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I believe you are correct, sam4321. Arranged marriages aren’t as picky as dating marriages are, and they seem to work out better. That is true when you compare the marriages of today’s daters to yesteryears (thousands of years as you said) arranged marriages, or even if you compare the marriages of today’s daters to today’s marriages that were arranged. There are less divorces in the latter of both comparisons. The arranged marriages also seem happier with less “expectations and demands” from each other.
Even moreso, look at the fact that arranged marriages (today and yesteryear) are generally much closer in age than the average age gap between people married via dating.
You’ll notice the age gap issue developed roughly in conjunction with the move from arranged marriages to marriages via dating. And only among the communities that changed to dating. The communities that still continue arranged marriages today do not have the age gap crisis.
So you may have a point that the relatively recent change to dating for marriage instead of arranged marriages (as was done through Jewish history) is the root cause of the age gap crisis. Reversing this may be the solution, if that is attainable.
apushutayid:
In a nutshell, the way this new program helps towards closing the age gap is as follows. By encoraging shadchanim to focus on older girls (as younger girls are not eligible to participate in this new program) with a greater financial incentive, the shadchanim will be focusing more on the older, higher paying, girls in the program at the expense of focusing less on the younger girls who aren’t eligible to join.
Thus, through these redirected focus and efforts of the shadchanim, more shidduchim will be produced among the older girls and less among the younger girls. So, inevitably, this will cause girls (on average) to get married at an older age than currently.
(Unfortunately older girls who aren’t participating in the program will also get less attention and shidduchim.)
If he is Sephardic, he has no problem remarrying even without a HMR.
It’s a good point. This discussion is mostly relevant only to a segment of klal yisroel rather than to everyone. If someone is not Ashkenazic and his wife refuses to accept a get, he doesn’t need a Heter Meah Rabbonim to be able to remarry. Only an Ashkenazic guy would need the heter.
My LOR says I would need to first kasher those keilim before I could eat from them, yitaynigwut.
Why not yitaynigwut? If your keilim were used with food products with no hechsheirum, and the vast majority of rabbonim are choishesh they may be treif, how can they eat from your keilum (utensils or serving bowls or food mixers used to prepare those products without hechsheirum)?
Sam: Those greater that attempted to explain it to you didn’t understand it themselves, didn’t agree with it, or you couldn’t comprehend their explanation?
BSD:
What traits do you use to determine if a rabbi is good for the situation or not? What do you look for and how do you make the determination?
Right, so the caterer can prevent him from entering the minyan (assuming there’s no issur to stop someone from coming to your minyan.) So what’s the concern? It’s up to the caterer whether to allow him to enter the minyan. If he allows it, there is nothing untoward.
As an aside, ZNVZLC would in fact apply to copying music in a case where the person would certainly not have otherwise purchased it.
Toi and apy are correct that this is a case of zeh nehneh vzeh lo chaser and is entirely mutter (assuming the OP would not have bought a room through the caterer in any circumstance.)
DY, ZNVZLC may be a ptur and not always be a heter but that is more relevant to a case where a person is actually using someone else’s property. In this case the OP is not even using the caterer’s property!
No one said “it would be just fine living under Arab rule.” In golus no where is pretty or fine for Jews. Yet nothing you brought, as horrible as those events under the Arabs certainly were, disputes that living under christian rule was far worse over time. Both long ago, as the many events I’ve cited, AND recent times, as the European holocaust alone demonstrates.
As far as Jewish rule, aside from the many halachic concerns, on the practical level we see a state of constant wars, terrorism, suicide bombings, rocket attacks and a state of constant war. Even compared to areas of non-Jewish rule where Jews reside, it is less safe under current Jewish rule.
Christians committed far far more whole community genocide on us. That’s where tach vtat comes from. Chmielnitzki. Poland. Russia. Lithuania. It was far far worse in Europe. Inquisitions, killed after being blamed for the Black death, expulsions from country after country, crusades, blood libels. Then the holocaust. With so much preceding it over centuries and millenia. Incomparable to the Arabian pennisula.
Nope, it was never good for us anywhere in golus, including under the Arabs as you’ve mentioned their atrocities. But it was incomparibly worse under the Christians. The Jews in the Arab countries werent subject to the same frequency or atrociousness as the Church subjected us to. Though as you’ve said it wasn’t good anywhere. But the Arabs were certainly instigated by the zionists to commit much worse, even considering their ignoble history from before. It cant be demonstrated what if, but I’d venture if not for the political demand for statehood in Palestine, it would still have been better under muslim rule than under christian rule.
Not to mention the Crusades, Spanish expulsion/Inquisition (when the Jews actually ran to the Arab lands), Chelminki massacres… But the holocaust itself makes everything else almost seem small.
Haleivi, the Jews in the Arab lands experienced nothing like the pograms that occurred in Russia and Poland. Not to mention the “little things” all over Europe, like blood libels, Christman eve killings after Mass, etc. And the holocaust itself happened in Christian Europe, something monumentally incomparable to anything the Jews in the Arab lands ever experienced in history
I totally agree with Rav Kelman. The matzif is horrible. He is so right. Too many girls who were totally tznius before marriage feel marriage is a license to discard them. That is a large part why we have this big problem in our public sphere.
Haleivi, the Jews lived a lot better under the Turks than under the Christians. Until the zionists radicalized the Arabs (even before the state), while it wasnt ever good under them, it was better than the alternative. And even with their own state now, it is one of the least safe country for Jews to live in.