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WIY – even if you meant no harm and were entirely misunderstood, you caused additional terrible anguish to a mother in great distress.
apy, I too am frequently at an utter loss of words when reading her comments.
yes, they better open the door for me or its over before it started! no real gentleman would ever not open the door for the lady. and he better not be a cheapo and not take me to a nice restaurant on the first date, or the first date will be the last date!!
aries, by us its no problem, as the kids are richer than the parents and so don’t need their bribes. The kids are doing so well, they could buy their kids more diamonds than the parents could pass on to them.
The workplace, even frum workplaces, is not a place for a good Jewish boy. We have to be there, granted; we have to make a living for our families – which is a Mitzvah in itself – but we need to realize the price we pay for those necessities.
There is a story in the mussar seforim, about a man who had a premonition that next year’s crops would be poisoned, so that whoever would eat it would become insane. He didn’t; know what to do — if he would eat the crops he’d become insane, but if he does not eat the crops, the whole world will be insane except him, and being the only normal one in an insane world is just as bad as being insane. Warning people about the crops is useless because nobody would believe him anyway. So he went ot the village wise man who told him, “You have to eat the crops. You’re right – that being the only normal person in an insane world is as bad as being insane. Plus it will drive you crazy anyway. But here’s what you do:
“Tie a string around your finger to remind yourself constantly that you have eaten from the crops and you are insane. Being insane is bad, but in this case you have no choice. However, for the rest of the world, much worse than being insane is the fact that they will think they’re normal. Being insane is bad, but being insane thinking you’re normal is much worse. So tie a string around your finger which will always remind you that you are insane. You’ll be insane, but at least you’ll know you’re insane. Everyone else will think they’re normal, so you’ll be much much better off than the rest.”
The nimshal is, there’s nothing wrong with going to work, and often it may even be a necessity. But to spend the gift of life that Hashem gives us for such a short time in this world selling cars or programming computers or whatever we need to do to make a living, is insane. It may be necessary, but it’s still insane. We have so little to live in this world (we should all live to 120 years, but compared to eternity in the afterlife, 120 years is nothing), and its our only chance to collect Torah and Mitzvos — how crazy is it to busy ourselves with other things??
But we have to? OK, we have to. At the very least, let us realize that we do so out of necessity and that making a living necessitates our leading a life which, when you consider what we’re on this world for and the opportunities that exist ONLY while we are here, is insane. Let’s at least realize that.
For those who learn all day, they may not need to tie strings around their fingers, but, unfortunately, in the materialistic and confused world that we live in, they need posts such as this one, to constantly remind them that their lives are very, very normal, sane, and healthy.
The hardships of Kolel are nothing compared to the pleasures. Like Rav Aharon ZT’L said – that those who support learning might get Olam Habah like those who learn, but they surely don’t get Olam Hazeh like them. Money isn’t everything – even in Olam Hazeh.
oomis –
No she isn’t a (current) judge, and no her TV show isn’t a real court. At most, she is an arbitrator and her show is binding arbitration. She holds no current title of judge.
The show-judge also based her “decision” on the fact that the destroyed wig had short hair, but the receipt was for a long hair wig. She was oblivious to the fact that it could have shrunk in the wash.
The entire basis that this hoax of a self-declared non-judge is based on two fallacious points: 1] her mistakenly thinking the wig couldn’t have shrunk in the wash (she made a stink over the fact that the plaintiff supposedly bought a long wig but that the destroyed wig was short); and 2] her inability to identify the brand of wig she was dealing with — resulting in her claiming the info she supplied to the phone clerk at the manufacturer (Georgi) who supposedly answered her phone call, based on whatever tag [from the out of shape wig] she allegedly read to her, was unrecognized by the clerk as one of theirs. This is easily a miscommunication, even trying to credit Ms. Milian of “The People’s Court” from Warner Brothers Television with not purposefully lying. Georgi’s website lists hundreds of models of wigs in their current lineup.
mw13, you shouldn’t say it so loud. Some people don’t like hearing that certain activities are not kosher for girls. They’re motto is “what’s good for the guy’s, is good for the girl’s” and “equality”.
popa: So then you think that Georgi’s will confirm to me when my neighbor bought a wig from them, how much she paid for it, and when she purchased it (as Milian claims Georgi’s told her in the phone call she allegedly made to them when she took her 10 minute recess during the filming)?
Do they insist on a photo first, to make sure the girl is sufficiently overweight?
TheGoq: Wouldn’t it be easier if you just yelled across the room to talk to him?
I can see some benefit for non-frum or not so frum people watching this. But it is a detriment to ehriliche yidden to watch.
These judge shows do whatever will bring more viewers; that’s all their so-called “judgement” is based on. The so-called “judge” is just an entertainer hired by a TV producer for her ratings value. And ratings is what their “judgement” is based on. The “courtroom” and the guy dressed like a security man are all props.
HaLeiVi: I said as a legal matter in a court a he said/she said situation is not a basis for a legal determination. This is basic Beis Din (or even secular court) process anywhere.
two peas in a pod.
What about? As mdd and others have pointed out, dissatisfaction with the marriage, by itself, is not a valid reason to grant a divorce.
it is not by “default”that she is trapped but by “de FAULT oF” the powers-that-be who refuse to believe her.
Beis Din can’t “believe her” because she said so, if her version of events is disputed, in the lack of evidence proving the contrary. Beis Din has rules of evidence that it must abide by, not “believe” or “not believe” someone based on their word alone.
Everyone should learn the scary stuff that is Gehenim, so no one would want to risk ending up there.
The Wolf:
1) What specifically did you do that makes you believe that is your fate?
2) Why do you believe the above cannot be rectified?
I believe the maximum time in gehenim is 11 months.
After their time in gehenim (however long it is), the cleansed neshomo goes to Gan Eden.
mw13, is that why overeducated girls geting their law degrees etc. are often still single in their 30’s?
The question isn’t as much that Munchausen by proxy exists. The point is this mother was falsely accused of it. And many cases around the world of medical practitioners falsely accusing innocent parents of it has been documented in and out of the court systems.
“mir haben shoin genug dorch gemacht”
We have already gone through enough.
hss, Gedarim are appropriate and required. Our Chachomim didn’t institute gedarim, especially in this area of arayos, without very very good reasons.
I’d ban those who attack — especially subtly and indirectly — Talmidei Chachomim.
Only vain men insist on a photo for a shidduch. She shouldn’t want to marry such vain people.
mdd’s point is a wife cannot wake up one morning and decide marriage is boring and she’d prefer to be single again, and thus demand a divorce. Beis Din will rightfully laugh her out of court and order her to return to her husband, and if she refuses deem her a “moredes”.
HaLeiVi – Considering you recognize parutz is applicable to a goy, on what basis do you assume the definition of parutz is different for a goy than a yid?
I was given a psak I can use a treif microwave by double wrapping the food.
Freeze them until you need them.
Yes, they are consistently inconsistent.
ulsis: How is that Kavod HaTorah?
2010, 1910, or 1710 have the same Shulchan Aruch governing our lives and laws, rather than feel goodism and modern sensibilities, when a get is or is not in order.
So, l’chatchila, should a child of two converts also say L’Yisrael, since both his parents are converts? And if only one parent is a convert does that change what is l’chatchila (per KSA)?
Truth be told, there are no appropriate workplaces for women.
popa – why should age even be a question (once we are talking about a halachic adult)? I don’t see any difference in cross gender issue whether they are 45/20, 45/42, 75/18, 58/21, or 92/28.
The OP asked if a husband being placed in cheirim is a valid reason for a wife to demand a get even if her husband doesn’t want to give one. As mdd and others have responded, there are only certain reasons halacha requires a husband to give a get even if he doesn’t want to. In other cases, where halacha doesn’t require an involuntary get, the wife cannot, under halacha, force her husband to give her a get. Since a husband being placed in cheirim is not one of the reasons a wife can demand a get, she is not a “mesorevet get” in that case. (Like hello99 pointed out, the term “agunah” is always incorrect in cases other than when the husband is lost.)
Some people believe they share a common descent with gorillas. For them there may be room to argue they don’t have a Tzelem Elokim.
ItcheSrulik: And the Machzor doesn’t either say the dancers at the tantz should wear shoes with shoelaces, right? Nevertheless, the mitzvah tantz comes directly from Machzor Vitri.
How is haifagirl doing?
eclipse: Use another email address OR change the current one to anything else (even fictitious) and then create a new account with the original.
To change the current registered address, follow the instructions in the first post here:
http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/how-to-change-your-ywn-cr-password
In My Humble Opinion
A non-Jewish workplace is highly inappropriate for a Jewish woman.
haifagirl – how are you? anything you can report for us?
The Judge can legally only apply pressure if there is a basis to make the demand. If there is no basis, there is no basis.
Maus hu alai loses the kesubah.
Yes, Homeowner, that Yid is far higher than the lowly Theresa.
Wolf:
I don’t think that was the reason they thought your were out of your mind.
JK