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Interesting topic. To answer the original question, what to do if a kid doesn’t want to get up in the morning. My advice (for whatever it’s worth, 25 years of parenting all ages) First make sure the kid is in bed on time. Do something that the kid wants to do when he is ready for bed to make it happen pleasantly. Secondly, have a talk with the kid to rule out a good reason for not wanting to start his day, e. g. is he being bullied? etc. Thirdly, if the kid went to bed on time, and you ruled out a valid reason for his reluctance to get up. Use a consequence if he isn’t ready to leave when he should be ready. Wake him up and give him 1 or 2 reminders as needed. No nagging. Then stick to your consequence. A consequence I used with a preteen that worked well, was missing a mid winter fun day if she misses school for no good reason.
Krakow Poland
Home of the Megalah Amukes – Reb Nosson Nota Shapira
Nechomah, Welcome to the Bubby Club! Mazel Tov and asach yiddish nachas.
MA, What about ????? ??????
Do you know the tfilla of ????”? ?
?-? ??? ?????
In it we ask Hashem to bring us to:
????? ?????
????? ?????
???? ?????
MA, What about the mishna, ??? ?? ???
Visit Queen Elizabeth.
Now don’t think we don’t have the bread
It’s all in the entrance instead
Chametz we’re munchen
Just not in the kitchen
We’re busy preparing a spread
Now we are truly up to the cooking
Sauteing and frying and baking
compote and cupcake
soup, kugel and steak
I’ve got volunteers for the tasting
“So use canola oil.”
Our Rav Paskened that canola oil is kitnios.
Use Walnut oil.
mdd, I heard that there is DNA testing to know if someone is ben achar ben from Aharon HaCohen. I wasn’t taking the mothers into consideration. You are right.
With the advancement of DNA science, you may possibly be able to find that out now.
Truebt: Sorry I didn’t read your megilla at the top of this thread, it is too long. Try to put out several shorter posts.
I just read what Cruz stands for and if he actually implements everything he stands for, then everyone should vote for Cruz.
1) He is anti abortion and pro life.
2) Pro marriage.
3) He is pro Israel, and anti Islamic terrorists (calling them by name)
4) He proposes a 10% flat tax: doing away with much of our looney tax code.
5) He is pro school choice: vouchers, and tax credits.
He has more positions on other issues, all of which make common sense. The 5 I enumerated above I think are enough to help you choose Cruz.
Syag, “why my name?”
You obviously gave it some thought and came up with some of the weak points, all you have to do is figure out how to improve them.
Syag,
“if NOBODY is going to libraries and my kids do, that may be a different case.”
Your chinuch decisions should be thought out based on merit, not on what anyone else does.
Syag, Would be great if some good minds would work through the snags and figure a new method, based on Montessori. A fixed up version to take care of all the issues you mention. We can call it the “Syag Lchochma Method”.
gavra, going to a location which is full of tamah like a public library is not comparable to the grocery store. Tefilla and education is important and restrictions also.
Dy, it is a mitzva to teach your children to swim.
NE: I don’t follow this thread (anymore) since it is going in circles. I did read your post and have this to say:
First you make it perfectly clear that you think Avi K is “pretty disingenuous” and “was disappointed, if unsurprised, to see that this simple, direct question didn’t receive an answer promptly”
Then you describe a ‘type’ of poster: “who waffle for an intermediate period of time before, when addressed with these kinds of easy-to-answer queries, the ones that require an unambiguous straight answer, either waffle around the topic, ignore the question, or cease posting”
Then you tell him:”Not that I’m specifically accusing you of possessing these traits.”
Sir, you absolutely accused him of that.
I’m not judging here whether that accusation is true or not. Simply pointing out that after judging him, you say that you are not.
Why?
mazal77, well said.
Syag,
you said:
“The rules have a basis whether the kids understand them or not, and are not just “rules””
I said:
“As long as the rules are there to benefit the child.”
I think we are on the same page.
I start with the premise that the parent has the child’s best interest at heart, and isn’t making random rules like a mad despot.
PS, I don’t really like the term ‘strict’ it has I think a bad connotation. I think in terms of ‘firm’ as in sticking to your guns when you know that your decision is the right one. And not allowing your child to wear you down. I see that as lazy parenting and not in the child’s best interest.
Parents that spend the time to form a strong relationship with their child when they are younger, generally have it easier during the teenage phase. I don’t think my house, my rules, is weak parenting. As long as the rules are there to benefit the child. Communication is very important especially with teens.
My house, kids rule makes children feel neglected and brings chaos. Children including teens need boundaries to push. It feels good and safe to come up against a firm wall that will not let you fall. Children with no boundaries are not happy.
I recently had a conversation with my married daughter. She was reminiscing about high school and observed that as much as she resented her principal for being so strict, looking back she realizes that it made the atmosphere very stable and safe.
A parent isn’t a principal obviously, however, children appreciate firm parenting, even if they won’t tell you until they are much older.
Rebyid, I don’t know you or your parents. This works in a healthy dynamic.
The Montessori method, gives children some autonomy over their education. I think it would be wonderful if the idea would be mainstreamed.
Zdad, hope you realize I didn’t mean that literally!
I’m trying to bring a point across. Parents today are often scared of their children. They need to take back their parental responsibility and stay in the drivers seat for the duration of their children’s growing up years. Children do better when parents have clear dos and don’ts and stick to them. Weak parenting isn’t in a child’s best interest, even if at the moment it is more pleasant to cave in.
The attitude of ‘there isn’t much you can do’ just isn’t good for your children.
Flyer, my Bubby O”H suffered many losses during the holocaust. Toward the end of her life she spent a lot of her time sitting by her window watching the Brooklyn scene outside. She loved watching the kinderlach going and coming from school each day. She’d sigh with pleasure and say: ? ???? ??? ??????
RebYidd, gavra: As long as a child is living in the home of the parents. The parents are the boss. Why does the parent have to give up control over what the child reads before the child is an adult living on his or her own??
The least the parent ought to do, if the child refuses to listen, is forbid Assur reading material from entering their home. An uncooperative teen, can be asked to please find an apartment to live in if they can’t abide by the rules of the house. (After doing the math, most will opt to toe the line).
I am not talking about kids on the edge, I have no experience with that, and you would need specialized guidance in such a case.
Zdad, true, I mean in general, using taxes to benefit the people who actually live and work in this country.
Lesschumras, If there wouldn’t be school buses, we would manage I’m sure.
?
Just press alt 1 for the irritating little smiley face.
Git Meshige, I always knew that getting born, paying taxes and dying were non negotiable.
Sorry about your ‘feeling’. As a homeowner, I pay school taxes.
I believe that putting our tax dollars to serve us as a community is smarter then using it to help a foreign country.
Not so sure that for the youngest children they are ok. My kids used to have Berenstein Bears, eventually I got rid of them. I found that the underlying theme was quite disrespectful to the Poppa bear.
Chocolate is a way of life.
Taxpayers, and I believe it’s money well spent.
The school my children attend have a no public library policy. There are Jewish libraries here which they can visit.
Since my children are huge readers I buy each one a book every Pesach, Sukkos, and Chanukah. We have a big collection by now. Just bought more shelving from IKEA to accommodate the overflow.
We also buy the heimishe weekly magazines.
I rather my children not have enough books then they should fill their heads with shmutz.
Member, My children’s school has private busses. The district busses made my kids wait at the corner, which didn’t help them in any way. My kids were the only ones getting onto that bus on our block, and the bus was passing my house anyways. I pay school taxes plus tuition, I don’t feel that I’m taking what’s not coming to me by having a house stop. Especially as it doesn’t in any way inconvenience the bus route.
The kitchen is being invaded
With shmattes and soapsuds it’s raided
Can’t wait to finish
Oh how I’ll relish
To know that I finally made it!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Here are some more, ?? ?????
Tzvi: Any illness is an issue when it comes to shidduchim. As is learning disabilities, physical abnormalities, poor (physically, spiritually or emotionally) family background etc. However, in shidduchim there are tradeoffs, and noone is perfect. People with Crohn’s do get married.
Writersoul, On 306 you are right, having buses stop at every house is nuts. On Main Street there is 1 bus stop and all the Mommies and kinderlach wait there.
I live on a quite street and my house is the only stop on the block for my kid’s buses. (There are more buses stopping at other homes for kids in different mosdos..)
We used to have East Ramapo buses, and the driver insisted my kids cross the street and stand at the corner, even though they were the only kids going onto the bus there. Thankfully we now have private bussing and the driver happily stops right at our front door.
On Shabbos we greet each other with Gut Shabbos, morning, noon, and night. We also greet strangers on the street with a Gut Shabbos. That is an old minhag, which is unfortunately slowly becoming extinct due to the phenomenal growth of the town.
Since you say that you ‘visit’ Monsey, I assume you are not a resident here. I am very happy that the bus driver is willing to pick my children up at our door, so they don’t have to wait outside in the rain and freezing weather. I am willing to put up with the inconvenience of traffic during ‘bus hours’.
I live pretty close to our boy’s yeshiva. Since there is a high traffic area that needs to be crossed to get there, I appreciate that the bus comes and I don’t have to leave the house, (and toddler) to do the crossing every morning and afternoon.
For the people living here, the convenience outweighs the inconvenience. I certainly hope you don’t wish for us to change things to make your visits easier.