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Slichos: If you ever stay in my house, I’m locking all the doors.
Agree with 147.
OOM: +1
It’s got a certain ring to it.
writersoul: Feel free to write an epilogue. Or start the sequel. 🙂
Oops Popa, you’re right. I forgot Rochel’s double. Sorry.
And now, for the last and final installment:
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Bereishis and Rivky went out 3 times. Rivky’s seminary teacher told her to say no because he didn’t have a kosher phone (in addition to his many non-kosher phones). However, it occurred to Rivky that Lauren would be perfect for Bereishis and she suggested it to Mrs. Norrisberg. And that is how Lauren Steinhardt became a Baalas Teshuva and married Bereishis Ben Avraham.
Lauren B.A. (of course, without the B.A., ch”v) decided to become a Bais Yaakov teacher, and quickly rose in the ranks to become the top substitute teacher in Bais Yaakov. She was really quite an amazing substitute. Everyone would try to guess which teacher was the substitute, and which was real, but they were never sure.
Meanwhile Eliyahu Rainden asked Mrs. Norrisberg to set him up with Rivky Schwartz. They dated and got married last December. Her parents, Shmuel and Chani, were absolutely delighted. Rivky recently had a boy, whom she named Reuven Chaim.
All the doubles and triples ended up marrying each other too. The subjects in the shidduch vaccine trials married working boys, but they were happy.
Everyone in the story had bracha and hatzlacha and nachas from their many children and parnasa and lived to see Moshiach. They thanked Hashem and were very happy.
The End.
the little I know:
Kavanah is never measured in decibel level. One may not daven loudly in a manner that is disturbing to others. It is commonplace in many shuls that there are individuals who are so enamored with their own voice that they continually make themselves heard at the expense of others. Likewise, there is often a “rebbe” who puts on a display of answering ??? or ??? ???? ??? in a way which “appears” to be righteous but is really old fashioned ????. We must be constantly aware that true kavanah is completely ????? ????.
It is a great idea to do something in each and every tefila that is totally personal. One magid shiur would suggest to his talmidim that each bochur say something personal in every ???? ???? that was recited silently and his own language. Someone else suggested that everyone choose any part of davening, a bracha, a posuk, etc., study it, and make it their own. That would be always the place during which that individual would establish a connection to ???”?. hopefully, that would expand, but there is at least some place during tefila where the connection to ???”? occurs.
An excellent post that is worth repeating.
I don’t know a recipe, but if you want the outside to look nice and brown with no eggs, you can paint it with coffee.
Brilliant updating.
I think it’s time for a character list before we all get confused:
Schwartz Family:
Rivky (main character): Daughter in Shidduchim, wants to marry a learning boy, works for NSA developing shidduch vaccine
Shmuel: Father of eligible daughter Rivky, earns money to marry her off by selling his OTD son’s organs on black market, married to
Chani: Mother of eligible daughter Rivky, divorces Shmuel for gambling away that money
Reuven: OTD son of Shmuel and brother of Rivky, killed by a female who posts on inshidduchim.com, your guess if that’s Rivky or not
Other Characters:
Rabbi Feder: Shmuel’s Rav, implied to have advised Shmuel to have Reuven killed to improve Rivky’s shidduch prospects.
MMM aka Mohammed McDonald-McVeigh (pronounced Triple-M): quintuple agent for Iran/Israel/Congo, won the money from Shmuel, bought flowers for his wife—-
Mrs. Norrisberg: Brooklyn name of Mrs. McDonald-McVeigh, famous wannabe shadchan, tries to set up Rivky with—
Bereishis Ben Avraham: ger tzedek, cousin to British royal family, coffee magnate, baal middos, five-time winner of Family First’s Most-Charming-Smile Award. Rivky doesn’t want to go out with him because he’s not in kollel and why should she compromise when she has her vaccine?
Eliyahu Rainden: MMM’s secret informer within the NSA, still in learning, wanted to ask Mrs. Norrisberg to be set up with Rivky. When MMM asks him for help in getting Rivky set up with Bereishis, Eliyahu tries to figure out how to stop Rivky from being set up with Bereishis while not offending his old friend MMM.
Rochel: Early subject of shidduch vaccine trials. Thinks she is happily married within a few hours. The vaccine works successfully but does not appear to cause autism.
Doubles and Triples:
Lauren Steinhardt: Rivky’s double, finds Orthodox female social norms difficult, decides to tell Shmuel and Chani that Rivky’s going to Alaska until needed for Pesach cleaning, wants to date Bereishis.
Shmuel’s double: Forgot to remove nose ring. Serves Baal Zevuv. Wants to send Rivky to Alaska.
Chani’s double: Very wrinkly. Wants to send Rivky to Alaska.
Lauren’s double: Implied to exist.
Lauren’s triple: Hides in flight to Alaska to free Rivky and allow the shidduch vaccine to work. Takes a dose of the latest version. Does not realize that—
Lauren’s triple’s alternate personality: filled Lauren’s triple’s syringe with an anti-tznius drug.
Shmuel’s Triple: Is confused about whether to pretend to notice or not notice Lauren’s Triple’s pretending pretending to not pretend to not know what’s going on.
I just bought one on Friday. I think it’s pretty tzanuah. 🙂
That’s like saying all Kallah dresses are not tzanuah.
Mazal tov!
writersoul, that was excellent. I’m not really up to bouncing off that right now. Maybe later this week. But, here’s my try.
Rivky’s double breathed a sigh of relief. That was close! She’d been worried that Rivky’s father would notice the nail polish she hadn’t had time to remove. The myriad rules, restrictions, and social norms Orthodox girls took for granted were not easy to duplicate, even for an experienced body double like Lauren Steinhardt.
Fortunately, Rivky had left detailed notes on her work, as well as a complete psychological analysis of her parents and close friends, and recordings of relevant DMCs. Lauren planned out her strategy for dealing with Rivky’s father. She’d explain that her new job involving special ed kids had given her an all-expenses-paid opportunity to move to Juneau, Alaska for the next 6 months, which meant she’d be home just in time to help with Pesach cleaning.
Then Lauren could start working on her next goal – dating Bereishis, the baal middos coffee magnate with the gorgeous smile.
Thank you for explaining, 1st timer. That was helpful.
I work with teens and am very familiar with Accutane. Let’s clarify some of the issues mentioned in this thread.
1. Accutane only causes birth defects if taken during pregnancy. Girls on accutane have to use 2 forms of birth control for this reason. (It is possible JF2 knows this but that should be clear.)
2. Joint pain is uncommon among people who take Accutane. No one I know who has taken it has had this issue from it. However, doesn’t google show it does?
A bit of sifting through google responses shows that apparently joint pain occurs among people who take it at higher doses, but rarely occurs among people who take it at lower doses.
Also, joint pain from accutane should disappear when it leaves your system. If it’s still bothering you than you may wish to see a joint pain doctor, rather than a dermatologist.
3. How can your dermatologist know it is coming from Accutane? Unless they always put their patients on such high doses that they have joint pain? Which anyway shouldn’t cause a delayed reaction.
In conclusion, I really doubt that Accutane is responsible for this issue, but even if it is, a dermatologist can’t do much for joint issues. Refua Shleima b’meheira!
I disagree with the letter. You have no idea what Vogue’s mother’s side of the story is, and it’s unfair to make her out to be the villain based on her daughter’s posting.
Vogue should write her own letter to her mother, as I suggested above.
We have two people now, who have read both books, and don’t see the issue.
Most likely there are similar elements, which wouldn’t be surprising since oral history and fiction are easily interpolated. Many story telling biographies have some elements that you could find in other literary works. In my opinion, that is appropriate for this sort of work, and does not mean that he was copying from another work.
Yinglish
Writersoul:
Yes, there is a hierarchy. The world isn’t black and white, as you know. 🙂
Rav Ovadia Yosef is a Gadol by all standards. We need to follow our leaders.
How do we decide who our leaders are? I don’t really know. That’s a question for a different thread. But I do know that it is not by reading the politics section of the newspaper. 🙂
Do you want a nursery that is part of an elementary school, or a smaller operation?
If shadchans are the gatekeepers of the shidduch process then much of this shidduch mess(crisis) wrests on their shoulders.
1. Let’s wrestle it away from them.
2. Shidduchim come from Hashem (this should really be #1 but for the wrestling theme)
3. Shadchan = people. Anyone can be a shadchan. So what you mean to say is, people thought this person wasn’t marriageable, until they got married. Fortunately for humanity, that happens all the time. 🙂 Because of point #2.
I read this biography and remember no such thing (And I’ve read Heart of Darkness too.)
Oomis: Sometimes people post things on YWN CR and all I want to know is, why would someone with internet access decide to post this on the CR, rather than use google or something?
Anyone can make up anything on the internet. I could totally post that I have or haven’t been on it, or have aches and pains or don’t, or that being near it caused my hair to grow in a heart shape around my eyebrows.
Of course the OP needs to see a doctor. So since someone else already said that, I’m free to ask my question.
I’d be happy to. How much is compensation? What are the hours?
Sorry writersoul. Thanks for your update! B”N I’ll do it sometime tomorrow.
I’m just curious: Suppose someone posted that they did or didn’t have aches and pains. How would that influence your next action?
That’s really interesting. Thanks DHM.
Lots of them. You should ask your neighbors where they send their kids, that will help with transportation too.
Hey! SDN is very good. You can get great tips from there if you ignore the gunners. You will definitely get better and more realistic advice from SDN than from the coffee room.
Assume everyone is lying, and separate the wheat from the chaff, and use SDN.
At one point I found it helped to write my mother a letter explaining why my feelings on the issue. Then we could discuss it later much more calmly.
Hope that helps.
writersoul: You’re brilliant. (in case you don’t hear it often enough 🙂 )
playtime: Nice. I think you mixed up MMM with Bereishis.
OK… who’s going to continue? I need something to bounce off of. 🙂
I had a teacher who carved out time to learn with me one on one once a week.
I still love her to this day, and stay in touch with her.
My source says that it was a great test and they enjoyed taking it.
Eliyahu Rainden was a good friend of Bereishis; they had stayed in touch since a 16 hour stint as seatmates for a flight to the Congo. He was also well acquainted with Mrs. Norrisberg (her Brooklyn alias, as ‘Mrs. McDonald-McVeigh’ was unlikely to succeed in shadchanus) and respected her opinion highly. In short, Rainden was perfectly positioned to precipitate this pairing.
MMM called Eliyahu on his top-secret emergency direct line.
“Rainden? This is MMM. What are you up to?”
“I am only at liberty to disclose that I’m about to visit a coffee magnate and obtain an international approval form for an essential shidduch vaccine ingredient.”
“Noooooo! Listen! My wife has a shidduch idea! B and R! I can’t say anything more over the phone! Do you get it?”
“You mean the B and R mentioned in the same Chumash? That’s brilliant! Both out of the box. But in the box. Unboxed, reboxed, inboxed, and outboxed. I can’t believe no one has set them up yet!”
“Well, she says she wants a boy in learning. And if the vaccine goes through, she’ll end up marrying her father’s pick, and they’ll both be miserable. We need to stop this now!”
“I’m on it. Call you back later.”
Eliyahu Rainden immediately put out a block on processing all paperwork for the shidduch vaccine. Meanwhile, he had Rivky assigned to analyzing coffee for traces of cortisol from the sweat of badly treated underage workers.
writersoul: Thanks. 🙂 Let’s not model after their story. Ours is better and way more exciting.
writersoul: great job. I lol’d at your punchline.
Student Doctor Network (google it)
Isn’t this the issur of ?? ?????
Seahorse: Are you a girl? If so, it is kosher.
There is also Malky Giniger, and Leah Forster for some comedy. 🙂
Welcome, blonj!
After graduating high school, Tznius has become a very hard mitzvah for me to keep. I have tried to wear skirts under my knees but as soon as I started college the sensitivity disappeared. I find it an every day struggle especially in the summer time to keep my skirts under my knees and loose. At home, my parents give me dissapionting looks which inevitably stears me away from working on my Tznius. I have tried expressing to them how hard this is for me. Any suggestions on how I can explain to them my situation? Any suggestions on how I can enhance my self esteem to become more Tznius?
This is a great question. You are really growing in the right direction if this is what you are asking! I’ve been in a similar situation and while this wasn’t a struggle for me, other things were.
The problem is that you’re exposed to strong negative spiritual influences, without enough positive spiritual influences to act as a counterbalance. It’s not tznius per se.
Can you learn Torah regularly, in some form? Do you have time to daven? Do you spend time socializing with your frum friends? Can you spend time in the frum community in an enjoyable situation? These help people stay connected and sensitive.
Hatzlacha Rabba! I hope this helps!
Hashem is One
Torah MiSinai
Reward and Punishment
Fever can also make some people too weak to eat or drink, which can be dangerous.
The quintuple agent, whose name was Mohammed McDonald-McVeigh, used the money to buy flowers for his wife, the famous wannabe shadchanit Mrs. Norrisberg. She asked him where the money came from, and when he explained the story of the Schwartz family, was determined to find Rivky a shidduch.
But who would marry the daughter of not one, but two divorcees? A clap of thunder sounded in the distance as Mrs. Norrisberg thought it over. Aha! The answer appeared bright as lightning in a forest on a dark night. Oseh Maaseh Bereishis! That lovely Ger Tzedek Bereishis ben Avraham- odd name, to be sure, but wouldn’t Bereishis and Rivky make a lovely pair? Their names even appeared in the same chumash!
It was mamash bashert, she concluded. She turned to her dear husband Triple M (It was too long to call him Mohammed McDonald-McVeigh, and anyway what his parents were thinking naming him that was beyond her.) “Triple M, dear, what do you think of Bereishis for that Rivky Schwartz you just told me about?”
I like the Chuck Norris jokes.
Shopping613: You do post a lot, but I like you. You are smart, you have good hashkafos, you are cute, and you have a cheerful and pleasant personality. You will grow into a wonderful adult.
I’ve been reading your posts and feel bad that you are going through such a tough time. I hope things get better for you. It looks like you’re really doing your best in a very difficult situation.
Keep it up and don’t let anyone discourage you from posting!
In my vast experience in deporting Iranians, I have found it to be helpful to not post my intentions on an internet forum to provide evidence of planned malice.
Try non-fiction.
I liked the billboard going into Manhattan warning people that they’re about to enter a Makom Tumah.
Smart as they come: I have a friend whose family made yerida; her hair, which was straight in Israel, became curly in America.
Doesnt it make you feel fake and like a fraud standing in front of a mirror every day and applying make up? … its changing their whole face and you would not recognize them without the makeup. Is this not fake? Its like going out with a mask on every day.
You know, the shevatim didn’t recognize Yosef because he had grown a beard. It changes their whole face. Doesn’t that make men feel fake and like a fraud wearing a mask standing in front of a mirror shaving? Answer honestly.
Are you male or female?
For what age?
What kind of trouble learning?
What is your geographic region?