some advice- like chulent recipes (yum!) and the like i only trust a certified posek. for shidduchim and other life decisions i’ll generally rely on the coffee room.

my brim is small. so hah. i dont like cowboy hats. and-josh- when the hamoin am was separated by their general look fom the goyim maybe they didnt need the black hat.(as an aside they all wore some sort of hat/cap.) nowadays many jews are trying to dress like the goyim. this is as new a phenomeneon as black hats- so maybe its counterbalances.

sam2- please. an apikores? retarded.im an intensely right winger in terms of hashkafa and i dont think that. i often play devils advocate at the risk of getting modded. so believe me thats not true.

i dont think a black hatter considers himself more frum. i think he has confidence in his approach to avodas hashem because many, many gedolim of previous times and the present endorse or otherwise agree with the way of life he has chosen. im not saying that confidence manifests itself in the most agreeable way, but is still think thats what it is,, not a sense of being holier then thou.

im assuming this isnt normal normal yeshivish dating or you wouldnt have planned dinner. that said, your post wasnt specific enough. how “yeshivish” are you. generally reg. clothes for date one is a nono. but maybe something came up. maybe…who knows. dont dump her.

first of all. obviously sunglasses in and of themselves arent a problem. to anyone whos honest to themselves and has open eyes, big fashion sunglasses are totally in style and attract atention. thats the problem. what i mean is, are you wearing sunglasses that dont have thick arms and frame? or are your sunglasses actually horse blinders in disguise. if you can honestly answer then youve answered the ops question. also, go check out what the yeshiva bochurims first accesory is when he dresses up (or dresses down) for his bein hazmanim cross country road trip. they will be sunglasses, and they will be large. thats cuz theyre makingh a statement. and the statement theyre making is the same one when a frum anyone wears them- whether you mean it or not.

anonymo7654e34s. they look difeferent. duh. moot point.Sam- i agree that tzitzis will show that your jewish. e ven if madonnas wearing them. but- someone who wants to show what he believes in ie hashkafos, ideals, and his high regard for a certain way of life makes that statement by wearing as hat. he could also put a sign around his neck. maybe everyone else would too. or maybe they wouldnt. i dont understand why you take issue with someone wearing their heart on their sleeve. and in response to saying that tzitzis shows this too, i would argue that the giggly breslov guy in tzfas- i met him there yesterday- doesnt have the same regard for a blatt gemara as does the roshei yeshiva whose footsteps i want to follow in. thats why i wear a hat. are you opposed to a tzioni wearing an israeli flag on his backpack? if he means to identify with what he believes is a jewish ideal then his tzitzis should be enough and his actions should bother you. please respond- iom interested in what you think- sam2.

its probably not the best thing for your prospective shidduch and your whole matziv to hear a gagillion opinions in the CR. just saying- itll confuse you

you can never know what happened. never

sam2-your arguements are singularly not compelling. A hat is an association with a certain segment of the population,granted. tzitzis, unfortunately, have become part of a look, aside from the mitza observance that lies in wearing them. hollywood stars have been spotted in tzitzis. na nachs who do nothing but giggle and dance all day wear tzitzis. i agree it should not be so. take their tzitzis away and i wont need a hat. tzitzis (especially low-hanging ones with tcheiles) have become part of a grunge hippy look. so yes, these associations do exist, and tzitzis, in this day and age, do not tell the truth about a person.

marshmallows…..yum!!

my rebbe told me that r mohes tshuva to make tea on shabbos in a kli shlishi was given to an old sick woman and shouldnt be followed for the hamoin am. just an example.

Every single post about the values of good grammar and punctuation has had some sort of typo within. I would suggest that it’s a siman from Above. Stop the grammar police. I don’t want it.

the hat represnts. thats it.you identify with an ideal, an image. of course, there are people that have those ideals and dont wear a hat. but if you want to show someone what your service of hashem entails, a hat says it. thats the practical application.

i want to remind all posters that only one side of this story is being presented, which means at best half the facts, perhaps mostly opinions. i was at risk and getting out of it is nearly impossible. i got “busted” and my RY yelled at me for half an hour and broke down crying. thats what i needed to snap out of it. maybe the op had recieved previous intervention that he didnt respond to. in todays day and age its easy to crucify every rov and RY, but the truth is that its the easy way to play the blame game. bite the bullet and snap out of it. its your life and dont let the fact that your mad cloud your shtayging. on a harsher note get over yourself jst a bit. people have been through this and worse. find someone older – in their forties or fifties that you can trust. younger people often seem like thew ones you want to talk to but i find that age = wisdom and experience, and they generally have less ulterior motives.

I get get my grammar kicks from the book title ‘Eats, Shoots, and Leaves’. A very worthwhile read. but grammar police on the internet is really not appreciated.

im aint usually harsh or nuthin, shucks. im just a bit fed up lol

i use it when i think ill get modded. i hope the mods wont chap. and the people i want to chap will. vihameivin yovin

Mpc for president

original posters intention was understood. 100 years ago everyone, yes everyone; any grown up man wore a hat. it was standard attire. not only the rich and famous wore it. it wasnt a status symbol. people nowadays have changed whats the norm. the bnei torah arent looking to dress like ceos; they want to dress like normal, respectable people. if nowadays the average joe doesnt have enough respect for himself to dress in a bkovodik’ manner that doesnt change what is really standard nice attire. so actually, the standard would be jeans and a t shirt, because we’re not aiming to look like ceos

aries i think you need to chill out just a bit. the op put his topic in inspiration/mussar. what should be posted there- the yankees stats? you can read what you want. but he/she has the can post all the mussar vorts he wants.

whatevers cheaper

i know nthis is an old thread. i think its kidei to mention something. smoking is dumb. theres a good chance it will kill you. comparisons to artery clogging fatty foods are dumb, and i think that is self understood. however, the questionisnt all that valid. cigarettes are addictive; physically, emotionally, physcologically. no-one will get up and tell you its right. but quitting takes literally super human effort. so if someone is still smoking its understandable. not good- but understandable. calling them morons and abusive is unfair. smoking is not a deciding factor on whether a person is good or not. if you have never been addicted and tried to quit you CANNOT understand what theyre going through. cut them some slack and stop hating. at least its not something directly harmful to their neshama. and to make shidduchim harder for boys on purpose, such as a policy that even if he smoked five years ago and quit, my daughter still wont go out with him, is achzoriyus. he saw the error of his ways and quit- give the guy a break. maybe go break his legs cuz he used to smoke? and another thing- theres a difference between wanting to quit and knowing you need to for whatever reason but not actually desiring to stop smoking. if you dont want to quit- just your doctor tells you to, you still love the cigarette and you wont be able to. if you have a tangible reason now why to quit its way easier. exhale.

im starting cheesecake for next shavuos. ill sell it for pesach.