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Mazazl tov.
My advice is to listen to the advice that your spouse gives you, I mean the subtle an not so subtle things they tell you means something to them or bothers them and , remember it, use it.
Second, anytime you have a disagreement ( and you will disagree, because you come from two different worlds) remember not to escalate it into a fight. No argument needs to become a fight, but every argument can easily turn into a fight, how? By saying insensitive things. Think first,( the inspiration of my user name) will this bother me in two minutes in two days or two weeks? Is it worth getting argumentive over? Even the most hot topics can be discussed and sometimes argued in a civil way. As long as you don’t say something you’ll regret you’ll make up easily it’s a matter of time.
Last , you can never say a compliment too many times. It’s the glue the binds a happy marriage pour it on. Every day all the time.
I look around and I see no souls
But I know they’re still here
Two months gone by without a post
This thread is special better than most
It deserves some life a little spark
I can’t do everything but I can start
Hope you all doing alright dear poetry friends, I know I’ve been out for a while but I
Feel connected to this thread and even have some posts saved on my phone.
So this thread got revived from the dead.
2cents- a member of Chaverim can decide to forgo his charging the money especially when they weren’t called down but rather passed by to help, I would do the same and not charge. I’ve done that too but the policy is there’s a charge. Monsey has a 20 dollar charge too.
My Shver got me the oz vhadar medium (brown set) and its beautiful.
If I may add a new pshat you guys made me think more on the drush side: the pasuk reads “vsimach es ishto” and continues “Asher lakach” which simply means and he should make happy the wife that he took.
Or you may say Asher lakach refers to the fact that he took her, so he shall make her happy with the fact that he’s the one who married her, by being a good husband she will be happy that he married her.
It’s a shuttle bus like the ones you’ll see by the airports transporting to and from rental car companies, seats about 20 or so. Last I Checked it was approximately 20 dollars each way I don’t think children are cheaper.
1life– I am 1 of a very large family. One of my parents has had episodes of depression for many years and has been medicated for it. I can tell you that one can be a wonderful parent and spouse as long as they take the advice of their Dr and do what needs to be done.
I got into an accident one week before my wedding and could not move my neck an inch in either direction . I went to a chiropractor for one week straight and each day it healed a bit more.
I do have some that are better than others
If after a handful of dates you aren’t 100% positive that you want to spend the rest of your life with that person, raise a family with that person and be intimate, I don’t think that shows there is an issue with you. Rather it shows that perhaps the shiddych system is somewhat flawed.
POSTED 2 DAYS AGO #
WIY
Member
MorahRach
Many people aren’t 100% sure even after their wedding night. You hope you did the right thing and that Hashem led you to the right person.
I think both of you have some point, first there’s just no way you can ever (besides for all that fluffy happiness one feels when their engaged) date and know that you for sure want to spend the rest of your life with this person. Because there’s so much that you never experienced with this person that you will experience on daily basis for the test of your life. Living under the same roof. We tend to see a lot about a person on dates and what their character may be like buy you’ll never experience marriage with them until you’re married so yes there’s a jump that we all do. Some are all giddy during engagement and they forgot this part (which usually hits them during those last few days when they’re all nervous) and some actually think about it will we be a happy couple.
At the end even when your spouse is right for you,it’s all what you make of it.
POSTED 2 DAYS AGO #
I believe matza can do that for some people. Also depending on what type of maror you eat that can also play a role. I don’t have any advise thouhh
Hi everyone, came by to wish you all a wonderful yom tov.
Think first
By appreciating what you have
Calee
do you like him or do you like that other girls like him. Only the first will spell a happy marriage the second a disaster. Also girls generally flirt with guys that send out vibes that he’s accepting flirting, I think that’s something you may want to think about….. Do you want a guy who will adore you or who will b ate acing attention from other females?what syag mentioned should be a way for you to determine how you really feel about him.
when I was dating my wife, i remember that sometime when we werent together i felt that i wasnt sure. but when i was with her i was sure as anything. how do you feel when you are with him?
Ma’am are you listening …..because what you need to do now is to make sure the Shadchan knows where you stand and keep dating. It happens all the time that one datee is ready before the other that’s fine as long as each know where the other stands. Don’t be afraid to have him know where you stand, if he likes you he can wait a few more weeks for you feel like you want to marry him.
OOMIS_ ” We had wonderful Gedolim when I was growing up, Rav Moshe ZT”L for one. Shidduchim were not conducted as they are today”
Jew werent always as great as thier gedolim, and it wasnt ok just beacause there were gedolim.
for example, in the early part of this century sheitels were not very common even amongst “frum” non chsidish jews in america. was that ok? no but that was a nissaayon on the time. there were rabbi from yeshivas in new york who were seen with their wives on coney island on the beach in beach atire, was that ok?
Luv2bjewish– you’re first post is very vague about rules you mean, the only things you mention it is opening the door for her and going to manhattan.
Really? Is the world hung up on that?!? Are we really sooooo busy with that?!? I don’t think so. Maybe a single story here and there and yes on a date a girl mentioned to me about me not opening he door in a friendly way to which I responded that I thought it was strange to do to which she replied it doesn’t matter I like you anyway. These things don’t really make a difference if you guys like each other. (Btw I open the door for my wife all the time)
So go on a and date, be a mensch or a female mensch and stop worrying of we care abut silliness. Because it doesn’t matter what the world thinks it matters what you and your future date/spouse feel about each other.
A silly little nuance won’t stop a couple from liking each other.
Never to early to buy a never its actually a Segula for a long life. And yes we never know when our time expires so buy it while you can if you want to be buried In A specific place
Superme- has he physically abused you? Has someone else?
I was a good kid and we collected each year in a limo. My school allowed only limos as they’re drivers are safer and on Purim that’s important. Even sober drivers can be kind of wilder.
Those limos have in it whoever the group is. If its his good friends then you should t have a. Issue with it. Although you should talk to him about not smoking cigarettes some how on Purim it “ok”
Z.S.—- you want to know why someone that dosent stutter will want to marry someone that does. Well I don’t know but I know that my sister does not stutter and she married a boy that does and they’re happily married. Hashem creates an attraction between a boy and a girl that are meant for each other and that attraction makes all these things your thinking of go away. No one is perfect! Even if you don’t see their imperfection, so rest assured you’ll fund your zivug and when someone says no to you, remember they’re not for you.
The one that will marry you and love you will even love your stutter.
Remember that same Hashem that created you created your stutter and created your zivug.
May you find your zivug b’shaah tova umutzlachas.
Steven Friedman (212) 729-7540 or (845) 371-9015 most amazing frum therapist who specializes in addiction.
Call him. You didn’t create the problem, you can’t control it and you can’t fix it. Your husband can get fixed with Stevens help. Many have.
I don’t think Wednesday night is a good night for a bath, uncle Isadore!
He bit off my foot , he but off my leg( lots of sounds) he’s a carnivorous I telya!
I told you Wednesday night wast a good time for a bath,
Heshy!!
I’m sorry mama.
Awsome!!!!
There was a fellow who travelled to eretz Yisroel and visited Reb shach for a Bracha, he asked where do you live? The man replied I Live in Monsey. Rav shach looked at him and asked why do you have to come to me when you have R Modche Schwab in Monsey?
..swim
.. Appointment with a client
.. Quality family time
.. Hike
..nap shabbos afternoon
..run
..hour straight of learning
..swim
.. Appointment with a client
.. Quality family time
.. Hike
..nap shabbos afternoon
..run
..hour straight of learning
The wax museum,Madamme tousadds. although I should say that it is mostly Hollywood stars so if you’re not comfortable with that It’ll be an awkward date.
Notasheep- sure
Hi poetry friends I just wanted to stop by and express my appreciation for all of you. I’ll be getting married iyh soon and I was just looking back on some poems I wrote a few months back and how you all responded so encouragingly, thank you all. I feel like I have gained so much from all of you. You guys got me through some tough times.
I wanna shout out to some of the poets from my times here…
Middle path
Says me
Bla bla
ProcessEagle
Observanteen
Puppy
Syag
Bygirl93
Nomtw
And anyone else that I may have missed…..
Hope you guys are doing alright, and I wish the best for you all.
I’ll have all of you in mind in my teffilos. ( Hashem knows you by your username too)
Thanks icot for posting my mazal tov here.
P.s. it should say “his” engagement though.
Here I go- your poem shows real emotion and uncertainess. It seems you are looking for that special guy who in your words “I want a partner that shares my goals
of growing and reaching higher…”
Stop looking for the gadol hador, and look for what you want. It’s your life, you seem like you put thought into life and what you would be comfortable with, you don’t look forward to supporting your family single handedly. So don’t look for someone where that will be your role. Look for the type of guy you’ll be happy with and dont think about what people will think or say because that lasts a few minutes and your spouse, a lifetime. Follow your heart on this one. If you’re wondering though, is it possible for me marry a man that has an appreciation for Torah, Halacha and hashkafa and will also be able to support me one day while I care for my children? The answer is that it exists. You can marry a man who will have all that and support you too.
He’ll……
Love you
Care for you
Care for your children
Support your family financially
Learn torah
Instill good hashkafa in your home
Be the role model for your children
Be a growing man
Be your partner in life
Be the protector of your home
You can marry someone where …
” I want a partner that shares my goals
of growing and reaching higher…”
…….will be true
But he may not be a Rosh Yeshiva…
Jewishness- there are different types of shmuzers and the way to deal with them varies. There are those that will talk only until asked to to stop and they really don’t want to make a scene either so when asked they stop They will.There’s another type that I call the “addicted shmuzer” usually it’s someone who doesn’t have an appreciation for davening, kedushas beis medrash and authority in general. This addicted shmuzer needs to feel something when he come to shul, he doesn’t get that feeling from davening so he get his fix from the only way he knows how to; shmuz, hock, looking at others and taking about anything. I mean it’s a sight to see! There’s a shul in Lakewood where I daven from time to time and this type of shmuzer “shmuzes” there I can’t say he davens there. I mean he’ll even shmuz with children! Any type of shmuzing stimulation is alright for him. Everytime I see it my blood boils. The Rav seems to ignore it maybe because this guy pays his salary and it’s a tough spot for him. Enough ranting, if your shmuzer is the second guy I destribed, theres nothing you can do besides kick him out of the shul. It won’t change. Nada. He needs his fix.
You really don’t explain your question very well, what do you mean?
Yehudayona- the chofetz Chaim lists all mitzva that we can do while in galus without a Bais hamikdosh. Yes , you can do yibum without a Bais hamikdosh, but you can’t bring bikkurim. Now it’s true that the minhag is that we choose Chalitza instead if yibum today and honestly I’m not sure how long that goes back however the point is thats it’s doable in galus.
Careful how you speak about a gadol hador!
Romney is someone that seems like he would do what he plans. Obama, on the other hand talked and talked about change if you remember and boy did he change this country for the worse! So if you care any about your country stay away from a man who is in the prosecess of really messing it up.
EzrasHashem- yes his demeanor was condescending and his behavior was childish. Laughing when his opponent is proving a point with facts, and dismissing it saying “never happened!”. It’s a real shame, last nights debate showed us who we’ve had as vice president for the last four years. And when he said ” are you gonna take all four minutes?” what?!?! Are you an adult?
No further comments.
Thanks kapusta, I enjoyed it very much!
Hey everyone! I’d like to wish you all a wonderful shana tova a year that will be a happy, fruitful, successfull year where we can achieve and become the best we can be filled with happiness and contentment.
I miss you all, I miss being here and I forget not the strength you’ve given me.
Think first.
Yentingyenta- I had worked with lots of goyim and this worked well for me. “please understand out of respect to women people in my community don’t shake hands with the opposite gender other than close family”
You’ll be shocked at the responses. C’mon, everyone knows what goes in the world out there, it all starts with touch, and our Torah which understands the human better than anything lhavdil has created guidelines for us not to come to an aveira c”v.
A little story. My friends father is a very well to do business man. One day he had to meet with some people and the leader amongst them was a woman. There was a very large deal they would discuss. The woman walked in and stretched out her hand to shake his. He calmy said, “out of respect to women I don’t shake hands with women other than close family”. This woman was so impressed with his commitment to his religion that she did the business deal with him. You don’t lose when you do the right thing and explain yourself so they understand, and youll be surprised how they will respect you for adhering to your beliefs.
Just wanted to let my poetry friends know that I got engaged, mazal tov! I wish all of you the same if your still looking for that special mate and to those who have found him/her may you be happy with one another forever.
I think it’s fine because at the end of the day if he meets a girl that he likes they may just get married so.
Commonsence- as a man I can tell you that this has happened to me similarly. It’s weird. But hey.
I know the guy who started it and that story that “interjection” mentioned is accurate.
If you don’t want to continue, say thank you have a good night. It’s important not to say something that leads ur date to think you enjoyed if you didnt, at the same time one should be respectful.
If you enjoyed, tell ur date! “hey I just want you to know that I really enjoyed spending time with you” or in your own words.. Point is if you enjoyed tell them so they know, this helps decisions and it’s more personal than hearing it from the Shadchan “he/she enjoyed the date.”
I’d love to meet one I really would, I feel that I’ll only get stronger from it in my Emunah. I have when talking to Jews who unfortunately have left their beliefs behind for a life of ” do the right thing and be nice to people” so I can’t wait but so far have never met them.
Plus hours of tapes by rabbi mechanic is waiting to go to use.
Just wanted to plug project inspire here after seeing an amazing presentation this afternoon. We really can do so much by just saying hello.
Anyone here saw it?
Enjoying every moment
Jumping into a filth pit and acting nicely isn’t at all a kiddush Hashem. We aren’t supposed to have representatives amongst the lowest creatures of society. Celebrities. Yes they are the ones that continue to degrade the level of respect that Americans have had for themselves for many years. If you think I’m crazy take a look at a picture of participants at Yankee stadium in the 20’s and compare it to today, you’ll be shocked. Point is celebrities are filth covered in run foil and that’s not where a Jew is supposed to be handing out.
I’ve met an ex family member and we talked a bit. I did notice he was uncomgortabe talking to me so I cut it short.
Ex spouse: I wouldn’t acknowledge their presence . She don’t want to talk to me neither do I want to talk to her so what’s the point?
Song- if your question is how do you know you’re ready to start dating? Then my answer from my experience is when you feel the pull to get married again. Personally for quite some time after I divorced I didn’t want to hear about marriage. You really have to feel comfortable enough to start. I must say though that after the first post divorce date I felt even more ready,so start when you feel you want to remarry? Yes, and you may feel more excited about dating once you start. I did.
If your question was how do you know you’re ready to marry the person you are dating? Then I’ll say the following: there’s really no difference in dating round one or round two at its core, you are meeting someone to see whether they may be someone you can relate to, talk with, enjoy their company, share common goals, have a liking for each other, physically attracted to one another etc. that what dating is all about isn’t that true? Obviously you may have priorities more clarified to you now based on your past experience and honestly when I got divorced I learned a lot about myself in a positive way, and I have a clearer picture of whom I’d like to marry. So, to answer this question: when you’ve met someone you really like and enjoy and they make you feel good about yourself and you feel like you want to see them when their not with you and this person shares your dreams and goals, then you’re ready to get married to this person.
I hope this helps you in you quest to find your zivug, may Hashem give you clarity in your search and to myself and all those in the same boat.