technical21

Any men who are on YWN should probably abstain from commenting on seminary in any way, shape, or form, since they don’t understand its purpose and never will.

Joseph- I meant that girls do sometimes take things that their seminaries tell them VERY literally, and they are likely to say no more quickly than they probably should have because of it. That’s why I said that this is more likely to be what the seminary told their girls, rather than actually telling them to say no if he’s not exactly what you’re looking for.

By the same token, when I have said no after a date, it has almost always been mutual (even-or maybe especially-a first date). I’m not saying that I won’t give it a chance; I have had boys where I felt no particular connection, but went out a 2nd time if we were able to find things to talk about on the date. I’ve also had an experience where the 1st date wasn’t anything special, but I had a much better 2nd and 3rd date. This is only if there is something to talk about, though.

All I’m saying is that there is such a thing as knowing after one date that the boy is not for you.

A Woman Outside Brooklyn-

As a girl in shidduchim, I have to disagree with you. There are times where I get into the car and after 5 minutes, I can tell that there is no connection whatsoever. I think that thousands of girls out there will agree with me. I have mentors/teachers whom I speak to when I date, and I have never been told that I was unjustified in saying no after the first date.

Sometimes, everything looks good on paper, but two people just don’t click- and it could be immediately evident.

If what you’re trying to say is that he’s not “the man of your dreams,” most people don’t marry “the man of their dreams.” (I would’ve said that no one does, but I was afraid of getting some dispute from engaged people in the CR.)

Everyone has this “image” in their head of what their “one” will look and be like. That image can be very destructive in shidduchim, since the real “one” is usually very different from that image. The question is, are we foolish enough to bypass our zivug because of that?

If that is the problem you’re facing, I know it’s not an easy one to shake, but work on it as much as you can.

SDD- has Moshiach come in your world? That encapsulates a lot of what the Rambam says will happen with the arrival of Moshiach.

Hashemisreading- agreed.

In terms of whether parents or children know better, I’m biased, since I’m a child in shidduchim. I take care of my shidduchim pretty much exclusively. In my particular situation, I think my parents would agree with me that I understand how to handle shidduchim better than they do.

I’m not saying that this is the norm, or that this is a good thing (I don’t think it is), but just that this is my situation.

on Wednesday nights, sorry

Really? I’m surprised… I think that the point of Masa is to attract new olim. Therefore, it would make sense that they would try to attract people from everywhere, not just America, no?

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1,000 years are like a second in the eyes of Hashem… obviously we are experiencing the ????? ?????, but in terms of ????, there’s no way of knowing how long those ????? will last. So let’s daven for ??????!

BYA is an AMAZING sem. While its academic level is certainly not that of BJJ or Mesores Rochel, it is far from “not academic.” It’s somewhere in between. There’s plenty of work, and if you’re not good at reading ??????, it can be very overwhelming; if you have strong textual skills, though, it’ll pretty much be a breeze. Depends where you’re coming from.

But beyond easy/hard, the classes are super-stimulating and very meaningful for your life. BYA’s teachers give you loads of life skills and ???? that you will carry with you forever. While it may be an amazing thing to have covered the entire ??”?, it seems to me that having covered ???? ?????, straight ?????, emotional skills, and the ????? of a woman are much more fundamental for us. Are you going to seminary to learn like a man, or to learn like a woman? I never found the classes to be dry and boring- quite the opposite.

In terms of the girls, I can’t give you as accurate of an answer, since I went there three years ago. My year was pretty out-of-towny and more yeshivish, but I think it’s been more in-towny and less yeshivish since then. We had mostly girls who had also applied to Bnos Sara and/or Nachlas (Rebbetzin Jacobovits was still there when applications were due). We had an incredible group of girls, which made the year special.

By the way, you should know that if you do go to BYA, you will have the most unbelievable, ????dik teacher in the world, Mrs. Rubinfeld. The only other sem that she teaches in is Meohr Shana Bet. She is BYA’s best-kept secret. Someone from BJJ recently compared her favorably to Rebbetzin David.

Then there’s also the best madricha and person you will ever meet… but you’ll find about her if you go:)

One other thing I love about BYA is the fact that I am still in touch with several teachers until today. Even those who I am not in touch with, I know that if I ever want or need to, they are a phone call away, and will not think that I’m weird for calling. I did have to work on establishing the ??? originally, but they are very receptive to girls who want to make a ???.

I have the same problem. While I will wear a shell underneath to make a neckline a little higher or for sleeves, I don’t buy dresses that have cutouts, dips in the back, v-necks or very low necklines in front, etc. It makes for an extremely difficult time.

What I try to do is find a dress that’s workable- meaning, it has enough material in most places, but needs to be lengthened a little. Then I’ll buy material and add to the bottom. It’s expensive, but with my standards of tznius and also my desire to look nice (not trendy, but put together and attractive), it seems to me to be the only way.

Lord and Taylor sometimes has good sales on dresses that are “less problematic.” Nordstrom is very popular among frum people, but I always wonder why, since most of their dresses have weird cutouts and are also extremely expensive. Some of the frum stores can have dresses without the cutouts that “only” need a hem down.

Hashemisreading- I meant give me a break on the thread, not on your choice of favorites. No comment on that one way or another. You’re entitled to have whatever favorites you want, and to ask your children, grandchildren, and all your doros what their favorite food/color/song/etc. is!

There are many times where it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that the original song is non-Jewish.

Also, there is at least one group whose tunes are all taken straight from non-Jewish songs, and the words changed to mimic the non-Jewish one. I think it became particularly obvious when “Candlelight” came out…

I was just commenting on the fact that Jewish men’s hair does thin early- or, at least it seems to me to be very early. Maybe I’m wrong statistically speaking.

For those who say the OP’s point isn’t true, take it from someone who’s dating boys in their early to mid-20s, and has seen all of her friends get married to boys in that age range- it is most certainly true.

Almost all the boys’ hair is starting to thin in front, at the very least. For a while I was kind of bothered by it, but since I realized it is so widespread, I decided that it’s just a fact of life to deal with. It’s out of the boy’s control.

Give me a break…

Maybe it’s not outright ??? – I don’t know the halachic aspect of the matter – but in my opinion, it’s the wrong thing to do.

Also, what if the person shows up and wants to park in his own driveway?

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Syag- I take offense at that. All I’m saying is that it’s not rishus! Saying that someone is a rasha is very extreme. We call Hitler and Stalin resha’im; we should be careful about who else we put into that category.

I think that it’s very passive-aggressive to use this to cast doubt on the way people here live their lives. All this thread is saying is that people have a little bit more of an ability to see shades of gray in people, instead of labeling them as all bad because of one action.

I think that we have a very different definition of “rishus.”

Someone who has bad midos is not automatically categorized as a rasha. Being self-centered is a very bad midah, but it doesn’t make a person a rasha!

zahavasdad- that’s a crazy story.

The fact is, calling someone a rasha for doing something like that is completely uncalled for. It might be a very selfish thing to do, and stem from bad midos, but a rasha? Give me a break.

Let’s save the word rasha for people who really deserve it.

I didn’t take it in English, but I took it in Hebrew and it’s probably pretty similar.

In the first part, you listen to a paragraph in the language once with the opportunity to write notes, and then you answer somewhere around 10 questions. It’s pretty basic.

The next section is a 150-word composition in the language. They give you 3 choices of topic.

The third section is to translate from English to the language, and the 4th is to translate from the language to English.

With my American background in Hebrew (though admittedly, I am pretty good with dikduk), I got a 12 out of 12. I didn’t prepare for the test at all.

I did not take the GRE, so I can’t answer that. It is important to get a good grade if you want to get into graduate school; exactly how important it is depends on how competitive graduate school is in your field of choice.