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Popa, I think neither are evil. The difference is though, weight can be changed but height cannot (unless you are talking about 15 year olds getting married).
I understand Sac. I am in no way tall (5’3.5″) but I have trouble with men who are my height. My husband is 5’11” (not particularly tall), but tall enough for me. Besides, isn’t a woman supposed to look up to her husband? 😛
Some people exude tznius behavior, even if their wardrobe is less than tzanua.
Some people exude immodesty in actions even if they cover every inch.
I’m not sure which of those two are actually more tzanua. But in general, actions speak louder than words. [Not that it excuses the woman dressed improperly]
(And we can’t forget the orthodox women who wear burqas that fly in the face of what our rabbonim teach us. More covered is not always more halachically acceptable)
My son is MO! He loves to sing adon olam on the bimah.
Might I remind everyone that it was just MLK day?
Yes.
What does Popa think?
http://lmgtfy.com/ too!
This is hysterical. It would be even funnier if it were true.
So far, everyone has chosen different names so it hasn’t been a problem (my kids have/had an oma and opa, bobbie and z-EYE-dy, nana and zaidy and grandma and grandpa).
In german, Oma gets promoted to Omama. But since my mother didn’t take Oma (she didn’t want to change her mother’s name) she chose a different one.
Erosen, check Craigs List and buy a used one.
LOL Yit. That was my first thought too.
passion, do you know where that minhag stems from?
Sac, they absolutely had issues. But certain things are harder in second marriages – money and children are two of them. If it had been a first marriage, probably both would have compromised in some way. And they wouldn’t have had to deal with the second issue because eventually it would be their children, not his or hers.
Oomis, I never would have thought to discuss my husband’s thoughts on generic vs name brand before marriage. We absolutely had money conversations, but not in those details. This was also a very short (and long distance) relationship, which further complicated everything.
Well, if you constantly halve the distance between yourself and a wall, you will never get there.
At the two brissim we made, we asked the caterer to bring cut foil for people to take along. We figured if people were coming to the bris, they may not have time to have breakfast before running to work.
Second marriages generally come with more baggage (children, money issues, reason for the failure of the first marriage etc). In addition, there are those who just can’t really make marriage work (or refuse to do whats necessary) but don’t quite understand that.
Let me give an example of a 2nd marriage that ended in 6 weeks. They get married after a short dating time. She wants friendship cottage cheese, he wants to buy generic. Her kids want to come out to visit and get to know her husband. They only eat Rubashkin, which she wants to buy. He only wants to buy empire because its cheaper. This literally broke apart their marriage. (Granted, its indicative of other issues rather than the chicken or cottage cheese, but those were both major fights).
BP Totty, you just describe my relationship with my husband during our college years (we were friends then dated then engaged then married in our 4 years).
If the age is changed, I think it should be based on halacha. So 12 for a girl, 13 for a boy right? Why the arbitrary 15?
Most of my posts are fine. Some of the deleted ones I understand, some I don’t. I think after a while you kind of learn what they will or will not accept.
OK Ben Levi, so basically neither of us has any sort of real information.
my job challenges me to learn new things all the time and apply engineering concepts to real life.
Who cares? Those who put money (or fantasty money) on the games 🙂
Chicken pot pie
Chicken Chow Mein
Charliehall, were you in a Yekke shul?
I was in my grandparents shul. There were maybe 5 women in the women’s section and there were room for 75 or so. A woman comes in and told me I was in her seat. Of course I moved, but I just chalked it up to a German thing.
My husband’s name is Joseph 🙂
I recommend doing part time college and part time Yeshiva. You get to continue learning but are working towards a parnassah opportunity. There are a few reasons I recommend this:
1) Your family may experience economic hardship and have to stop supporting you. If you are trained in a profession, you can go right to work
2) Its a lot easier to finish your schooling pre-marriage/children. It will also make you a better catch (you can learn full time or work to support your family).
3) You seem uncomfortable with the concept of living off of others. Kol hakavod! But remember, if your family wants to support you, and you aren’t taking advantage of them, then its ok to be supported.
Good luck with your decision.
Ben Levi, are there any statistics on rates of divorce in the frum community broken down by affiliation?
From my anecdotal evidence (and I realize its anedctodal), the divorce rate seems to be the same.
However, on a poll of women, money is the number one argument/problem in marriage.
Ofcourse, it wasn’t really serious. I love my husband and I wouldn’t trade him for all the money in the world.
Me.
I would marry rich 😛
Hey I got a subtitle! But its misleading…what do you think the J in my screen name stands for?
I agree with s2021. A uniform is sort of a cop out in terms of really teaching tznius.
Also, you would have less girls who wore a uniform in school and then inappropriate clothing outside of school because they aren’t going to buy a double wardrobe.
And to whoever said there is individuality in shoes and hairstyles…um, my elementary school implemented rules against “stylish” haircuts. The more right wing schools limited hair length and style to a few very specific ones). Lets be real, uniforms and school rules are to supress individuality.
(From someone who didn’t mind her uniform)
Is Joseph Jewish Philosopher?
Canadian version of the Gap.
we freeze the bits and pieces and make stuffing.
Basically you take the challah, add some water and then squeeze out. Mix in chopped up onions, celery or zucchini, ground beef, eggs, salt and pepper. Bake with chicken pieces on top or pour a can of chicken stock on top.
Its super yummy.
A combination of the college admissions director and the financial aid office.
I guess I’m old LOL. Considering people think I’m 14 all the time (I’m double that), I don’t know if that’s accurate.
I say “Thank G-d” and have never been given funny looks or comments.
Funny story:
My sister was in seminary and we went to visit her. We were staying at the LaRomme Hotel. Al Gore was there (for some reason, the King David was booked solid for something else and he ended up there). Anyway, they cleared out the lobby but we went up to a floor where the hallway overlooked the lobby. As Al Gore walked through, my sister called down “Hi Mr. Gore!” He turned and looked up and said “How are you doing?” to which she responded “Baruch Hashem!” The Israeli soldiers with him were laughing hysterically.
Divorced Guy, each person has a range in which they are willing to fit. So one person may say no TV, but its ok if they watch some shows on the computer. Others may not want ANY TV in their house.
Its not up to a shadchan to decide where the individuals should compromise. They will have to live with the choices.
That being said, if a shadchan approaches you with an idea of someone who is in the ballpark but has one area that isn’t 100% to you, maybe its a good idea to broaden your horizons.
I’ve been told by friends of mine who teach general studies in very Yeshivish schools is that the classes are touted as not important and therefore the students are less likely to take the teacher seriously. Also, the principals don’t back them up because its just general studies classes and not Judaic studies.
I don’t know if this is true. I do know, that when I was in elementary school, we were definitely meaner to the non-religious or non-Jewish teachers. Although, we were rather mean to a teacher right out of seminary when I was in 5th grade and basically ripped her to shreds. So maybe kids just feed on weaker teachers.
You can’t marry a person expecting them to change.
iybyu, I don’t think its shallow. Attraction is a part of marriage and if you don’t think you can be attracted to her, its not for you.
A bit of advice though? My sister went out with a guy and when he walked in I thought he was really ugly and squashed looking. She dating him a few times but it just wasn’t right. Then she set him up with her friend and they ended up getting married. After getting to know him a bit more, his looks got better and better.
If you can’t find a “real” reason (like hashkafa or something), I recommend a few more dates to see. I don’t think 2 dates truly does it. I would recommend 4-5 if you are hashkafically similiar and are having a nice time with her.
I promoted agreement! We should throw a party.
Hey Feif, I didn’t realize I know! Hmm, now who are you? LOL
I don’t know, but how about buying an external hard drive?
Oh and I really love Get Smart.
I’ve stayed in fairly clean hotels. I’ve stayed in rat holes. I’ve stayed in luxury hotels.
I live outside NYC.
The plows did a decent job. However, there were a few streets where they plowed a turn, so you can only go in one direction. Its rather annoying.
My nieces went to a fairly frum OOT school that had vacation around Christmas time. There were a lot of boarders and it made sense for their families.
Where I live, we have “Yeshiva break” which is at the end of January. Its a really nice time for families to bond.
bjjkid, different people react to divorce differently. Sometimes, there are issues relating to it. Its why people are cautious.
Then again, my father died when I was young so I had a “different” package.
Each person has different baggage. The shidduch system doesn’t really allow for this.
I don’t know if this is an urban legend or not. When I was around 10 years old I hear it.
There was a school play and they had a “marriage” scene. Two kids, over bar/bat mitzvah went up, said Harei at with others around and he handed her a ring. It was part of the plot. What I heard was it was paskened as a real wedding and they had to get an actual divorce of sorts…but there was no yichud afterwards so I don’t know how it actually went down.