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Junior… And what do u mean by safe? Ur really scaring me here! When u say people I’m dealing with u mean my co workers as In other staff ?
Blabla: what do u mean they found out stuff? I’m supposed to be going as staff….
omgalwayz: what are u going to malka as? i know a few kids going as waitresses….
I am very scared n nervous about professional help because I cannot see myself opening up to a therapist etc. just curious, do u mind tellin me like what professional was able to assist u? And I told u I know I am totally wrong for having something against hashem n I’m trying to improve. And yes my pain is immense n I cannot describe it here …
Also, just curious, r u still dealing with this problem of urs? Cuz from the amazing info ur giving me it seems like ur headed on ye right track and the problem is sort of behind u…
I just want to thank you first of all for taking the lengthy amount of time out of ur life to help me with my problem it means a lot. So basically my life at this point is surrounded by so much bad but besides for the bad it’s surrounded with unimaginable pain! I feel as if I dnt matter bec if I did god wudnt put me thru so much yesurim! As hard as I try to improve myself as a good jew I find that hashem keeps piling on the pain therefor causing me to just feel worthless and low. Ik it’s wrong to feel this way but I can’t help it. This rebbe gives me some sense of meaning and I feel like he uplifts me every time we talk. He inspires me a lot. I am so low at this point I can’t daven I feel like why shud I praise hashem for all the pain but dnt get me wrong I know this is completely and utterly wrong of me but I’m trying to daven more. Just curious but was there a specific reason as to why u wud go to this rebbe so often? Like did u have a problem he helped u deal with or did u just enjoy his company? Thanx for ur amazing advice and I intend to apply it as soon as the situation occurs.
ye im in mesivta…our situations are lil bit different but not really. in my case i have a reason for being so attached because my life at this point is VERY DIFFICULT. not the type that im making up problems… i got to know this rebbe this year and he is the reason im surviving! i tell him all the time that im so thankful i have him etc. without this rebbe i would feel like a ghost and a nobody. he gives me some meaning to life and i respect him more than anyone in the world. that is why its so hard to break off because breaking off means going back to a world of more than necessary pain! and ur right about people not realizing what im going thru! totally true!! i dont speak to him that often like have a lengthy conversation( happens prob 2x a month maybe) but i often see him in the hall and will ask him a quick something thats on my mind or he’ll ask me how im doing… do u think thats so bad? cuz u make it sound like i MUST break off immediately but that to me wud mean killing me completely!
I’m really looking into help but dnt want someone who just will have some initials after their name n try to just diagnose me at the first visit I need someone personable and sensitive yet good
It’s gettin even a bit freaky since when I read ur post I felt myself doing those exact same things! Like I only have this rebbe 2x a week n whenever we miss that lesson for a trip or speach I get so upset and anxious whilr everyone else is soo excited to miss a lesson! Yes it is so difficult! And I am currently going through it! I seriously have panic attacks when I think about the situation and the fact that I can’t talk to him ASAP! Also it scares me to think that next year I won’t be able to talk to him anymore since he will no longer be my rebbe! What do u mean by I thought other people noticed while they really didn’t at all? Because I hate the feeling where everyone knows me as the kid who has issues n must talk them with a teacher … It’s very hard on me that part
I can relate to how u feel 100% percent! I also get very jealous when other people talk to this rebbe of mine and I feel very anxious all the time like I must tell him what I’m feeling or who knows what we happen. When we had vacation I felt extremely anxious n was looking forward to skool starting and now I just feel like I must talk what’s on my mind all the time which isn’t very possible. Feel the same way?
I can relate to how u feel 100% percent! I also get very jealous when other people talk to this rebbe of mine and I feel very anxious all the time like I must tell him what I’m feeling or who knows what we happen. When we had vacation I felt extremely anxious n was looking forward to skool starting and now I just feel like I must talk what’s on my mind all the time which isn’t very possible. Feel the same way?
It’s so scary how I know exactly what you are talking about and I can relate 100% percent! This year I have become so attached to teacher ( in a helpful way) and at times I feel such immense anxiety I feel like I’m having a full blown panic attack! Even when I’m not in school and just think about how we talk when we’re together it gives me such an attack! Do u mind elaborating on the point why u had to leave? Was it because u got to dependent on the rebbe or just for other private reasons? ( just curious )