after matan torah we cant make cheshbonos. the answers to all the shaalos on the avos cant be applied today, even if you know it will come out good. ie- Menashe not being osek in pru urivu. although the gemara does say the above its in theory, not in maaseh- after matan torah what is written goes and thats it.

these issues are all about sensitivities. if you have them ma toiv u ma noim. if you dont-fine. you cant teach someone a sensitivity.

i have a maaseh. a guy i was with in yeshiva baaveled me for about a year straight. he acted disgusting towards me and wouldnt treat me like a normal person. hes the very intimidating type and i dont get intimadated,so i think he wasnt used to it and acted accordingly to feel dominant. i really have never in my life seen such terrible middos, or a person with so much to learn. needless to say i didnt want to have a strained relationship with a guy that i was near all day so i planned on asking mechila. i spoke to mutual friends (im honestly surprised he has any) who were aware of the issue and asked them how to proceed. they all told me it was totally not kidai,but i didnt listen and did it anyway. ill never forget his answer “Gimme a break; you havent got one real bone in your body” i left it at that. he actually didnt utter a word directed at me from then on. point is, its nice in theory, but some people are just nuts.

YAY!!!OMG!!!!LOL!!!!OMG!!!!

adorable- im barely passed you in this process. these are NOT the things you should allow to get to you. he thinks youd rather it and youre trying to make life easier (no matter how many times youve “convinced” him- he still thinks so). let it pass and think fakert- hes so happy hw wants something special for you. think on the flip side.

apushit- not if her focus is her house and family. i mean to contrast the outlook of these two types; whats their focus in life. not what osition they hold. i posit that a wall street career woman is more likely to give priority to her job than a BY principal.

i think the key in this argument is how we define staying in the home. the people being sarcastic and taking issue are those who would wish we would define it as literally nev er leaving the home. take a lok at the Gaon’s letter to his wife- spooky. i think the yeshivish elelments here and the OP arent defining it as above, rather that a womans focus should be her homelife. the flipside of this is a woman whose main and central focus is her career. in which case her career comes before her husband, children, domestic duties (ouch! i said it), and raising a family. a woman can teach in a frum school and still be in the category to be defined as “in the home”. a woman who works fourteen hours as a partner on wall stret probably cannot. therein lies the miscommunication.

QB- the op was clearly railing against the element of feminism that has crept into society. the problem would seemingly be a discrepancy with torah hashkafa; a discprepancy not found in the kollel lifestyle. her problem wasnt working. and i agree with you that a husband should do whatever he can to ease a wife’s burden.

as annoying as this sounds the rule in shavers is ” the more it costs the better it works”. i find that there really is a difference. when i used to try and get away with a thirty dollar shaver i could tell the dif. go for the norelco with lotion in it. i dont mean cuz of that but i know it works well.

k so pshat from lechem haponim is downright folly. i assume it has a source in the fact that Hashem made chavas hair braided.

the absolute best is braun foil- but some some poiskim dont allow it. if not then norelco- but youll need to take out the lift and cut. its really easy- i did it myself. check out koshershaver.com

i think that dating/beshowing is our hishtadlus in finding a zivug. lets be honest- you wont really know your wife for at least a while after your married, and you wont actually have a deep love for her. in that case whatever your mesorah/rabbonim holds is the right amount of hishtadlus, thats good for you (if your takeh a part of this sort of community and not just doing it for cultural norm). i would add that a milion things need to shtim to be happy, how many can you learn from dating? its up to hashem; if youve done your hishtadlus your in good hands.

yay!! gumballs!!!!

i just had a similar experience. i went to the ontario science center in toronto for the first time in years and they got rid of all the best stuff from when i was a kid! blech!

can i have a scary sounding one? with big sharp teeth and claws?

aries- the point of this thread was in defense to another bashing men for not doing work that generally falls to women. and in response to a previous post- my wife asks me to fold all tableclothes cuz my tallis-folding skills are quite honed.

also the same crowd who will find heterim to permit the essential kol isha in IDF serices. this is getting better and better, no?

realist- whatever do you mean?

you help if your wife needs it. though i believe this sis a bit one-sided, as ive never heard of a woman helping to shlepp succah boards. and i do cook and wash dishes ans sponge every darn week. its tough- but the smile makes it worth it.

QB- from all my observations on this topic, sexism gets to be a weapon in the hands of women when they feel undervalued or are otherwise grumpy. the day that you start arguing that woman should shlepp luggage just like men do, build the sukkah like men do, take out the garbage like men do, and do any dirty hands on work in the house like men do, thats the day you can yell and kck and scream about the grievious injustices that men consistently inflict on women. this smacks of feminism, and though your indignance seems to be genuine, please realize what your really asking for.

the maaleh of texting is being able to direct a question to a female party without a five minute no tachlis shmooze b4. like ” ma pick up my pants from the cleaners please thanks bye” as opposed to wasting a bein hasdorim just to work up to that question on the phone.

ill second 80. seeing things sheloh kihalachah is bad. and i dont ascribe validity to certain “hashkafos” that the men who were the closest to Hashem of the last few generations discredited. im not saying id wanna live in meah shearim, but ill take it over times square.

when i was engaed i contemplated texting things i wouldnt say. i never did text. just contemplated. and im pretty darn frum. so it stands to reason that those who arent on the rightish wing of the spectrum would do more.