Torah613Torah

EzratHashem: No, we don’t train our kids to be terrorists, or jihad.

WIY: It’s okay. You’re forgiven. 🙂 It was very out of character for you anyway.

Sam2: Saying something “has to do with a”z” does not answer the question. Just say what exactly it has to do with a”z.

daniela:

Firstly, you have absolutely no idea why she is asking me. I’m not her teacher (If I was, I wouldn’t teach from the kitzur)

Secondly, her comment about feminism, learning Torah, and tznius was a joke, if immature, in response to Brony’s telling her to look it up in the Gemara.

Thirdly, as you suggested, I read her the answers here.

Fourthly, as a very bright teenager, I know for a fact she would be extremely offended by an answer that attempted merely to teach her about her ignorance. She knows she is ignorant. She wants to learn Torah, but she doesn’t want to learn Gemara, as she is a BY girl. It’s very hard to draw a line.

Fifthly, you’re saying that just because someone quoted from the Talmud, she should be grateful that she got any answer at all, and now should pursue it elsewhere. I thank Hashem I am not related to you, I would have gone off the derech by the time I hit high school.

Our relationship, and why we chose to post this, is not relevant to the question. She was responding to Brony, who in my opinion was entirely correct to tell her to look it up, and who also answered the question asked. Yes she is immature. That’s okay in my opinion, she is supposed to be. But she doesn’t deserve – nobody deserves – to be insulted or to have her question ignored just because she is immature. She asked sincerely.

Daniela: Popa’s answer was great. However, due to my lack of familiarity with Shas, it would take me a long time to look it up and explain it to her.

For the record, I disagree with her and think that we should learn how halacha is decided at some point, and certainly have nothing against looking up sources. But that’s for another thread.

So I read her all of your responses.

Brony: Thank you again. She liked that it is kabbalah, and that it is for different reasons.

WIY: A girl is not a “feminist in the making” for asking an obvious question like this one, and if you ever have to answer questions for girls, you should know that a response like yours above is the one guaranteed way to produce feminists.

Additionally, she says that you obviously don’t know the answer because if you knew it then you would just say so, like others did above, instead of negating the question or the questioner.

Sam2: Thank you that was interesting. They liked the addition of palm trees.

Popa, would you mind restating your response, in a way that those who are not supposed to have learned Gemara could understand?

Yaff: That’s equally offensive, to say pigs and dogs and girls are tamei.

Fat is irrelevant to my analogy.

The creepy theory is definitely true for online dating websites.

OK, so the last few buyers tend to be people the baker doesn’t want to let into the store, even though the bread’s the same.

Ploni: If you want to debate on this thread, you need to address the points made on this thread.

Thank you for your advice. I am sure Hashem will send me, and all people looking for the right person for the right reasons, the right one at the right time. I hope and pray it should be soon, for everyone. And meanwhile, we have to serve Hashem with what we have, and not spend our lives worrying about never getting married.

Ploni: This is my mashal, cliffsnotes style:

Characters:

Baker – Hashem

Bakery – world

Bread – women

Buyers – men

Summary:

Ratio of buyers to bread is stable. It just doesn’t look like that if you come in the middle of the day, it looks like there’s way more bread than buyers.

Ploni, that’s exactly what I’m saying. That this so-called “crisis” is a matter of perception.

Ploni, do you agree that the shidduch crisis is self-created?

if so, do you agree that most girls and boys will get married?

If so, my analogy would hold, wouldn’t it?

The little I know (who obviously knows a lot):

I found what you wrote about the yeshivos fascinating. I only work with girls, and have never really thought about the school system as an issue itself, since most are either out of school or graduated. 🙂 However, I think the same is true in many in-town BYs. (by tweens, I meant late teens to twenties, and realized later it refers to preteens.)

I can’t respond to your points about yeshivos because as a girl, I just don’t know enough about the topic. I agree that we need to care about every child’s welfare. But it was really interesting to read that about mussar, and amkus, and thank you for posting that.

big deal: It’s a big deal, you’re allowed to feel strongly about it. 🙂

Thanks DY. I bumped the first thread you linked for yetelz’s convenience.

yetelz: “Most” but not all. Percentagewise, as SaysMe pointed out, more girls are in the market at any one time than boys are entering. Maybe the numbers even out at the end of every zman a bit, but that’s temporary.

DaasYochid

I am arguing that this is a Bitachon challenge, rather than a true numbers problem, as the shidduch crisis crazies insist.

SaysMe: Thank you 🙂

akuperma: there used to be a very high mortality rate in childbirth as well.

DaasYochid: Exactly, if they trust that Hashem knows what He is doing, they will not panic. They will know that the right one will come at the right time. Maybe there will be whole wheat instead, maybe they will buy cookies, maybe someone will deliver from another bakery. But if Hashem wants them to have bread, they will have bread. (I’m going by your analogy where men are bread)

yetelz: For thousands of years, men have had only one wife, but there was a high mortality rate.

SaysMe: I think it’s pretty much all. At least all of my friends. Maybe 1/5 girls says they’re not really in shidduchim, but if someone comes up who sounds really good, they’re willing to date, because they’re worried about saying no to the right one.

need sem help: Sounds like you’re a good pair!