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I never liked dogs, even before a german shepard randomly came up to me on the street and bit me in the stomach. I think they smell and their drool grosses me out. We have a bunny though, and we are house sitting one while his owner is at camp. And we have two cockatiels, a turtle and a newt and some fish. Our hamsters never lasted long cuz we had mice and they would get into the mouse poison when they would sneak out of the cage 🙁 The rest are doing pretty well. I really wanted a cat but we have allergies here.
Amein.
midwesterner -I had a feeling it was you but I was relying on “Ishto KiGufo”.
SaysMe – thanx!
yc _ verrry funny 😉 Please don’t tell me your parents didn’t get an invite :0
Frum Jews and animals: why can’t they get along together?
I dunno, in my house they get along so well I sometimes have trouble telling which is which.
Thanks! The Boy-of-Honor did an awesome job and your cake was great. You are amazingly talented!
Tizku Lmitzvot
Great poem! I feel the same way about songs. That was why I stopped listening to secular music, I found myself very influenced by songs and their words/stories. For me, it wasn’t always a good thing 🙁 But I think it helped 🙂
Avraham Fried, MBD and uncle moishy circa 1980’s
Probably Barry Manilow and Billy Joel too but it’s been a while
why would you want to eat liver?
Gosh you sound great! Much of my silence (though I DO strive for silence sometimes) at this time is due to being off of work for the summer which means a) I don’t have an open computer throughout my day b) my kids are home and I try not to be online even if I can, and c) since the kids having nothing much to do all day, I don’t often find the computer free :}
At this moment though, I am posting a lot because I am SUPPOSED to be writing a bar mitzvah speech and nothing gets me online faster than having something ELSE that’s much more important to do!!
I don’t usually call out to anyone who isn’t posting, just incase they are working on abstaining, but I do think of you all and hope life is starting to look more transparent. If you keep focused I find that the smoke screen slowly disappears. I can even anticipate some of the hard knocks I get before they come because I know my weaknesses and when I see myself tripping over them I always expect a shove from behind just to up the ante. And if I pass . . . well I feel even prouder than ever!!!!
It’s there for the asking – but I do NOT mean to imply it comes without blood, sweat and tears as they say. Just don’t forget to want it while yo are bleeding, sweating and crying 😉
shopping – your paper is worthless if you keep forgetting to add your sig 🙂
Whatever chicagoans say is the real way. The rest of you have the accents and funny words.
I was assuming you were referring to “unclumping” the canned tuna so you could mix it with mayo (or whatever). Tuna is flakey, so if you use the prongs of a fork to push down and rake it with small strokes, you should break apart the clumps. Maybe I’m not explaining it well, I’ll tape a demo and upload something to youtube for you 🙂
welcome back! finally a topic I actually know something about. I also mash tuna with a fork but don’t press down with the bottom of the fork, use it like a rake with the curved back facing up. Works for me.
My mom wore her wedding band exactly where my dad had put it, on her index finger, until the day she died.
Incidently, she wore HER mothers wedding band on her ring finger. When my mother died, my sister put them both on a chain and wore them around her neck. She handed them to me for safe keeping when they wheeled her to surgery and I put them around my neck, which is where they remain.
[ $ ] a dollar bill
🙂
bla bla said NOTHING that was spreading rumors about anyplace. She said to be careful. She didn’t tell you of who or why. And if she did have specific information and was watering it down to a simple warning, than you are all fools to bash her comments instead of looking into that camp and any others. Your responses are exactly what I got when I tried reporting an abusive staff member at the school. Ostriches!
Love it shticky. My daughter was with a friend of ours who is deaf and she ran to me saying, “look what I learned to say in silent language!”
Love it shticky. My daughter was with a friend of ours who is deaf and she ran to me saying, “look what I learned to say in silent language!”
Yossi: I just thought it was funny that his name hasnt been mentioned in months but then you thought of him at the exact same time that he landed back home after 6 months away.
yossi z. – you have nevua, as you posted, Onegoal was walking off the plane!!!!
SaysMe (was rushing before so I left this out)- Your comments are so right. I can’t believe you are that same person who was flailing so badly not too long ago. You seem to have all the right words and understanding and that means that eventually you will learn to pull it out for yourself one day. I remember when my best, best friend got married and I felt like she really deserted me. I wrote a poem but can’t find it. I keep looking though cuz I wonder if it would give any chizuk to you. How is that relationship going? You really sound great. You young ‘uns are so impressive, if only I was as in touch at your age. I was 19 when my sister died (which was only a month from this friends wedding) and that’s when I really developed a close bond with Hashem. I know I was a deep thinker but can’t remember if it was productive or not.
kapusta – Thanks! I think the problem is less about wanting them to want me and more about wanting them to need me. They are really wonderful though and I have gotten LOTS of chizuk since that poem was written [each friend I show it to offers more :)]
blabla – I wish I knew how to reach you, I’d send you a care package! Enjoy if you can, we’re rooting for you.
SaysMe: Thanks. Not only did you not say anything wrong but you are very right. I tried to write a poem about my other source of pain but it didn’t work. It starts off in one rhythm and goes to another and ends as a narrative. I could NOT bring myself to feel my words so they are choppy. It is not even a sad topic and yet it leaves me so hurt. I am entering a new phase of having 5 teenagers in my house and my role has changed drastically. It is a transition of phases and it is FINE. But I am struggling with being THRILLED that my boys are growing, and being devastated that they don’t “need me” like they used to. I am printing it anyway cuz nobody here will laugh at me 🙂 Take the message, even though I cannot get it to come out right. It’s a topic I haven’t seen before and many of you can probably relate from the “other side”
Holding them near while letting them go
Totally dependent they start out their lives,
Looking to you for their every need.
Holding them in your arms for months as they learn to survive in the world around them.
They toddle away, but never too far,
Back to your arms when they tire or they thirst.
They know they are safe and they know they are loved and they love to be close to your heart.
They sit on your lap, they lay in your bed, they roam but they always come back.
Spending year after year with a boy in my arms.
Holding onto me tight as I went through my day.
Then they grew tall and broad as they entered their teens
Thank Gd I am no longer the center of their universe, the answer to their problems or their source of food.
They have friends, they have the car, they have each other.
They have me, too, when they need me.
They call and they share and they listen and talk.
They ask me questions and they share their dilemmas
And when they are quiet and their sentences are short the rejection runs cold thru my veins.
The maturing and independence that I davened for leaves me empty and sad.
Though we remain very close, and they are baffled by my misperception of their distance
I miss them. Though they are right here.
Closer than they ever were. But my need to give, pulls me to want to be needed.
My misconception that not being needed means not being loved.
My poor self confidence wants them to want me, to depend on me.
But they are here, and they are mine, and my struggles are not their thoughts.
And I fight not to make it their burden, for they would not understand. I am their mother. And they love me. And one day, when they are men, and their babies are in their arms, they will hug me again. And I will wonder why I ever doubted them.
SaysMe: I definitely read here. Not much posting though because I am working on breaking the habit. I am not at work during the summer and I cancelled our home internet (even though it was filtered) so posting would mean sitting in front of my kids with a phone in my face. My husband and I have always tried VERY hard to practice what we preach. And I definitely don’t want my kids to see me with a phone in my face. Especially now that my seminary girl is back. So I am working hard on breaking the habit. And I don’t count the poetry thread as internet cuz it’s different than the other parts of the CR (I don’t do any other blogs).
Long winded, sorry. I wish I could write another poem or two but I am in protective mode. Not letting too many emotions touch the surface. I am making a Bar mitzvah without my sister. It is so painful. I actually just avoided the whole deal and the clock kept ticking and I did nothing. Pretended it would just do itself. Then he asked me if I finished the invitations and I knew it wasn’t good. A good friend asked me for the date and place I had in mind and then called the place and made the reservation. I got everything ready to be mailed and I hope they will get to everyone before the party. My wonderful son deserves better so I told him what my “road block” is and he said I shouldn’t think it’s just me who is sad to make a party without her.
I am sure it will all work out, it is just moving very slowly. My friends have been life savers and that fills me with guilt. Mostly because I don’t go to simchas, none really. It was too stressful to get out of the house with lots of little kids so I decided I would just stay home til they were all older. I didn’t really expect it to go on for 20 years but truthfully it doesn’t bother me at all.
So now all the friends who have simchas I didn’t attend, are helping me make my simcha. And I of course feel like a low life who doesn’t deserve any of it. But I am so done crying about it, now I am just trying to catch the boat before it leaves the harbor and make sure my son has the party he deserves (we do a home made desert open house so we really rely on our friends).
I hope you aren’t sorry you asked. I didn’t mean to make you all feel bad, really I am doing okay now. And I go thru phases like this. But I am grateful that I never fall into those abysses that you all write about. I wish I could make some of your pain go away. Somehow.
You are still being a bit vague. Is she not as pretty as she was, or is she not bentching when she finishes eating?
Is she letting dishes sit in the sink, or is she forgetting to daven in the morning?
You don’t have to answer but you should understand that there is a big difference between those two types of changes.
smartcookie – I agree with you
Goq – You know I am always looking out for you so I hope this 3 dimensional answer fits into this 2 dimensional square. I don’t know the person who said it so I may be way off but I feel bad that she is being attacked. It sounded to me like she was trying to give you chizuk and for the reasons smartcookie laid out. When people bring up the holocaust, it is because they think of it as pervasive torture that destroyed lives. Not everyone understands that the pain you experienced could even come close. I do understand it, so I might have chosen a different analogy, but assuming it was said in context, she must see you as you are now, and have no clue about the depth of your misery or how far you’ve come.
I just reread your OP and I see you weren’t asking us about her comment at all so I guess I didn’t really answer your post. Sorry about that, I just don’t want you to have something else to feel bad about. I think those of us who suffered are angry at being understood, but MANY of us, for various reasons, did a bad job making our pain known. I for one was always angry that my mother didn’t read my mind and figure it out herself. We did a bad PR job and now we pay for it. So forgive her for choosing poor wording, take her message as chizuk to continue on your path to greatness, and pray that you will never make that mistake with someone else.
🙂
Most of my memories have been repressed
Ditto
And for some stupid reason Im still finding it funny
Mazel Tov CA!
SG – I can’t believe I actually laughed out loud at that. Must have been the expectedness of it.
bpt: If you are anything like you seem from your posts, I’d be honored. And fyi, my dad used those post card inserts from magazines so business cards sounds about right.
mobico-Not so.
I hope to Gd they do accept his mussar because we have no idea what the zchus of that mitzvah can do for him.
bpt – speaking of shidduch rules, are there any other hygiene issues that I should know about other than tissue and floss related ones before setting my kids up with yours?
I dont see how it is a kiddush Hashem but I know his family and while this doesnt necessarily contradict their lifestyle, they would never have considered showing up bareheaded. They happen to be a family of beautiful people (inside and out).
Hi gang at CR
I wasnt ticked off. I hear you and others express pain about the way shuls and yeshivas and communities treat people and label people and black ball people and I wanted to clarify that B”H this is not the case everywhere. It is not something that yeshivas do, it is something that some yeshivas do. I think I was pretty clear and dont know why you translated it to be anger but maybe that just proves I am a fool who should never have thought my ideas were worth sharing in the first place.
Bygirl: lol. That was why I specifically said “of the universe” 🙂
Its pretty irrelevant how many Jews live there. My point is ONLY that people should not look out their front window and tell people what “Jews” do. It worries me to think that someone less affiliated will read these statements written by NYers about Yeshivas and shuls and have false negative impressions that it is inherently a Jewish issue. When I have a problem in my shul I cannot call it a community problem. When I have a complaint against the community, it would be presumptous for me to consider it a “midwestern” problem, let alone a global one. I would need to state it as a local issue, or a local issue that I have heard from others etc. Just to be on the safe side with motze shem rah issues, especially since we are speaking negatively, we should consider who we are including in our broad strokes.
Wolf and others: Can you PLEASE be mindful to say NY yeshivos or NY shuls. I am very unsettled by peoples habit to reference the Jews by stating what is done in one small corner of the universe. It is unfair to call something a Jewish problem when it hardly applies in many other Jewish communities around the world. Maybe you should consider moving West.
That was exactly how I understood it. And I wanted to second your message. They gave us table plaques for our bar mitzvah tables asking people to guard their tongues. They are a wonderful organization.
DY: yasher koach and tizke lmitzvos. I try to as well
My sons rebbe told them that it is assur for them to enter a house that has internet. I have thoughts that he is a decendant of the nachash.
Tznius is not a mitzva I take lightly.
I am aware of my typo but the point remains the same
The voice of Torah true Jews is dwindling? Are you serious?! We dare to disagree with your viewpoint and you dare to accuse us of not being Torah Jews? Your self righteousness has surpassed the point of offensive.
🙁
Goq: I dont think you read his post correctly. He didnt say the guy was right for feeling that way, he just said it might be the case. And then he sensitively pointed out that it happened to him as well.
hat (snood): always
black: always
socks: yes
shoes: only when I have to