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There is advice. Don’t go through with a Shidduch until you feel ready. If you have reservations, don’t let people push you through. Many cases that I know of would have avoided this way. There are also unavoidable, unforseeable situations, but you get that by crossing the street, too.
I think iDaven has something.
I realize. But it will be known. When word gets out that you insist on them referring to her by first name, it will sound like you are trying to be Mezalzel in her. If you have the same last name, I guess that would be queer calling her Mrs. You, but the first name just doesn’t sound good. They can say, Tante First Name, which many people do when a parent gets remarried at a later stage.
I think a first name would come accross as a fight. How about they call her, “my Shvigger”? After all, a mother through marriage is a mother-in-law!
It really is horrific, and disgusting, too. Why shouldn’t they call your X-in-law, Mrs. Whatever when they talk to you?
Why don’t you go the wedding, too?!
I’m usually considered a quiet person. I am not afraid of people, but I still am shy.
It might be likened to “the big three” in some way, but you shouldn’t take it all the way. Many Maamarei Chazal are meant in a certain context and should not be taken out of that. You’ll find yourself with alot of Kaashyos if you do that.
Although Lashon Hara invokes Hashem’s rath and a Lashon Hara group is not Mekabel the Sh’china, It still isn’t one of the “big three”.
As far as Teshuva, as others have written you can do Teshuva on anything. Also, a chronic gossiper would have a hard time recifying his misdeeds, because he can’t trace every person he ever spoke about.
Hey, ZeesKite, he must be related to the Ben Parrim of Parshas Vayeitzey.
BTW,
There is an ancient invention waiting to be re-discovered; it is called, common sense. It is used to judge different situations separately. In other words, you should not be taken advantage of but you can do a friend a favor.
As long as it remains in the realm of a favor, would you turn him down on the basis of a policy? What to call a favor can depend on who it is for.
An observation is the exact opposite of a superstition.
MDG,
No, they will only charge you for moderation.
It was once pointed out to me that airplane crashes come in threes. This rule never failed me.
Albert Einstein said that if he can meet one person from history, he would want to meet Moshe Rabbeinu and ask him if he thought that after 3000 years his people would still follow his laws.
Alecha Horagnu Kol Hayom is not enough?
ZK,
Dim WhatYouMean As Meaning
WhatYouMean = New Meaning(true)
I.know(WhatYouMean)
So then, let’s start one all over again.
Simcha is ambiguous. You must refer to a current instance of class.
Ok. 2 points to the Men team for a great showing in the Baby Boy Bigger Brocho than Girl thread!
Wolf,
Me too. That is what we say in Modim Derabanan, Al She’anachnu Modim Lach.
No, you’re having a hmm moment.
I think His Royal Highness I got what He asked for. Some really fantastic stories here.
It’s more like dancing on a basket of radishes. They won’t squash but I wouldn’t want to eat them (especially considering all the other places you tried dancing).
I am specifically talking about when it applies to other people. For example, you are talking to her and someone else interrupts. If she would say something sharp to embarrass that person, that is a chance to say, “that was a bit harsh”, or maybe even, “I think you are a bit harsh on that person”. This is very different than saying it when it applies to you. When it is about someone else, it is in a sense you with her against the other person. You are telling her as a team mate rather than an opponent.
But definitely, what Aries mentioned goes first. I an saying this in case you actually do want to make inroads.
Aries,
Chazal say, Resha’im Melei’im Charatta.
Wolf,
I’m sure you are aware that Kefira is a type of Aveira that is possible through thought, as the Gemara in Kedushin says, Shema Hirher Ba’avoda Zara. That is not the case with physical transgressions.
Greg,
Wolfish prefaced his question with relevant sources.
Wolf,
It might not be a correct measuring stick. Not necessarily is the Ein Maalin due to the person’s spiritual state. It might be more a matter of the benefit of the Klal.
Reb 80,
He is asking a theoretical question. Granted that we know that he is doing it maliciously, would there be a Mitzva to save him? Your second point is, of course, true. There is a Mitzva not only to save his life, since he’s is not yet a Rasha, but to save him from commiting an act that will make him a Rasha. This is actually worse than the regular Lo Saamod because you are supposed to stop him from doing an Aveira.
The best thing you can do is to point it out when it’s being done to someone else. Only then is there hope for the person to accept it and realize it. Once the person verbalizes and acknowledges that they have that problem, then there is a chance that you can point it out when you are the victim (for lack of a better word).
Wolf = Most intriguing and open minded
His Royal Highness = Highest rank
So you mean there are still chain saws?
I guess it’s better to smile than to frown, but there is something wrong with the guy who walks around all day with a smile. I don’t want to come off as frownier than thou, but…
Only a few words.
Health, Mosherose only posts from time to time. There is nothing significant about him suddenly showing up. Moreover, Joseph is pretty much consistent and he never sounds like Mosherose. Besides, I think they have their sights set on someone else.
For some people in some situations, the following may work.
Think through the matter that worries you untill you can conclude that there is actually no need to worry. Once you trully realize that and believe your conclusion, you then realize that you are therefore not worried, since you know and believe that there is no reason to be worried. Although your heart is still heavy or racing, that is a physical issue. You can do something to calm your body until it catches up with the news.
Are you talking about when an S thread becomes a Z?
My experience has been what smartcookie described. Baruch Hashem it straightened out.
Laughter eases stress, and many other things, too.
That’s why I wrote that they have a job that represents a certain Madreiga, not that they are in a certain Madreiga. But, that being the case, their Brachos are worth more, as Hashem promised; and after keeping up the Kedushas Haguf they obviously, by means of the Mitzvos, achieved personal Madreigos, which we can all do by doing our share. Yes, we are missing out on those Mitzvos that they are lucky enough to have, but through Vekidashto and learning we get a Chelek.
Charlie, I have no idea what happene t your comment. I thought you brought out an excellent point.
tro11, Truth was responding to me. Since he said Kohanim are born on a higher level and I argued, saying that they are not born better, he wanted to make sure we are talking about the same thing before arguing further.
Truth,
Would you say they have a different Neshama? I wouldn’t. I say they are born to this job, which represents a certain Madreiga. It is not inherent to the Neshama, it is inherited from the father. I wouldn’t say that being born a Cohen makes someone closer to Hashem.
Daas,
I was both, including RuffRuph, which never saw the light of day. The original HaLeiVi is also blocked. When that happened, I didn’t know I was being Josephed, and figured it was an error. After being blocked as RuffRuff with that subtitle, I understood that it wasn’t an error, only a mistake. For one thing, I got to see that no one really recognizes style and outlook as they claim to.
Now my story is all told.
Eclipse,
The one who posted it is aware of what we are referring to. I don’t want to put pressure on that person, so I hope nobody presses on.
I was talking about parbenbakar’s comment. I don’t either think the abuse thread should be taken down, but there was an inappropriate description there, albeit not extremely terrible, nor that descriptive.
Daas,
That someone was me. The mods did clarify the issue in the Joseph thread, but for some reason they decided to keep leave the subtitle in place.
The Gemara says that Hashem doesn’t reject a Teffila Betzibur. So, if you think that you might sometimes have other/foreign thoughts during Davening or any other causes for your Teffila to be rejected, here’s a simple solution.
Real Brisker,
I couldn’t agree with you more, but I’ll try.
Wolf,
As long as he has a cookie identifying him, he can be denied access. Obviously, if he can log out he can then view the CR without posting.
While I don’t agree with parbenbakar in regards to the CR in general, I found that post he was referring to, inappropriate.
That’s really taking it to its illogical end, Truth.
Your story only indicates that in the merit of the deeds of his grandfather, a person inherited Kehuna. Nobody is born a better person. We are supposed to honor the Kehuna, not because this Cohen is a better person than you.
In what way, exactly, do you feel inferior? You are obviously the first to feel so. Therefore, please explain. Do you feel that having more Mitzvos is an inferior status?
The reasons for the Bracha of Shelo Asani Isha are:
1: We have more Mitzvos.
2: Women have a harder time in the world; they are often taken advantage of, they have to be much more carefull from evil doers, most attacks are against women, and they are usually physically weaker which helps facilitate most of the above.
Which one are you jealous of? No one is created with checks on their chart. Some are born with more to accomplish, which, as mentioned earlier, is a privilege and a duty. There is a greater possibility to stray, as a man, as well as to accomplish.
Btw, 2012 is the year and nobody made that up. Y0u 5pe11ed a word.