striving

Wow it’s ridiculous how so many members of this forum seem to be looking for ways to put each other down! i.e. mosherose’s criticism of WolfishMusings. It’s really sad and I think that you should be careful before putting people down like that. It’s important to remember that the members of the CR are real people with real feelings. Isn’t being a mensch more important than hiddur mitzva (example from mosherose’s post —sorry mosherose I don’t mean to pick on you – it’s not just you… that post just caught my eye as an attempt to put someone down on a personal level)

I used to post here a bit and read the posts all the time… but it just made me sad to see the way people talk to each other.

🙁

I find that these types of threads keep coming up. People like to lament about the sorry state of our society today. Instead of just going in circles and being totally redundant, I think that people should try to brainstorm about ways to rise above these issues. For example: Okay shadchanim are totally judgmental about girls’ sizes but let’s try to raise our children in a way that allows them to not fall into that trap. Then we can have a constructive conversation about how to go about that. I don’t want to put anyone down or anything – I’m guilty of my fair share of complaining about this stuff, but I think that at a certain point it’s time to move past the complaining and on to bigger and better things. Like trying to find solutions (if not to the problem itself at least to our own mindsets).

haifagirl – Wow. You sound like such a special person. Reading your post honestly inspired me. It’s amazing the way you are able to maintain such a clear and focused yet hopeful perspective. Keep up your coolness!

lol jphone you crack me up. I totally hear what you’re saying! 😉

lol i don’t know what you guys are talking about. there are NO dancing ladies on my game!!! there are innocuous backgrounds and arrows that light up! go to stepmania.com to download the program and then you have to download song packs. i bought my dance mats on ebay. This is a link to those type of dance mats: http://cgi.ebay.com/2-Dance-Dance-Revolution-DDR-Dance-Pads-for-PC_W0QQitemZ320392184599QQcmdZViewItemQQptZVideo_Games_Accessories?hash=item4a98dcc317

if you need more specific instructions for downloading stuff let me know.

on the stepmania website, the safe songs to download are the winner songs on the left panel. any other user downloads i can’t vouch for.

lol you guys sound like a bunch of old fogies! us young folk thrive on booming loud music… just don’t stand too close to the speakers!

If a a tree falls in a forest and hits a mime, does anyone care?

(classic gary larson – farside comic – my personal favorite comic strip)

use a cholent bag!!!!

Hey, c.s.

So I’m 20 and single too. It’s sad that at 20 we feel this pressure that if we’re not engaged now, we’re never getting married.

Obviously, when thinking out this from a logical perspective, there is still hope for us to get married (lol). I mean we’re only 20 years old, for heaven’s sake! But at the same time, this shidduch crisis stuff is being shoved down our throats and we have to read about it in all the frum newspapers, magazines, and websites and (at least for me) spend some time commiserating with friends about fears of spinsterhood (chas v’shalom). (haha sorry about the run-on sentence to all you grammar noticers out there)

I mean personally, when it comes down to it, I realize that no matter how you look at it, 20 is NOT OLD and is in no way a time to start despairing (well no time is really a good time to start despairing ;-))

In terms of your mom’s slightly warped perspective, as others have mentioned, a lot of moms get kind of weird when it comes to shidduchim. Deep down they want what’s best for us, but their personal fears can get in the way of that real goal.

For example, I know a girl with a pretty crazy family situation where shidduchim were not being redt to her, period. She finally got a date with a guy who had serious issues. After the first date, she was totally not into it, but her mom kept encouraging her to go out with him more and she went out with him twice more even though she knew it wasn’t for her. That’s because to her mom, her daughter getting married would be a huge relief, a problem out of the way. Because her mother was so obsessed with the family situation and the urgency of getting her daughter married, she was blinded to the importance of looking out for her daughter’s best interests.

At the same time, though, you mentioned that you are going out with “outcasts.” Just because according to our scrutinizing society someone is considered an “outcast” – due to family circumstances, etc, doesn’t mean that he isn’t a great person. Take my friend for instance, she doesn’t get set up because of her family situation, but she’s a phenomenal person. It’s important to look past society’s views and try to see the person for who they are.

Anyways, other people have mentioned this but I’ll say it too. I think it’s so important to have a teacher/mentor to be able to speak to about all this stuff – someone who you can also discuss issues you’re having with your mom, etc. It’s important to have someone who is looking out for your best interests totally and is not so emotionally involved (like your mom). I have a teacher who I discuss dates with because she’s more objective than my mom is.

Good luck with everything and I hope that you find your bashert b’shaa tovah u’mutzlachas!

Does anyone know of music that is radio/nonjewish songs that are “turned jewish”? I think that this is a good tool for kiruv for certain individuals.

lol the guy who made it (wrote the songs) is like the frummest guy ever lol I know who it is

mod-80 are you serious?? you really hear mashin stone??? haha but context clues!!!! lol i bet it’s hard for you to understand people with accents too- right?

attention mods: as a frum website, i’m shocked that such topics are permitted as it is such a stumbling block for a person to speak lashon hara. It is actually considered lashon hara to say anything negative about a product, book, album put out by a yid because it can be degrading/shaming and make a yid (in this case a singer) lose money!!! I’m not trying to criticize anyone I’m just saying that unless this entire thread is full of rave reviews of the albums in question, there’s gonna be some lashon hara!!!

maybe you should sit down with a notebook and systematically go through your different middos/aveiros and try to figure out what you need to do teshuva for…

LOL it’s pretty funny because since I don’t call a boy by his name on dates I honestly forget their names sometimes… haha would be pretty bad if they turned around and said, “What’s my name?” It would be like “ummm” lol.

The truth is the only reason I don’t say their names is because my friend once told me that’s something you just don’t do… hmmm. mamashtaka- kol hakavod for not being a sheep and questioning the “rules” and the way people do things… but then again, I totally hear the points of the answers given… like the affection thing.

I guess it’s okay to say the boy’s name if it’s necessary but not to, like, insert in every other sentence. (“So Moshe, what’s your favorite color?” “Really, Moshe?” lol)

Hey. Check out Rachel Factor’s Israel drama/performing arts camp. My friend was a madricha there this summer and she said it’s fantastic!

wow. that’s fantastic! realistically, how could it be implemented and spread??