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Here is a VERY real AND deep fact you need to know about the Torah:
yes it is the blue print of the world, yes, it was given to us by Hashem and every nuance is applicable to us anytime, everywhere.
But there is an additional dimmension:
“LO Bashamayim Hi”- Torah isn’t found in Heaven, it isn’t s/t far fethched or unattainable, in fact its very much in our reach.
In the Gemara, there is a story of a bunch of Tanaim who strongly disagreed about a psak of another Tana( I believe Rabi Shmuel, but im not entirely sure) in any case the Tana did everything he cud to prove to the group of Tanaim that he was write and he even said “the walls of this bais medresh will cave if I am right” and
the walls caved in…the Tanaim didn’t go for it…then he said “a Bas Kol( heavenly voice) will declare im right” and it did….so the Tanaim answered him “LO Bashamyim hi”, the psak( ruling) does not come from Heaven. It comes from Bais Din here on Earth! and says in Gemara that Hashem was saying at that moment “nitzchuni Banai”- my sons have won!
What does all this mean?
Hashem gave us the Torah and wants US, as in our Gedolim, to
give us guidance and clarity. Talmidey Chachamim determine
what it means( even if in Shamayim its different) because
Torah was given to US!!
That is why, even if you have different understandings/defintions/ruling etc, its all TRUE and all REAL
and all Impacting and all Acceptable!! because Hashem gave us the power to determine and understand what the Torah is all about! Lo Bashamayim hi, its
here on earth for us to rule through sanhedrin/Gedolim
and follow their guidance. its all real and true, because thats
how Hashem wants it! every generation needs a different mahalach,
and our Gedolim, who are immersed in Torah, determine what it is!
This is actually a very serious shiala!!
when I was in high school, someone mentioned that it may be ossur,
but I didn’t really give it much thought, thinking its prob just a chumra.
well in seminary, I asked my halacha teacher, since many girls were taking pics near/infront/with the sun and he was shocked that
girls in the seminary were doing that since he was convinced we all probably knew that it was assur!
in any case, the next day in class he told the whole seminary that
its forbidden to take pictures of the sun since it falls under catergory of “temuna” ( which ironically is the hebrew word for camera photo) which is part of the prohibition to replicate the
sun and stars in any real form and that its more serious than a drawing whose resemblance to sun may be sujective ( since a photo acurately shows a sun much more than a drawing).
I believed he quoted Harav Moshe Feinstein, but unfort I do not have the actual sources.
After sem, I’v heard it from other people as well that the its a real issur, not just a chumra!
my fav one is “Chilax” for “chill” and “relax”( we didn’t make it up but my family def uses it alot)…we always use it when someone overreacts or gets overly anxious…”like chilax man!”
When I read this thread…i actually had a sigh of relief that Im not the only one feeling this way!
yes, i know many girls are single, but not many feel comfortable
to vent…or to be a listener to s/o who feels the need to vent!
so thank u all for ur courage to write about ur feelings…
Ya this shabbos was hard for me too…saying the rosh chodesh bentchin again reminded me that another month past and nothing on the horizon…another month past like the many many other months with no calls.
But I know deep down that Hashem is looking out for me! I know that nothing stands in His way- and that the moment He will decide, it WILL happen!
i have to keep reminding myself whose running the show, cuz s/t it feels like we’r so dependent on others in shidduchim- for our friends/neighbors/relatives to say good things about us, for well meaning people to give that “push” when needed, for those mothers to consider us, to make those calls! for those yentas, to stop
making us feel inadequate and make us another topic to discuss…
but in truth, its all a show,Hashem pulls all the strings!!! it can happen in blink of an eye…and like you girls, am waiting for the right one and I truly hope it will be soon for everyone!
Aries, im sorry that you feel personally attacked in this forum. As Yidden, we all feel very strongly about Torah and you can tell from the way people are passionate about their stance, that Torah means the world to them and they are rightfully not willing to compromise on even one iota.
The problem is, the way people discuss their stance/opinion.
Im willing to bet that most of the people who opposed your stance/opinions, wud have explained their side in much nicer, meaningful way if they spoke to you in person.
When we go explaining to Balei Teshuva, or any Yid who seek guidance, we explain it with patience and warmth.
I think that the biggest drawback of discussing things on a forum, is that you lose the sense of the “person” behind the screenname.
Its much easier to yell/ argue harshly/ put down another person when your doing it to a “screenname”.
Now, please dont’ misunderstand me. If s/o brings a proof for shulchan Aruch that s/t is allowed or not allowed, there can be NO compromises on that ( even if many pp have decided to ignore the halacha and do as they wish).
If we even start compromising on halacha, it goes down from there, becuase there is no end to where else we start to become lax about…
However ( and this is to the general CR public), more than often, situations arise that are “grey”, where one Rov approves of a certain custom while others don’t.
There is not need to bash one side over the other but to respecfully agree to disagree.
Aries, im sorry that your life experience has lead you to lose hope and faith in Rabbanim. I can imagine that being heartbreaking and depressing because our rabbanim are our leaders.
However know that we are in Dor of Ikva Demeshischa ( era of Mashiach) where it has been prophesized that there will be confusion at same time there will be influx of knowledge.
( unfort. we live in an era where not every “rebi” is a Rov…there’s a big difference)
I strongly recommend you find yourself a mentor, a Rov, who
is earnest in Yiras Shamayim and is baki in Torah and whom you can
trust.
Hatzlacha!
Thanks for the support everyone!
someone made a comment that this thread is depressing…well it wasn’t to me! It made me feel better letting it out and even better hearing words of encouragment from others!
Just know that sometimes its not the actual “singlehood” that hurts…but the comments, the looks and the pressure that others put on me that really gets me!
I B”H am doing my Hishtadlus and looking back, I don’t think i’v made wrong decision regarding matters in shidduchim( focusing on trivial things etc). So Im hoping that Hashem will very soon send the Right One my way!
And Shimmel: B”H I am keeping busy doing the things I enjoy doing. Its just hard s/t to keep doing even the things u like, when ur constantly waiting for the moment, the right time it’ll happen.
ok, i feel like kvetching too…
my 23rd birthday is coming up soon and while most pp celebrate their birthdays with gifts and cakes…i feel like im totally not looking forward to that.
you ask why? im still single, waiting for my bashert and i feel like i have to deal with alot of stress!
Im frusterated with shadchanim who dont return calls, im frusterated with pp who come up with theories why im still single, im tired of seeing everyone around me so nervous about me being still single…cuz that just makes ME nervous!
I can’t look anymore at wedding invitations…I have no patience anymore to attend vorts, bridal showers…and weddings! its tiring, its draining…its DEPRESSING!
Just this past yom tov, i bumped into some classmates strolling down with their babies…I tried hard to smile, to comment how adorable they looked, but deep inside it hurt, it hurt that i wasn’t zoche yet…
so this is more or less the end of my “kvetch”…and i feel already much better letting it out, cuz i can’t kvetch to anyone in my family…you see they’r too nervous about me lol;)