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Refuah SHelaimas all around
I actually overstayed. My symptoms were seemingly unaware that the omicron was supposed to be mild or about the shortened quarantine and I had myself in a self imposed exile. I won’t begrudge you the complaint tho, file away.
The times may change but the familiar is never far out of reach.
Thanks for the chizuk. Hearing people come to support someone who is hurting always inspires me to up my game. Yasher koach.
I’m free. Baruch Hashem!
Do you harass degree holding moms for staying home to raise her children leaving the family on food stamps or just people who learn?
Do you harass fathers who take off a decade to get a phD while his family lives on welfare or just people who learn?
Do you harass college graduates who struggle as well or just people who learn?
AAQ at 11:12 –
“don’t think anyone would object to your husband’s and yours dedication to Torah if you are using your own funds ”
AAQ at 5:53 –
“If your husband prefers learning, then his mother feels less obligated to help with him with something he does not bother to attend to himself. ”
“your husband can figure out how to work for a couple of hours a week. you said a Rav permitted it. Did you ask the Rav whether you are permitted to be machmir and not do that?”AAQ at 9:09-
“Again, I don’t intend to put my nose into someone else’s family.”based on past postings i’m not exactly sure what value your opinion or perspective offer. but hey, you know what commonsaychel would say about opinions if the mods would let him.
This is truly a moment for tears. People looking down on kollel is nothing new. Same as people looking down on anyone trying to be as close to Hashem as they can. The harder you work, the more pressure you get to stop. That is what nisyonos and the yetzer hara have built into the system.
So if people want to talk about kollel families as if they are lowly or uneducated, that will follow them til 120 and I need to learn to let Hashem defend His own. Anyone stupid enough to say that knows inside it is a grueling level of learning and disciline that they probably can’t compete with so better to nullify it (standard defense mechanism by the way)
But now we have a new level of yiredas hadoros. It isn’t just to make the kollel family into something disdainful, we have decide that they are worth celebrating. But not their connection to Hashem, their hasmada and perseverance. Nope. We will celebrate them if they can figure out their finances! Do you even register the weight of your thoughts before you put them out there in public? It’s not Torah immersion that makes us sing, it is freedom from giving them anything for their sad choices. Or just them not taking from anyone even if it’s not you. That is how you talk about people who spend all day learning Torah. And you aren’t ashamed?
Or, I’ll try to judge favorably here, perhaps that is how we deal with all of our friends and aquaintences, right? It’s totally normal to count your tax bill and compare it to your friend’s income. I have no doubt you asked your friend whose child is in sloan kettering if they gave up their take out before grabbing handouts from RCC. And for sure you chastised the battered woman staying in the shalva shelter when you saw her take her kids out for ice cream. Can you imagine using community funds when you have enough money for ice cream!!? And tomchei Shabbos?! Oh I sure hope you get addresses and account numbers before you donated a single dime! I heard they bought clothes at Walmart instead of the thrift shop. Perhaps your cousin should fill you in on what he really did with his tax credit. I think some of it may have gone to his portfolio instead of his kids.
I guess if you treat ALL your friends this way, it isn’t so offensive.
Shmully! Is that you?
Amom- since when is learning in kollel ‘not working’? He has hours, schedule, obligation to attend and produce and likely some compensation. If that’s “not working” try selling it to some couch potato who also doesn’t want to work and see if it sells.
Amom- not sure how TLIK fits in here but unfortunately there are some here who never stop complaining about the burden day school and kollel is putting on them, as if they are giving you funds that are being grabbed away from taken olam or interfaith causes they support. Perhaps the haskalah movement hired them as grant writers and you are hurting their potential donations. It’s hard to know what, besides anti torah drives them but watch out. In a minute expect a long lecture from another of the group’s merry men on how your life choice is actually everyone’s business.
🙋🏻♂️🙋🏻♀️🙋🏻♀️🙋🏻♀️🙋🏻♂️
Again, not sure what you are responding to. My point? Please don’t reference me to make points since I don’t appreciate being misreferenced.
I have not found this to be so in your conversational posts but in this as well as your covid “platforms ” i hear a lot of passion, with not much fact based information.
Beautiful response
Be careful, you are being groomed.
“As Syag noticed, I don’t like loaded terms like “frum” that everyone interprets as he wants, usually to exclusion of others.”
where do you come up with these things? I said you don’t like frum. I didn’t say you don’t like the terminology.
AAQ – “R Feinstein says that non-Torah psychiatrists are preferred to psychologists – they just give you pills and do not mess with the values.”
that doesn’t mean a non frum psychiatrist as opposed to a psychologist, they have two different roles and cannot be interchanged. He meant you should go with a frum psychologist as opposed to not but that a non frum psychiatrist is okay.
other than to put down the schools again, and yet again, your last line served no other point
akuperma- not even sure where that fits in here. A monster is someone with no regard for human life/suffering. It isn’t political, not even sure if this guy votes. That may be true when non monsters are called monsters due to politics. But when someone like this is called a monster, how can that be political?
I don’t think that was what the thread was about. Murder isn’t less of an evil than how the news presents it, the news, and apparently even the president, will ignore evil unless it fits their narrative. That to me is much more spooky.
Moshe – it sounds like you did the right thing for you. But why generalize this? Personally I wouldn’t want a therapist who encourages me to do something against halacha. And out of context I have no idea if his “advice” was actually good or not. But who cares really because it needs to be therapeutic for you. If someone does not feel safe, trusting and understood by a therapist then they will not be able to grow from them.
My friend was married to a ger who converted to escape from himself. After his second child he started to have a relationship with a male coworker. He was distraught and went to a therapist who told him he needed to be true to himself and not forfeit himself for his wife and kids. With adequate convincing he decided to leave his wife, and life and the therapist offered to have the wife come in to break the news together. Even putting religion aside this is not the way to go. If he was frum or had regard for religion and tried to work on repairing the marriage, who is to say it would not have worked?
I am unfortunately very wary of mental health professionals and do a lot of vetting before referring, but on the other side of the coin there are a lot of people who don’t want to accept some things they are told and spin it around to others as bad advice in order to get (mis)validated and refrain from the pain of change and growth.
jackk – I hear your point but I think you are just being defensive. She didn’t say she wants daily updates and changing her words to that misses her point. We never even got a motive. You may say so what. Okay, go ahead. But that never happens. Biden never called or visited. That is very unusual. when 6 kids are in the hospital for a WEEK after a car deliberately plows into a Xmas parade? Be honest. if it wasn’t a complaint against biden would you really be saying this is all status quo? c’mon man.
“Bail is not meant to keep non-convicted poor people behind bars.”
please, for the sake of my believing you aren’t one of those posters who spins everything into a pretzel, this wasn’t an issue of helping poor people. The man had driven over his girlfriend with his car. that would probably qualify him as dangerous by anyone’s standards. Treating him as a “poor person” is putting the public in harms way. I did not think that that was what bail reform was for.Maskim!
Maskim
“That doesn’t give the right to people to cause others to do the same,”
that is a very odd thing to say.
ask a rov about the audio. Nobody needs a bunch of uninformed anonymous opinions. On the other hand you are right. We should care about the victims and I think that can be done without discussing the details of their cases. Be supportive. Be empathetic. It may save a life.
you sound so grown up for such a youngster
I can’t tell if you are anti frum or just a bigot.
“They absolutely pick up! We are teaching kids that academics is hashkofa.”
there is no chance in the world that you don’t deliberately misread what I write.
I did not say: level of academics than the hashkofos
I said:
who seem to worry more about the level of academics than the hashkofos.I will translate for you. These parent put more emphasis on the academics that their children learn, then they put on the hashkafos they learn. Sometimes pushing to forgo Torah learning for more secular learning. This poor prioritizing of secular OVER religious gives a very bad, sad, wrong message to the children.
How bout asking all those school/educational professionals and rabbis that you have brought so many other questions to. Honestly, that particular question is appropriate (I’m talking my opinion). It’s the ‘having a discussion about the CW story’ topic that I think is wrong.
I said NOTHING about the current case. I don’t agree that it should even be a topic here. I was responding to your oft repeated mantra on the general topic. If you think I got it wrong, go do your own research.
but that’s my point. why would you change your opinion because they had different experiences in their daled amos? My experience on here and in real life and in articles I have read is that there are people coming from public school systems or more modern schooling who seem to worry more about the level of academics than the hashkofos. And don’t think their kids don’t pick up on it.
what stops people from saying, “Here are my own impressions from the few schools that I know well”. Is there a podium here that I’m missing?
AAQ – please tell me the truth, how many schools have you “researched” to come up with this? Same as GH, you speak (not always so kindly) about the schools and their system and you can’t be speaking about more than 2 or maybe 3. Keep in mind your grand plans may not apply in any way to the other hundreds
GH – you shouldn’t be making general statements when you surely don’t have exposure to more than a small handful of schools in your dated Amos. I don’t know if your above observations are true or not by you, but they do not ring true for bunches of other schools. Not at all.
ymribiat – well said. And I also thought it was about l”h, tho never thought about that whole scapegoat thing.
Randomex – thank you for popping in to say that. Don’t know if anyone gets it but it is always worth a try.
Leave it to Joseph, lover of all things violent, to jump in always to make sure a potential pedophile is protected. Never hear a word about wanting emes, never a word of concern for a murdered soul or that there is less than 5% chance of it being false report. Nope, just defend the man’s reputation because he is, after all,……wait for it
a man
” Obviously you feel education and chinuch is fake and unimportant so you don’t care.”
yes, i have gotten that impression from some of his other posts as well
spoken like a true aspie
2scents – 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
GH- cute 😁 i meant one of the supporters. That was my point, the democrat citizens don’t condone the crime. But are you willing to vote against the democrats who do? Will you vote them out of office?
Well that was pretty off topic. We were talking about the democrats who support/allow the crime surge. You can just tell us all that you aren’t one of them
The average Joe on the street democrats aren’t okay with it, they just won’t stop supporting the officials who are letting it happen. They probably aren’t willing to see how it connects to their own choices.
I know several people with autism who have no problem saying so if it is relevant.