SJSinNYC

I think spouses not having access to the family finances are a recipe for disaster. What happens if one spouse is ill or dies? Each spouse should always have access and know whats going with all the important information. That includes the woman knowing the financial picture and where all the documents are as well as the husband knowing all the important information about the kids.

People talk about divorce as if its a bad thing. In the past, many women had to stay in abusive marriages and had no ability to leave. They had to deal with drugs, violence, cheating spouses etc. Baruch Hashem women have the ability to support themselves should they need to!

Yiddishe Tam “By nature women are “motherly” My 3 year old runs to feed her baby doll it’s bottle while I’m feeding the baby. It’s a natural instinct.”

My son did this at 2 years old as well. Only he attempted to nurse the baby. Kids mimic what they see – that has nothing to do with gender.

DY, I know a number of Yeshivish people who were told by thier rabbonim that it is better not to attend a minyan w/o a black hat and daven at home, even if it means missing kaddish. This makes those of us who view a black hat as a fashion statement really scratch our head.

Anyway, I thought we were talking about the halacha of different sects, not the practices. Do you know any MO Rabbonim who allow mixed swimming for non medicinal purposes? I don’t! Unless you think Yeshivish rabbonim agree that the “hot chani” look falls within the bounds of Yeshivish halacha?

Hakatan,

I would need to see an actual source. I don’t consider a random quoted source in a some mishpacha article a source (especially because they aren’t exactly a quality peer reviewed paper).

However, he is not the only MO theologian/Rabbi, so I’m not sure the point stands.

As to why be MO if you can break halacha without being thrown out of your community? Well, that’s a pretty ridiculous statement. I know plenty of groups of Yeshivish women who gather weekly purely to speak lashon hara. My yeshivish cousin landed in jail for financial fraud and he was surrounded by many yeshivish people in prison. And Yeshivish society has plenty of trouble with women flaunting their version of halachic tznius.

MO has different standards within halacha. So no, I don’t think wearing a skirt 4″ past my knee or covering my collar bone or wearing sleeves past my elbow is necessary to be following halacha. More is not always better. Charedi rabbonim clearly agree or they wouldn’t have banned burqas in Israel. The question is where to draw the halachic line and we each turn to our own Rabbonim.

However, no one is going to throw you out of the community if you do something, especially if its a bein adam lamakom. Baruch hashem! No one is perfect. Everyone is a work in progress and there is no reason to throw the baby out with the bathwater.

My coworkers still marvel at the fact that I’ve never eaten a ruben. Or worked on Saturday during an emergency. Or countless of other things that fall within halacha.

But if you don’t need modernity, that’s fine. Good luck finding a doctor who practices talmudic anatomy!

Then why is MO thriving? Why is the MO population growing so much that new schools are constantly being added in major MO communities and other schools are increasing their capacity?

far east,

I used to post here far more often. I stopped, in part because of what you are talking about.

Also, because the posters here claiming to be Yeshivish are giving actually Yeshivish people IRL a bad name.

The problem with hilchos tznius is that every community defines things differently. My Rabbi holds that the collarbone is not an issue and can be shown. So a man who is sensitive to collarbones (especially if they’ve lived in communities where its always covered) may see my shirt as “suggestive” even if its not. Many people read into what they want to see or are used to.

KW example of high heeled shoes – my friend has strange arches and finds high heels way more comfortable than flats.

So while what KW writes is nice, its not all encompassing.

Minhag hamakom is not always easy to define – according to my Rabbi, Brooklyn (for example) has no minhag hamakom because of the diversity of the population.

So, in random conclusion, men should keep their eyes off women, women should stop judging other women and everyone should dress appropriately according to their shitta and weather.

Yenta,

Here is my perspective: There are many mitzvos that are forbidden to women, taboo or just “not done.” I prefer active mitzvos because I find they help me connect to the task at hand (specifically here, Chanuka, the history of it all, the miracles etc) and form a stronger bond with Hashem.

When I say the bracha to light, I feel connected to the Jewish chain of people who have done this for many generations. Why turn away the opportunity to do a mitzvah?

I always lit. I grew up in an all female household. We all lit. I always felt bad for my friends who were denied participating in this mitzvah.

I leave the house for work before 5 am. Sometimes, its cold then or its supposed to be cold for the day. Then I find out its actually a warm day.

Also, my office is pretty cold, even when its warm outside. So when I don’t wear steel toed shoes, I either wear sandals (April-October) or boots (October-April).

What a fun trip down (crazy) memory lane.

I drive to work before dawn, so its hard to see me. Totally tzanua.

I asked a rabbi and was told mutar. I was also told that belly piercing was assur unless I was married.

HAHAHA!!!!

Oh boy, I took a break from YWN and this is what I come back to?

I can now say – I would (and did) have a homebirth.

Easiest and most painless birth I’ve had.

when I signed up, I was living in Brooklyn.

are you talking about kosherkouponz? We use them and they are fantastic. Its a groupon type site geared towards kosher consumers.

The lectures in my shul are open to everyone.

I will be home sleeping. I’m due today and there is no way I can survive on no sleep.

Shlishi, the rate posted in that link is from 1982. I would trust a more recent study at this moment in time.

Health, not recommending routing circumcision is part of their statement. Although, I have learned not to really debate with you because you try to twist everything without making sense, so I’ll let the AAP statement stand.

Again, this doesn’t really have anything to do with religion. There are many people in the US who circumcise their children who are not religious at all. Many people are anti-circumcision because they don’t believe in removing body parts just because. The data doesn’t really warrant it.

The people I know aren’t for legislating against it, but rather getting information out there.

DY, there are many areas of the health related fields that are hard to pinpoint exact causes, but there are trends to see. There are plenty of children who die directly or indirectly due to their circumcision. That doesn’t include the botch jobs that cause other issues.

Health,

I’m not sure what AAP statement you read, but the abstract starts off with:

Existing scientific evidence demonstrates potential medical benefits of newborn male circumcision; however, these data are not sufficient to recommend routine neonatal circumcision.

While I would agree that a mohel is usually a safer choice than a doctor for circumcision, its ridiculous to say that no babies have died from a mohel. A few years ago, there were a few babies who died (that I remember).

I’m not advocating for passing this law. But its important to realize that many of the anti-circ supporters have a valid argument on their side. Obviously Jews aren’t going to stop circumcising no matter what.

You’re right, I misquoted the number. Here is the abstract on the latest study:

Baby boys can and do succumb as a result of having their foreskin removed. Circumcision-related mortality rates are not known with certainty; this study estimates the scale of this problem. This study finds that approximately 117 neonatal circumcision-related deaths (9.01/100,000) occur annually in the United States, about 1.3% of male neonatal deaths from all causes. Because infant circumcision is elective, all of these deaths are avoidable. This study also identifies reasons why accurate data on these deaths are not available, some of the obstacles to preventing these deaths, and some solutions to overcome them.

So tell me, do you think 117 babies should die each year for an elective procedure? I’m not talking about frum Jewish kids – I’m talking about those who weren’t commanded to circumcise.

And my Rabbis is against metzizah b’peh without a pipette. It is not 100% safe. Even those who do metzizah b’peh should realize that.

Recent studies have indicated that circumcision rates in the US are dropping fast. I think its now around 50% of babies are circ’ed.

Second, there are a few hundred babies who die each year due to complications with circumcisions. You think that’s minor?

And the benefits to routine circumcision are extremely small, the AAP has put out a statement for over ten years now that routine circumcision isn’t recommended.

Don’t pretend like this is all anti-semitism. I have (non-Jewish) friends who are really anti-circ’ing boys but don’t want to legislate it.

Now, I don’t support this legislation at all. But I do want to remind those of you who support vandalism from frum people that you can’t selectively ask for laws to apply to you.

GAW, if its something unintentional (like your undershirt sticking out), I would first try to ask a woman to mention it. However, that’s “dangerous” also. But I would appreciate it.

If it were something like “Your skirt is too short” then I wouldn’t appreciate it.

I was super machmir and never had a hotel lounge date 🙂

In all seriousness, I don’t see the big deal in having 1 beer (SA aside, I’m not debating that right now but I think there is more to it than just the basic SA in terms of practical halacha as applied to today’s hotels lounges).

Aries,

I would rather get my GED than be blackmailed by my high school.

I think schools nowadays are trying to totally overreach their bounds. They have gone crazy. I wouldn’t succumb to blackmail (which is what this kind of behavior is IMO).

Sure, a high school diploma is better, but not always necessary.

I don’t say this lightly. Don’t misunderstand me. But I do think it takes some brave kids to stand up to schools and say “Do what you want, but you can’t take me.”

I don’t know if Monsey still has courtesy busing for private school students, but in these tough times many districts are cutting that out. That would affect most people in Monsey more than a small tax increase. Busing is expensive!

Really, is this surprising to anyone?

The bigger question is, does he need his diploma? If I were him, I would walk away and say “I know I’m fine. Let them throw their “tantrum” and I’ll live my life morally.”