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I give the delivery guy from the pharmacy 50 cents. What’s the big deal? No one will tell you how much to tip (if it isn’t a waiter – which has a standard 15%) and there is no standard “percent” for a delivery guy.
“pumper” is absolutely correct. I can spare the two quarters.
Personally, I think the girl should pay for 50% of the dates. (The guy’s goes on way more dates every year than girls, and it’s only fair.)
Okay, now that we’ve firmly established that Torah & Kollel is the way to go, let’s discuss college.
Rav Moshe Feinstein ZT’L denounced college in a Teshuva, and in a famous speech delivered to his students, published under the title “The Counsel of the Wicked” (Vaad LeHaromas Keren HaTorah, New York, 1978). There he reiterates that everyone has an obligation to become great in Torah, we should not care so much about Cadillac’s (yes, this was said in the “olden days”), and that learning Torah is what we should be pursuing, not secular stuff. He says in America you do not need college to make a Parnassa, and we should be willing to live on little, not a lot, for the sake of Torah, and that R. Nehuray’s statement of abandoning all skills in favor of Torah applies all that more today that we live in a country where you can make a parnassa without college, with no miracles needed.
There is a tape available in many Seforim stores called “The prohibition to learn in Colleges” (Yiddish), which contains addresses by Rav Moshe Feinstein ZT’L and Rav Aharon Kotler ZT’L condemning college.
“Kollel is a place for a real talmid chacham.”
I’m telling you how it should be. Not what you see. What you see may or may not be the correct approach.
Kach hi darkah shel torah – pas b’melach tochal — bread salt and water – if you have that, you have parnasah.
We should not care so much about Cadillac’s, and learning Torah is what we should be pursuing.
they would recognize that im ein kemach, ein Torah.
Im ain kemach ain torah just means that if you have no food, you cannot learn. If you are supported by your parents, in laws, Yeshiva, or wife, you are not in a situation where you have to steal, and you have fulfilled the Chazal.
Anyways, the standard of livelihood required is bare minimum. “Kach hi darkah shel torah – pas b’melach tochal etc.” — Bread salt and water – if you have that, you have parnasah. The Rambam writes that a typical Baal Habayis works 3 hours a day and learns 8. This is what a “working person” is. Three hours a day. 8 hours learning.
What in the world does that have to do with today’s working man’s lifestyle where he works 8 hours a day and almost never even learns 3? It proves nothing that Chazal endorsed working, since working in those days meant learning 8 hours a day.
There is an obligation on every Jew to become as great in Torah as he is able. The Rambam praises those who learn all day and don’t have jobs, as the elite “Shevet Levi” of our days. Clearly, even if working is endorsed, it is inferior to those who learn.
The Rama says it is a Midas Chasidus – praiseworthy – for someone who can become a Gadol B’Torah and make an independent living, but continues that not everyone is capable of this — saying that if you have a choice between becoming a Godol B’Torah or making a living, becoming a Godol B’Torah comes first.. The Rama even brings opinions that the community should support its Torah scholars even to the point of affluence.
henrytheignorant,
so practice Kach hi darkah shel torah without becoming a nazir.
henry89,
you are quite ignorant of halacha. one can earn enough “Kach hi darkah shel torah – pas b’melach tochal etc.” — Bread salt and water while learning all day.
Talking about repeating threads… THIS very thread is rehash of an old one of just a month ago!:
And it is worth repeating squeak’s response over there to the comment:
OP: when the Coffee Room was first started, I used to enjoy reading the different topics. Now, the coffee room has basically become a “bashing forum”
squeak: Ummm, which Coffee Room are you talking about? Nothing’s changed in that regard 🙂
actually, unless the yeshiva guy has the potential to become a big big talmid chachom, then he should of course learn part of the day and go to college or some vocational school the other half/night. this is the most optimal solution. one must earn a parnasa.
actually, unless the working guy has the potential to become a big big business man, then he should of course learn all day. this is the most optimal solution. one must learn.
dunno:
If he can live with it later, he can live with it now.
And if he can’t live with it now, his potential bride-to-be better start worrying if he will be able to live with it later.
Why does it bother you if someone strives for a “blue eyed, blonde haired, tall, size 0 girl”? If that’s what they want and can get, good for them!
How will he react when his then wife is no longer size 0? Or when her hair is no longer blonde? Or when she is hunched over? Will he no longer want her?
Homeowner: How is that related to this thread? That is a matter of minhug, and either way is proper. If someone is a 45 year old bochor, then that’s what he is.
Before marriage, however, why shouldn’t someone strive to get everything they’re looking for?
Some people do. They insist on a blue eyed, blonde haired, size 0, tall, witch.
Just because a certain factor may stop a relationship from forming does not mean that it will break an already existing relationship.
If a relationship can withstand it, there is no reason to let it prevent a relationship from forming because it exists.
popa: If it can be dealt with in marriage (and in fact he better be prepared to deal with it), then a bochur can deal with it with a bride-to-be – as much as a husband can deal with it with a wife.
And what if a bochor is 29 or 32 or 35 and cannot get is fantasized bride? Can he lower his expectations on looks and weight? If so, so can a 19 or 21 or 23 year old bochor. Especially since all of them better be prepared for unavoidable changes after marriage.
And what about old age? Will the husband to be divorce her when she hits 40 or 50 or 60? She ain’t gonna have those looks anymore. He can deal with it then? So the bochor better be prepared. And if he can deal with it then, he can deal with it now.
popa, what if the change in metabolism after a child or two or three no longer allows her to maintain something close to her ideal weight or looks? What recourse will the now stuck husband have?
If the husband can now live with it happily, there is no reason to suspect the bocher dating can live happily with a less than fantasized weight or even looks.
I disagree. A son has to listen to his parents first. A daughter has to listen first to her husband. Jewish Law 101.
‘A son is a son all your life. A daughter is a daughter till she finds a spouse’
popa is correct. If a Yeshiva bochor walks on a bus or train and there is no seat available, a BY girl should get up and give hers to him.
How is everyone’s fast going so far?
popa, you’re single. Don’t kid us, you gave that away long ago. Here are some of the lesser proofs from your threads:
Sure nothing is conclusive, but one needn’t be a rocket scientist to figure this out!
It was entirely out of line and abhorrent, not to mention erroneous and unseemly, for him – a bochor – to tell a mother already in great pain for more than one reason that “you obviously have some kind of guilty conscience” and “you can always apologize and change” and that “you can work on yourself”, to mention some of the more offensive comments.