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BH my daughter and her friends were not locked inside, with the key thrown away. But she stopped riding a bike before bas mitzva. Not all activities are not allowed because of just a pure tzniyus issue. Some things are just not activities for a bas yisroel. Sure you’ll find many sectors of klal yisroel that would argue with this. But these same sectors also argue against “only” cholov yisroel, and some sectors argue for pants and who needs sheitels. Not every sector agrees what a chumrah is or what the normal derech hachaim should be. Are sheitels a chumrah? Is cholov yisroel a mere chumrah?
‘Says Who’ – No. Good bochurim will not go OTD from just bad images. If their basic family life and if their peer support is good, they will generally do teshuva and thats the end. I said that bad images are a catalyst to a process. If a chemical catalyst has nothing to work with, it won’t begin a chemical process. Kids who have problems will be exacerbated by this stuff. The answer is not assering internet, that can’t be done. That approach is obviously bankrupt, it hasn’t worked at all, no matter what the establishment gedolim have done. The answer to any educational problem is education. Explaining the dangers, telling them horror stories. even naming names if need be. The kids should understand clearly that there are dangers. A good educator can tell on a kid what’s going on inside. Every kid has hot steam inside. If its channeled to Torah, then the kid becomes Torah’dik. If not, the kid starts cooking with Yetzer Hora. If you see a kid who is not cooking Torah, then this kid must be given a vent for the steam. The answer is kosher vents. Some outside educational study that will keep the mind busy. Then the kid will be able to do both – Torah study and anything else. There’s a huge fallacy being callously spread in our community. That all our boys are top of the line and the girls want them. And that means that if at 15 a boy realizes he isn’t top of the line, this boy is now at risk. Because all he hears from rebbeim and roshei yeshiva is that the tachlis is to be top of the line. And if you aren’t, then you aren’t good. Hey thinks the boy, if I’m not good anyway, what do I care. Add in some disaffected attitude at home, some inappropriate internet and bingo OTD. On the other hand, give this boy a reason to think that he can become a great baal habos, and you haven’t lost him. Education people that’s the answer to it all. And our “educators” don’t get it.
A very respected Israeli professor once had a discussion with the previous Gerrer Rebbe Pnei Menachem ztzl about this issue. The professor asked the Rebbe, why do chareidi Jews have such a strong opposition to pictures of women not completely dressed? You must be very perverted if you have bad thoughts. That never happens to me. The Rebbe answered him. Can you walk bare foot in the desert? The prof answered, no, the hot sand would burn my feet. Asked the Rebbe, but the Arabs have no problem walking in the hot desert sands? The prof answered, that’s because their feet have become so hardened and used to it. My feet are sensitive. Said the Rebbe, yes and that’s how your soul has become, hardened and insensitive to inapproriate pictures, while the souls of chareidi yidden are sensitive to this.
Everyone knows that these pictures corrupt a person’s mind and soul. How anyone can say that it doesn’t is beyond me. I guess their souls have also become so used to this that they are hardened and insensitive. I for one would not hold myself proud that these pictures have no effect.
These kids don’t break away from yiddishkeit only due to inappropriate pictures. But it starts the ball rolling. It’s a catalyst for disaster. It makes the soul insensitive to yiddishkeit and a fertile breeding ground for the Yetzer Hora.
I am a talmid of Reb Yakov. Although not that close to have heard every comment Reb Yakov ever made, I still would have heard about that comment. I never heard about it. What I did hear was that Reb Yakov said NOT to take the JP into the bathroom because it had divrei Torah in it.
Shabbos reading should be stuff like Klei Yokor, Ramban, Lev Eliyahu, Medrash, Malbim on the Haftorah. Maybe say a sefer Tehilim.
Hamodia is the only Jewsh-English newspaper that prints all the current news that can be read by a Torah home, with dozens of very apropos topics geared to a Torah home. Hamodia is generally above sectarian bisa, printing objective stories with equal emphasis on all segments of the Yiddishe English-speaking communities. The best proof is the marketplace. Hamodia has the most sections and pages, with the most advertising. Reason – because it is the most popular. Reason – because Hamodia is the best. The other two, although quite decent papers, are basically single issue papers with a limited readership, not the broadly accepted readership of the Hamodia.
Rav Yakov Kaminetsky ztzl personally told me and several other bochurim that pizza is pas habo bekisnin. He said that one slice is mezonos if eaten without anything else. If you’re eating something else, even if not directly with the pizza, then its all mitztaref. In this case you must wash and make a motzi. Two slices is always hamotzi. This was before frozen pizza. Frozen pizza is often made by semi baking the dough, making it into bread with the requirement of hamotzi, then adding sauce and cheese, which does not make it into pas habo bekisnin. Also, and this is important, square pizza is always half baked first and then sauce and cheese so its always a motzi. Rov poskim rishonim and achronim do not agree with the Mogen Avrohom and say that any type of covering or filling is pas habo bekisnin. By the way, kokosh cake has the same halochos as pizza because the kokosh cake dough is kneaded, made into isoh, not just mixed like cake batter. Which means if you eat a piece of kokosh cake at a shabbos kiddush and then eat cake and crackers and kugel and chulent, you have to bentch.
Seeker I think you must be mixing up the Hungarians with Gerrer women. The vast majority of Gerrer women do not wear long sheitels. The majority do not wear 4 inch high heels, in fact I don’t think any do. Almost all the young women, under 30, are teachers in various schools. The general Gerrer female population do not work in office atmospheres but rather in yeshivos and Bais Yakovs teaching or in the school office, a much better atmosphere than business offices. I haven’t seen a single negative comment here that even comes close to being factual. It’s very easy to make up canards regarding anybody. Try to back it up with facts, you won’t be able to. If Gerrer women were really unhappy, why are Gerrer bochurim not having any problems getting married? Why are almost every girls’ class in the Gerrer Bais Yakov engaged within 2 years? There are over 600 Gerrer families. I challenge you to find 5 women who aren’t dressed according to ultra-orthodox criteria of tzinius.
Actually there are 2 concepts of so-called bashert in marriage. There’s the normal concept of bashert as meaning destined for you only. As the Gemora says, 40 days before yetziras havlad, they call out in Heaven, bas ploni l’ploni. The second concept is that of merit, who the two of you deserve. The Gemora says on this that it means for a 2nd zivug. That said, sometimes a 1st shidduch can happen, because that’s what Hashem wants or because one of the pair poshut prayed hard enough, that isn’t bashert as being destined but rather according to the spiritual status of the two individuals. And sometimes its the 2nd zivug that is the bashert one. We don’t know. All we can do is be maaminim bnei maaminim and have faith that Hashem will send the right zivug to each of us. In any case, as has been said here, each individual should always try the utmost to be reasonable and kind to their spouse. That will generally work out quite favorably. The main thing is not so much is it bashert but rather is it working as a yiddish family should be working.
Yes even vodka, try it. Whiskey stains, vodka does not. That is pure vodka, not the flavored kind.
Interesting to note that in choshen mishpat on gezel akum, on the side, the maharam m’rottenberg paskins that to’ois akum or a mistake that a goy makes, is also ossur. this is the same maharam who was imprisoned and died in jail and wasn’t allowed kevura. He witnessed many atrocities against Jews yet when it came to halocho, he paskined objectively.
Any liquid except for seltzer will stain if it gets on your clothes. All liquids pill with the same statistical factors. Pure not from consentrate orange juice and lemon juice and vinegar will destroy cars and carpets quicker than coke.
Interesting questions. Something wrong with being typical? Is there a huge “at risk or almost at risk” problem, sure is. Are they pained, both the kids and the parents. Very Pained. Many of the kids feel guilty about it. They stay off drech almost off derech or whatever due to peer pressure or being ashamed to go back, or they talk themselves into thinking, nah i’m really cool about this. 40-50 years ago, the “typical” yeshiva boy bais yakov girl didn’t even think about an issue called “typical”. We were all typical. Sure there were kids who went off, but nobody felt it was a pandemic issue. Today it is. Why, I think partly because of the public viewpoint that these kids were “turned off” by something. Not always. Many kids actually were never “turned on”. The yetzer hora sees a kid who has no really special reason for staying frum other than everybody he/she knows is frum, and their parents want them to be frum. A child must be turned on to yiddishkeit. That’s the whole idea of chinuch. Physical Nature abhors a vacuum. Spiritual Nature does too. If there’s no kedusha rushing in to a person’s psyche, then the yetzer hora has no problem sending in tumah. The yetzer hora is full of ideas, all tailored to each individual’s needs and sensitivities. Torah and yiddishkeit must be made fun and interesting to young children. The various tapes and cd’s that tell stories and make brochos etc fun are wonderful. The Pesach seder is all about teaching the children. If you’re old enough to ask all these questions, then you’re old enough to try to pick yourself up. Be “typical”. Typical black hat, typical whatever, just be a typical yiddish kid. Nothing wrong with that.
Be Happy – Weird minhagim? I’m a Gerrer all my life, my father and grandfather too. I really can’t think of any weird minhagim that we have. Unless the very dangerous minhag of a special kesher in the palm made with the tefilin shel yad that I know nobody else makes. That can really turn off people from yiddishkeit. And of course there’s the extremely well known weird minhag of learning an hour shabbos morning between shachris and leining. Now that minhag is truly terrible. Oh yes and of course everybody knows that ger hardly davens on rosh hashono and yom kippur. So Be Happy, any other weird stuff we do? Unless you’re talking about the “minhagim” that the Rambam brings as halocho and Shulchan Orech too and many many other sifrei kodesh.
The “official” Conservative position on halocho is that we, meaning “rabbis” in the year 5771/2010, can change halocho because they allege that Rabbi Akiva and colleagues were able to. As they say in yiddish, sheine tzu shtel. The Rabbinical Assembly has a council of 25 voting rabbis who can change halocho, and they do. 5 non-voting lay members and 1 non-voting cantor. I have this strange feeling that if Chazzan Helfgott, arguably quite an outstanding cantor, an avowed Gerrer chosid (wears full Gerrer regalia always) would come to the rebbe and say that he thinks we should change the “minhag” (sic) of not watching TV on shabbos if it goes on with a clock, the rebbe may likely throw him out. But in the Rabbinical Assembly they listen to that cantor as a man of serious learning and knowledge. Hey, maybe he is. Rabbi Cynical keeps on saying that they uphold halocho. Yeah sure, but whose definition of halocho, Shulchan Orech authored by the Beis Yosef and annotated by Shach, Taz, Bach, Mogen Avrohom et al. Or the definition as promulgated by the Rabbinical Assembly.
We don’t have to argue with Cynical about which particular halocho he holds or doesn’t or which the Official Conservative poition holds what. Go into the Official Conservative website and go to their Halacho Council which “decides” what the halochos should be or how to change them. Sure they all believe in 613 mitzvos. Of course there is a mitzva of Zochor es yom hashabbos and an lav of Shomor es yom hashabbos. But if you’re going to a Yankees game at 6:30 Friday night in August, then it’s not so bad if you drive back home (shomor)or you don’t make kiddush (zochor) or your wife lights candles at 11:30 PM Friday night. Hey Cynical, please tell me I’m not right. But if you do, I will call you a liar because that is the official position of the Conservative movement. Maybe it’s not your official position but it is theirs. And I can always say, nesei sefer vo’nechse. Let’s go look it up in your Halocho Council’s announcements of “psak halocho”. Rough estimate please Rabbi Cynical, how many Conservative males above 13 wear tefilin every day, every day, not just sometimes. How many females practice taharas ha’mishpocho. And you say of course we believe in 613 mitzvos. I’m not getting into any discussions about abortion beliefs or conversion practices. My examples/questions are mainstream yiddishkeit issues. Can you honestly call yourself even Traditional if you don’t put on tefilin each and every day? Are you traditional if your wife never goes to the mikva? No sir, you are not traditional. And if you don’t keep these 2 mitzvos, nor are you “quite” shomer shabbos, then what are you? Being an avid fan of ahavas yisroel is really great but that alone doesn’t make you a traditional Jew.
Shlomo meets a kollel yungerman and asks him, what do you do? Yungerman, I’m a programmer. Really, asks Shlomo, what kind? Oh says yungerman, all kinds of programs, Section 8, WIC, food stamps, Medicaid.
Seems all of you must be under 40 or so. Nobody ever heard of raisin wine? You took regular raisins and soaked in plain water for several days. Don’t recall the exact halocho shiur, I think 5 days. The resulting liquid is a bona fide bore pri hagofen and if made kosher for pesach, can be used for kiddush and arba kosos. Back before the 60’s, many people made riaisn wine, or in yiddish called rozenke vein, because they simply could not afford regular wine. If a doctor tells you that you should not drink wine, or any alcoholic beverage, then you don’t. Not even for kiddush or arba kosos. You are oveir v’nishmartem es nahshoseichem and you havent been mekayeim the mitzva.
WIY thank you so much for a very correct comment. All those alleged sringent rules that Ger has during marriage, Skver and Belz and Viznitz et al, have the same rules. For all of you who think Ger discriminates against women, go to New Square and you’ll see what real discrimination means. Ger in Israel do not have those rules. Gerrer don’t talk to women in the street? That’s not a Gerrer rule, the majority of chasidim don’t talk to women in the strret. By the way, that happens to be a clear mishna in Pirkei Ovos. Officially as Didu states, Gerrer rules are pretty much normal rules of the majority of chasidim. By majority I mean the chasidim who walk in the path of pre-WW2 European life. Sure you’ll find dozens of “chasidic” garbed couples acting very much out of ruling. But the official stance of whatever sect they belong to does not sanction their behavior at all. Pick any sect. Satmar, Belz, Pupa, Viznitz, to name some Hungarian sects. Non sanction open mixing of couples in the street. Their rules in all aspects of married life are just about the same as the “official” rules of Ger. We have a huge problen in Ger. It’s called lousy PR. We are so elitist that we couldn’t care less what the world says about us. And the world kind of doesn’t like Ger. Partly because of our elitist attitude, partly from jealousy because Ger is an Israeli political powerhouse. There are many websites that demean Ger constantly. Being quite literate, I have often written comments defending Ger vociferously, only to find that the editors wouldn’t publish my defensive comments, themselves being virulently anti-Ger. Walk in Boro Park and you’ll see hundreds of men not walking directly with their wives, very obviously not Gerrer. And you’ll see dozens of Gerrer walking with their wives. Try a little v’ohavtem es ha-Ger.
The Gerrer Rebbe Beis Yisroel ztzl had a daily minhag of hachnosas orchim. He would send someone down to the beis medrash to see who’s there and then call up people to his room for tea and milk. The Rebbe served the tea and milk himself.
Rav Aron Kotler ztzl kept mostly the minhagim of the Vilner Gaon except one. The Vilner Gaon had only 2 matzos at the seder; Rav Aron had 3 matzos. When asked why he answered, because that was the minhag of my father. Charlie you are so right. Tradition is just about all that has kept the Jewish nation alive all these years. And the sad part of American Judaism is that it’s mostly about doing whatever feels good or right. The secular Jews all say that Judaism is so wonderful because it’s flexible, you can do whatever you feel like doing. We know that it isn’t so, Shulchan Orech rules. Plus the accepted minhagim of each community or sect or sector.
Wolf if one has no mesora, then one has a severe problem going beyond mixing minhagim. The only ones who wouldn’t have mesora are converts or BTs who’s family has been so far away from yiddishkeit that they can’t recall any customs.
Mixing minhagim isn’t beautiful at all. You can be left with basically nothing. Nisht aheen and nisht ahehr. Maintaining minhag avos is a posuk, al titosh toras imecho. Rav Yitzchok Weiss ztzl even paskined that this means not to change the pronunciation of davening from chasidish to litvish or to sfardit.
As Rav Hutner ZT’L used to point out – every utensil in the Bais HaMikdash had some kind of Avodah done with it. Except the Aron. The Aron did nothing but exist. The Aron represents the Talmid Chachom, the container of the Torah. It does not need to do any act. Its very presence is its success.
Absolutely true, well known concept. I understand very well that not every bochur is up to learning full time or rosh yeshiva or mechanech material. I’d never argue that they aren’t worty. Just as all the keilim of the beis hamikdosh were holy. But the concept of ben torah does have the cahet of being special. The infntry foot soldier would never say that he is a general. He is needed, the general, great as he may be, can’t function without a foot soldier. But still, he is the general. Mahn malka rabbonon.
Interesting question cause it’s amazingly apropos to me right now. We just said no to a shidduch for our daughter because all the information we received said the same thing. Great boy, baal midos, but he isn’t a “learner”. To me this means he isn’t a ben torah. What’s a ben torah? BP Totty comment: “Who among us is not in favor of long-time learning? I’ve been “out of yeshiva” for more than 20 years, yet still learn.”
Ben Torah comment: “There are tons more good reasons — like the effect it has on your home, on your Mitzvah performance, on your personality, on your children — all of which are excellent reasons.”
Jewish customs in general are often hard to find the source or figure out the reasoning. But Jewish foods for Shabbos and YomTov seem to have a certain kedusha to them. If everybody eats chicken soup, with or without veggies, then obviously it has some holy cachet to it.
Bomb guy you’re beautiful.
Sacrilege
Truth is that you’re making traditional foods in a non-traditional way so who cares as long as everybody enjoys it.
At my firm’s mincha minyan we have about 10-20 people. Last year one of the associates, who isn’t at all frum, lost a parent and started coming to mincha for kaddish. He’s past the yaer but still comes almost every day. This is most certainly his only tefila each day yet he comes. BH we convinced him, you never know.
Why don’t you go to Eichlers and browse around the various books until you find one that you’re comfortable with and learn that.
Every shabbos food has a source in a spiritual concept, either to remind us or to act as a catalyst. The hot foods we eat on shabbos day are to show the tzedokim that we are permitted to have a fire in our house, as long as we don’t actually do anything with it on shabbos. Some foods are particular to a former land where we lived, such as Poland or Hungary or Syria. Syrians make the hot shabbos food from rice and chickpeas and call it “chamin” or hot. Polish use potatoes and Hungarians use beans. The concept is to eat a food that’s been cooking until shabbos lunch. But as was mentioned, maybe you always had lousy food. So let’s hear your twists? Maybe we can tweak your twists.
WIY Excellent!!!!!!!
I think that one aspect is missing. Speakers usually discuss the idea of Tolerance when talking about achdus. Being able to tolerate each others quirks and ideas. That’s totally wrong. The idea is to have Understanding. Tolerance means that you’re wrong, you stink, but I’m so good that I can Tolerate you. That’s not the beginning of achdus. Understanding means that I have my shita and you have yours and although our shitas don’t agree, I understand where you come from and why you feel that way. That’s achdus. And achdus is realizing that klal yisroel was divided by Hashem into 12 separate but equal tribes or mini-nations because that’s what He wanted.
Five Seven and Five
Hardly meaningless at all
Japanese had a mesora
The total is seventeen
Which totals Tov for Good
Good are Torah haikus
Japan is gashmiyus
They write of earthly beauty
Torah is our reality
Japan used the haiku
To instill their idea of Joy
Joy is Torah study
Friday Erev Shabbos
Smell Challah and Chulent
Smelled galler yesterday
Lech LeCho for your sake
Masei ovos siman labonim
We too can do good
Offer chulent to
that stranger in shul
the galler too
Yitzchok was laughter
His Arab brother was too
What is the difference
Yitz laughed at the soton
Arab laughed with the soton
Simcha kills the soton
Simcha shel mitzvos
Simcha of the shabbos day
Good Galler can help
Citi will rise once more
Use your profits to buy flanken
Great in the chulent
The change in name from Shemone Esrei to Amidah is because this tefila is the Amidah tefila, the one tefila that mandates standing. The name shemone esrei, although used even for the shabbos and yom tov amidah tefila, is obviously only for the weekdays. So to make the name consistent always, the newer siddurim put in amidah
Coffee room break is for
a cuppa brewed hot and strong
i take red milk too
No coffee brewed drink
coca cola nothing else
will do, pepper oy vey
Coffee break over or
else not so good to hear
who would pay my rent
Citi stocks for real
low price the bad advice
will rise stick around
My wife attended two seminaries, Bais Yakov in Montreal one year and then Esther Schonfeld in NY a second year. Result? Could quote the Ramban any day but had no idea how to cook water for coffee, literally couldn’t. Within 3 years she was an outstanding cook by reading cookbooks. Result? Was able to learn with our children and eduacte them the 1st years of their lives; and she can bake a better cheesecake than any Satmar girl steeped in Home Economics with no idea why we take arba minim on succos.
As Citigroup plunges
I load up on four dollar shares
to sell later for ten
Citigroup has plunged ere to
now, for reasons various
only to rise anew
Government cashing in
on profits slowly accreted
its ours now to hold
Squeaky haikus are entertaining
dont stop now while you’re ahead
it even sounds smart
Character traits you have
maybe not your strong forte
but its good enough
Vocal cords are useful
for human communication vital
too bad some have them
Participation is essential
if as a human you interact
intelligently with others
While it’s true that the majority of girls attending seminary won’t become full time teachers , not life career teachers anyway, the reason for seminary existence is to give the girls an additional shot of immersion in Torah and yiddishkeit. These are the essentials of a yiddish family today, in the 21st century. We don not live in Europe. And in Europe before WW2 the gedolim foresaw the need for a bais yakov type of education. I said this earlier in this thread. The girls are the ikeres habayis. They are the ones who will be showing their children how to grow up as Torah true yidden. The little boys and girls don’t see their fathers davening. They do see the mother davening at home. The mother helps them with their yiddish homework. What’s the use of a fantastic cheesecake with zebra effects on it if the wife/mother has no appreciation for learning developed by her high school and seminary studies? Yes to some extent seminary is the 13th grade of high school. But it’s the capstone to their learning. It’s the foundation stone to their Torah and yiddishkeit life.
Seems like they used to do that during the beis hamikdosh. on Tu B’Av. You can’t do that today with all the machmir and more machmir going on. You have any idea how this would look? Bais Yakov girls and yeshiva boys in a parking lot? Anyway the coed schools do that and it don’t work too good for them. Let’s go back to bad idea.
The hotplate is not considered to be a kadeira type of heat source. It’s a real fire covered with a blech. Since the whole surface is the same hot temperature, you can’t put anything on it on shabbos to warm. It’s not like a regular blech on a stove range where the fire is only in an area and the outer edges are not directly fire heat.
Jews can’t do Haiku
Unless they can figure out
how to feel guilty
My thoughts are far away
forming salami sammich and coke
olam hazeh is good
More fires have arisen from a blech than from a hotplate. Let’s rather stop using a blech since its so dangerous. More people die in bed than from driving race cars. Let’s all sleep in race cars. Thousands of families use hotplates on shabbos. You must be careful just like any type of potentially dangerous object with very useful purposes.
Traditional Haiku in Japanese is written in a single vertical line with seventeen sound units or mora (not strictly the same as syllables) in a rhythm of five, seven, and five. In English (a stressed language), the ideas can be expressed with a short line, a long line, and another short stack. Sometimes, haiku can turn out very bad and cheesy. Pick a good topic.
Chat posts can be fun
If comments are in good taste
Yeah so sue me
Recently a rosh yeshiva said on a bochur who had told him that G-d is bad, this bochur is at least a maamin. He truly believes in Hashem. He just has teinis against Him.
Bad news if a yeshiva or bais yakov requires internet usage to complete assignments.
I just heard about a famous rosh yeshiva who overheard a bochur saying, I think Hashem’s bad. The rosh said, I haven’t met a maamin like him in years. At least he believes that there’s a G-d.
WIY yeah I think you may be right. Avramel has an amazing voice range. Several years ago he introduced MBD at a concert. He said, a voice like Mordechai’s comes once in a generation. But why in my generation?
I’ll say it again. An All-Star is a singer who sells. Who cares whether a voice critic thinks a voice is great or not. If he sells thousands of CDs and can get thousands of dolars for a concert or chasuna, then he’s an all-star.