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Health – sadly she wont be the first or only one you’ve sent running. I know I’ve asked you this before, as have others, but please think carefully before you post. Some of what you say can be very sharp and hurtful. I’ll assume you don’t mean to be and are not aware how you are received. Additionally, when someone steps in and asks you to be more considerate, that is far from an attack.
wait – I’m still wondering if BSD is really Gumball’s dad. Or was that just ribbing?
Had to get in on this too (and technically it’s a new day now anyway)
Goq – You are always so sensitive and kind, I wish we could somehow take away all your sad ‘stuff’ and fill your real-life self with CR confidence. (But then you’d have to change your name, wouldn’t you?) May this be the year that you find your bashert and the menuchas hanefesh that you always give over to others.
* The Syag*
I second that! You are always so level headed and kind. Mature but fun. I even broke my “I’m not posting today” rule to get in on the compliments!!
*Syag*
Your birthday is in the beginning of the new year?! What a give-away! Now I definitely know who you are!
I am NOT speaking against AYC but I would like to join kapusta for a minute and say that 42 is acting as a mod who needs to be extra cautious. I saw from his original post that he was addressing Joseph and I was surprised that people’s responses seemed to miss that. Also, in line with what Charlie Brown said so well, in the last two weeks AYC has (innocently IMHO) offered a private email twice to invite outside communication. While I don’t think there was any outside agenda involved, as a moderator I would advice caution, and if my kid had been the one to respond I probably would have had his head. So 42 may have spoken out of turn, and maybe not, but as a mod he should probably be cut some slack.
Oh, and I grew up 3rd of 6.
I don’t think knowing who you are online is the problem as much as having someone who may not be safe try to approach you. I would worry about my teenagers being approached in email or otherwise by someone posing as a CR friend. It’s that false sense of familiarity that can be dangerous because kids will let their guard down for a ‘friend’.
Thank you for your chizuk, yitayningwut. I hugged my kids alot and told them how lucky I was to love my sister so much even though we were so different, and even though it hurts so much to lose someone. I even told them that I wish for them to love each other so much as they get older. I was definitely happy to have them near me, but I couldn’t shake the sadness. And they are sad too, my sister lived down the street. So even though I was sad and lonely, I tried only to talk about gratitude and acceptance. And I bought birthday treats to pass out to them cuz I knew that making them happy helps make me happy. Another round of Yom Tov coming up. . . another chance to do it differently. AYC – wanna join us in our sukkah this round?
I tried to express ‘simcha’ while I was crying by thanking Hashem for giving me such a wonderful relationship and the privilege of loving someone so much. And by thinking about the family I have now. But I think I was confusing gratitude and simcha. I’ll have to chalk it up to hishtadlus, I guess.
Mazel Tov(a) v’hamaivin yavin
Hey, wait gefen – when was your birthday? Mine was Shabbos! Well now it seems we have yet one more thing in common.
AYC – there you go again, speaking my very thoughts. I spent Rosh Hashana trying not to cry (only 3 weeks after her petirah) but Sukkos was too much for me. My sister and I had been the only two left in the city since my parents recently died as well. Her passing left me feeling so lonely for them all. And the saddest part for me was having a birthday on Shabbos Chol Hamoed, when one of them would surely have brought me a ‘birthday pie’ as they always had. I couldn’t stop crying and I just kept wondering if Hashem was disappointed in me for not being b’simcha. I apologized, but I can’t say I repented because the tears did not stop. Your thoughts were my thoughts, is He really expecting any different from me right now? I was considering calling the Rav to ask him.
I think you should cut it into rectangles and then eat each piece down to a square.
onegoal – If the concert is so great what are you doing in the CR? Turn off your phone!
You should check your history books. Julius Ceasar used to wear them behind his ears to emulate the Jews cuz he thought they were doing it to be cool. Really they were just keeping their aravos fresh.
mustangrider – that’s what I meant to say, it just took me too long to spit it out. Well said.
I had the same first response when I heard that so many terrorists would be freed but I know that in working on my emunas Hashem I have learned that there will not be one more terrorist attack than Hashem deems necessary regardless of how many terrosrists are freed. Our fate is in His hands only and we need to internalize that. One terrorist can do much harm, ch”v, or a thousand can do none. Whether I would have agreed with the deal or not, I will pray for Gilad’s safe return and have faith that Hashem will keep our streets safe, which He can do regardless how ‘crowded’ it is, should we be zoche.
<<pause while I put away my soap box>>
Sounds like pathetic behavior for a girl old enough to get married (I’m talking about moving a box between them, can’t speak on the rest)
Goq – if you’re spending Sukkos in your old hometown there are many of us who would have you over for meals if things got clustrophobic!! And midwesterners wife makes a mean dessert!
onegoal: were you expecting different?
AYC – I usually am careful to speak to my listener but since I dont know you this may be all wrong. If so, PLEASE forgive me. I just wanted to give you the answer I always give myself in these situations. In regard to what you said about not being able to find the simchas Hachayim and that was her essence – Every time I find myself on the threshold of a mitzvah or needing to be b’simcha (Yom tovim especially) I feel sucked in by the sadness of loss or hurt. And when the opportunity is over I can almost hear the yetzer hora say “mission accomplished” and I feel even worse. Tell yourself that you are going to let bits of her neshama live through you by smiling or thinking of a happy thought today, even momentarily, and know you are doing it special for her. She can get the zchus of your mitzva (simcha)and you will feel her living with you. It sometimes makes me feel closer. Bittersweet happy, but still better than the deep emptiness. And since I have been wallowing in sadness this whole week (so far), I guess I am really talking to myself.
I wish I knew your number, I could talk all night about this. Alone in a (B”H)crowded house, and so sad.
80- Amen!
sorry didnt mean to post that please remove
There is another aspect to dialysis, too. My dad was on dialysis for years and when he had to wake up at 4:30 am and shovel out his car from the snow so he could spend three hours in a clinic, or take a taxi in on Yom Tovim, or dread storms that would block the streets and prevent him from getting to the clinic that day he personally would have loved a transplant option. And btw he chose the 4:30 slot so he could continue working full time. But he would not hear of me undergoing surgery on his behalf and when he was finally ‘sick enough’ to ‘make the list’, they told him he was too old to qualify (this was many years ago). So this is not a medical opinion and I speak for nobody but my dad. It is just a view from another side. Also, dialysis causes a drop in blood pressure and once when he was sick they wouldn’t/coudn’t dialize him becuase his blood pressure wasn’t stable enough and it was very uncomfortable for him.
When faced with the question of transplant and whether or not donating is what Hashem wants from us what WE personally decided was to go ahead and try (with a sense of commitment). We wanted to do it and figured (on our basic level of emunah) that if it is not what Hashem wants from us then one of the hundreds of things that would disqualify us would be present. We could know we did our hishtadlus, know we get the mitzvah for our intent and thats the end of it. When we ended up a match we felt that perhaps that was an indication that that was what Hashem wanted from us. Of course we spoke to our Rav, (and our kids, but not for a psak) but it helped give us direction. Instead of sitting and making decisions about things that may not even be shiach, we tried to see if we could get hints from Hashem and take each step as it came.
Thanks everyone, Hashem has been very kind. I dont want to interfere with the thread or topic so I will step back.
Happiest, I am not sure what you meant about being bothered by the comment, and I certainly have no problem at all with the concept of someone seeing the whole subject differently than we did. It wasn’t even the subject at hand that I was commenting on. I was just getting stuck (as I often do) on the idea of not being accepting that other peoples opinions may be valid when different, and telling them they are incorrect. Please continue with the topic, it is very important. And thanks again.
pba – I’m not sure where your bias comes from but I can assure you that our donation advocates where very much a part of the medical community. And maybe you know of a DIFFERENT post op protocol, but you should never be so presumptuous as to think you are the one with the ONLY post op protocol. With the hours and pages of warnings, risks, forewarnings etc that they handed out to us pre-op, none of them were any you spoke of. Maybe there is more than one take on what is necessary, correct or appropriate after a transplant, even in the medical community.
pba – I think you were trying to be funny but it didnt work. Must be spending too much time in Chicago.
Holy kugel – My husband donated most of his liver two weeks ago to my sister. Even tho the recipient died days later, for unrelated and unknown reasons, he was very happy he did his hishtadlus. It is an unbelievable mitzvah that is obviously not for everyone but if the mods want to give out my email, either one of us would be more than happy to ‘speak’ to you about it. And the kidney surgery is much less invasive so kal v’chomer it’s worth considering. As far as being a part of their zchusim – I always learned that giving torah to someone who then gives it over or changes his life because of it gives you a part in thier mitzvos. So even more so wouldn’t giving a chance at life give you a part of the good they do with it? Definitely worth checking out!
I dont know if I am waiting for Moshiach for the right reasons or not but I just lost my second and remaining sister (see “Please Daven” thread) and both my parents have died in the last six years. I know there are plenty of people worse off than me but I would give anything for Moshiach to come to see and hold them again. I cant believe anything material could stop me from running after him. And my kids cry for Moshiach so that they can see their aunt. Like I said, perhaps we are all wrong in our motivation, but I hope that Misoch Lo Lishma, Ba Lishma.
And observanteen, thanks – those friendly comments make a difference. Especially at high stress moments.
ayc – when all else fails . . . google it!
pretty cool
I assume they’re already in his suitcase but I will check. Thanks for the reminder, now you can share in the zchus!
Anti rejection meds are amazing now and rejection isn’t as common as it was.
Candy – refuah Shlaima to everyone. You know I for one will be davening for them 😉 (And giving Hakaras Hatov to Hashem for the amazing things medical science can do these days.)
realbrisker-Oh gosh, it was HaLeiVi. Someone (thought it was you) said they saw the post the OP was referring to and I was just curious to know how they figured it out from the OP’s post. Sorry if it sounded confrontational. I usually work very hard to avoid confrontation.
Huh? I was just wondering how you knew which post the OP was referring to. The rest was just my comment on the topic. Not sure why you got that impression. 🙁
realbrisker- how do you know which post he was talking about? I personally agree that there are topics and comments that are not appropriate and am grateful when the ones that go way over are erased, but, as I have said many times, I consider it my problem and something I should deal with on my own (stop reading or posting). My job is not to change the world when I haven’t finished with myself yet. (and tweaks to the kids too, lol). But the funny thing is that the topic of abuse (I’m assuming that was the upsetting topic) is NOT something I would put an end to. I think people need to understand what is out there in the private way it has been expressed. Abuse from others and otd issues as well. My problem (again, my personal issue) are the silly, drinking related, put-down related, sometimes pushing the tznius edge, posts.
ditto papa bear!
Just another tribute to Chicagoans – a whole bunch of posts praising our home town (hometown?) without putting down anyone else’s!!! GO US!!!
Shuli – you may not realize that “duh” means -“everyone knows that, stupid”
haifagirl – so, you’ve been to francisco. . .how ’bout Richmond? 😉
“OK. You win. Stay grouches. Turn the other cheek (turn over, continue sleeping). Pharoh did it ???? ?????? ????, you can do it too.”
Maybe some of us just don’t like being put down for have nothing to comment. It’s worth considering.
eyefortruth – in her defense I have to tell you that ever since my teenager told me the troupes were going in to gaza I have been googling, arutz sheva-ing and YWN-ing and have found NOTHING!!!!! I even reached a point where I told her I don’t think her information is reliable because I can’t find any news about it anywhere. I think that is what prompted leahs post. And that was why I clicked on this thread.
I have to agree with popa – being right can be done in a quieter, less threatening tone. And I believe you don’t hear how angry you sound because you say as much, but it comes across very harsh to some of us listening. Which is not the same as saying we disagree with you, I just find the tone of these posts VERY intimidating.
i thought 2021 was a year. Like ‘class of 2021’. But that would be a LOT of college!
I’m pretty sure smartcookie was trying to tell you that your cousin would never want to hurt you, that he is just suffering from blatant ignorance, as do most people when they know abusers in platonic relationships.
(**details embellished for the sake of support**)
Go eat some chocolate, you’ll feel better (put it on my tab)