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“So, because I disagree with your definition of when divorce should be acceptable, I “have no shame”. Interesting. Or, perhaps you’re wrong? ”
Yitzchok/Joseph- you’re a riot! You really think disagreeing is what makes him see that in your posts? You give yoursrlf waaaay too much credit! They are too silly to even be argued on. Hmmmmm, maybe you have taken the troll thing a bit too seriously?
“According to many posters here this issue is only one of your sensitive perception rather than a real issue.”
Blatant untruth. Twisting is akin to lies. According to many posters here THERE IS A SUGGESTION THAT this issue MAY BE your sensitive perception…
Singlemom- I am very surprised to hear that. Are you sure that that is ths case or is it possibly just an inference you are feeling? With so many divorces these days it is not the stigma it used to be and most teachers dont think too deeply about it. Unless there are other compounding factors. Outside of NY the “broken home” isnt even as much of a shidduch deterrent as it ised to be so i cant imagine teachers hplding it against you.
That isnt to say your children are not getting negativity of some kind, i don’t know, iwould just be surprised if it was about this.
I don’t open news stories that look like something i wouldn’t want to read and i make a point never to read comments.
anonymous jew – what you say makes sense and I would certainly have thought the same thing but I grew up with people who were generally happy with where they were at. The one’s who were raised in weak Torah homes became weaker and the others grew, but I was not exposed to the animosity or aggression towards frumkeit that is out there. When I read some old threads here years ago I was bombarded with questions I never would have thought of and if I was in my 20’s I may have been much more intrigued. Before I knew how much garbage was out there on the net I would go to different blogs mentioned and read stuff so jolting, and written by people who are convinced they have found truth by leaving r”l. It took me only a couple days to swear off all the surfing and reading and I had to consciously tell myself that that is not the place to find answers. I had no doubts, was not discontent with the Torah I have been taught and live, but I was still sucked in by the seemingly intellectual front they present. I had to use my strength to put up that wall, and I believe someone who isn’t on guard can be derailed, like missionaries do, even without having doubts.
Even among the posters here there is ittle digs toward chumros, hashkafos, negativity toward being stringent or sheltered. It definitely takes it’s toll.He said no.
An exerpt from a letter written by a survivor posted on jewish community watch:
Posted on August 23, 2018
Dear Rabbonim,
[…]
While I agree that smart phones without a filter can be a potential danger, it doesn’t come close to the physical, emotional and religious danger of abusing a vulnerable minor. At worst, the victim will either commit suicide or go off the derech and at best they would live their life as a frum Jew but everyday would be a struggle to get through the day. Every day would be a new battle necessitating new gear to plow through yet another day of the devastating effects of abuse. Another day of triggers and flashbacks that have such extreme power.I know this battle because I’m a soldier fighting in its war every single day. No, I didn’t end my life. No, I didn’t go off the derech. No, I didn’t get into drugs or other pain numbing behaviors. Instead I chose to fight the battles head on. They don’t stop and don’t get easier. It takes years and years until there is a slightly noticeable difference in the severity of the battles. Yes, every day is a battle as there is not a day that goes by that I don’t struggle from my childhood abuse.
[……]When was the last time you had a nightmare and woke up sweating and had a migraine all day from the nightmare? When was the last time you had a trigger experience while driving and needed to pull over to cry it out? When was the last time you felt so overwhelmed with grief and sadness that you wanted to just end your life? This and so much more is what we go through each and every day.
This has nothing to do with the “shidduch crisis”.
You know what? I used to think you were just ignorant of the suffering of these victims. That last comment makes me wonder if perhaps you might be a contributor!
Being an older single is a pain that continues everyday. Therapy can at most reduce but not eliminate such pain. The cure is marriage. A survivor, survived. He probably needs therapy but the hardest part is generally behind him. He can hope to look forward with the past being a bygone and the future one of potential bliss.
That is, hands down, the dumbest, stupidest, most ignorant, heartless, clueless comment you have ever trolled in all your years. Mamesh brainless!
My goal in my last comment was to make the same point you just made
no, your goal in that last comment was to be a jerk. And even knowing that, I still couldn’t let it go because of the damage you can and do do to countless readers. You got your way buddy, as pathetic as it is, you won this time.
TLIK – so well said.
Josephs insertion of the child abuse topic was verification that he is in this for the cheppering and not any genuine interest in the topic. Thefe is no legitamate excuse to compare a group of children who were physically violated, to a group of singles all over the globe not yet being married. I think ill throw in global warming as proof we have a molestation problem because people arent taking that seriously either so they must both be the same.“anyone davening to the rebbe is not Chabad”
Personally,I appreciate you saying that. I must tell you tho, that those who do do that would be very angry at you for saying they are not Chabad and they would call you all sorts of names. Even tho you are correct. You would be called anti Chabad and accused of having an anti Chabad agenda. Unfortunately, it seems that defending the Torah as your Rabbeim taught it to you is not an excuse if someone thinks you are insulting their derech, regardless of how halachically questionable that derech is!
So sorry! I have a hard time typing on my phone. I definitely meant Yael. And I am looking forward to reading whichever books of yours I haven’t already read 🙂
I wouldn’t waste any energy on that comment. You see he signed it Mordechai Ben David 😊
I actually just finished “Foundling” just a few days before this thread went up (purchased copy this time 😉). It was excellent and perfectly not predictable! I was wondering tho, if your Yarl series is written for a young adult, or general audience?A cat that does not leave the house does not need it’s claws for protection and it is common to declaw them even partially. Regarding spaying and neutering, you may be right but I am not so sure. I think it is wrong even if the cat or dog has already had its litters because it is considered an unnecessary, or voluntary surgery.
you are aware, I assume, that just because you believe there is a problem, that doesn’t mean that there is a problem. So if there isn’t one, it won’t fester.
“And if a scientific or formal survey is impractical to conduct, the problem should be ignored, allowed to fester and assumed non-existing in the absence of proof?”
sounds like a plan
“Tzaar baalei chayim means torturing an animal for no reason but sadism. ”
I know for certain that that is not true. It is assur to neuter an animal, which is far from sadistic. It is also forbidden to declaw a cat. Maybe there are differing opinions on the matter.I know that for myself the last thing i wanted was to feel even more lonely than the empty place setting was already making me.
“— Bread salt and water – if you have that, you have parnasah.”
hang on a sec while I type that up for the tuition committee…
lyric – I will not argue, it is definitely hard on the author if everyone borrows instead of buys. And the 6 month wait does sound excellent. If it is any consolation, many of us who rely on the library just cannot afford books. Maybe one or two a year. So without the library we would be really missing out!
OOM!!!!! How are you?!?! I think about you often, hope all is well. The loss of those subtitles was a real blow to this place. I still dont get why they can’t figure out a way to add them.
Welcome back a day late for Harry’s b-day, by the way.
>.<Apy don’t waste your breath. He’s just excited that someone brought up women so he could put them down.
“Were our zeidas and bubbes over the last thousand years worse off than the kids today who have rebbeim that underwent training?”
Oh please, Joseph. Even for you this is a lame stretch. c’mon.
Meno – The caregivers are hired by an agency and they determine the rate based on government reimbursement. We just run the programs they are staffing. Most of these types of programs run at a deficit. Adding extra money to the pay rate would close the program.
Syag never said anything of the sort. Syag said that trips to uman are on the list of so few people that your adding it in was just a dig. And an assumption that a significant amount of people going cant afford it.
I too get very upset when people who cant afford tuition are spending money on things that are not important but I wouldn’t be the one to decide what things those are for which families, I have been dealing with providing food and things to people who don’t have for over 30 years and I have learned the hard way that each situation is very unique and requires research and shailas. To throw out Uman singles out a specific population in a way that is neither appropriate or mentchlich.
You havent heard seamstresses whining? I thought for sure it was a global problem! It must be that you werent very attentive.
Takes2 – How did we get back to their finances again? Now we get to decide what is priority or not for other people. You had me there for a bit, i agreed witb you and i actually thought you were being genuine as your examples do seem to be extras, but you had to get that uman dig in there. Care to share the thorn?
Another pathetic stab at our school sysyem.
Maybe someone wants to open a thread condemning seamstresses, i was once really uncomfortable because my jacket was too tight and they wanted $40 to fix it! Just for poking holes with a needle and thread, both of which cost nothing. And how much time could she have spent on it anyway! Its corruption!Same here. Many of the rebbes teach the afternoon shift because there arent many males available for all or part of a 2:15 to 5:15 shift 4 days a week. And because they need the extra income.
From your other thread:
I am not some scarred individual walking through life
Are you sure, because that is not the impression you are givingFrom a purely experiential viewpoint i dont see how there can be a right or wrong in raising minimum wages. In chicago we live very close to the border of wisconsin, michigan and indiana and many companies have up and moved to avoid taxes, insurance premiums etc. I also live only blocks away from streets where the southern side is chicago and the northern side is a suburb who did not raise the minimum. The result is the minimum wage earners taking jobs across the street for an extra $40 a week and leaving business understaffed.
In my field, caregivers and direct support professionals for special needs adults get paid minimum wage. Upping the minimum gives us more chance to hire qualified individuals who may actually stick around for more than 8 months. It truly seems like a catch 22.huh?