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Yes, open networks pose security risks and it is oft recommended not to join them unless you have a VPN. Generally speaking, anyone who wants to gather information from a public WiFi can do so without too much effort – but chances are you don’t have too much to worry about.
jf02: An IP address is something that is established by a network and not something that is inherent to your computer.
I’d like to address your question, “Why am I upset?”
The reason you are upset is likely because you have an idealistic (and correct – but that’s irrelevant at this point) picture of how you’d like your household to look.
The same picture applies when a husband comes home and finds the house a mess with his wife stressed (it happens – shockingly!) “instead of” everything being organized with his wife sitting on a chair and saying Tehillim aloud.
You shouldn’t be looking to prove yourself wrong, but you should be able to be sovel your own expectations in face of helping a relationship grow.
As far as helping your husband do what he likely feels is important as well, that’s a different issue but you probably shouldn’t actively address it at this point (at least as long as you’re upset) – as it’s unlikely to go anywhere positive.
On a more personally pro-active level, if you’re also going to sleep at a later hour, it doesn’t make sleeping early for your husband any easier. Maybe try going to sleep earlier youself and see it helps him. But again, that shouldn’t be with an expectation that it will have an impact – just a desire to help.
Hatzlocho!
Patur: He says that all the hochachos against it from the kuntrus stand strong and doesn’t really leave an “if” in the balance before laying bal tosif on it as far as I understand – but yes seemingly the t’nai would work (even though it really seems likely he’s completely sholel the option that it is techeiles)
In any case l’inyaneinu – HaRav Yisroel Mishklov in the hakdama to Peas HaShulchan that the Biur HaGra pushes off the concerns the Maharsha had since anyone who learns it can be medakdek in the sugyos and shittos.
pixelate: When the Aruch HaShulchan and Mishna Berura give two different psaks what do you do?
^But then you would have to see Teshuvos v’Hanhagos vol. 6 from Rav Sternbach that says you’re over bal tosif if you wear today’s techeiles. 🙂
Sam: Could you give me some marei mekomos for that please? Interested to learn it up as I always took it for granted it was assur.
The gemara is on the second-to-last amud of the second perek of Succah if I remember correctly (it starts around where the page gets wider near the bottom).
Funny, I don’t remember that being in Shulchan Aruch… must not have gotten there.
Question I’ve had for quite sometime; popa’s responses had me cracking up.
Sam: This is one that, for whatever reason, in many cases stuck (or sticks today). Rav Sternbach in Teshuvos v’Hanhagos is matir in all sorts of ways (including, as someone mentioned, those that say the tzavoh was only for his offspring), but in this specific type of case (i.e. wife/mother), he still seems to be cautious about it. I’ve seen (or heard b’sheim – I can’t remember) the same from R’ Elyashiv zt”l and R’ Chaim Kanievsky (that one’s for you thabo) when I was looking into this inyon.
There are poskim that I’ve heard and seen matir (I’d name them, but I have no idea if it’s on a per-case basis or not – and therefore don’t want people saying ___ is matir).
Why this one of all the things he writes? Don’t know. I can’t say I’ve ever really understood these inyonim.
There are varying opinions – the mother and would-be wife having the same name are the most difficult to be mattir (as that is the primary thing R’ Yehuda HaChossid addressed) but there are those who nonetheless will be mattir. Many poskim will tell you not to begin dating.
Ask the shayla to a reliable posek (your average rav will not necessarily be capable of paskening).
Hatzlocho!
rob:
If after examining under a magnifying glass you confirm that what you see with your eyes is a bug, it’s osur. If you can’t see it at all using your eyes alone, that’s a different story.
Don’t know about simon brocho, but as far as I know if there’s an umdena that a shadchan gets paid a certain amount, they’re mechuyav to pay it unless your relative is mochel.
Haven’t heard of it – would be interested in seeing a mekor.
rebyidd23 I guess you’re not familiar with Rebbi Yossi: “???? ?? ????? ????? ???? ?????? ???? ??? ???? ???? ?????? ???” 🙂
What “in depth details” are you looking for?
I understand where your coming from, but insofar as loshon ho’ra (and motzi shem ra) – repeating it is effectively the same as being mekabel even if you put it in a “doubtful light” unless it falls under the criterion of being “l’toeles” (in this case I don’t believe it does).
observer: Not only is that incorrect, it’s ossur to be mekabel.
hillcrest: This was already covered in another thread on here recently, TOMO isn’t covered in the same length but have a look:
http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/yeshivah-in-ey
I’d recommend looking into Merkaz HaTorah.
“Siddurim have only been printed for the last few centuries. Before that they were handwritten and very expensive. Indeed, prior to the invention of typesetters and pulp paper, all sefarim were very expensive. From records of early printers, it appears that books that were heavily used frequently have no surviving copies (and with pre-1500, even fewer existed).”
Correct. But they still exist(the most prominent of which include that of Rav Saadia Gaon and the Machzor Vitri) – both of which do not contain “modeh ani”.
“If there is a record of someone introducing a tefilah, that answers your question. If it suddenly appears, that allows you to date it. Consider dating the origin of the prayers for the Israeli government and the IDF.”
Not sure what you’re looking for here.
“Do the temanim say “Modeh ani”? Does anyone not say it? In what early siddurim is it absent? Is it attributed by contemporaries to an author (as would be the case if it is recent, meaning the last 1500 years).”
I haven’t a clue if they say “Modeh ani” – I don’t have one of their siddurim handy, and I don’t know if there is anyone today that doesn’t say it. We are a giant blurb of different ‘cultures’ in yiddishkeit today where it becomes increasingly difficult to hold on to the mesorah that ones parents or grandparents (etc etc) held to. Just look at the yeshivishe sefardim and see how few today really stay to their nusach. Siddurim are no exception and nusach-wise have suffered several waves of significant change. Not everyone who wrote a siddur was a talmud chochom (in fact, as I mentioned some were – or are – maskilim, amaratzim, etc etc). Their changes for whateer reasons have made their way into our siddurim today. If illegitimate nuschaos have penetrated mainstream siddurim, what makes you think that other legitimate nuschaos haven’t penetrated mainstream siddurim?
And as I wrote twice, yes: “modeh ani” is attributed across the board to the Seder HaYom – Rav Moshe ben Machir.
There are several “entry points” throughout time which demonstrate the opposite of your claim:
1. Kabbalistic additions from the Ari
2. Kabbalistic additions from the Shloh (who was metaken the nusach of today’s Kabbolos Shabbos +/- ana b’choach – that’s debatable),
3. Maskilishe additions (noting most did not affect both nuschaos).
4. Ma’atikim who did and did not necessarily do the best jobs
5. Today’s matzav in E”Y where plenty is borrowed from different nuschaos depending on who authors the siddur and/or from the jumble of nuschaos from having come into a common living place (e.g. Nusach Ashkenaz never said “ein kelokeinu” after davening on a weekday until Ashkenazim swallowed in some of the minhagim of the Sefardim)
You have yet to bring one anecdotal piece of evidence to claim, “If both Ashkenazi and Sefardi sidduring have something, it probably dates back at least to the period that the Talmuds were being written (before the Ashkenazi/Sefardi split).”
Point me to a sefer, a teshuva, something that bares some level of evidence to what you’re claiming – because I really don’t see it.
“If both Ashkenazi and Sefardi sidduring have something, it probably dates back at least to the period that the Talmuds were being written”
????? ????? Source? Please?
Today, most siddurim (particularly Ashkenazi siddurim) borrow plenty from Sephardi and Sephard siddurim. In addition plenty of the changes and additions that “survive” to this day are changes made by maskilim and/or due to censorship and/or kabbalistic additions/renditions which did not exist before the Ari, and in some cases not until the Shloh, etc etc.
The Seder HaYom is the accepted source for Modeh Ani according to both Sefardim and Ashkenazim as a “temporary replacement” for “Elokai Noshomo” which can’t be said until one washes his hands – and which tradiontally would not be said until one reached shul.
The Abudraham is seemingly the mekor for the part which says “sh’hechezarta bi nishmosi” – but the Modeh Ani portion is not found anywhere before the Seder HaYom to my knowledge.
“Physical sidduring don’t last very long since they are heavily used and wear out, whereas a nusach will survive and leave its trace on future siddurim.”
There are B”H a decent amount of siddurim that are still in understandable or printable condition from many years ago.
It’s a cute story – unfortunately I don’t buy it.
Several things are inaccurate on both “professors” parts. For one, modeh ani is not thousands of years old – the earliest source we have for it as far as I know is the Seder HaYom from the time of the rishonim (it also doesn’t take most people 12 seconds to say modeh ani), and physiologically I believe that the Professor McMaron quote is incorrect (i.e. I doubt it was ever said) – blood would, if anything – get thrown away from the brain.
That shouldn’t take away from the fact that Hashem “set that up years ago” with regards to … well … everything – but this isn’t necessarily the best anecdote as far as I can tell
OP: What heter do you have to be mekabel either of these stories?
If I’m not mistaken the Tur says that Yidden have always added to the simanim.
Avi K: I have to say that’s a Mishna Berurah that has confused me for a long time; maybe someone can help me here. Depending on where you put your punctuation, the MB can come out l’chumra or l’kula.
The sources he quotes, however, are both l’chumra (as I understand them – see ?”? ??? ? ???? ? [almost quoted verbatim], and ??? ????? ??”? ??”?).
Also if we try to ignore the first half of the Pri Megadim and only take the second half as “psak” (d’hayinu l’kula), it seems he was chozer in seder chalitza – not so sure what to do with it.
Someone care to shed some light?
I didn’t see anyone here having a nusach dilemma.
Sam2: Mind pointing me in the direction of the rishonim who say that/where they say that?
???????? ????? ?????? ??? ???? – ????? ?????? ????? ???? ????
?????? ?? ????? – ????? ?????? ??????? ??????.
?????? ??? ???? ???? ??? ??????? ??? ???? (???? ?, ?) ???? ?? ??????, ???? ?????? ?????? ????? ????? ?????, ?? ?? ???? ???????? ?’ ??????? ????? ?????? ??? ???? ??? ????? ?????? ????? ?? ??????? ?”?, ???? ???? ????? ?? ????? ?????? ??? ???????? ?????????,
????? ??? ??????? ????? ???? ??????? ??????
From the Siach Yitzchok (Sidur Ishei Yisroel)
Had a look today, the section where the Shelah mentions the tefillah and nusach, as HaLeiVi mentioned, in what he writes about Tamid. Some mishnayos prints have the Shelah included as well (I think that’s what HaLeiVi was referring to).
HaLeiVi:
The ??”? is called the ??”? because of his sefer ??? ????? ????? (note the acronym) which is a kabbalah sefer.
From what I’ve read, the tefillah is printed in his siddur ??? ????? and is only a portion of the full tefillah – can’t confirm that as I don’t have a copy of the siddur handy, mindyou.
be good:
I don’t believe that popa in his statement addressed tznius, nor does it look like he was judging anyone.
It looks like he doesn’t want the standard to require spending exorbitant sums of money if it’s not necessary and hasn’t addressed any of the issues you’re defending.
…at least that’s how I read what’s on the screen.
GAW:
Just a quick aside (not hijack) – I still intend on responding to your question re: bugs – just haven’t had too much opportunity to sit with it. Life, B”H, is busy. 🙂
Not addressing – simply a question on your last line.
Why are you convinced that it prevents kefira and going off the derech?
Sam2:
Not trying to be contradictory, simply asking questions – where did you find that? Rashi doesn’t mention it and the reason I presumed it was the case is also because the shiurim appear to be borrowed from that same gemara. I haven’t looked at other rishonim, so by all means enlighten me 🙂
So when the gemara says shiurin chatitzin and mechitizin are halacha l’moshe mi’sinai and Rashi says it’s referring to hilchos mechitza – what do you propose the gemara/Rashi are referring to? Only by the defanos of a Succah? I’m having a difficult time reading Rashi that way.
gaw: Im yirtzei Hashem I’ll get to looking for it in the next week. It’s not stuff I have at the tips of my fingers by any means, so I have to find the time to actually sort it out; bear with me.
PS. Fried tarantula. Yum.
…Ok maybe not
gaw: I have to find it but there is either a Shach or a Rema that explicitly says so in beria.
Rav Moshe also has a teshuva regarding davening b’yichidus (it’s not so poshut to do). If it’s ok according to some standards and you see yourself capable of not being distracted, i.e. by davening by the wall or something of the sort, I would think you should still daven in the shul. That said, I haven’t a clue how the shul looks, nor have I really learned much about mechitzas, so this is more or less coming from my stomach 🙂
My questions were legitimate. If you did not learn them (even on a superficial level), you cannot sensibly claim that it is simply a chumra. I do not claim to have learned any of them b’iyun, but the roshei prokim make it very clear that it’s not as simple as, “Yeah, we just became more machmir because of those darned Chareidim.”
I sat on a bus today only to have someone stand up and move to the front of the bus after giving me a horridly dirty look for sitting beside him. So he didn’t wear a kippa, and perhaps he didn’t know better. You, however, speak of Ahavas Yisroel yet place blame of if I can paraphrase you, illogical chumras, on an entire section of frum Judaism – throwing what at the very least translates into a level of hatred that should be unacceptable. It’s perfectly fine to have shittos, and aderaba – you should be convinced what you’re doing is right or that at the very least that you are going in the right direction.
“Chareidi society is obsessed with chumros, seeing the kol korehs, bans, and cherems these days.”
The very sentence before your concerns of Ahavas Yisroel relays what very defined tones run in your wording. I’m not sure what kind of Chareidi society you are familiar with. The society I am a part of doesn’t regard any of those as anywhere close to central.
You cannot just look at the last 100 years, though those generations are the easiest to relate to. Tracking and understanding halacha, nusach, or even/especially the gemara is dependent on digging further back and understand not just the outcome, but also the cause for change. If I’m not mistaken R’ Akiva is the one who says that Yisroel is compared to a bird; just like a bird is useless without its wings, we are useless without the zekeinim. That’s not just of our generation, that’s of previous generations going all the way back.
I’m not sure what your point was with the Minchas Elozor’s daughter. Perhaps the main reason that it is such a noted event is because of how unusually large the wedding was and the special border conditions granted in order that people be able to attend the wedding; it was far from standard. Once it became normative to have a few hundred in a wedding hall and fraternizing became an issue, only then did things start changing.
I think it’s hilarious. I’ll probably get flamed for it, but I think it’s absolutely hilarious and would likely burst out laughing if I were the chareidi male.
“or even think learning history is worthwhile”
What happened to mesorah? It begins and ends in the last 100 years?
Although you claim so, it’s not so clear from your wording that you just wanted to ‘prove halacha can change’, they’ve been tirades against modern day psak. Nobody disagrees that certain halachos are based on the mitzyus that exists in x community at y time. That wasn’t your point – and if it was, you probably wouldn’t have so much objection.
Your began by saying, “Minhagim once done by only the pious few are now mainstream Halacha”. Then you gave examples that by and large display ignorance if you’re claiming they were once simply minhagim.
Have you learned the sugyas regarding bugs? Have you learned it l’halacha? Do you understand that the dinim, whether “paskened” by rishonim or acharonim must be followed in later generations based on what kind of mitzyus is known? Ok, so there’s a “mutar b’dieved” matzav because their nosen ta’am lifgam – but to have the audacity to claim it’s “minhag” that became “mainstream halacha” simply displays that you have a tremendous lack of knowledge in many of the areas you mentioned.
Perhaps you were just lazy in your writing, but post after post, it seems like you claimed that a whole bunch of minhagim and chumras suddenly became mainstream halacha. A chumra for one generation can absolutely be mainstream halacha for another – especially if the reality changes (i.e. fraternizing at weddings which is osur became much more of a problem in the US as weddings got bigger). Why wasn’t it a problem in Europe? You barely had more than the two *immediate* families. Grandparents – yes, MAYBE some aunts/uncles/cousins (often times not), and a few close friends. Generally speaking, there weren’t problems with fraternizing, now there are. Regardless of the mitzyus, the issue is one of basic halacha being followed.
Beards? I see your problem, I just wouldn’t be bothered by it. So the status quo in Lita was that bochurim wouldn’t have beards, now some bochurim do. I don’t think it’s a result of anything in particular. It’s true that you find more people wearing frocks than once did (newly married avreichim, and even bochurim are raised up with frocks). I don’t really understand it, but I simply wouldn’t be bothered to think too much about it; there is little to do with halacha in that realm (I say little because maybe they wear it to be in line with Hilchos Yom Tov that begodim must be better for YT than Shabbos).
That’s incredibly myopic. So dina d’gemara goes out the window. You want a long limud zchus for a previous generation? Great! Kol Hakavod to whoever manages to do so. By daas yehudis (assuming you take such a route), you would be obligated based on where you live. If that’s what is done it is *OSUR* for you to be more lenient.
I have news for you; the mekor for being allowed to wear a shaitel (and not a scarf or other non-attached hair covering) is the Shiltei Giborim. Outside of him, no other commentator was matir. Today, plenty of poskim are matir shaitels al smach his heter – but normatively speaking, he is a daas yochid between the rishonim. He presents a kula (I have no problem with that).
Covering the hair is a *din*.It seems that in your imagination, the only rabbonim that existed before this century were Litvish. The Sefardim wore head coverings, the Teimanim wore head coverings, a fair amount of the chassidim wore head coverings. According to you, there is no such thing as gemara and all we have to do is blindly follow what we see everyone else did before.
Bug checking has always been halacha. Microscopes are generally not necessary if you know what to look for (ayin Shemiras Shabbos, Igros Moshe, etc). If we are newly aware of a new infestation or a new infestation is present, it is osur to eat without ridding it of bugs. You can chose how many lavim you want to be over for eating bugs when an item is muchzak. You would be right if you were to argue that Rav Elyashiv’s chumra re: percentages is a chumra – and it’s not a “normative” chumra either. Yes there is a din of beria, and they are noisen ta’am lifgam b’dieved, but to be mevatel dinim d’oraisa? Oy vay.
“Cases in point: chalav yisroel, black hats, sheitles, separate seating at events, bugs in lettuce”
Cholov Yisroel is a din. You want kulas? There are kulas – many of which had to be followed because ein gozrim; there were not options out of cholov stam. Rav Moshe himself mentions Toronto which has it’s own mehadrin milk production and says in such a case, unless it’s significantly more expensive, one should be buying cholov Yisroel. It is significantly more expensive, so many are somech on that kula (among others). To claim it is a minhag or chumra testifies that you have no idea what you’re talking about.
Seperate seating at events “became an issue” once big events were popular. In a chasuna in Europe, a little more than both families attended a wedding – not the 200-500 person weddings that we have today. So mixed seating tended not to be an issue HALACHICALLY, because there would not be fraternizing. Today, there is – hence there is a problem. Not minhag – you can argue chumra (I think it’s pashut that it’s not – but I’m nobody).
Bugs in lettuce. I don’t even know where you’re going with this. More knowledge which points to something being a problem means you must check it. Even if generations before did not, if you have something that is halachically muchzak b’tolayim – it MUST BE CHECKED. Not chumra, not minhag.
Sheitels and black hats… I don’t even know where you’re going with these.
Avi K:
I can’t really stomach such a svara. I’d have to see something like that in the poskim because as far as I’m concerned there are not so many things that I’m allowed to interrupt my shemoneh esrei. If you had what was supposed to be a private meeting with l’havdil with Obama (just as a fun example) and were asking for something on behalf of your entire tzibur, and someone around you was making noise you wouldn’t “shh” them while having your important conversation. You might take a few seconds to regain composure, but you wouldn’t start loudly shhing everyone around you.
If it’s pikuach nefesh, I hear. If it’s a sefer that fell, and it bothers you, I hear. This? I don’t hear. I think the person who thought his cell was off/on silent, made a mistake, and did his effort to turn it off as soon as possible is a tzadik in comparison to the guy who said “SHHH” in the middle of shemoneh esrei. What heter is there? No svaras from the belly please – this needs to be written in the poskim.
Is there a mekor that it’s muttar to shh someone while you’re davening shemoneh esrei?
Perhaps a change in outlook would help you defeat the problem, not just get around it for a day or two. If you just turn off/disconnect from your distractions, whatever they may be, you’ll find something else – it might start a day later, a week later, or even a month later when you’re thinking you’ve fixed the problem.
Maybe the problem is that you’re too casual about your learning. Torah isn’t the cherry on top of “a comfortable life”. Even if you’re not working, you have an obligation to be thinking. But today if you ask someone what they’re thinking about, they think you’re insane. Why should I be thinking?
Sorry if it’s not nice nitpicking at your wording, but I couldn’t help but notice. Doing nothing all day and then sitting down casually to Torah is the problem that needs to be fixed – not the individual distraction
I believe in Teshuvos Binyan Tzvi there’s a teshuva regarding issues of bizui talmidei chochomim. If I recall correctly, the person asking the shayla found that at one shul he went to, they were mevazeh the other shul’s rov and said he wasn’t a talmid chochom etc etc, and the other shul reciprocated.
If I’m not mistaken the question was whether he could daven in a minyan in either location. The teshuva (as I remember it) says that because each community is doing it al da’as their rov, so nobody is posul l’minyan.
I hope I’m recalling this from the right location – I don’t have the shu”t on hand.
Just thought I’d share.
This is where I’ll have to disagree with you. Mitzvos anshei melumada is a problem that exists left and right, no matter what tzibur/community, no matter how much Torah they know. There are unfortunately not so many people who really think about what they are doing actively. Even in something as “small” as making an asher yatzar, a good chunk of the population (yes, Chareidi too) do not take the time to think about what they’re saying or doing.
Rashi says that iyun tefillah is osur; you’re not supposed to say “because I davened really well, I wonder if Hakodosh Boruch-hu listened to my tefillah”. The very fact that Rashi has a hava amina that a person would have such a thought spells out just how far we are from being machshiv our thoughts, words, and actions.
I’ve heard people say that Rav Shach used to bench out of a siddur/bencher b’shita. The reality is, Rav Shach only did that about once a week – and outside of that it wasn’t a “magical segulah”, it was in order to help concentrate on what he was doing. Today, solely because Rav Shach did it, that are those that flock to benching with an open siddur – but not as an avoda, just to do the same.
It was challenge in previous generations, and it’s a greater challenge in this generation. Nobody is immune. It is a challenge that each individual, regardless of what city they live in or how much time they do or don’t spend with their heads in a gemara, must face; Bnei Brak is no different. I’d even venture to say that I find working people on the whole tend to ‘think’ about their Torah more than your average avreich – and I think that’s because they are machshiv the short time that they have to learn. Their whole day leads to it. In the yeshiva/kollel world, where “everyone does the same thing”, the challenge is much greater (I’m me’id on myself).
Regardless, hatzlocho. B”H whichever environment you’re in you’ll know to use it to be mechazek you and help you grow.
I didn’t mean neutrality in that sense; I meant that the program balances teaching you to learn as well as involving a much more “all in” chareidi hashkafa, and not that it was mixed but wanted you to fit in. Sorry about the confusion.
The point was that each person has a different role in their lives; and as the goal of yiddishkeit is one of productivity and not “religiously doing actions like everyone else” (i.e. not mitzvos anshei melumada) – everyone needs different environments and influences to help them bring out what they’d be most productive doing.
Don’t have too much time now (though I have what to say)as I’m off to kollel again in a few minutes, but sorry again for the misunderstanding in being a balance.
I admittedly don’t know that I can properly answer your question about the Yeshiva being “respected”. I can tell you that from what I’ve seen that the Israeli Bnei Brak community is ‘impressed’ with what comes out. That said – though not to chas v’shalom take away from anyone – that same community doesn’t have an incredible amount of exposure to Americans let alone American ba’alei teshuva.
It’s a big thing for your average person let alone Bnei Brak Israeli Chareidi to see a person go from not frum or somewhat frum or even “dressing the part” but having little to no relation to a given hashkafa – make large transformations in his life.
Within the world of ba’al teshuva education I’m not sure how many are aware of this yeshiva, and of those that are familiar, I don’t know if there is/what is the general consensus. I’m not so connected to that oilam.
I will say that when it comes to the example of what rebdoniel mentioned, that guys from Ohr Somayach go there after a few years, that seems to be the case for those who want to continue their learning and go somewhere mainstream but wherever they’re holding at that point it’s not suited to go somewhere like the Mir, etc. Marbeh Torah appears to give them the tools to fit themselves into those kinds of yeshivos and be able to keep themselves up in learning.
It’s not for everyone because there are many approaches to how one should educate – especially ba’alei teshuva. Sometimes if a person’s decided they would like to further explore a certain hashkafa or has even decided that they would like to involve themselves in a certain community it’s best to go to a place that portrays and directs them there. Sometimes it’s better to, in spite of having made those decisions, put yourself in a place that’s more neutral or open hashkafically so you can grow in a way that allows you to grow a little bit more naturally (even if it means a bit of a rough ride along the way).
For example, I’ve seen guys who decided they were/wanted to be chareidi go to places like Shapell’s in order to optimize their growing experience. From what I know of it, it’s very mixed there (both staff and student body), but bochurim come out really knowing how to learn and really living their hashkofos as opposed to perhaps mostly looking the part or having simply been absorbed into the part. But then there are those that go to Machon Yaakov/Shlomo that by and large seem to want you to continue your life working but fit the yeshiva-ish glove. And then further those who go to Marbeh Torah which seems to do something of both.
Hatzlocho with the decision and feel free to ask anything else. I hope I’ve been a help.
That’s funny, I was sure the Shulchan Aruch’s language in ??? was, “??? ???? ??? ????? ????? ?????? ??? ?? ??? ??? ???? ????? ???? ?????? ??? ?? ???? ?? ??? ????? ???? ???? ???? ?? ???? ????? ????? ????? ??? ???? ???? ?????? ????? ??? ???? ???? ?????? ??????”
I see twice that it says Seudah Shlishis. So it’s wonderful that you have “seforim” that give you lots of different inyonim to think about, but I highly doubt any of them reject the title “Seuda Shlishis”. The term Seudah Shlishis is also mentioned in the Rambam where he writes, “???? ????? ?????? ?? ????” if you want a rishon.
As far as your pronunciation quip re: Chazon Ish; Rav Elyashiv zt”l gave a psak that unless a person has a mesora to pronounce the cholam “oy” from previous generations it is incorrect to do so. While there are those that are cholek, I don’t think that leaves you any room to attack someone who doesn’t pronounce it “choilam”.
Gramatically, Oheves Yisroel is correct. In Yiddish/Hebrified English, it became acceptable to ignore grammar once a term is borrowed. To have complaints re: people who are makpid about grammar would be incorrect on your part – but it would be in line with the minhag, if you will, of many Americans.
You are correct, however, that in the context you mentioned, “nifteres” would be incorrect.
Edit: Ahh, my mistake. The Rambam and R’ Yosef Karo were Sefardim. Seudah Shlishit(h). Not Seudah Shlishis. Silly, silly me.