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According to many rabbonim, there is absolutely nothing wrong with a sheitel that looks 100% natural.
Women cover their hair because its erva, not so that someone else can tell if they are covering their hair.
From someone who doesn’t own a sheitel.
Depends on who is ultimately going to be the provider. If the woman, then she should pay to show she can. If he will be, then he should. If they both plan to split the money/household responsibilities they should go dutch or tradeoff dates.
LOL Popa. I like your theory and I may borrow it.
My husband and I paid approximately equally. Depending on who had money at that time. Both of us had various jobs during college so it wasn’t a huge burden and we didn’t do anything too expensive.
Wolf,
I find giving away “my” money to tzedaka (especially budgeting maaser) very difficult. I always made my husband do it because I just couldn’t.
Then our companies offered an automatic split payment. We went with it. Our tzedaka has its own account and then we pull from there.
I think the act of designating that money to tzedaka is important. You know it won’t be there if bills are tight. Its already spent and gone. So as you budget, you are passively aware of it.
This was kind of rambly.
Ah I love Kafka.
I used to play pool with my friends. It was good clean fun, but its better if you can get a pool table in one of your friends houses.
GAW, I agree.
myfriend, he doesn’t blame going OTD specifically on being an older single. But Orthodox society (not Torah) isolates older singles. Its not blaming Torah, but society needs to be more inclusive.
You seem to be afraid of criticism of the Orthodox world. We (as in Orthodox Jews) aren’t perfect and have plenty of ways to improve ourselves. Introspection is important.
Now I’m wondering where I got the potato test from. Maybe it was my brother in law who told me about it? I know we don’t hold that way…
I didn’t have time to search for the star-k’s posting.
I really need to figure out the potato thing.
mdd, I know of one case like that. And the husband was a mentch, freed his wife (who ended up marrying a non-Jew) and was blessed to meet a wonderful woman. They now have a beautiful daughter together.
That’s it. ONE case. 99.9999% of divorces are wanted.
Verbal abuse is often hard to prove. Problems in a marriage are often hard to prove.
What does a man have to gain by trapping his wife in a marriage she doesn’t want? Absolutely nothing but pain to both of them.
My best friend’s brother went OTD. He told me it was really hard to be an older single and still frum because Jewish life is really built upon family life. We need to be more inclusive of singles as they are and not just as people to set up with anyone that comes along.
GAW, does that include people who bash great MO rabbonim like Rabbi Moshe Dovid Tendler?
MosheRose, I’m not sure that would leave anyone but you posting.
This thread makes me so sad. Its literally making me cry.
I’m thank Hashem every day for my wonderful husband. And I cry for those like eclipse (who thankfully seems to have a happy ending) and for those who are trapped.
Beis Din has a lot more power and unfortunately, not all of them are truly kosher.
I think its the Star-K that has a microwave test – I forget the details, but its something to the effect of if you put a potato in for ten minutes and the top of the microwave is not steaming hot when you take it out, the microwave can be used with a basic cover. But CYLOR to decide how you hold.
I’m not sure what “thanks to people like you” really means.
I had no involvement in the case. All the evidence I’ve read/heard/seen including statements from her Charedi roomate point towards her guilt.
And a woman stuck in a marriage like that should use every legal avenue to put the screws to her husband.
So right, as usual, you are so wrong. Many rabbonim who deal with these women call them agunos.
The truth is, title is not as important as freeing these women.
It is typical for munchausen by proxy perpetrators to end up paralyzed or injured themselves once they no longer have their victim.
I find it a little silly when people cry “they are doing because the woman is charedi!” If the “zionists” really wanted to cripple Charedi society in Israel, they would just pull all government subsidies and let them wallow in their poverty.
I agree with Popa.
Keep in mind, on paper, everyone is A+ perfect. In real life, you begin to see flaws.
Also, there is always someone “better” out there, but they may not be right for your child.
Be happy for your daughter. If you see abusive tendencies, show your daughter.
Mod80, I agree with you. [Shehecheyanu!]
A Jew has the potential to climb to greater spiritual heights, but it also means if he fails, he failed much worse.
Perhaps there weren’t enough flames from menorahs in Israel so Hashem had to light a flame.
I agree with Charlie though.
IME, the utility industry is a great place for a woman.
So right, how do you suggest frum families pay tuition for their kids if the wife is only allowed to work in Jewish institutions? There are not enough positions available for all frum women.
I have no idea on the halacha end.
I can tell, that today, many women wear shirts that aren’t tzanua with another shirt underneath. So they may be tzanua while wearing the clothing.
cantoresq, I read “It” by Stephen King at 9 years old. I think playing nintendo would have been a better use of my time.
Its super expensive china that supposedly has a double glass glaze of sorts on it, which make it like having real glass.
I am no posek and heard this second hand, so if you buy Rosenthal china, please consult your LOR.
I wasted way more time in my youth reading than I did on our Nintendo gaming system.
I wasn’t always reading good literature LOL. A lot of it was a waste.
No I did not. They did serve pumpkin pie but I didn’t eat it.
I did have Turkey on Shabbos though, but that’s the Jewish tradition of being cheap 🙂
AFAIK, the only china that needs toiveling nowadays is Rosenthal china.
(which we don’t own LOL)
Popa, that means you are automatically wrong.
Mod80, some poskim have said don’t celebrate. Some say muttar.
Its one thing to say “My Rav says don’t celebrate” and its another to day “Assur gamur for every situtation no matter who your Rav is.”
Anyway, I didn’t have any real Turkey this thanksgiving. Does that make me holy?
I heard a “vort” over my Tofurkey this year (my aunt made Tofurkey AND we had turkey ice cream).
Seudat Hodaah = Meal of Thanks
Tarnigol Hodu – Turkey
Hodu – India
Thanksgiving in American – Turkey to celebrate early survival with Indians!*
*Yes, I realize they are native Americans, not people from India. Go with the joke.
We have a 2008 Ford Fusion that we love (and paid 34% less than sticker price).
We recently donated our 1997 Ford Taurus (also a great car) because it needed too much work at the moment. We are looking to get a minivan. Probably the 2011 Honda Odyssey because you can fit 3 carseats in the middle row with latch. Otherwise we would buy a used minivan.
To those who say harmful, can you please explain why?
We have a Wii. We use it mainly for exercise and a little bit of gaming. We use it for maybe 2 hours a week? Of which 90% is exercise.
What harm am I missing?
Mod80, I’m fairly consistent. Unless you think I’m generally machmir?
OOC, would you buy frozen vegetables without a hechsher? I’m talking about vegetables that don’t require a hechsher. Not broccoli or anything like that.
We generally don’t buy fresh cut up fruits or vegetables either.
We use plastic bins and a label maker to neatly label the items.
LOL Popa.
Its just the shape 🙂
I usually work about 45 hours a week plus 2 hours commuting a day. I’ve been out sick for 2 weeks though so zero.
Frumlady, my Rav has told me its muttar. Not that there is a way around if I really need or want it…MUTTAR.
Why should I listen to the rantings of a woman on the internet?
Didn’t Rav Moshe have multiple teshuvos on Thanksgiving?
In honor of the coffeeroom fanatics, we aren’t having Turkey on Thursday. We are going to my vegetarian cousins so we are having Baskin Robbins Turkey ice cream cake instead. Turkey will be for Shabbos in heilige Lakewood. Because it was uber cheap 🙂
I assume this is a translation?
I didn’t realize the Chasam Sofer held that the only way to be frum is through ignorance.
We got my cousin a digital camera. It was a $150 camera that we bought for $30 (it was a cyber monday deal).
My family was involved in something that made us look guilty. After a few long years of hard fighting, we proved it was the corruption of others. Luckily, this was before the blogosphere.
I think the difference is that GAW is generally intellectually and halachically honest when he says “I learned that the halacha is XYZ, but I know its not as clear cut as that.”
GAW acknowledges that there are halachic viewpoints so it makes sense to actually listen to his “this is what I hold by” halachic standpoint.
When I donate to Kollel, I only do it directly to people that I know need the money and are sincere in their learning.
The question becomes: who’s education is more important? The father or the son? If you can’t afford to learn in Kollel AND send your kids to Yeshiva, what does halacha say?
I love that tape! I have fond memories of it from growing up.
It can’t be more annoying than Uncle Moishy right?
We don’t do Chanukah presents really.
This year, we are buying our kids the Incredible Dreidel of Feitel von Zeidel to enjoy CHanukah with.
I’m also making a menorah with my 2 year old and am going to let him light his own. He’s super excited.
My gift to my family is making yummy latkes. Those are a pain to make.
And LOL @ Popa.
OK I agree with that Aries.
Aries, I said sometimes because there are times where a parent can’t just sit back. Like if their kid decides to go on heavy drugs and stuff.
There is a time and place for helping mold your kids.
I would have no problem borrowing money before taking tzedaka. I would sell almost everything I have rather than take tzedaka.
However, if it were a small hump, it wouldn’t make sense to sell something irreplacable or for very little in order to avoid the tzedaka. If I had to take it, I would repay the money as soon as possible.
I’m conflicted.
Sometimes you have to accept your children for who they are, rather than who you want them to be.