Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
OP: Hamakom yenachem eschem bsoch shaar avlei tzion v’yerushalayim.
22 for a girl, 29 for a boy.
I wanted to be boring and unoriginal.
In the short term, you need to talk about it.
Here’s how to talk about it:
1. Tell her “I love you and so much appreciate all the work you do in the house” (mention some specifics, like if she washed the dishes for Shabbos or did laundry). Tell her how you think about her at work and wonder how she’s feeling. Ask her how she feels.
2. Stop. Listen to what she tells you. Agree with whatever she says. Don’t say anything more about the cleaning except compliments if you notice she did something. Also compliment her on other things.
3. Wait AT LEAST 24 hours. That way she won’t think you only care about the cleaning lady issue. Repeat Steps 1 and 2. Only go onto Step 4 when you haven’t argued about anything else that day.
4. Do Steps 1 and 2 again. Now you can bring up the cleaning lady. Be honest and say you’d really rather not hire a cleaning lady. You’d be happy to help, but you’re tired when you come home, so if she could please tell you something you can do that takes less than 10 minutes before work you’d be happy to. Would that be enough of a help?
5. If she says Yes, do whatever she asks for. She probably just didn’t feel appreciated and your compliments and participating fixed that. Have her keep you company while you clean and mention how happy you are to spend time helping her.
6. If she says No, it wouldn’t help, get a cleaning lady. Don’t fight with her because you just can’t win. If you don’t get a cleaning lady, she’ll feel like you don’t care about her even more. If you do get one, make sure you don’t act like you resent it, make it an act of love so she doesn’t feel like you resent helping her. Either way, you’ll be much happier than if you keep on letting everything turn into an argument.
Also, I agree with all the posters who are going to say you should go for marital counseling.
The ninth month counting from what?
Of course men cooking is a good thing.
I enjoy cooking and baking for my husband, but I also very much enjoy and appreciate when he makes food for us. Because he can cook, he’s better at complimenting food because he has more understanding of what goes into making good food. He also knows how to lend a hand when needed.
Ultimately, however, it’s a woman’s responsibility to feed the family healthfully.
Date rich girls until you get a parnasa.
Interesting question. I’ve always wondered what people with wheelchairs do in Eretz Yisrael, it feels like there are steps everywhere.
I became Satmar.
People who are poor cannot usually invest.
Great thread.
Men don’t mind barbequing or being a Chef or making cholent. If you don’t call it cooking they’ll do it quite happily.
I heard this too, and was told not to worry about it. Ask your father or Rav.
DY: Thanks!
Only if he makes pizza.
What about chess?
What do you consider affordable?
Take a road trip.
Osem
Rebdoniel, of course they CLAIM it ended over money.
They would rather say the problem was money, than admit that they have poor communication skills.
I’m more worried about parents with internet access asking for their daughters.
Mazal tov! May they grow to Torah Chuppa and Maasim tovim!
I learn iyun and bekiyus of cooking and cleaning. And every so often I go to school to learn about how I can get a job that will hopefully let me cook and clean for more hours than I work.
zeena.kasta: Sounds perfect to me.
Daas Yochid: If it involves posting on Yeshiva World, it is probably not allowed on Shabbos.
It would be quite dangerous to make friends on the CR. Don’t you have friends in real life? For every post you make, call someone once and soon you’ll be too busy for the CR!
I’m not a Rabbi, but I went to a very good seminary and I’m very reliable. You can ask me.
I think chives are small onions. I googled.
Well, MY husband goes to work and gives me a regular stipend for sitting and learning.
Keep on eating! Hashem made the world for us to enjoy!
Excellent post, streekgeek. Agree with kneedeep and r as well.
What does your husband do?
And Chinese apples!
I also need it.
I’m so confused by the OP.
But if you knew I was your mother in law, you’d never feel comfortable posting honestly!
writersoul:
I agree that it depends on career plans. For a STEM field I’d say Stern. Touro has a long way to go in terms of scientific research and internship availability. For psychology/history/English/Judaic studies Touro is the same or better.
SecularFrummy, perhaps in the past it did, but frankly I don’t see any difference between myself and my peers from highly ranked schools and even the Ivies academically. The only difference is the name, but if Hashem gave you the abilities, that’s easy enough to change with graduate school.
In most fields today, graduate schools care that your GPA and GRE/equivalent is above their baseline. Then it’s experiences, research, proof of productivity, diversity that will make it or break it. Not the name of your undergrad.
Or like planning to be a Bais Yaakov teacher without going to seminary.
You’re right Gamanit, I think it was 100 + first time consultation(since I got the raw hair and then brought it to the sheitel macher.
It definitely wasn’t more than 200.
Well, suppose I think that if he is not home by 8pm, he is a bum. He should go to sleep at 9 so he’ll be up at 1 for tikkun chatzos and then again at 5 for vasikin.
Popa’s right, although I don’t know how he would know. I have a Bliss which is all European hair for around 1200.
Irenes are decent quality and as long as your hair color is brown are in the 500 range (You can buy from the manufacturer in Boro Park and get it cut and set separately for another few hundred, still much cheaper than a brand name sheitel.)
Zeh hayom asah Hashem, nagila v’nismicha bo!
On a hard day that means, “Whatever happened today was from Hashem, and I’m going to be happy about it no matter what!!”
On other days, “What happy happenings Hashem has made on this day, let’s be happy about it!!”
Oomis: Flip side being, hitting them with the full magnitude of the responsibility isn’t going to encourage them to get married.