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Popa
As someone else mentioned, you did not post whether you are O positive or O negative. I’m going to assume you are O positive since that blood type is pretty common. In that case, you CANNOT give blood to O negative, A negative, B negative, or AB negative! So there! So much for being able to give blood to everyone…….
(If you’re O negative, then u have my most sincere apologies) 🙂
“Health: I think your issue is that you seem to view almost any type of disagreement as degrading and a personal attack.”
+1
No one attacked you, Health. Somehow you seem to view whatever anyone’s says to you as an “attack” and then boy, do you attack back, when there was no need or reason in the first place.
Do you EVER have anything nice to say, Health?
OP
Here is what I found online:
“Recognizing Abuse
It may sound strange, but people sometimes have trouble recognizing that they are being abused. Recognizing abuse may be especially difficult for someone who has lived with it for many years. A person might think that it’s just the way things are and that there’s nothing that can be done. People who are abused might mistakenly think that it’s their fault for not doing what their parents tell them, breaking rules, or not living up to someone’s expectations.
Growing up in a family where there is violence or abuse can make a person think that is the right way or the only way for family members to treat each other. Somebody who has only known an abusive relationship might mistakenly think that hitting, beating, pushing, shoving, or angry name-calling are perfectly normal ways to treat someone when you’re mad.
Seeing parents treat each other in abusive ways might lead a child to think that’s OK in relationships. But abuse is not a typical or healthy way to treat people.”
Please, please do something about this, OP. Your children do not deserve to live a life filled with terror, not knowing when their Tatty will snap.
To those who say maybe he’s just depressed -it is NOT ok for him to hit his kids that way that leave those type of marks. It is NEVER ok to do that. And the OP wrote that this is not the first time.
OP -I feel terrible for you, but YOU are the one that has the power to protect your children from physical abuse. Your kids are just children and they are relying on their mommy to help them. Your kids do not deserve to be treated this way. I don’t know if they will forgive you down the road if you did not do your all to help them.
I think you should take pba’s advice and call the Shalom task force ASAP. I’m not saying something can never be worked out, but maybe your husband needs a really strong reality check, such as you taking the kids & leaving -at least temporarily & seeing if he is willing to go to therapy.
Another thing is if you have a Rav that you trust (not necessarily your husbands Rav) I would call him as well and speak to him about the situation.
Hatzlocha
To Kapusta, BPT, Oomis, Middlepath & Aries
For your always thoughtful, well written posts
To The Goq & squeak
For your sense of humor
The Wolf
I don’t know why. I just like your posts.
To Avrum in MD
Your level headed-ness (is that a word?) & style of writing
To allgr8, cofeefan, rebbetzin & PrincessEagle
For the inspiration you give me from your posts on the diabetes thread
MiddlePath
I’ve been on the receiving end of insults/name calling by a poster, and what I realized (after trying to reason in a respectful way) is that you cannot change someone else. You can only work on yourself and how you respond to others.
My advice? Don’t even read those posters posts, and never respond to anything they write. Just make believe it isn’t there. That’s what I do, because when I read them, it just makes me sick.
You sound like an amazing caring person, MP, from the posts I’ve seen. Just keep on being the person you are!
Ok, Health, forget it, I give up. You obviously are not getting the point that everyone here is trying to explain to you. Like another poster stated, you are picking apart everyone’s posts and commenting on certain statements, but missing the whole point.
I wish you much hatzlacha.
Health,
“It’s not that you just posted w/o thinking -it’s that people will believe it. So sometimes people need to be told off.”
What??
I didn’t want to post here again, but do you understand what you are writing? RB is not your child and he definitely does not need to be told off by you. Like I wrote previously, if you disagree with a poster or see that what they’re writing is incorrect, you can write your post respectfully. Calling someone a ‘chochom’ when you know that in essence you are calling him a dummy, is completely unnecessary, disrespectful and insulting.
Sorry to come off sounding harsh, but I hope you understand what I’m writing. I am truly not trying to be mean here, I’m just asking for some sensitivity from you when posting. I don’t think calling others names (i.e. chochom, uneducated) is ever appropriate.
I hope you can read this post objectively and not take it as a personal bashing, because I honestly don’t mean it that way.
Health
I have nothing against you and do not wish to argue with you. Though I don’t post often, I do read the threads a lot, and I have found, as yentingyenta pointed out, that often your posts seem very sarcastic and insulting to others. I have never said anything to you before about it because I figured it wasn’t my place. However, in this thread, I think you insulted a few people (maybe unintentionally) and once the topic was brought up, I stuck in my few cents. Maybe I shouldn’t have. But I felt strongly about it and chose to. If I hurt you in any way, I apologize.
Again, I have nothing against you and do not wish to cause machlokes here. Maybe, as yentingyenta stated, you should re-read your posts before posting because many times people can take them the wrong way.
I wish you much hatzlocha.
Health
You talk about being don l’kaf zchus others and are upset people are ‘bashing’ you.
Let me use your own words:
To real-brisker: “RB – Maybe you should change your name to Chochom from the Ma Nish Taneh? I actually was waiting for s/o to post what you wrote. I wonder how many people believe you?”…And the next thing some Chochom will write is that they all plan their births.”
To yentingyenta: “Well thank you. Did you ever see this or are you just quoting your nursing textbook?”
To nechomah: “Since you claim to be well educated, (which could be true, but I’m not so sure)”.. And again “Sorry to say, I don’t feel that you are very educated.”
Please tell us how this is 1. being dan l’kaf zechus others and 2. simply respecting others and disagreeing in a RESPECTFUL way, since it doesn’t seem that way to me (or to others, apparently).
There is a way to disagree that’s respectful, and a way to disagree that is insulting and sarcastic/degrading.
Look at the top of the main coffee room page and you will see a sticky thread that says “Searching CR for Old Threads.” click on that and it will take you to a search engine for the CR
Health
If you wouldn’t be so degrading and insulting to others in your posts, I don’t think mod72 would have posted that.
Not going to write much because this is a public forum, but 72, you wrote exactly what I was thinking.
Just saw them last week. They are very professional, and soooo cute! They really did a great job.
Health,
Feel free to agree with whomever you wish to.
I agree that one should be well informed about vaccinations, but not to disregard giving them completely. There are some vaccines (like the varicella [chicken pox] vaccine) that I don’t see the real necessity for. However, and I could be wrong here, I think it is required for entry in most schools.
Some people choose to use an alternate vaccination schedule for kids where one can space the vaccinations given to their children if they’re concerned about giving so many at once, though not everyone in the medical field agrees with it.
Yes there are risks to vaccines, just like there is to everything in life, but the vaccine is the MUCH safer option.
Herd immunity works only if a very large percentage of the community is vaccinated. Once enough parents start refusing vaccines for their kids, the herd immunity is gone. Some people medically cannot receive vaccines, such as those who have received organ transplants (their bodies cannot fight the live weakened vaccine), or those with allergies to parts of the vaccine, and I think we should save that small percentage of non vaccinated individuals to those people.
Don’t misunderstand me, Popa, I’m not saying it’s likely one will be exposed to Hep B; it’s the attitude to vaccinations in general that I don’t understand (unless you were being sarcastic before).
My hubby always helps with the household chores 🙂
Popa
Hep B is usually spread through blood or intimate contact but can be spread in the following ways as well:
Direct contact with infected or contaminated blood, even in tiny amounts too small to see
Sharing personal items, such as toothbrushes, razors, syringes, or glucose monitors that have even microscopic amounts of blood on them
Direct contact with open sores of an infected person
An infected mother passing it to her baby at birth
(from the cdc.gov)
The point is that diseases can be spread without you being aware of having definite blood contact with an infected person. To say that living in the frum world does not expose you to any diseases is incorrect.
As an example, if I, or any other healthcare professional, were not careful (and there are many healthcare professionals in the frum world), and would not be vaccinated, we can be a great transmitter of disease. Don’t think you live in a box and can avoid all vaccinations b/c the disease isn’t around.
Popa,
“Hepatitis B is not common among our community, for good reason.”
Sorry, but I just had a patient the other day who was positive for Hep B. What if I had not been vaccinated and had been exposed? I live in a typical frum community. Easy to pass it around.
Hep B can be spread many ways. People in the frum world work every day with non-Jewish people. People have contact with their car mechanic, gas station attendant etc etc. So to say that frum people are never exposed to these diseases is highly inaccurate.
Just something to think about… R’ Noach Weinberg from Aish says that yes, of course its Hashem that gave you the yeshua, but who do you think put you in the situation in the first place?
Of course, it’s the same Hashem. Sometimes we need to think about why He had us be in the bad situation in the first place.
Maybe He is/was trying to send you a message.
Just a thought.
bomb,
Kiruv organizations, like Aish Inspire (www.kiruv.com) are looking for people JUST like you, who want to inspire others and can answer hashkafa questions they are looking for answers to. They do not need someone necessarily to learn with people -many people are not interested in deep learning at the beginning anyway. Check out Inspire’s site, they are amazing people to work with.
sorry, BPGirl, I wasn’t following the thread… her name is Valda, her website is gownsbyvalda.com. (Don’t go by what you see on her site cuz she can custom make any gown for you). I think most of her clients are frum, so she’s very aware of our guidelines. She’s really easy to work with……. good luck and mazel tov!
for my wedding this past Jan., I used a woman who designs your dress for you as you want it. the cost for my entire dress plus fittings was about $400. she gives you endless time. i know other people who have used her. my dress came out beautiful. she’s located in NJ (about a 1/2 from monsey). if you’re interested, let me know & i can post the info.
Goq
I am sorry you went through a childhood like that.
lovesbeingjewish:
when i saw your original post, i thought, wow what a beautiful idea. but when you started bashing others for disagreeing with you, it completely soured the taste. please keep your posts to the positive so you can continue to convey your original message. please understand that different people are different and you cannot judge others by whether or not they have an FB account. Just because FB wasn’t good for you does not mean that others cannot use it in a kosher way. if you continue in the way you are doing, you will just turn more people off to your idea.
bomb,
my husband was told its a segulah for shalom bayis if you don’t leave your tallis unfolded overnight after shabbos; hence, folding it motzei shabbos.
not sure where the source is from, though.
msseeker – i know 3 people who have been abused by their OWN family members. in that situation, telling kids to watch our for others wouldn’t help, would it?
and no, i’m not involved with OTD kids. i’m a typical frum person who happens to know 3 different families where abuse went on. so yes, it does go on, more often than you think.
80 – if you meant what you said, then lucky you that you don’t know about abuse in the fum community. but don’t assume it doesn’t happen. it does. way too often.
none of you guys had Rabbi O saying to keep away from OTB’s (i.e., Off Track Bochurs)? maybe that was before your times..
“rednails19 – Did you go to MBYHBHSFGO??”
haha, flyer, i went there.
only someone who went there would know what those initials stand for. LOL.
mazel tov SJS!!
Did no one hear/see the story about the Syrian child that was kidnapped and his body returned to his parents horribly tortured and castrated? That is the story the OP is talking about.
“bpt
If you really think that your children will never be exposed to things/expose themselves to things because they are ‘good Bais Yaakov girls’ wake up. Fast.”
Agree with Sac. There is a wide world out there which a lot of people -including many typical looking bais yaakov girls -get trapped in. Don’t be naive.
adorable
You can never go back to that innocence level that you had during H.S./Sem; but you can be on a higher level in a different way. Just cause you have seen things you wish you hadn’t (and once images are there, they are there), doesn’t mean you will stay on that level forever. This is what life’s about: struggling, and fighting your way through so that you come out on top. As an innocent child/teenager, you haven’t experienced life & its’ difficulties & temptations, so your spiritual level is not based on personal struggles. Once you have made mistakes & force yourself to rise above them & focus on what positive things you can do, you become a much stronger person, because you have actually struggled through it. Don’t get caught in the yetzer harah’s web of look-what-i’ve-done-i’ll-never-be-good-again etc, because it’s just a trap to make you feel bad about yourself. Focus on the good parts of yourself & the good things you’ve done & can do, and iyH you will succeed.
grw613: I go to a private person who has it in her house so I wouldn’t put her name up here on a public forum. However I’m sure there are many place you can go to.
About hair growing back: The first few times, it will grow back, though it will probably take longer to come back. Let’s say, for example, by the 3rd time or so, there is already less hair growing back. 4th time, even less.. etc. until you get to the point that you have gotten rid of as much hair as you can, with laser. When you do the required amount of times, yea, you have much less hair than when you started.
adorable: the way laser works is that it works on the pigment (the color) of the hair, so yea, if you have very light/thin hair, it probably wouldn’t work much at all. The darker/thicker the hair, the better it works.
tryinghard: yes they do put on a cooling element when they do the laser (otherwise it would hurt 10 times more.. OUCH) but yes it does hurt. Depends on your pain tolerance. If it’s too painful, they can lower the level they are working on. However, the higher the level, the stronger it is working on the hair. And in my opinion, electrolysis hurts even more (yes, I tried that too at one point).
There are a lot of places in Bklyn where you can do laser hair removal.
Just know:
It doesn’t magically remove your hair after one session. It may take longer to grow back, but it WILL grow back. You need to be committed to going at least 4-5 times minimum (depending on the color/thickness of your hair) so make sure you will have enough money for that. It’s not cheap, but if you do go the required amount of times, you will see a huge difference. Good luck!
And btw, yes it does hurt during the session, but if can handle it, it’s totally worth it!
Definitely Saw You at Sinai.
With Frumster, you communicate directly with the other person from the start. With Saw You at Sinai, you have 1 or 2 shadchanim that are assigned to you, and they match you with people they think match your profile. If you see you are not interested in someone they match you up with, you can email the shadchan directly and have no contact with the other person. In addition, they give you a few references on the other person.
I was on Sternberg’s grounds last summer; seemed like a very lax dress code, if there was one.
for example…. “alot” is NOT a word and I don’t know why it’s become so popular. It is and always was, 2 separate words.
As a side note, I believe some of the posters are from backgrounds where English is not the primary language, such as those that went to Chassidish schools, where boys are not really taught English properly. Hence, the difficulty with spelling and grammar.
Daas Yochid,
What I disagreed with was the idea that if one is asking questions, then it must mean they are suffering or in pain. If that’s not what the poster meant, then my apologies. What I am saying is that it IS ok to ask questions about your faith instead of following blindly, just like you question anything else in your life.
TBT: I asked questions & got answers. But I think it’s the way other people look at and respond to that person asking the questions that is the problem sometimes, which may end up aiding that person in to turning to the wrong things.
I must say I completely disagree with TBT and the others that agreed with TBT. Why, because someone is asking a really legitimate question, must it be that they are suffering from pain and hurt? I know people, including myself, that wanted more information and proof to Judiasm’s base, and who were NOT suffering from any sort of pain or hurt. They simply have an inquiring brain and don’t believe things just because they are told them. According to R Noach Weinberg of Aish, we SHOULD ask & know, and the answers are there! But you don’t need to go through life saying I’m Jewish because… I dont know, cuz my daddy was? People should know themselves why they do what they do.
o yea and how could i forget the Dr Peppers? they posted the funniest stuff ever on the funny shidduch dates thread
my favorite ones are: the wolf, oomis, bpt, sac, sjs, popa, charliehall, mod 80, always here, aries
thanks, oomis 🙂
Never think you’re too old & you’ll never meet ‘the one’… I B”H just got married a few months ago and I’m 27
Someone is out there for every one of you. Sometimes when you finally meet the right one, you may realize why you had to wait so long.. (you/the other had to mature, you/the other wasn’t on the right religious level, you/the other wasn’t available (divorced/widowed) etc..)
Don’t give up!! Hashem hears all your tefillos!
my friends who tolerate me when i’m in a seriously hyper mood 🙂
my mother for taking such good care of me when i was in a car accident and through my recovery
i form it and freeze it unbaked. on friday i take it out about 2 hrs before it goes into the oven to let it defrost. sometimes it’s a little out of shape and i quickly re-form it.
tastes as fresh as if you just made the dough that day.
i use parchment paper and it’s much easier than silver foil, not messy at all.