teenager

thanks everyone, i used to post a lot more regulary but my posts dont egt through anymore so i kind of gave up on this site, nut im alive and still frum for now

It would have to be true happiness, not based on materialistic things. If I was happy, i wouldnt feel a need to resort to negative things.

Ashreinu- I am going to try to get the info for you

frum33- theres one in monsey, dont know bout lakewood

I have been to both- yad vashem and the holocaust museum in d.c they both are done very well, but theres something about yad vasehm that just leaves more of an affect on you.

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a habit.”

Aristotle

“Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.”

Confucius

“A chain is as strong as its weakest link.”

Danish Proverb

“The strongest among the weak is the one who doesn’t forget his weaknesses.”

Danish Proverb

“We should never permit ourselves to do anything that we are not willing to see our children do.”

Brigham Young

“To understand your parents’ love you must raise children yourself.”

Chinese Proverb

“Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any one thing.”

Abraham Lincoln

“The road to success is lined with many tempting parking spaces. “

“Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it.”

Henry David Thoreau

19

I would never give men a ride, they ask I dont offer but I refuse. They are all ages from teenagers- 40’s or so, I dont really look at them to much.

Itzik- I have an innate need to help other people, and even more so after what I went through. I know I have to get myself to a good place before I can help others, but over the past few months I have chosen a better path and things have gotten much better. But I hate the philosophy of leave it to others, I cant do that because the “others” arent doing whats needed. And as I said before one of the reasons I became frum is so that I can help others.

Feif Un- I am currently on leave from college so your idea is possible, when I was in seminary las year I was thinking of going to one of the neve programs for shana bet, something like shalevet, which has a high level of learning. but when i got kicked out of seminary i decided i wouldnt come back to seminary, and thats when i went otd. i dont think my parents would let me go to israel since thats where i messed up my life, but maybe thats also a good place to fix it. i will think about it.

Nobody- Dont know why you have so much faith in me, but thanks for that.Thw problem with saying yesterday is the past, is that the past never stays in the past it always influences your present and your future no matter how hard you try not to let it. I hope I can be a good example to others. thanks

Itzik- Yes, I am out of h.s and sem, i am a sophmore in college. i have experienced shabbos elesewhere especially while in israel and i spent shabbos with some amazing people, they are out there but if i am not surrounded by them what does it matter. ive been told im a magent for the people with issues and stuff so maybe i am missing out on good stuff, i live in a normal community i jsut see so much stuff going on that i feel everyone is blind to and that i want to help but i am incapable of doing anything.

Gitty- there are two types of not being frum, one is the kids at risk who do drugs drink and stuff and than people like you who live a healthy and happy lifestyle minus judiasm, it took me a while to realize that cause when i went off i went all the way off, but than i met a couple of people a lit bit older than me who grew up frum but chose to forgo most of judiasm, they are still in the jewish worls and are succesfful amazing people and they are people i emulate and want to follow them. I know what I believe but sometimes with everyone telling me differently its hard to stand uo for what i believe.

I do not know who you are hanging around with, or who you are speaking to.

see the thing is now i am sort of back ont track and hanging out and speaking to good people (some from this site) and i am still seeing this false facade

its a 845 area code, i assume its monsey

yoshi- yea thank God I have been so fortunate. No, right now I am stuck in America and not to happy bout it, but hopefully I will be back home soon

Nobody, I dont want to argue with you, I see how you are right that a lot of people avoid situations because they dont know how to deal with them not soley because they dont want to, but again thats not the case with everyone.

I dont think just because I am a teenagred I know everything, I know very little and because I have that approach I am able to look around and learn because I realize I dont know msot things about the world, I did have the approach for a while that I know everything but that was very false.

You think just because we are teenagers we havent dealt with the things youve mentioned ive dealth with suicides,drugs,alcohol, rape, abuse, death and other things. Kids these days dont have kid problems anymore, we have large scale issues where we gain experience early on way to early on. Adults who have been able to listen me without dismissing me as knowing nothing have been able to learn things from me, as I have been able to learn from adults as they are more experienced than me since they have lived life longer but in a different time than I am. I and other teenagers have spent many sleepless nights dealing with friends with major problems that adults havent helped with, dont dismiss us as knowing nothing jsut because we dont know everything. I am not trying to challenge adults, I am just trying to speak up and show how many teenagers feel, its a cry for help for many. Thank you for labeling me as a troubled teeanger, that I am not, I have gotten help and am in a good place and trying to help the kids who arent as fortunate as me. I am not making excuses that no one wanted to listened, I persevered but a lot of kids feel like they arent listened to. You know what I am saying is true its jsut easier to push it off as false since most kids dont speak their minds and blame it on the kids and not that some adults arent perfect and can be apathetic and judgmental at times. Maybe you are a wonderful parent or are great with teens, but thats not the case for everyone.

I am not saying this isnt a problem, I cant judge as I dont know whats really going on in this situation but I feel like we see what we want to see, i dont kknow if they arent eating kosher and if they arent yes its a sin im not trying to understate that, but i feel like people are more appaled at frum girls eating possible not kosher than frum girls doing drugs and sleeping around. can everyone take their blinders off?

for a minute lets forget the financial issues of seminary, with me going to israel was cheaper than my high school, plus it counted as my first year of college and it was a lot cheaper than college. but beyond that i think the bigegst problem is that seminary has been a must, in 12th grade it wasnt are you going to seminary its which seminary are you going to, personally i ddint feel it was the best thing for me but it was an option not to go, so i went. its not for everyone and it shouldnt be a msut whether for shidducim or for other reasons, depending on the girl she can agin a tremendous ammount spirtitually and from the independence she gets from that year. but for ohters it can be a potenital pitfall, some girls dont want to feel like they are in a cookie cutter system and feel like they are being brainwashed. plus the indepence in israel can be a potential pitfall, while theres so much kedusha in eretz yisroel, theres an equal amount of gasmius and the hangouts are in israel are the worst. so the things is parents and educators have to be careful who goes there. it wasnt meant for me, i wish someone would have realzied that, while i did learn to be more independent and did my own laundry, and cooked supper- we only got lunch and yes i actually cooked, i value money and do not just max out on my parents credit cards and eat out every night, i shopped for my own food cooked my own meals and made plans for every shabbos. but spiritually it was bad for me, i went off the derech for a while and the like. but anyway seminary can be amazing for certain girls, just be careful who.

Ok now that we agreed with Gila, put your words into actions.

when i was younger, we had that we could only acsess the internet with a password

oh i forgot to say, also most of the guys who i hung out with who werent frum anymore came from really yeshivish families in brroklyn and lakewood, not modern orthodox families.

i agree with oomis1105. i grew up in i a mix between yeshivish and modern, but i guess you would classify me as modern. i am awed by people who are constantly striving to get to a higher level and better themseleves and their yiddishkeit, why would i think i am better than them if in truth im not? those kind of people inspire me to work on myself. the only thing that bothers me when people are fake and hypocritical and ive come across a lot of that. dont throw bleach on women if they arent keeping your level of tznius and than go off and smoke a ciggarete, what about shamar ol nafshosheicam, this is an extreme example but theres so much of hypocrisy and paradoxicalness is going on and thats what the problem is. when people are truly on a higher level than me that inspires me, and those people dont push it in your face cause its not a competion they are ture yidden in eminating the real personal charcteristics that a frum jew should have, the people who push your flaws in your afce and brag about where they are they are on a lower level and have much to strive for. one thing that bothers me is the looks i get when i walk into the frummer sections of my town, i follow hilchos tznius maybe not das yehudis i dont cover my legs below ny leggs but al pee halacha i am doing what i should and when i feel i can do more i will, but being stared at by all the men and even the women jsut turns me off and yes maybe makes me a little judgmental but thats one of the things im working on, is not to judge so easily because i dont want people doing that to me

my parents went to an addiction specialist, i will have to find out what he reccomended