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BP Totty. Why do you think the learning system should be changed. Have you discussed this with R’ Malkiel Kotler or one of our other precious Gedolim?!
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I don’t know of any rationalization. It seems to be a Kulah that some Americans have adopted although I’m not sure why. When I was in Eretz Yisroel it seemed to me that everyone was Makpid on sleeping in the Sukkah.
XBP- I don’t know if youre still following this post. In any event, most people have been suggesting coping mechanisms and other stopgap measures. In some situations these are helpful but very commonly not. I would advise you to talk to a professional. Perhaps your case is just “the blues,” but perhaps not. You have nothing to lose by having a professional consultation and a world (and a happier life) to gain. Best wishes.
Artchill- Your first claim -“from my perspective there is little therapy will do for the person.” Is your perspective worth a dime? Do you know people who went for therapy and were unsuccessful? Have you counselled people?
Your second claim “teens are highly unlikely…” Granted, they rarely have the resources to call a therapist. Hopefully though more and more yeshivos will employ therapists. In any event, I’m not sure why you assume that people will automatically fall into a downward spiral. I know plenty of people who deal with all kinds of issues that haven’t left them “off the derech.”
Shimmel: Thank you for your comment. What exactly am I wrong about; please explain. Secondly, i’m glad you received guidance and properly dealt with the challenge that Hashem gave you. Furthermore, you contradicted yourself. In the first posting you stated “i’d rather take the girl that I know didn’t have issues.” In your more recent post you asserted “The therapy part doesn’t bother you it’s the issue” and you claim that if you “knew the issue” you’d perhaps be OK with it. Please get your opinion clear and then we can have an intelligent discussion.
Artchill: Thank you for your posting. I’m not sure what your point is. Perhaps you meant that people who have challenging familial relationships are unsuitable to be married. Maybe you are correct; that would pasul many many people, however, from getting married. The point I was making was that people go to therapy for very regular, mundane difficulties and receive a lot of help in many situations. Call these “issues” if you want- I’ll call it Life. If someone had a close relationship with a genuine Talmid Chochom who assisted him in dealing with challenges of all sorts- would you also pasul such a person? Undoubtedly no. Have a Gut Yom Tov. I really am curious for you to clarify your position.
Well shimmel, well put, your moach is in the Himmel. Your understanding of therapy is juvenile at best. For many people, therapy is about sorting out their relationship with their overbearing mother or domineering father. Perhaps they have too much pressure at work or yeshiva. It’s about learning how to handle life’s challenges and grow. If these are “issues” and “instability” you don’t know what life is about. It’s about conquering challenges. Some people need a mentor or Rebbe or in some situations – a therapist.
Furthermore, your first assertion is difficult to understand. Perhaps you haven’t thought it through yourself. Is what you meant to say that secular people only care about externals? That’s not exactly what you said and isn’t true anyway. Good luck running through your “stable” life of bliss.
First of all, i’d like to object to the statement you made “even normal people go to therapy.” This implies that in general, people who attend therapy are not “normal,” this is false.
second of all, I myself attended therapy for almost a year. Even though my original issue was taken care of B”h (anxiety) I continue to go because of the benefits. I have learned to deal with all sorts of stresses and challeges in a healthier more productive way. I would shout it feom the rooftops but unfortunately it would sully my reputation. I’ll just say this- If you have a hava amina to go to therapy GO GO GO! You have a world to gain and nothing to lose. Beezras Hashem the Frum world will become as educated as the secular world and accept and even encourage therapy.