Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
My dear Chayavinishlivisumay
It sounds like to you Purim is THE day
Drinking wine, whiskey or liquor
Until absolutely shikker
Its a chiyuv, its a mitzva, you say.
But remember when you drink your l’chaim
To behave as Yaakov asked Menashe and Efraim
So go have a great time
But remember this rhyme
And your deeds should be sincerely l’shem shamayim!
A warm welcome to ticheled pink
You wrote a gr8 limerick i think
Some people are too shy
I cannot understand why
Treating limericks like a slippery ice rink
You need just to utilise your kop
To come up with stuff that is top
Simply think for a while
Then start writing with guile
This will yield limericks that will not flop
So come and write something specific
And become another limericker prolific
Just be a bit shrewd
And you’ll be a cool dude
Posting in lines that are just terrific
Prince Charming: Joseph is still alive?
Od Joseph chai, v’chi hu moshel b’chol eretz Yeshiva World!!! 😉
Truth is, despite my light hearted comments in the Screen Names thread, Joseph’s multiple screennames dont bother me. I do not especially try to build up a picture in my mind of posters and I take each post at face value cos I dont know the identity of posters anyway. If you do have a mental pic of posters then you will disagree.
Oomis and others mentioned in my list… dont worry I just copied and pasted a whole bunch of posters on this thread at random for that list just to make that light hearted comment. Nothing personal. 🙂
Did you go to the concert of Hasc
I couldnt so I want to ask
Did it compare
With a previous year
Did Lippa behave or make a trask
Were the majority of songs fast or slow
Were they new or from a long time ago
Did they have a cantor
Or maybe an enchantor
Or was there a different style of show
Is your best singer Shwekey
Or do you prefer YBC
its a matter of opinion
But for me there’s no dimyan
The king has to be MBD
“well since i gave both blinky and minyan gal the subtitles….
blinquie is just simple and elegant”
Mod 80: To give only 2 posters and not anyone else? Thats just pure favoritism thats all.
And by the way, you still havent answered which clock in your home do you bring in Shabbos on, re the setting clocks fast thread…
Ruph Ruph – I’m amused by your above post to Dave. YOU being Joseph, and I being Shticky Guy are the only 2 (besides the mods) who know for sure that Shticky Guy is not Joseph, but lets keep that as a secret between us should we. Keep everyone else guessing.
People have asked me some pretty insane questions
Such as? Lets hear some. Give us an insight or a laugh
Its lovely to have a male only thread here. In fact any that are nothing to do with diets or shidduchim make a change!
My brother’s kallah said she wanted to get him a tie for his birthday that would match the color of his eyes.
Does anyone know where I can buy a bloodshot tie?
I think WIY, TMB, oomis1105, Health, Yochie, estherhamalka, eclipse, DEFINITELY RuphRuph, Sender Av, aries2756, Cedarhurst, eclipse, blueprints, mikehall, squeak, smartcookie, ICOT, Dave Hirsch, Aishes Chayil, Smile E. Face, popa_bar_abba, real-brisker, Sacrilege and many, many others ARE ALL JOSEPH ANYWAY!
They’re are all one in the same!
Mod 80 Why do you think blinquie is the best screenname subtitle? Isnt minyan gal’s limericist extraordinaire far better? (though it should be EX limericist cos she’s not been around for a while) 🙁
Also ruff ruff’s joseph again is hilarious!
Have you seen the new sequel to Mary Poppins? Its about a top brainy historic hermit who was a poet who walked barefoot so he had many callouses on his feet. He was also frail from not eating properly and his odd diet gave him bad breath.
The film is called:
The Super Calloused Fragile Mystic Hexed By Halitosis.
All 3 posters above by expressing their sarcasm are showing that they have obviously grasped the humor intended by the OP. I mean, his name just gives it away! Gabboim. He’s obviously the gabbai in a shul someplace. Are you telling me a gabbai has people on an ignore list?? No way!! Its definitely satire! 😉
Thank you both for your kind words
They were among the nicest I’ve heard
But dont you even dare
To just leave it there
Pls send in again and seconds and thirds!
Although I dont find someone else davening loud disturbing, if you do then you for sure have mah d’soni lach, l’chavrecha lo sa’vid. I think i can imagine someone davening loud and behind everyone else would be annoying, esp if cos of him you cant hear the chazzan.
Whats even more annoying is when ppl’s fones ring or receive texts in shul… GRRR!!!
In the unfortunate absence of Minyan Gal, (where are you?), Minyan Guy will have to step in so here goes:
In the sedras of ???? and ????
The jews had a ????? ?????
??? went to the nile
And ???? he did rile
When he asked to be let out ?????
In this weeks sedra called Bo
He again asked “Let my people go”
Cos if you dont then takker
You’ll receive another makka
But the stubbon king just said “NO!”
So H’ sent in swarms of locust
that covered th ground like dust
They came with a gale
Eating what remained from the hail
???? said Please remove them, you must
So ??? davenned and they went
and ???? he tried to repent
But he could play no more part
cos H’ hardened his heart
So to free the Jews he could not consent
Next came darkness – no sun’s rays
And beleive me it was more than a haze
The dark they could feel
It was such a big deal
That no Mitzri could move for 3 days
FInally ??? did warn
Of the killing of every 1st born
Bloody doorposts showed whose
Were the homes of the Jews
Every Mitzri, even ????, did mourn
???? ran out in his night dress
But couldnt find ???’s address
SO the kids they did play
Sending ???? astray
They had fun with his Royal Highness
Suddenely ??? he found
But when he said GO NOW, ??? frowned
They went only next morning
???? chased without warning
And into the Yam Suf they drowned
The lesson from all this is clear
At my limerick dont sneer but cheer
Writing this is gr8 fun
SO come on everyone
But please dont put it off till next year!
Re. New question – What is the best shprach/zug you’ve ever heard? In Yiddish, English or Hebrew
A guy in yeshiva had a sign on his bed saying “This bed has been officially named ‘Lernen’.
Then whenever his parents called during Seder when he was sleeping and they asked him how he was doing, he would answer “I’m ligging in Lernen”!!!
Best excuse for not showing up to work:
“I TOLD my wife the chicken looked undercooked last night…”
OP “…We must BAND TOGETHER”
A rather unfortunate choice of language when there’s a whole thread on the stomach gastric band…
Anyways, let me tell you a story. A friend of mine AND HIS WIFE decided they both needed to diet. They were very good for a while, being careful whatever they ate, so on the next Rosh Chodesh his wife said why dont we go to a grocery store and get ourselves a small something as a treat. So off they went and the wife picked out something new. The husband said “oh no, thats not very tasty. Try something else”. So she chose a different nosh and the husband said “oh I dont think thats good either”. “Wait a minute” said his wife suddenely, “how do you know these are not good???”
Yes you guessed it – the husband on his way to and from kollel had been sneaking in and buying things…
SO YOU CANT BLAME THE WOMEN FOR EVERYTHING!!!
The recent Dudu Fisher spiel was so refreshing. I’d love something a bit non-musical in the middle of the concert. Maybe Jackie Mason???
words that get shouted:
TIMBER…
Goodbye, notzri doesnt just mean from nazareth as you posted. Acc to one p’shat it comes from the word ‘notzar’, or created. This is to disprove the catholics who say he is a son of g-d and not from human birth, so the word notzar was added to his name to say he WAS created ie from human birth. Its a fascinating and very large topic. Its also amazing that the majority of todays world population hold of either mamzer yeshu, or the person that the rambam calls ‘hameshuga’ ie mohammed. This is to put the concept of moshiach into the world cos both these 2 are believed by their followers to be a messiah!
Yippee for the weather forecast
Dont look at me so aghast
I wont bat an eyelid
If you call me a kid
But I tell you I’m having a blast
From my yard’s edge to hedge
I’m gonna make you a pledge
I will have the best fun
As I try to outrun
All my neighbours on my daughters sledge
For all of you who have a fear
Dont worry I know how to steer
I will be in a trance
Cos this is the last chance
Of me playing with some snow this year
As a side question- anyone know where D a disappeared to?
Why – is that your other username?
It is a matter of great pride
That to all limerickers I confide
I have found a good place
In the thread thats most ace
I no longer just look from outside
The posters in this Limerick race
Show a really advanced knowledge base
So I’m happy it to promote
Though the last ones I wrote
Were just after my school relay race!
Its now like a proper affliction
And I hope this wont cause family friction
Cos I cant get enough
Like tobacco or snuff
I’ve developed a real addiction
I have stopped all my work philanthropic
And started to seach microscopic
For limericks that click
Like a conjuring trick
Keeping this the top discussion topic!
I do exaggerate just a bit
Cos it doesnt take long to submit
A few short words of verse
In which I can disperse
A few lines of rhyme complete with wit!
*Phew!*
I think on this new limerick thread
there’s already too much been said
i’m gonna stick to the old
which is better than gold
cos 2 threads is too much for my head!
Those computer ones were great. Here’s a fantastic math one. Get out your calculators and try it!
A dozen, a gross and a score,
Plus three times the square root of four,
Divided by seven,
Plus five times eleven,
Equals nine square plus zero, no more!
Wolf: The main difference between Torah and lehavdil other studies is that Torah is NOT simply accumilating knowledge like all other topics. But if you say that your primary motivation for learning anything is to know it then you’ve missed the crux of the difference!!! Your job isnt to know it but to spend as much time as poss doing ratzon haborei
Amal hatorah, horvanya, adam ki yamus b’ohel etc etc. As some posts above say, en HKBH moneh hadafim elah hashaos. The ground we cover is completely irrelevant. All H’shem counts is the time put in to learning. Anu amelim umkablim sechar… We get sechar only for the amal. How many countless stories are there of gedolim fasting and crying for several days at the kever of a tzadik to help understand a small piece of gemara or a tosfos etc. Therefore yes it is better if one can horova over a piece of gemara rather than to ‘sit with ones feet up’ as it were, and read off the translation, in any language! I challenge anyone to find any rav who disagrees with this. This is the IDEAL method. Of course there IS a place for translations, where necessary. But the less the better!
Great stories. For other stories of hashgacha pratis you can also visit the hashgacha pratis thread
Mod 80 ‘wrong thread’ ??? Why, dont say you’re starting an ‘amazing divorce stories’ thread? (I suppose k’sheim shemevorchim al hatov kach mevorchim al ho’ra… And i know guys who moved onto zivug sheini and it turned out to be the best that could have happened to them).
Amazing shiduch story: I know of a girl who travelled somewhere off the beaten track and couldnt find her destination. She came across a house with a mezuza so she knocked on. The woman who answered helped her tons and offered her grandson to help with her bags and to take her to her destination. She got talking to him on the short journey… After she got back home she got a phone call from the woman to say her grandson really liked her… etc etc… And although on paper they are utterly different and from completely different backgrounds, they got married! Had she not knocked on that door…
Phillybubby, oomis1105: Everything is relative. I wouldnt want my grandchild saying bubby love you cos I’m a fellow. The sound of planes rumbling past my house is usually very annoying but after the icelandic volcano saga it was very refreshing to hear. And sometimes noisy kids are annoying, but if they’re your grandchildren I’m sure its music to your ears; esp as they’re probably going to their own home soon… 🙂
Full of rage: this is supposed to be a YESHIVA site for FRUM ppl. Of course poskim should be consulted before any major decisions in life, especially ones involving anaesthetic or other potentially dangerous or serious outcomes. Chassidim are noheg to ask aitzeh before even minor or seemingly trivial matters. Making our own decisions can lead to big shailos where we involve ourselves in situations where we are not even aware that there could be halachic ramifications due to our lack of knowledge.
I am a representative from Wikileaks and can tell you that a lot of the posters above have not disclosed correct information about where they post from. We are in the process of compiling a list of where everyone really posts from and will be releasing this information in our usual way aswell as writing to their bosses. Ps i began this post from a uk jail and will finish it either in sweden, australia or g’tanamo bay…
I’m not at all embarrassed. That’s why I always use only my real name.
No I dont.
AMUSING ANECDOTE: When I had my house decorated the guy asked what to do about the TV sockets in the wall. I said he should remove them. When we came back, he said “I took out the ones downstairs, but left the one in the main bedroom – thats what a lot of guys in the Jewish area ask me to do”!!!
If you see a guy holding a car door open for his wife, you can be sure of one of two things; either the wife is new, or the car is… 🙂
Blueprints <OP>
Thanks for all the News/Nu’s
And here follows the weather forcast…
If new posts you always seek,
Then you cant not post in for a week,
So lets rack our brains,
Before this thread wanes,
Come on ‘Limerickers’, dont be so meek!
What’s a virtual band? Google it. As I said, it’s a relatively new procedure involving only hypnosis where your body is made to believe that a gastric band has been fitted, even though you yourself know that it hasn’t. It has produced amazing results, just like the real thing!
Calling Mod 80!!
Shtika k’hoda’a? Your silence and lack of response on this thread this past 2 days is deafening! Are you:
1. Considering your reply? Or
2. Attending Yiddish lessons so you can mod on the yiddish thread? In which case ich vart far deiner haguos oif mein letzter post vus ich hob arayn geshikt!
An English friend of mine has had a ‘virtual’ band fitted a few months ago under hypnosis in the UK and he has lost tons of weight! He said it seems to be risk free and is as good as a real band and he highly recommends it
This thread had my favorite rating,
For new posts I was always waiting,
But where are you all now,
If you’ve given up, HOW?
Or are you all just hibernating!!! 🙁
Member of YWN since March 15, 2007 so coming up to 4 yrs. Member of coffeeroom only in past year
I dont remember seeing in the OP that WIY is actually leaving. I know WIY cant survive without ywn cr! He/she’ll continue reading and posting, just with a brand new username like… Er… Well Informed Yid???
Mod 80:
I always used to wonder why I see your name so often while other mods hardly seem to appear! Now I know why.
You wrote re. putting clocks fast: “I do it also. 10 min fast in the kitchen, 15 min fast in the bedroom, exact in the den”.
So you cant REALLY have any idea what the real time is!! Therefore you think this is the time to be on duty at YWN when really other mods are supposed to be on now!
And please let me guess what times other clocks in your house may be set to…
KIDS BEDROOM: 20 mins late so they will be on time for the school bus.
ENTRANCE HALL: ten mins early, so that when guests arrive, you still have enough time to prepare for them.
EN SUITE GUEST BEDROOM (where your in laws stay): 2 days late, so that you can get rid of them nice and early.
BATHROOM: 30 mins late to discourage long term occupancy.
BASEMENT: thirty mins early, no obvious reason.
STUDY: You have 3 clocks; one facing your chavrusa set at half an hour late to explain why you’ve nodded off during learning in the evening. The other two are facing you – one is set to kitchen time (ten mins fast) while the other is set to the entrance hall time (ten mins early), so that between the 2 clocks you can work out what REAL time actually is… 🙂
I was refering to ??????. (And ???????)
To YEEDLE FROM LONODN:
Welcome to you. I dont recall seeing your name before. How you doing, old chap? How far from london is lonodn? I assume its a typo. To change it, when you log in the coffee room at the top of the page click on your name where it says welcome. Have a jolly good day!
Its definitely havois. When theres a nekuda next to the vov with a dagesh in, then its pronounced as a vov. It has a dagesh in the vov because its after a hey with a patach under it.
Blueprints – if a vov with a dagesh is always voo then how do you read what we read as Shivisi which has a dagesh in the vov? Or yivoshu? Etc etc
Sorry to hear about your job. I hope you have found something meantime! (Having a job is also a brocho!).
In reply to your question, although i dont believe this is the correct place for halacha debates but should be face to face with your Rav, I’ll tell you what my Rav told us, that there’s only a shiur for bracha achrona. For bracha rishona its as long as you havent been meisiach da’as however long has elapsed. Eg on Seder night, we make ha’adama on the karpas and have in mind that it should also go on the maror… which we will only be eating a long long time later!