Don’t Worry Be Happy-

I’m thrilled to hear of the happy ending for the woman after her unfortunate situation. I hear her hesitation in signing the document, (which by no means makes her a gold digger). I am completely disturbed by the boy. What does it mean that he wouldn’t be able to take care of her if things went wrong in the marriage?!? This is what I find completely disturbing in LEGAL prenups!!! The guy could toss out the girl leaving her with nothing?? There are so many intricate details that need to be mentioned in legal prenups in order to make it fair. For ex: The money from their marriage and onward: whose going to get it? Is it split between the two of them or he’s making her sign all her rights to that money too? How about a time limit?- After 15 years of marriage he’s not going to give her anything??!! Looks like he’s the gold digger here!!!! What about in a case where there is children?? There is so many details into making a legal prenup fair and just for both parties. Its these legal prenups that are an issue, if they are not written correctly (as was the issue in the unfortunate situation with my friend just recently). Why can’t these people who are paranoid about their money jut give a halachic prenup where in worst case situations, everything is left up to the Rabbanim in Beis Din to decide. It’s hard enough going into a marriage happily, when your signing documents and worrying about who pays what if you get divorced!!! If people are worried, just give the halachic prenup, don’t worry about divorce, and if a situation does come up it is left in the hands of rabbinical authority to decide the outcome of both parties. These legal prenups may be unfair, and may cause unnecessary rift amongst people if it comes out unfair and insulting to the party receiving it. A time that should be a joyous occasion should not be marred by bitterness and dispute!!!

YU has halachic prenups endorsed by the rabbanim mentioned above. I actually reviewed them and think they SHOULD be endorsed. It saves BOTH sides from any horrible situation without making one party feel like trash. It is understandable why some would like to have a prenup signed before marriage, so that their assets are saved in case a situation arises. Yet it has to be done with consideration to the other party. Unfortunately, in my friend’s horrible situation, the prenup was completely unfair and disrespectful to her. Her family was insulted!

At the end of the day, she is probably better off without them.

And yes, “Nechomah” I also believe that much of the shidduch crisis may be attributed to crazy parents. Some parents are selfish and completely take over their child’s emotions and tell the child that their broken heart can be mended…. All because of MONEY, an unfair prenup and a unwillingness to work together!!

A friend of mine’s shidduch was called off (luckily before any official engagement!!) because of a RIDICULOUS prenup suggested by one side. Instead of working around trying to make the young couple happy, the side who demanded the prenup was upset at the other side who was insulted from the prenup! (And had the right to be insulted!) Now both individuals are miserable…Is this what Hashem wants from us?