To be or not to be

My psychiatrist told me to listen to them, as they tell me to get organized and start packing for seminary.

I hate to break this to you but no one packs this early to go to seminary. you are supposed to run around like a maniac a day before you leave . that’s the rule!

It’s fine. Honestly, I wish I could read a book while driving… so why don’t you download some audiobooks and listen to them on your mp3? don’t get anything too exciting though..

would suggest, committing to at least 1 week of MMM and then come back and reassess. It’s a whole different tape from when you were a kid forget the story , just listen for the music! from the greatest jewish English song composer ever!!

I saw a sign at yoffees in monsey on top of the staircase going down to the basement. instead of saying CAUTION: low ceiling it says CAUTION: low expectations

is my pot pureed

try the heilege googler rebbe , I hear he gives lessons. or go to skver and ask them

My rule; don’t trust anyone who says he is a mekubal and asks for money, as for the purported “miracles” of these charlatans, you just hear the stories that are positive. As is the case by dubious diet plans and business gimmicks, you don’t hear about those who lost everything they owned, or got sick from a dangerous diet planbecause unlike positives , negatives aren’t as vocal in they’re negativity.

There is also ample evidence that these quacks, who are just there for your money, make things up as they go along such as the story where a guys son-in-law died and at the shiva, one of these phony imposters told him “I saw in heaven that it wasn’t a good match to which the father replied” when they got engaged you said that it is a good shidduch abd kicked him out of the house

there are numerous stories just like this one where one of these con artists were exposed as mountebanks and pretenders. they have no clue what they are talking about , and prey on small minded fools who are willing to believe all the drivel about amulets and kesuba reading (which has got to be the dumbest thing I have ever heard) STAY AWAY FROM THESE LOW LIFE FRAUDS!!!!

*Rant finally over*

The world to come and Gollum

Girl refusing a shidduch because boy is smarter

Separate seeding at weedings

For PF to Vicariously Rant Endlessly About the Over-Emphasis of onions through PAA

Don’t go with consensus. ask your LOR

The significance of it is that the moon is closer to the horizon. It may have an effect on tides but I’m not sure of that

anything from abie, the king of the English song. Or maybe Rabbi kunda, where they could have a blast trying to copy all the accents

From my experience, no internet safety plan is complete without A) someone else holding the filter password B) a reliable chavrusa program , where someone you respect sees every site and link you click on and last but most importantly C) you have to be honest with yourself and know 1) what is dangerous for you ( what are your pitfalls and weak points) and 2) always use your brain ad remember that you want to keep yourself and your home clean ,

About the pros and cons of each one, why don’t you contact TAG?

“No, I can’t. Guess I’m not on a high enough madreigoh.”

I just find it difficult to get emotional about something that happened 2,000 years ago. Sorry.

So can you maybe cry for that? the fact that you cant cry over the beis hamikdash? it is perfectly normal not to be able to cry for something that doesn’t touch you in some way, so maybe try crying because you don’t have what to cry about

The united states dropped bombs with a 200 foot kill zone. Meaning that basically everything within 200 feet will probably die. What do you think would happen if Israel would use those?

A man walks into a bar. Except it was a metal bar, like a pole. So he got hurt

There was a man from Dundee.

who’s limericks always ended on line three.

I don’t know why

Haikus are easy,

But sometimes they don’t make sense.

Refrigerator.

What did the polish guy, the Latino guy, and the Asian guy all have in common?

Believe it or not, they all liked cantaloupe.

Q: How many Jew does it take to change a light bulb?

A: A lightbulb cannot be changed, it either is or isn’t. Do you mean replace a burned-out bulb with a new one? With design, logistics, manufacturing, marketing of just that single bulb- there are many people involved. It could be argued that we all play some small part in the process

How did the fat guy survive the air crash?

He didn’t, he died like everyone else

Why didn’t the octopus have any friends?

Because they are antisocial creatures by nature

What do you get when you cross sodium citrate, citric acid, benzyl alcohol, monoethanolamine, sodium benzoate, gylcol disterate, FD&C Yellow #5, ammonium lauryl sulfate, methylisothiazolinone, fragrances/perfumes, FD&C Blue #1, sodium chloride, zinc pyrithione, methylchloroisothiazolinone, ammonium xylenesulfonate, ammonium laureth sulfate, cetyl alcohol, cocamide, guar hydropropyltrimonium chloride, 1-Decene, homopolymer, hydrogenated, trimethylolpropane tricaprylate and water?

Head & Shoulders Dandruff Shampoo for Fine-Oily Hair

what do you call a grammatically incorrect horse?

An horse

Whats green and has wheels?

Grass, I lied about the wheels.

A horse walked into a bar. Several people got up and left as they spotted the potential danger in the situation.

what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer?

we are both lawyers

A visibly exhausted and distressed man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink.

“Long day?” the bartender asks.

“No, all days are 24 hours long” the man replies, amazed at how uneducated the bartender is.

A duck walks into a bar, the bartender says, “What’ll it be?” The duck doesn’t say anything because its a duck.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

Where’s my tractor?

If life throws you melons, you might be dyslexic.

What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A horrible boating accident

When it comes to milk or meat general assuming, then yes

Google “Kosher Kush Cannabis” its officially “blessed by a rabbi”!! don’t know if it is pareve though

As a side note, when we use a white tablecloth in the sukkah, it attracts little flying insects that get onto our plates and into our food. When we use a dark tablecloth, we don’t have that problem.

No, you just cant see them 🙂

Jewish music, Montana (population 37,050) is located about halfway between settlers gulch, Montana and settlers end ,Idaho. its population increases to about 50,000 during the summer months, due to increased tourism

sorry I did not realize that my bump would be taken out of the very narrow context that I mentioned in my post. as some of you may know, I actually love boruch Levine’s style of music and did not mean to defame or besmirch him in any way shape or form . sorry if it came out that way

I don’t think it was you, I think it was everyone else -29

Another trip down memory lane

“amod chasan hatorah” is a useless song

isn’t his an apt username? of all the songs he chose as useless, he ended up choosing the one that became the most popular.

mentch tract un gut lacht

A brother-in-law maybe?