Torah613Torah

If I baked challa, I would do it on Sunday.

INTP. I like ENs.

Ask. There are certain conditions like endometriosis which do have a genetic correlation and do affect fertility, but they are halachically required to tell you the truth about it. If the mother and aunt has it, but the daughter doesn’t, there shouldn’t be any issues. If the daughter does have it, it is a concern.

OTOH, I know a person who was at high risk for fertility issues, and so far has 9 children Ka”h. Hashem runs the world.

Englishman: On what number date?

What on earth was he doing in a Yichud room?

If it was his wife, why did he need to propose?

There’s a reason the the extreme of Chesed, is Znus.

Yehudayona: I believe pressuring men to marry before they are “ready” would just cause broken engagements when they become terrified of the commitment. Of course, we can’t know without running a well-designed study which is ethically questionable.

Thanks, Curiousity.

Medium Size Shadchan:

Let’s talk about our priorities. We are here to serve Hashem and do our best in whatever situation He puts us in. Right now, I’m single and trying to use my time to help others and develop myself so that I’ll be a good Jewess, wife and mother when I marry IYH. This is not a sad situation.

Note: We say “Im Yirtze Hashem”. IF Hashem wishes. Because it’s up to Him and not up to you or me. Like everyone, I sometimes worry about never getting married. But what’s the point of worrying? Does it make me happier? More productive? A more marriageable person?

Now back to tzaros. ??? comes from ????, or a siege. A person with ???? is unable to break out of their current situation, they feel locked in. But if we realize that we can grow whatever the situation, it turns into ????, a window through which we can see the light.

You say that once you get married, all tzaros are normal. I don’t buy that. All tzaros are painful to those who experience them. It’s quite callous, if I may use that word, to say that one tzarah counts more than another.

It’s certainly very sad if we can’t use our bodies for the purposes Hashem made us female; the sanctification of marriage and building the world through children. Chana, mother of Shmuel HaNavi, davened that she should have children for this reason. Rochel Imenu allowed her sister to marry Yaakov even though she realized this may result in her never being able to marry, since the other option was Esav (talk about 50% never marrying!).

Does it really matter if their tzaros were normal?

B”N, I am now taking a 24 hour moratorium on posting on the YWN CR.

Yamoos: Yes, and to attend grad school (in a field that actually does have jobs) in the near future.

PBA: I just don’t see someone with your intelligence and apparent hashkafos not getting any degree.

Someone is not likely to develop your writing skills if they don’t intend to get a degree, but if they do, it increases the probability of their pursuing a degree. Call it woman’s intuition.

I’m a single girl, Medium Size Shadchan, and not callous.

:rant:

Rather than marry boys older, I suggest a drastic increase in humility. Girls should realize that boys are different and not expect them to be on exactly the same ruchniyus and maturity level, as long as the right values are in place. And boys should stop thinking they can cherry pick girls.

Everyone thinks they are perfect. The girls, who have never dealt with the outside world, don’t understand the challenges they will face will change them and don’t appreciate the nisayon-free life they have led. And the boys think that if they are halfway decent, all the girls should fall head over heels on sight.

Borei Nefashos Rabos V’Chesronam, we all have our flaws so we

should help each other. Hashem will help us find the right one, as he helped our parents and their parents etc. through the generations, or else you wouldn’t be here.

Let’s relax, work on improving ourselves, realize we’re not perfect and can’t expect to marry someone perfect, and maybe accept that our zivug may come from somewhere we don’t expect.

Please, fellow single girls, stop worrying about getting married! Once you get married, there are bills to pay, kids to raise, and their shidduchim to worry about… it’s never-ending. Enjoy life and let the boys work for something for once!

:endrant:

Everything comes from Hashem, and all’s fair in love and war.

Whatever the situation is, you need to manipulate the system in your favor.

I do find that boys are much more diverse than girls religiously. It’s fine with me as long as a Rav is in the picture, but I can see other girls being turned off by someone who is not exactly like their father/brother/seminary teacher.

I think it’s a horrible thing to do. Get your experience with your mother or sister or therapist. There are even professional coaches.

OTOH, you should go out with people who may not be 100% perfect on paper, barring major red flags. But not as target practice.

Frum girls are very serious about getting married, and I think doing this would be a big-time Onaas Devarim.

Only married women could attend. Now I’m really curious.

It makes little sense. Historically, girls have always generally married boys somewhat older than themselves. Most somehow get married. That’s life. It’s a manufactured crisis. Back when giving birth had a 50% fatality rate, there were not enough girls.

Pushing boys to marry earlier may relieve the dating crisis, but not the broken engagements/ divorce crisis.

WIY, agreed.

LOL Yamoos, I’d be very surprised if PBA never went to college.

Bugs. I can’t explain why.

I agree with Uneeq.

Oomis, I’m a girl. (Why does everyone think I’m a boy? I thought the football topic would put that to rest once and for all.)

We still need to learn our Halachos, and hopefully Parsha to tell our kids. Personally, I don’t intend to rely on the school system to educate my children; learning doesn’t belong in schools exclusively.

And no one can remember all the necessary Halachos for day to day life from a couple of High School classes.

As my father is fond of reminding me, some women in Europe knew Chayei Adam by heart.

Google Monsey bus and look at their schedule.

Prithee get thee a Rabbi.

I went to Touro, and loved it. It’s a matter of finding the right professors and making sure that your department is a good one (or at least that you are happy with the quality of teaching.)

WIY, I completely agree with you, and never understood how a girl can expect to stay the same frum without constant learning.

WIY, thanks for that detailed overview! Now I know what to look out for. 🙂

Why are you using credit cards?

Give her cash and if she she must use a credit card (like for online purchases) she has to give that amount of cash into an envelope marked for the cc bill.