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I go by my mother in terms of minhagim regarding the mitzvos that apply to women. But in terms of halacha, I go by my husband.
Sometimes it’s confusing what is minhag and what is halacha. If he says it’s halacha, I’ll go by that too.
zahavasdad:
Now you’ve repeated your story here, and repeated it again.
Apparently not everyone whose parents make them taste the cholent goes off the derech.
****Proud child of parent who made child eat teaspoon of cholent once a week and stayed on the derech and even likes cholent now****
So everyone agrees with me that it’s a factor that should be taken under consideration.
Sure, being heterozygous might be an advantage, but you have to weigh that against the effort and expense of checking every possible child in law. And there are better ways to get those advantages. I’d rather my child marry someone who is smart and not a known carrier of Tay-Sachs, for example.
Basically, I think our current system is optimal. We prevent the expression of disease without letting it factor into the decision.
writersoul: There’s plenty of evidence for this. PubMed is a good resource for finding studies, or one can google heterozygote advantage to read it in a more entertaining format.
DY: Even a broken clock is right twice a day. Doesn’t mean it’s the best use of shidduch energy.
Regarding your first point, researchers from a major Israeli university developed a mathematical model to predict the future carrier rate of the Tay Sachs’ gene in the case that no two carriers ever marry. The result was that yes, the carrier rate will increase , but will take at least 500 years for it to be worth any consideration, and even then the effect will be miniscule.
This is correct. Genetic testing does not increase the carrier rate enough to have a significant effect on genetic disease.
Even if it did, having one recessive gene often confers health benefits.
Carriers of Cystic Fibrosis are more resistant to cholera, typhoid, and tuberculosis.
Carriers of Tay-Sachs and muscular dystrophy have a higher IQ.
Carriers of some genes for deafness are more resistant to bacterial infections and have better cell repair.
Yes, Crohn’s is a real issue.
So are allergies, ADHD, depression, insomnia, high blood pressure, diabetes, and Tay-Sachs.
Obviously there are varying degrees of severity in all of this, but they all need to be taken into account.
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but the nistaros are not. Right now genetic issues are niglos and our responsibility.
Just say it’s me.
Thank you golfer.
My opinion is that unless you’ve met both the boy and the girl, however briefly, you shouldn’t be the shadchan. Take it or leave it.
You can put people together just because they’re male and female, but your success rate will be very low compared to friends and family.
There are very few threads about yeshivos.
Suppose the cholent did stick. How do you clean the pot?
Post it!
Zahavasdad: I used to dislike the taste of meat intensely. My father told me I had to take at least a little cholent because it was the only hot dish on the table, in order to be mekayem the mitzva of the seuda in the best way.
I ate about a teaspoonful of cholent every Shabbos, didn’t feel forced, and over time began to tolerate and even enjoy it. Now I eat a regular serving of cholent most of the time.
The men here can tell us about the halachos involved, but chinuch wise, not eating a major dish is going to be problematic for a child later on. Forcing a child to eat it is obviously not very helpful, but having them take even a little bit, just to be part of it, is very reasonable.
I bet that every day he brought home new flowers for his wife, because he found nicer flowers for her for Shabbos.
LOL
It would have to factor into the decision. I’m happier not knowing.
Salad
I went to half day, but I know a lot of girls from intensive. Maybe even Popa’s wife.
It’s very frum, yeshivish and chasidish girls.
The dorm seemed nice but cramped from my one visit.
Imho, you shouldn’t suggest a shidduch without having any idea if it’s shayach. You’re just wasting people’s time and possibly insulting them.
Tell me!
My barley porridge is cooking.
The truth is, my family didn’t really have fairy tales, and the ones I read were the child-friendly versions.
I read 2 Holocaust books when I was 7 (Sisters In the Storm and From Light to Darkness, or something like that), and had nightmares for a long time afterwards. Would I let my kids read them? I dunno. Somehow I’m glad that that’s what scared me and not fairy tales.
Now that I’m an adult, I often worry about being eaten. I never did get over learning those frightening fairy tales.
Writersoul: Very impressive.
Of course they are.
Translate it into another language, like Hebrew, as they speak.
I’m not mekabel that Popa has trouble saying deep Divrei Torah.
What exactly is “veibesher Torah” anyway? Is it the things I learned in seminary that didn’t make sense? What about the things that did make sense, are they veibesher too? Is it like a bubbe maiseh?
If girls learn Chumash, is that veibesher Torah?
If men learn practical halacha, is that veibesher Torah?
If I believe that ayin haras can be removed by earwax, is that veibesher Torah?
If a girl learns Daf Yomi is that veibesher Torah?
Also, if a girl is single, can she say veibesher Torah? Since she is not a veibish?
heeheeheeheeheeheeheeheehee
That was a very courageous weather report. So far it is accurate – there was some tal umatar today.
lolol
Ask them to repeat themselves in order to teach yourself patience.
Why is that surprising? It’s called the familiarity bias – the more you are exposed to something, the more comfortable you get with it.
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Popa, your husband is trying to follow the words of Mishlei. That’s the source for Veiber Torah.
Do you think you could make the title more conceptually oblique?
Imagine if your husband was a feminist, and wanted you to daven 3 times a day with a minyan and tallis and tefillin, and made you go to work.
Syag, what do the onions do for the latka? What happens if you make latkas without onions?
It means Efron took away all his money.
Every supper night, say a Dvar Torah, and make sure it’s lomdish and connects current events, the parsha, and Ritvas, R’ Naftulis and R’ Shimons.
Just put it on your shidduch resume.
She has a PhD, but it’s really on Atmospheric Paleontology with a focus on Microeconomics.
I’m very judgmental but favorably.
I heard she has a PhD from Duke, and I don’t mean the Duke. I would only go to a seminary where the principal has a PhD from a better ranked Ivy League, like Harvard or Columbia.
The really frum girls don’t even go to seminary any more. In the shtetl, no one went to seminary.
You don’t think the information he posts is accurate?