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What exactly is wrong with spending time with your kids shbbs afternoon, after you learned with them? You can’t pressure kids with learning ALL DAY.
But do you always do as you say? Because you usually are VERY extreme with ur opinions and it just seems like ur telling everyone what they’re doing wrong and I doubt ur doing these things yourself.
Mosherose? Just wondering…the CR is gemara or mishnayis? I’m just imagining that if ur on here then it must be Torah…
Mosherose-
My guess is that you are one very bored teenager…
EDITED
SjS- that’s fine with me. But that doesn’t mean that Chassidish couples can’t get to love each other, like you love your husband, after their marriage.
SjS- so were mine. Part of my expectation for a good husband is someone I absolutely love. Otherwise I wouldn’t be able to live with him. Depends what you consider as part of a good husband!
But the difference in the Chassidishe world is, that they get to love each others(and that means genuine love in most cases).
Gavra- while many in BP and Willi are on govt programs, I don’t know the reason for that.
But I do know that THAT IS THE REASON why pple look at Chassidim so negatively.
I think it stems from not going to college so they can’t find decent jobs.
Well, I don’t like this fact either but I’m happy I don’t live on govt programs and can afford my life expenses B”H.
About kasha’s comment- I don’t know where he/she takes it from that there are no divorces by Chassidim. It is FALSE.
There’s nothing wrong if someone divorces, as long as there was a valid reason for it. No stigma involved.
SjS- no, Chassidim divorce for normal reasons like anybody else would.
And I’m trying to understand, you’re saying that they have lasting marriages because they’re looking for:
A good husband
A good father
Someone they get along with
What else would ANYONE want in marriage? These 3 things include it all! (Besides looks).
Someone that’s a good husband includes good middos and loving/taking care of your wife(bec its the only way you can be a good husband).
Plus you get along with him!
What else do you have in mind besides all of this?
Gavra, I’m not understanding. Do you seriously believe that there are no divorces by Chassidim? There are hundreds if not thousands.
Chassidim leave their spouses for the same reasons others do, but it happens less.
I don’t know the reason for that statistic, but I believe it’s because when looking for a shidduch, we concentrate so much on the INNER person and make sure he’s right for me. Looks only comes AFTER that. Is that perhaps why Chassidim have less divorces?
But definitely not because they stay in abusive marriages.
ABSOLUTELY NOT.
I don’t know who tells such things to you but they’re outright false statements.
Please go learn the facts.
Gavra-btw- Chassidim aren’t one group. Its rather a stereotype.
Within Chassidish circles, you have so many different people.
Some of them are just like litvish people but they’re dressed in a different levush. Some of them are perhaps slightly different with their lifestyles too. And yes, they have some fanatics but the outside world has fanatics too.
You have a very negative picture about “chassidim”.
Go out and meet some of them.
Gavra- are you for real? Do you really think that chassidishe pple live in a different world where they don’t know abuse exists?
The reason why chassidishe marriages work is because they get to love, respect, and appreciate their spouses AFTER THEY GET MARRIED. The bond they form after marriage CANNOT be formed prior to marriage even if you date for years. They have real love for their spouse WITHOUT ANY REASON to it. Not because of looks.(Obviously as long as they look decent!)
They appreciate their spouses for their special traits which they inquire about b4 the shidduch.
Chassidish men and woman have the same desires in marriage and love as others do, and their marriages are based on that.
They learn to be happy(really happy) without going out for suppers and vacationing every now and then.
They don’t stay in a marriage if they’re not happy, besides if there’s kids and they decide to bare with it. They DO have divorces you understand.
Chassidish pple are JUST LIKE YOU but with a different lifestyle.
Young- I was just thinking about the same thing. If that peerim group’s ipad was confiscated! Lol!
Haros- its not “ultrafrum”. It’s the entire chassidish world and they mostly have great marriages.
I think ill be here same!!
“So Kasha, yes, within the correct framework we need common sense to know where husband has the last word and where husband and wife need to compromise.”
THAT line explains it best. THAT is how marriage is supposed to work.
HOT- that is not feminism. That is UGLY MIDDOS. Bad middos happen by men and woman and have nothing to do with feminism.
When my flames go off, it definitely cracks, makes big noises, and smells awful from burning oil but no, it doesn’t splatter.
I also add water to the glass.
I also heard that tipping floats can be caused if the quality float isn’t good.
Maybe try using floats from a different company and see if it’s any better.
Mosherose- ur so right. Most households on this planet have the husband sitting in bais hamedrash ALL DAY AND NIGHT, and the wife is busy ironing and cooking at this time.
Great marriage.
The torah wants us to be realistic too. We have to do ALL WE CAN to keep our marriages strong so we can have happy kids.
Anyone heard about not kissing the sole of a baby’s foot? Anything to that one???
EDITED, Although the discussion is interesting, the olam in CR is not the best place to definitively determine if a Yiddish practice is the result of hidden Chochma or not.
If you’re using spring service, then you would email to- 0000000000(replace with ur wifes cell#)@messaging.sprintpcs.com
BP Totty- is that ignorance or what? You really don’t know what goes on upstate between our HEIMISHE(yes yeshivish and chassidishe) teens?
Go visit woodridge/woodbourne town one motzei shbbs and see the hangouts there for yourself.
What a disgrace.
Yes, baseball caps are ok, but hanging out with opposite gender teens is NOT.
D a, we were all too busy rejoicing at the good news and praying for the future!
BP totty- besides emailing and texting, let’s not forget the old fashioned technique- VERBAL!! Not compliment each others and make our spouse feel great with a few words!!
I wish I can get out alone with my hub once a week. Problem is with sitters for the kids. They are a fortune!
Any advice out there?
Do you wash out ur sink daily? It may be an outside smell. Try to scrub the sink with comet/cleanser and rinse well. That should really be done every night.
Otherwise there might be something wrong with ur pipes.
Emoticon- I know that feeling. I always like to say it’s a 6th sense that woman have!!
I really learned to trust my feeling. I’m usually right. Amazing and I wonder what it is.
Engaged couple need to stop speaking to each others too often and definitely should stop meeting.
It doesn’t bring any good.
Of course a good shbbs, and an ocassional phonecall should be, but this whole idea of chosson, kallah spending so much time with each others, just ruins it for so many.
I know it seems unrealistic, we all couldn’t wait for the next phonecall/meeting but it must be changed.
Devorak- OBVIOUSLY, if you don’t have a ready apt, then you need a hotel. You know I don’t mean that.
But in a case where an apt is all ready and set up, I can’t understand how a couple can wait an extra night to move in there!!
I saved the hotel for a different night!
Romance? On the night of a wedding? Hhhmmm…
I would save it for a later opportunity.
I think its so wrong. Hotels are not appropriate for such a big heilige night.
Go home, you have a beautiful new home, and start building it!!
Mischeif- that’s terrible. You shouldn’t think so much about tragedies. Don’t think into them so much. The point is not that we should become traumatized, the point is only that we should become better people.
I love my wife’s neshama. I’m indifferent on her feet. –
Just a guy- you couldn’t have said it better!
I once read- maybe someone knows a source for it, that every dream stems from one of 3 things:
1. Something you think about a lot.
2.From eating too much before going to sleep.
3. Or its a real cholom with a real meaning to it.
Mosherose, you’re reminding me of some CR old timers…
Aha ok I hear you. I guess we’ll each deal with our marriage each to their own.
Moshe eating milchig- you can have a glass of milk and piece of cheese. Doesn’t say to eat CHEESECAKE. (But I accepted the cheesecake “mitzvah” too!)
Mosherose I hope you’re kidding with that cooking part.
You invite only friends that you really want should be there from beginning to end. If you would LIKE to sit by their simcha all night, then they want to sit by your simcha all night.
Other friends just come and say mazel tov and hang around a little.
I attend MANY non-family simchas a year(neighbors, work related, husbands friends, old aquaintances), but only a few minutes each.
The only meals I sit down to is immediate family or if my aunt marries off.
Oomis same here. I was like enjun???? Guess next time we will speak up!!
Does this go according to income eligibility or is it only for low income people as usual?
Musiclover- that’s so cute!!
In general, I hate when singers don’t sounds their words clearly. What’s the point of the song if they’re just swallowing a whole bunch of words?
4-jungle
6-junction
Clearheaded- I love that idea for a thread! Mybe we shld open separate ones for men/woman! I really think we can all share some nice ideas!
Hey, 600kilo, nice to hear from ya’!
Abi mlebt from lipa. (Popular goyish song- in the jungle…)
What a sad world. Songs are supposed to inspire us because they should come from the songs in the bais hamikdash. If they’re from a non jewish source then the purpose of the whole koach neginah is being defeated.
Just did. A whole bunch of garbage.
I know someone that googled herself and a whole disgusting dirty story came up with her name involved! She was devastated!
HIE- Huh?
I’m pretty sure that it is assur according to halacha to say that the girl/boy is heavy because it’s something that you can see for urself when meeting.