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“Do you really want to rely on one or two midwives for infant resuscitation? What if medication is needed? Who will treat the mother in the mean time?”
Indeed. That’s also what I wonder about – that last sentence. Sure, your midwife may be great, sure, she may have all of the first-aid kit needed to support the baby for a few minutes (note she will NEVER have the same equipment as a hospital).
But if the mother starts hemorrhaging and the baby doesn’t breathe – then what is the amazing super-trained midwife going to do in your home?
“I am very happy that I had a home birth , since I would have had a C-section in the hospital. My baby was breeched, and wouldnt come down since the cord was tied around him. BH , with some exercise, the cord was released and the baby was born breeched. Doctors do C-sections for their own convenience. And in the hospital, with all the monitors attached to you , something at some point will show, that there is something “wrong ” with the baby.”
So you gambled with your child’s life and it worked out. Mazal tov!
“Having a baby at home is not a sakana, like the doctors want you to believe, just like not vaccinating isnt either a sakana. Big Pharma wants you to believe that from the moment you arrive on this earth ,to the moment you die, your life depends on them. Vitamin k shot ,the moment you are born, to the hep b vaccine? Yikes. Never knew babies are doing drugs and immoral acts that they need a Hep B vaccines.”
Sorry, I don’t know what to say, honestly I don’t.
“Just live the way Hashem wants you to live, and dont be fooled into the lies we are brainwashed to believe, that we need all this intervention in our lives in order to be able to survive.”
So I guess you don’t wear seatbelts either, right?
“Good luck to all those who leave the cult of modern medicine, where there is a pill for every ill, and a vaccine for everything under the sun. Comming up next is the HIV/aids vaccine. Just wait until they convince you that your child will get AIDS,(of course ,its only the kids that need all these vaccines, they are the ones make everyone sick.)”
I hate to say this, but I think your opinions are extremely dangerous. You follow the “anti-medicine” movement with as much zeal as others follow the “anti-New World Order” movement or the “anti-Zionist conspiracy” movement. Or those who believe the Mossad killed Yigal Amir, or the Secret Service killed JFK. Don’t you realize you are completely brainwashed by the ANTI-medicine movement?
I can definitely agree with the statement that in the US, the decision for surgical intervention during birth is made very quickly and easily. I read about that.
But your statements about vaccinations and boasting that B”H your child made it out alive are sickening. Could you please clarify what had happened if they had NOT been able to ‘release the cord’?
Halacha is plain and clear about shabbos + yom tov, we do not say sholom aleichem nor eishes chayil. IIRC we do say the last part of Modeh Ani.
I’d only take 1 ticket, ever.
I was long opposed to lotteries, but my wife convinced me to give it a try once. First time I participated I put in 2 GBP and won 5.70 GBP.
As long as it only costs me 8 GBP per month I’ll try it for a while.
If you start spending more on it it can become addictive….
I most definitely would not let my children go anywhere alone until they reach an age where I can trust them to be somewhat responsible.
Of course it all depends on the circumstances: the distance involved, the roads to cross, the local population, time of day…
Here in Gateshead there are several busy neighborhood roads (not busy by NY standards though, I guess) – for example Coatsworth, Whitehall, and obviously Prince Consort Roads – and almost no marked pedestrian crossings. And even if there were – a significant population in the area consists of not really upper class non-Jews, some of whom are plain criminals and quite a few of them – the youth especially – drive extremely recklessly.
I used to think home was great.
However, take into account that in The Netherlands, it is relatively quite common for women to give birth at home by choice. One of my sisters did it twice.
However, at the same time, it has recently been featured in the news that The Netherlands – which generally has excellent medical care, about the best in the world, I dare to say better than the US – has a relatively high infant mortality rate.
It is quite obvious that any sudden complications at home can quickly turn into a major disaster for both mother and child – both with the birth itself as well as with the infant who might suddenly turn out to have some sort of congenital disease or other issues and need urgent medical attention.
You don’t want to be alone with a single midwife who has to deal with both the mother AND the child then. The thought of having to call an ambulance, waiting for it to arrive, letting the ambulance crew do their work on-site as much as they can (in some countries they do “stay and play” – for example The Netherlands and Germany – and in others “scoop and run” – for example the US and Israel), then get to the hospital, get things running there…… by then, if you have a serious situation, it’s likely to be too late.
There is only so much anybody can do in the home environment, even an emergency physician and ambulance crew, without having the benefits of a fully equipped hospital environment.
And most importantly, there is only so much that can be done to identify possible complications before birth.
I myself would absolutely not want my wife to give birth at home, ever. I’m not willing to take that risk.
“If men can’t watch the wedding video because women are dancing in it, I guess even the Choson himself cannot watch it!”
Well, actually, at my wedding we didn’t have any video (though my father made a couple of short clips with his camera).
And indeed, my wife who was in those days still the super-extreme-frum type of BT (as was I), wouldn’t let me watch the *pictures* of the ladies side! Took a few weeks before she allowed me to see those pictures.
By now we’re a little less extreme, but more stable… It’s better to be at a ‘lower’ level yet be 100% stable, than to be super-frum and unstable and risk frumming out.
Me and my wife were pretty young for BTs. I was 21, she was 22 (she’s a few months older).
As for what’s normal, I think you’re pretty close.
apushatayid is right.
Me and my wife use our computers only in the living room on the table. I used to sit in the ‘third room / study room / soon-???”?-to-be-baby-room all alone, but decided that was anti-social, not nice for my wife.
Yatzmich: amazing story. You have something to be really, really proud of.
Rav Avigdor Miller’s idea is awesome also. I’m sure it would work, absolutely.
@147 – Yep, about the same. Best are still the ones who won a Darwin Award for being blown up by their own car bomb in the middle of a highway since they thought the bomb would explode at 16:30 (Palestinian time), but actually it exploded at 16:30 (Israeli time). That was during the week(s) when Israel and the PA have different times since they don’t switch to/from DST on the same date.
The ones we should really be afraid of are the smart ones. It wouldn’t have been all that difficult to do what the Toulouse gunman did and get away with it, had he had the brains for it. We’re just lucky here, as usual.
As I wrote: “As for how I came up with this – read some crime books, follow the news, read and learn about some past criminal cases, and such things seem pretty obvious.”
This guy may have been a fool. Let’s hope the next one is just as foolish. If you want to understand this a little better, watch (oy vey) some crime series (factual documentaries, not fictional) about how actual criminal cases are investigated and resolved, or get some books.
Personally I always enjoyed Tom Clancy’s political thrillers (the Jack Ryan series); I started reading those, in English, when I was about 14 years old.
“Biology is limudei kodesh.”
Not exactly, but close.
I’m a big fan of the way Chovos HaLevavos describes our need / requirement to learn secular science, including biology (ie, anatomy / physiology) and others.
Lauren is right, however, in this case there is a pretty clear indication this is the right guy. But the law is the law and the law should apply equally to all, and indeed as you say, he cannot be considered guilty until having been convicted in court.
If we would go and randomly execute people before giving them an organized trial with evidence and allowing them a defense, the world would become a different place, and not for the better.
Anyway, it will be over soon.
Edit: it probably already is over. Knowing the French *are* indeed quite competent, the entire raid shouldn’t have taken more than 15 seconds from the moment the flashbangs went off… and that would be a lot.
@AOM – the BBC wrote that this is what police said:
“Officials say he is heavily armed with a Kalashnikov high-velocity rifle, a mini-Uzi 9mm machine pistol, several handguns and possibly grenades.”
I wonder whether the Flatbush Shomrim usually go in to catch such people – tina?
me too.
When I moved from E”Y I sent most of our belongings by mail, in huge 20 kg packages. I guessed that makes me a Godol HaDoar.
By the way, they did a pretty good job finding him, though it was rather easy. He made two giant mistakes:
1) He contacted the first killed soldier via his brothers’ email. Had he had any brains, he would have taken a laptop, gone out to some little village far away and found an unsecured WiFi network and sent it from there using a Hotmail/Gmail account he created right there on the stop. Obviously the laptop used would have been purchased second-hand via eBay using a fake address and would immediately afterwards be disposed off by burning it and throwing it in a river.
2) After the second killings, he went to a garage to have his scooter painted over. How freaking stupid can he be. He should have disposed of it immediately after the first murder, again, by burning it or putting it in some location where nobody would ever find it (for example, bury it in a forest – plenty of remote locations in southern France, it would take a couple of hours but would have been worth the trouble for him).
So basically he was a stupid idiot who made two giant mistakes that B”H led to him getting caught.
Had he had brains and thought of what I just wrote, he would never have been traced.
As for how I came up with this – read some crime books, follow the news, read and learn about some past criminal cases, and such things seem pretty obvious.
Let’s hope they get him alive so they can pick his brains apart. As I wrote before, the French (the DGSE / DCRI) have a reputation for getting people to talk. They can be quite convincing.
So what do you propose, tina?
Send in cops, into a room with a guy with a Kalashnikov and Uzi and maybe wearing explosives, and try to arrest him? I guess you’re going to explain that to the families of those cops at their funerals.
Have a sniper take him out from the window? Great, there goes your living, walking and talking source of intelligence which could lead to the capture of 50 other similar guys who are currently ticking time bombs all around the world.
Fundamentalist Muslims talk at interrogations. They’re not like Irish terrorists, for example, who won’t say a word whatever they do to them.
They want this guy ALIVE and with good reason.
Marriages got ruined before the internet also, so I highly doubt that “all” ruined marriages are due to the internet. It would also be very interesting to compare the frum divorce rate in 2012 to the frum divorce rate 20 years ago. Basically, I suspect you won’t see much of a difference, and if there is any, I highly doubt the internet has anything to do with it.
Anyway, here’s another reason: I wasn’t always frum, so I’m not too afraid of the big bad world out there. For an 18-year old boy from a frum family who hasn’t seen anything but frum Gateshead, Lakewood, or Boro Park and who has never spoken more than 3 words with a non-Jew and never spoken more than 2 words to any female who is not close family, things might be different.
Yeah, I know people say “that’s the yetzer hora talking”. I’m sorry, but I don’t really care. I know myself, and I (sadly, unfortunately) make my own decisions. And yes, I know I should ask a rov, however, being my Dutch arrogant self, I am my own boss and make my own decisions – I could never accept anything I do not agree with. Sounds bad, maybe it is, but that’s just the way it is.
I don’t think you completely understand.
1) The guy has a couple of (sub)machine guns. Uzi, Kalashnikov, that type of stuff.
2) They want him ALIVE.
3) He doesn’t care whether he lives or not.
That slightly complicates the situation, don’t you think?
@brech: another thing the French are good at is handling captured terrorists with a very loose hand. Much, much looser than the FBI or even the CIA with its waterboarding ever could.
Trust me, those who critize the French right now are completely wrong. You obviously don’t have a clue of the facts.
@Logician: “Gatesheader – May I please introduce you to a very integral part of yourself ? It’s called your yetzer harah. He’s very gifted at attacking normal, responsible people.
May I please introduce you to a mitzvah called “yiras shamayim” ? It’s about assuming you are more vulnerable to doing the wrong thing than you think.”
Sure, but I think you didn’t read the second part of what I wrote. First of all, my job requires unlimited internet access, second, my level of IT knowledge ought to be sufficient to defeat any filter. I could never live with any sort of filter.
As for why my job demands it – I’m an IT engineer who works with devices in the price range where “entry-level” means around $40,000 and “high-level” means a couple of millions. The number of sites I use and may suddenly need for work-related research alone defeats the idea of a filter. Then there’s the issue that I use sites in numerous different languages around the world to keep track of the news, for example.
Oh, right, and my dream was always to study medidine and I read quite a lot of medical-scientific material, including on gynecology, for example. Would a filter block the words there?
Honestly, filters are for little children and people who cannot control themselves (and don’t have good IT skills).
I can walk in the street in places where they sell non-kosher food, right? I can walk through cities where prostitution is unfortunately rampant, right? I can walk into stores where they sell filthy things, right? I don’t have someone accompanying me everywhere I go all day long. I don’t see why the internet is any different. Would it be different because the internet is something you can access privately, from inside your home, all alone without anybody knowing? Well, I am quite capable of dressing ‘undercover’ (I’m undercover for work, especially since I have to travel all across the city by bus and metro), and I could easily get on a bus, train or metro and get out of the city, to another city where nobody knows me, nobody would ever recognize me, and do the most horrible things. Yet I don’t do that, because I don’t do things that are not allowed. Again – why is the internet any different?
I just don’t get it and never will.
minhag avosaini beyadaini
@coffee addict – yes, that is precisely what I was referring to.
We are not Hashem and we don’t know what he does. The ones I usually hear saying such things are extreme right-wing Christians, and other similar freaks.
Ahmedinejad is bad, yes. He is a threat, yes. He is a danger, yes. But one cannot just go around calling someone a “gilgul of Haman” based on absolutely nothing. What about Nasrallah? What about Arafat, indeed? What about OBL? Hitler? We don’t know. We are not privy to this, we don’t know who is a gilgul of who.
As mentioned, chabad.org is great for beginners. And the rest ItcheSrulik and Mod20 mentioned.
I know quite a few people who came from a Christian background and became Jewish – you’d definitely not be the first!
Health, are you and PBA related? As twins, for example?
sorry, sometimes it feels like it. 🙂
As Raphael says (hi, ex-colleague!).
Personally I don’t believe in filters, even if just because my IT level is such that a filter would merely be a minor inconvenience to get around, but a major inconvenience in that it would trouble me all day. I’m not a baby and I don’t need a babysitter.
I grew up in The Netherlands. There, one can take a train to Amsterdam, walk a bit to the left and see the most horrible things. Yet I would never go there. The internet is just the same. All you need is self control. Be a normal responsible adult, that’s all.
Someone is having a bad day…
I used to say, “Gut shabbos, gut woch, whichever you prefer” to anyone I passed. Sounds a little funny, but it’s the best solution I could think of!
@Avi – sure, the UK has trouble also, but generally I believe France is worse.
By the way, the same things happen in E”Y. Remember the Merkaz HaRav massacre? I lived almost around the corner there when that happened.
The worst part of this is that you can never entirely prevent it. One who wants to commit terror attacks can easily do so – even if it’s just a single person with just a gun and a scooter. He could do it another 10 times and get away with it each time. You simply cannot put armed guards everywhere, on each possible location; a person cannot be alert to that level continuously anyway, so the guards themselves might get killed easily as well.
Ultimately I doubt the perps (I doubt it’s just 1 guy) will get caught, due to serious research, old fashioned detective work. But they’re not going to get caught by an armed policeman standing in front of some school.
“I obviously think you’re wrong. How many women do you know that deal with bugs or mice/rats when they are indoors? Or do they scream -stand on chairs -and call for a man to deal with it?!?!”
Personally, I don’t care about mice or rats (what is scary about them?), but I have a huge insect phobia. So in E”Y, before I got married (when I was living alone), when I had roaches in the house a couple of times I managed to kill them on my own, being completely terrified. Killed them by using tons of insect spray (that STINKS) and drowning them in soap (much better but doesn’t always work for them).
Then, I always had to go out and find a neighbor to help me get rid of it. I cannot touch anything like that in any way, so if one got stuck somewhere where it would be impossible to remove it without lifting it up (once, for example, I had one killed in the sink) I had to get someone to help me. Can’t do it even using 30 layers of kitchen paper or anything like that.
Guess who came to my rescue…. the neighbor’s 12-year old daughter.
Nowadays I have my wife to take care of such things, if they should ever happen again. But we also have 3 cats, even better. Ever since the first cat joined the household, we never again suffered any trouble.
@Sam2 – sometimes even I am not sure…. and I’ve been reading his posts for 2 years or so!
Now on topic: I wish I had the strength to do it. I’m too scared, too lazy. No excuse really. I should do it as well.
PBA, without anything about any zchus or whatever, just do it because it does no harm and does a lot of good to help others.
As nitpicker says. People who come up with these stange theories which are founded on nothing give us a bad name.
I think most of us are either still in denial or we simply don’t know what to say. Something like this takes a bit of time to sink in.
As for me, I honestly don’t know what to say.
Selfishly said, though, I am glad I made the decision to move to Gateshead from E”Y. When I was looking to leave E”Y I had job opportunities in, among others, Marseille, Prague, Dublin and Newcastle. I chose to go for the Newcastle one (FYI, Newcastle = Gateshead, like NYC = Newark but much closer and tighter) because I knew France is much more problematic with the Arabs there. Besides, what is an Ashkenazi shtreimel-wearer going to do between the Moroccans. (No insult intended, I know many Moroccans and have absolutely NOTHING against them – but I think everyone understands what I mean.)
Anyway, I decided against Marseille because I feared such things would happen. I guess I was right.
May the best man win!
It’s an individual thing. For the parents and the children. Who are you, what kind of kehilla are you in, is it accepted to watch (any / such) movies? How old are the children, do they watch movies regularly?
And I’m sure I could think of more questions….
@mikehall – some say so, however, be aware the Reform say exactly the same when confronted about the non-Jews in their midst.
Silly nonsense, IMHO. Feel free to think whatever you want, of course.
Some people go around everywhere randomly labeling any and every person they don’t like as “Haman”, “Canaanites”, “Edomites”, and who-knows-what.
In my opinion, those who do so equate themselves with right-wing ultra-conservative American Christians.
(That’s not a good thing.)
“In Europe before the war, you were a member of the kehila of the town you lived in.”
Correction:
“In Europe before the war or in Gateshead after the war, you are/were a member of the kehila of the town you live/d in.”
Gateshead has probably one of the strongest official kehilla structures in the world.
“4)lots of children are dying R”L IN all different tragic ways”
be careful what you write….. you never know when it becomes true. (the OP was 7 hrs ago, the France shootings less than 5 hrs ago)
As Avi K says. People who commit traffic offenses and then try to talk / lie their way out of getting a fine are despicable.
It’s bad enough that they violate traffic laws in the first place. But then, instead of facing up to it and admitting their wrongdoing, to discuss methods to ‘trick’ the cop into not giving you a fine…. is REPREHENSIBLE.
This topic is a giant chillul hashem.
“but for a husband and wife to hold hands albeit only at home is contrary to kedusha and tehara.”
Then you’d better avoid my house by a very, very large circle. Not only do I dare to have a house of tumah…. I also have three cats!
There, that should work. No Gerrer schnorrer will ever dare approach my door now!
Tell the truth? I cannot believe anyone would actually ask this question.
What does a frum yid want in a coffee shop?!
If you want coffee shops, go to Amsterdam.
… oh, you mean a shop where they sell coffee.
You beat me. Is this a late Purim joke?
My craziest experience was while working as a security volunteer for the world skiing championships almost 10 years ago, getting stuck on a Swiss mountain on a steep slope in near-darkness in a heavy snowstorm (blizzard), extreme cold, and resulting in not being able to see up, down, right, left, front or behind. Met up with a snowboarder and a couple of soldiers stuck in the same situation, eventually we managed to get down very slowly, took more than an hour for what usually would take 2 minutes or so. And that one’s real. Yours sounds too crazy to be true.
Health & BTGuy, quit this, now. What are you two, monkeys in a cage with too much testosterone? Argh. What happened to ignoring insults?
As for the topic: I think postal is quite right, however, as several others have already mentioned as well, the fact that many divorced men have ‘problems’ applies to the ladies equally so.
@pba, I sure hope for you your wife won’t ever read what you just wrote. 🙂 I’ll leave any other response to your post to the ladies, but I think you are extremely brave to say such a thing, perhaps a bit too much so!
Now, on topic, you’re absolutely right. I’ve had blood tests so many times – the last was just a couple of months ago – and I have a hair disorder for which I am currently receiving treatment consisting of about 15 injections in my head every couple of weeks. Anyway, blood tests are a joke. I certainly don’t enjoy them, but it literally hurts for just a few seconds (only the insertion hurts) and then even only a bit.
@postal- no. No such thing. Don’t know of anyone like that. Impossible, pretty much unthinkable.
(Except if you count Chabad….. which can by no means be considered ‘chassidish’ in the usual meaning of the word as most of the frum world uses it.)
Welcome back! I sure remember you, it would be great to see you posting again. I hope you’re fine now!
Yep, one right here. Had a kesher with Cleveland and Dushinsky in E”Y but not so much since my chassuneh (keeping in mind I’m not FFB and neither is my wife, I can’t really leave my wife alone much any time when the main chassidishe things are, when everyone goes).
Anyway, plenty of people in Yerushalayim also who don’t really have a specific rebbe. I knew several.
As for me, being in Gateshead, pretty much the only thing that makes me “chassidish” is the nusach and the shtremel… Not complaining about Gateshead, I knew what I started before I moved here and there are plenty of great people here! But personally, I wonder sometimes whether I shouldn’t just adapt back to the rest (as I was more on the Litvishe side when I became frum, like most).