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yeshivishe kup: Osek until what point?
Are you asking in terms of time or accomplishment ? I assume all would agree that there is some Chiyuv to 1) know how to perform mitzvos properly, and 2) spend one’s time not otherwise taken up by earning a living, etc.. in the study of Torah. The latter would seem to serve several purposes, even if one studies those areas that are not “Nogei’ah L’Maaseh”, such as development of Midos Tovos, development of an appreciation for the “wisdom” of the Torah and of Chazal, and last but not least, to keep oneself occupied so he doesn’t do other things, V’HaMaivin Yavin.
Perhaps you are trying to distinguish between those who study Torah as a subject versus those who study Lishmah.
So to sum things up, we need to follow the Shulchan Aruch’s guidance in all matters, and we also need to communicate sensitively with our spouses about potential areas of discord, i.e. money. Usually, when someone studies to become a Rav or Posek, he has to know the Shulchan Aruch pretty well. Although there are only 4 sections to it, most of the Rabbonim who confer Semicha (ordination) on a would-be Rav also encourage their candidates to become knowledgeable in the “fifth” section of the Shulchan Aruch, which is how to be a mentsch (I trust that word is sufficiently well-known) and how to deal with people in a humanist, effective manner. The Shulchan Aruch definitely doesn’t want couples to fight over money or anything else. Everyone, not only the Rabbonim, have to behave in a way that is consistent with the fifth section of the Shulchan Aruch.
I heard a story about a husband who “dragged” his wife to the Rav so the Rav could confirm to her that since she was now married, she was obligated to listen (he really meant obey) to her husband over her father, as the Halacha states. The Rav confirmed that, but then he said to the husband “If you want your wife to live with you to a ripe old age, she will only merit that from listening to her father (Kibud Av); not from listening to you !”
I did not see anyone mentioning that a wife has the right to say “Ee Efshy B’Takonas Chachomim”, keep her own earnings and release the husband from supporting her. Admittedly, it’s not a good recipe for Shalom Bayis .. . . . .
Isn’t the mitzvah to be “Osek” in words of Torah, as per the first of the Birchos HaTorah (La’asok B’Divrei Sorah) that we say each morning ? That should open up a wide area of acceptable reading/learning/engrossing (if that’s a word) in Torah study.