Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
CR10 – most Ashkenazim have no musag the mentality of Sefardim. Do you really want someone who doesn’t understand you and your mentality getting involved with a life effecting decision? What’s wrong with going to a Sefardi Shadchan? Odds are you’ll more likely get what you’re looking for.
Most important, it’s not the Shadchan who will bring your children their zivugim, but rather Hashem Yitborach!
“May Hashem bring you the boy/girl you are looking for for your child w/o the need of a Shadchan and may you rejoice in bringing them soon to their Chuppah!!!”
The Goq – this has got to be tongue and cheek, right?
Just out of curiosity, what gives with the username? Is it meramez to your real name? Does it stand for something? Or are you just trying to make it difficult for people to try to pronounce it? LOL
Being that your question seems more a Hashkafa question than Halacha I think it is OK for me to give a possible answer.
We see that the Halacha follows Beit Hillel over Beit Shami even though Beit Shami had the greater scholars. The reason is because Beit Hillel had more Talmidim and we go after the Rov.
Another point is that sof kol sof the final outcome is min hashamiyim. Even though many big poskim came out against Chalav Stam, in the end we see that Chalav Stam is generally excepted at least on a Bidaeved level (such as materna for a baby).
Perhaps the Sefer, “In Search of Torah Wisdom” by Rabbi Yisroel Miller might answer your question.
Hope this helps
Being Real – Fortunately for you I happened to recently pick up a book in shul that was exactly on this topic. The book is Titled Shemos HaAretz and is authored by Rabbi Shmuel Baruch Genut. It is a compilation of sha’alot that he asked to HaRav Chaim Kanievsky, shlita on the subject of names. It was quiet interesting.
You can use a translator to view this site about the book:
http://ladaat.info/article.aspx?artid=4299
Being that I only read through the book once I haven’t absorbed every detail. However, this much I do remember.
It is advised not to marry a girl with the same exact name as your mother. If either your mother or the girl have more than one name and they share one of them, then it depends on what name people know them as. For example:
If your Mother’s name is Sarah Leah and the girl’s name is only Leah, I believe he says it would be a possible problem if your mother goes by both names, Sarah Leah. However, if your mother is only known by others as Sarah, then it does not matter (according to all sources) that they share the name Leah. Note, however, in your parents house your future Kalah should be called by a nickname like Lealeh.
I do not remember if according to HaRav Kanievsky it matters whether we are talking about the Kallah/Shviger or the Chosson/Sh’ver.
In your personal case I must agreed that if you are interested in either of them you should first consult with your posek as there may be a machlokes concerning following this minhag.
BTW – from what I read it seems that the main issue is a concern for Ayin Harah.
NOTE TO ALL COMMENTATORS: It is nice to try to help another yid, but when doing so don’t base it on “hearsay”. You are not truly helping them and you can possibly be causing yourself serious unnecessary Onish min Hashamiyim.
1. What is the source of this article? Has anyone confirmed this article to 100% accurate? Perhaps the article is misleading or based on hearsay. Can someone confirm the report?
2. Assuming that the article is 100% accurate it needs to be clarified if any Gedolim were consulted on this issue. It does sound EXTREMELY bizarre being that it DEFINITELY goes against Halacha (See Gemorah Kedushin for example) and the words I’ve personally heard from very big Tamidei Chochomim. It is VITALLY important that a woman look beautiful for her husband. All the more so on her wedding day! Can you imagine a chason going to b’dekin and getting turned off by his pale faced kalah?!
EDITED
To set everybody straight,the Talmid is HaRav Shachne Zohn, shlita. What he states is that the Chofetz Chaim came to him twice (in his dreams) and requested from him to tell everybody that “Moshiach is coming soon and that people should do teshuva.” The CC never told him when Moshiach is coming, just that he is coming soon. One can not assume any specific time from that statement. Soon could be this year and it could be in a couple of years. We can’t say.
Just me – Although I’ve been screaming out a;; week long against the latest push for Vaad Hatznius, non-the-less I must contest with you here.
You write, “As for me, I do what I think is the way I should act…”.
I must say being the wife of what seems to be a fine Ben Torah (according to the way you describe your husband) it appears to me that you are not living up to his standards. A woman who’s husband supposedly seeks every opportunity available to learn Torah and understand what Hashem wants from us should likewise search out what Hashem feels is the gedarim of tznius, not decide on one’s own.
Semper_Fidelus – I don’t need to expound upon whether this is also a male’s issue as well. The last two post are sufficient enough. However, I have a thought to add here that really frustrates me concerning this issue. I hear all the time how women “need to be more tznius” and “what lengths, styles, and tightness are acceptable”, however I never hear people speaking to women about the underlining issue, D’vekus L’Hashem.
Most frum women know the basic Halachic guidelines in regards to dress code and conduct, so why do some choose not to follow it? To me the answer is simple. The main ingredient is left out, “WHY?! Why be tznius?”! If we would constantly drill ourselves (both men and women) that the main purpose of the Torah (Taryag mitzvos) is to be M’dabek to Hashem Yisborach and as Mesilus Yisharim writes that D’vekus HaShem is the “greatest pleasure of all pleasures”, then we would approach things differently. If we would realize that the mitzvos that men are required reflect an aspect of Hashem Yisborach(B’tzelum Elokim Nevrah HaAdam) and the same with women’s mitzvos (that their mitzvos also are reflections of Hashem), then they would realize that when they are tznius they are reflecting an aspect of Hashem. What a great thing!
If women would be taught to walk down the street with this type of Machshava instead of just “I have to be tznius”, then it seems obvious to me that women would certainly STRIVE to be as modest as they can. After all, they are modeling after the Rabono Shel Olam!
It saddens me the approach we are taking nowadays by ramming it down people’s throats with sharp statement of what is an isn’t tznius to wear. We may even be encouraging rebellion this way! On top of that, we are also encouraging people not to be understanding of other people’s weaknesses as well (as if we don’t have our own areas of weaknesses in Avodas Hashem)! We can not and will not bring people closer to Hashem unless we learn to look deeper into their issues and find the REAL root of their problem.
As one Rav said to some students when they complained about another student’s not wearing a kippa while playing basketball, “I could call him over and ask him to put on a kippa and he’ll do it, but what’ll be tomorrow when I’m not around?! Better, I should slowly be mashbia on him to draw closer to Hashem and Mimeila he’ll start to understand on his own to wear a kippa EVEN when playing basketball.”
May we see better times,
Softwords
Although you bring up a valid point, I must contest your statement, “there is no excuse to not to go to school whether you are in Yeshiva…”.
It has been my experience that many Gedolim would not agree to Bachrim and Kolelite going to College on the side during Yeshiva as a general rule. Of course, there are exceptions. When you make such a bold statement as you did you are basically saying that you are wiser than they are. Do you feel that you understand the full picture better than them? I hope not.
Softwords