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Viewing 50 posts - 151 through 200 (of 507 total)
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  • in reply to: Amusing Questions (division of the Joke Thread) #1020292
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    If the opposite of pro is con, is the opposite of progress, congress?

    If Aliens are so smart, why do they abduct the dumbest people?

    If you buy a package of cotton balls, are you supposed to discard the first one?

    Do Roman Doctors refer to an IV as just 5?

    If someone told you he was a chronic liar, would you believe him?

    If ghosts can walk through walls, why don’t they fall through the

    floor?

    If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is he treated as a hostage situation?

    Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?

    Why does the Secret Service hold press conferences?

    Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person

    who drives a race car not called a racist?

    in reply to: A Timely Question #947232
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    Our Rabbi ruled not to observe Shiva, and that we may play her favorite music during the procession.

    in reply to: A Timely Question #947230
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    in reply to: What Blessing to make upon Seeing President Obama #948387
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    I love how nobody reads the thread.

    just the first and last posts,

    then they post.

    So you have a bunch of redundant miscommunication.

    Ah, the coffee room.

    in reply to: Rav Druckman's conversions #946425
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    couldn’t find. But where can I see it in hebrew?

    in reply to: Rav Druckman's conversions #946423
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    you’re talking about the case a couple of years back in Ashdod? or is this a new case?

    in reply to: If all of Halacha was Given at Mt. Sinai, #946007
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    Sam- Thanks. Where is this Rambam?

    in reply to: For Non-Math People Only #945984
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    cool it now, I’m only kidding;)

    in reply to: For Non-Math People Only #945982
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    I don’t like this thread.

    in reply to: Contemporary Christain Miracle Stories #946133
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    So now that you are all saying miracles happen to people who pray to different sources, why should Jewish stories bolster my Emunah?

    in reply to: Amusing Questions (division of the Joke Thread) #1020288
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    my bad- it goes like this:

    Is Benjamin Franklin Mr. Quaker?

    in reply to: Most Amazing Thread #945928
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    Thanks DY

    in reply to: If all of Halacha was Given at Mt. Sinai, #946004
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    ubiquitin- There’s Halacha. Then there’s application of Halacha.

    in reply to: Seeing Stars #946318
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    so why are you laughing?

    in reply to: Contemporary Christain Miracle Stories #946119
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    benignuman- I mean contemporary christian savior stories.

    in reply to: What Blessing to make upon Seeing President Obama #948377
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    DaMoshe- Obama can kill anyone in a whim.

    Marshal Law is sanctioned by the ‘Necessary and Proper’ clause in the Constitution.

    He can also spare a life in a whim with a pardon.

    The guy is the most powerful guy in the Planet. More that any King around today. Don’t let the “Mr. President” fool you

    in reply to: Contemporary Christain Miracle Stories #946117
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    If Jewish miracle stories bolster faith, what is there to say of those on the other side?

    in reply to: If all of Halacha was Given at Mt. Sinai, #946001
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    ubiquitin- we are saying the same thing.

    in reply to: Sefer Torah: Ksav Beis Yosef vs. Ksav Ari #945768
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    He didn’t ask exactly, he asked approximately.

    The correct answer would be the east coast, US.

    in reply to: Cheap wine range #945765
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    edited by Daas Yochid, even though it is Daas Rabim that Johnny Walker whiskey is not wine.

    in reply to: BUMP #945940
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    🙂

    in reply to: Cheap wine range #945763
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    I heard a story of someone who refilled a Blue Label bottle with Black Label whiskey. Everyone at the event was drinking more and more, saying how spectacularly delicious it was.

    Until one veteran alcoholic came in and busted him.

    in reply to: Cheap wine range #945754
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    yehuda- Ok then- just give me the money, and keep the wine.

    in reply to: Cheap wine range #945752
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    If I drank a $90 bottle, I wouldn’t enjoy. I’d think every ounce $5 down the drain.

    in reply to: No more college? #947161
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    WIY- give it up, pounder.

    in reply to: Cheap wine range #945750
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    Ouch. My whole world just toppled.

    in reply to: No more college? #947150
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    “how do you crack pressure?”

    you throw it under the bus

    a) just make sure to consult w/ ur mentors (u already said that, so whatever)

    b) make sure you fully trust your mentors for their guidance so that you don’t regret their advice down the road.

    in reply to: No more college? #947144
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    If you may crack under pressure, crack the pressure first. It is easy, because the pressure already pressurized.

    a pearl of my wisdom.

    in reply to: Cheap wine range #945748
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    “I sent him a bottle of $90 wine.”

    statistically, you must be a cousin

    in reply to: No more college? #947143
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    Saysme- You’re a lucid as they come. Praiseworthy.

    in reply to: Are you a belieber? #945656
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    squeak- “I never heard of the term belieber before”

    never say never

    in reply to: Cheap wine range #945746
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    just saying. cause that’s the way it is by me.

    in reply to: UNREAL: Obama Refuses To Call Boston Bombings 'Terror Attack' #946065
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    kfb- that’s one of the reasons you don’t work for the fbi.

    in reply to: Margaret Thatcher, of blessed memory. #945633
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    Here are some of Margaret thatcher’s famous quotes:

    “You would rather the poor get poorer, so long as the rich don’t get richer!”

    “In politics, if you want something said, ask a man; if you want to get something done, ask a woman.”

    “To wear your heart on your sleeve isn’t a very good plan; you should wear it inside, where it functions best.”

    “Ronnie and I got to know each other at a time when we were both in Opposition, and when a good many people intended to keep us there. They failed, and the conservative 1980s were the result. But in a certain sense, we remained an opposition, we were never the establishment. As Ron once put it: the nine most dangerous words in the English language are ‘I’m from the government, and I’m here to help.’ As usual, he was right.”

    in reply to: Margaret Thatcher, of blessed memory. #945632
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    yekke- “May she rest in pieces. There are bigger problems facing Anglo-Jewry.”

    Why should the fact that there are bigger problems cause you to curse her?

    in reply to: Cheap wine range #945744
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    daas- why is the cousin always the wealthy one?

    in reply to: Parking in a handicapped parking #945713
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    pilot- I agree with the other posters. If I read ‘Designated handicap’ I would think it means designated for handicap.

    I think you should call up your local township to put a “Reserved, violators will be towed” sign.

    Good luck.

    in reply to: For Non-Math People Only #945972
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    Vicious infinite regress- Falling down a back hole

    Dreadful and modern divergent series- The next generation

    Vicious circle- The circle of life, (Freud)

    Apodictic hygiene- The cleanliness of the appendix

    Creduda- I think she was Cruela de Vill’s daughter

    Vermiculate- immaculate vernacular

    Horriplatively- In the playground at midnight

    Hankie of Death- The dreaded tissue

    Mutatis mutandis- bacterial silence

    surd- the gist absurd

    in reply to: UNREAL: Obama Refuses To Call Boston Bombings 'Terror Attack' #946060
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    1)Fort Hood shooting, it was confirmed ages ago that it was a Muslim, who shouted ‘alah ackbar’ before he gunned them down.

    To this day, Obama refuses to call it a terrorist attack.

    2) According to Obama, there is a very big difference between “Act of terror’ and “Terrorist attack.”

    3) Having said that, if we were to find out that the bombings were caused by a deranged psycho because he finished last in last years marathon, would you call him a terrorist?

    in reply to: Parking in a handicapped parking #945709
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    Pilot1- are you talking about cars or planes 🙂

    (how do you know that they don’t have a handicap permit in the front?)

    in reply to: Ask me any question #945539
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    one of many- dont meen to interrupt, but every time u post, you evoke Dolores Umbridge wi a purple hat ^_^ (and the eyebrows)

    sorry- just had to say that

    in reply to: Are you a belieber? #945642
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    gavra- “All it takse is for a dictator..”

    All it TAKES. Just helping w/ the editing 🙂

    in reply to: Everyone Must Answer: Your Favorite Song #1032925
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    sheesh, okay give me a second

    in reply to: Are you a belieber? #945640
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    gavra- did u take ur post down or was it the mods?

    in reply to: Are you a belieber? #945639
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    gavra- “he ignored some of the boycott calls when he proformed (or will preform) in EY. Good for Yidden in my book.”

    What?- So you think Madonna, and all the others who include Israel on their tour is good for the jews? Maybe they are good n that they don’t incite the opposite/- They said the same thing about Elton John and many others- that despite the threats, they ‘persevere on’ an that they ‘should be lauded’. All they do is reinvigorate the carefreeness there. Elton John- and his ‘husband’. Ridiculous. ‘Good for the Jews’ – jump in the lake.

    in reply to: Are you a belieber? #945635
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    It is one thing to like his voice and some of his songs, but to be a beleiber is insane.

    You don’t have to be smart to realize where he’ll be in a couple of years. Or for that matter, where he is.

    in reply to: Posting Too Much #946176
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    Syag- “And thus endeth my re-emergence soliloquy”

    – sorry, got mixed up between old English and Latin 🙂

    Hope everything works out fine.

    in reply to: BUMP #945934
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    Bump

    in reply to: I can relate #948511
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    what? (sorry i wsnt paying tenchn)

    in reply to: Posting Too Much #946163
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    Et tu, Syag?

    Torah- Not everyone is interested in every thread.

    Sometimes interesting threads become boring, and versa vise.

    So refreshing the CR is always welcome, In my boastful opinion.

Viewing 50 posts - 151 through 200 (of 507 total)