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I’m a SAHM and loving it b”h.
And I don’t think you’ll get an accurate average here in the CR.
Licking a popsicle stick.
I always throw it out b4 I get to the end of it cuz that taste of the wooden stick is so horrid.
Always runs- WB and how are you doing?
I always loved Mod 80/Feivel’s intelligent posts. I miss them.
I like what adams said – to forget frumkeit for now.
Focus on his safety and “middos”. Teach him that even though he doesn’t want to live by torah rules, he still has to be a good person.
No drugs, no other illegal or dangerous activity, no dangerous people. And to have SOME structure to his day.
Otherwise he can do as he pleases.
Hopefully, this will teach him appropriate conduct, and perhaps he’ll return one day. At least he’ll turn out to be a decent person.
Again, easier said than done. Hatzlacha.
OP- yes, it definitely is easier said (written!) than done.I can see a very rebellious child not caring about those rules.
I just thought it shows a lot of understading from the parents side, by giving your son his independence he now needs, and at the same time it show care and concern that he stay safe.
Then you should also Daven and daven! Besoros tovos.
Maybe tell him that you understand his need for freedom and you will grant it to him on some conditions:
1. He must tell you what time he’ll be home that night.
2. Tell you who he’s hanging out with for the day.
3. He should tell you 2 things he did that day.
3. He won’t engage in any dangerous/illegal activity.
Etc… These are just examples. You can set your own conditions.
Hashem should help you and your son overcome this challenge and give you strength to deal with it.
Nice post, yichusdik.
Well written.
op, it depends a lot on your child.
When my oldest was three, he walked like an 8 year old. My other son who’s 5, still walks like a 3 year old on the street. He’s veeery lazy and always exhausted!
It also depends, as mentioned above, how often you take far walks.
Don’t rush to buy one. Double strollers are very heavy and klutzy. I HATE to use mine. I use it only when I absolutely must. (For exapmle when going out to the seder and returning home at 3 in the morning.)
They sell buggy boards which connect to any standard stroller for an older child to stand on. Those are pretty good.
Most married people are emotionally divorced
WHY?
Really. Where do you take that from?
Pic of kerestirer rebbe is for MICE. Not roaches.
Combat gel works wonderful, believe me! I’m experienced with roaches, unfortunately….
People here think they can post what they please since they’re hiding under a screen name. What they’re forgetting is, the if they hurt someone, they will still be held accountable for it, as with Hashem, there’s no anonymity.
Another reason people are nasty here, is because they aren’t communicating face to face, so they feel they can say what they want.
Some of the most difficult things in Yiddishkeit, are so great and beautiful.
Mazel tov Bubby Always Here! Lots of Yiddish Nachas from them all!
+1
Love your post Oomis!
Lovebeingjewish- tell her exactly that. She probably doesn’t realize it herself.
OP- you should read some pregnancy books and articles geared toward fathers to be.
A mamin- some women really have horrible pregnancie and are always feeling sick. How normal can you be when you throw up twice each and every day? Not all of us, but some woman do.
Some women more, some women less.
Some days more, some days less.
And after 9 months, there’s postpartum, then nursing hormones, then deprivation of sleep from crying baby hormone.
Hatzlacha!
Arwsf- wow, I can’t believe I missed your post last week about you divorcing. Kol hakovod to you if you felt this needed to be done. I didn’t realize the situation is leading up to this.
I hope you and your children will adjust well to the changes and you should all be happy. Life should only get better from here on.
And thanks for checking in and updating us.
Zahavasdad- you do know that it was far more common for mothers to die in childbirth before all the hospital and medical intervention.
I constantly have that sixth sense feeling and am 95 percent of the time correct.
If it doesn’t happen to you, you cannot understand it.
Funny, however, I thought it’s more of a female thing, yet I see from the posts here that the men in the CR understand it too!
000646- why do you say oddly enough?
How many? 8?
And if it was 80, were they ALL terrible people?
And did you ever meet a Chossid that wasn’t Satmar? Because there’s still a whole wide world of Chassidim out there.
As a side note,
You MOs need to work on your Ahavas Yisroel. I have yet to meet one MO person who is fond of a Chossid.
And hardly any of you met more than a handful of Chassidim in your entire life. If any.
I have no problem with anyone. I like any person who has basic Mentchlichkeit and and Ehrlichkeit.
Broaden your horizon, people, broaden your horizon….
I’m ashamed to be a pessimist. Proud though, to be working on becoming an optimist. I get better every day.
Zahavas- in most cases, word gets around.
Zahavas and Feif-
In my very Chassidish community, a couple that divorces over petty stuff, gets the stigma, and pple tend to frown upon them.
HOWEVER, a man or woman who ran away for a valid reason (abuse or other extreme situation), is IN NO WAY different than one of our regulars. No one judges them in a negative way. Most people in the community even support them for divorcing.
You people all know about 5 chassidish people, and that’s your view about the thousands of Chassidim worldwide.
Open your eyes a little and get to know the different Chassidish people before judging.
Derech- so they would have the same problem as the Chassidish couple if they need to divorce.
Z- divorce in Chassidish communities is definitely harder for ONE reason: by the time a Chassidish couple is ready for divorce, they already have a child or two or six.
Just to clarify, I don’t believe beshows are better than dating. It’s a pretty weird system. But so is dating. And both are far from perfect as facts show.
Feif- I don’t get your logic. If a woman wants to have 20 children, then she doesn’t need to have a good marriage? She still needs that great man, and they still need SOME love, to a certain extent, if they are planning to live together for some decades.
Zahavas- that’s exactly the difference of dating and beshowing. That our parents try their best. We don’t fall in love before marriage.
After marriage, is when we start loving our spouse. Some people sadly never develope that love.
But out of the Chassidish world, dating makes you “see if there’s chemistry-(supposedly), and guess what? It doesn’t always work either. Many couples have longlasting love, and some couples’ love get drastically diminished after a short while married.
Same percentages of successful marriage in all communities. Only difference is that by chassidim, the failed ones never fell in love, and by others, that the love disappeared.
Any btw Feif, most people who want marriage,chassidish or MO, do plan to have children together. But that’s not the ONLY reason to get married.
And even if it would be, it doesn’t mean that they can just marry anyone. They still need to get along and love each other.
So your statement about beshowing because they’re only doing it to have kids, is so senseless. And I’m glad you think all Chassidim are that stupid.
A small number of narrowminded pple think of children as the main reason for marriage.
MOST people don’t. Your wife probably didn’t speak to all the hundreds of Chassidish woman around.
Soliek- have you tried spoons on 13? Donut man?
Zahavas- yes, there’s pressure to saying yes. But it’s definitely an option to say no. We’re not forced.
But you have to understand, that after one or 2 beshows, most pple don’t have a good reason to say no. They don’t see any more than their parents already found out for them
We basically trust our parents A LOT.
Many of these marriages work, some don’t.
To say whoever has more divorces is nonsense. You have good marriages in each community, and then you have ugly marriages too. It’s the same everywhere.
Soleik- there are sooo many store that sell coffee here. Practically every bakery. Did you try them all?
More- I’m not stating whether dating/beshow is better. I’m just telling you that the way Chassidim go to a beshow, is the same as a “dater’s” 3rd date. After all the info that Chassidishe parents collect. They turn the world over to hear everything about a boy/girl.
I love click here!
Soleik- you betta invite us all to the chanukas habayis…
We sure did miss you! We also inquired about you on numerous threads!
Thanks for checking in!
Big deal. We had so much fun together when we took Dor Yeshurim in school.
S2021- welcome back? Am I dreaming you weren’t here in a long while, or did I just not see your posts?
Btw I think about you a lot how you are.
Please name it The Computer Room, in honor of the coffee room!
Seriously, I like Tech Talk like Says Me mentioned.
Mazel tov!!
May you always be happy together and share a beautiful life!
I hope you sent her a nice big flower arrangement! 😉
1.Chocolate
2.Chocolate
3.Chocolate
4.Chocolate
5. Bbq tortilla chips
Too bad. That’s what discussions are all about. You won’t change it.
OP, I feel very sorry for you but don’t see how can help.
Perhaps you can speak to your children’s Yeshiva about tuition? Ask them for a break? Explain the situation to them and make somw kind of installment plan?
So you’re asking 2 questions here. Because the amount the average frum worker makes, doesn’t necessarily cover enough to make ends meet.