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GOOD LUCK and please let us know if there’s some good news!!! May Hashem give you many many brachos!!!!
!!!???
“…because Hashem seems be to “shmini atzeres”ing my computer…”
PS Eclipse I just loved that line!!!
I’m a highly disciplined user. I make sure to come back every hour to check for updates and new threads
This guy in Israel orders chicken at a restaurant. When the waiter brings it, there’s a very bad smell accompanying it. ‘Take it back!’ he said. ‘Why?’ asked the waiter. ‘Cos this is either ‘fowl’ or its ????’??’, he replied!
1. My young daughter asked why on pesach do we only have a seder night and dont also have a bubba night.
2. When my son was very small, he asked why are the middle days of pesach called ‘challa moed’ when surely they should be called ‘matza moed’.
Goq ROTF!!! Very very funny! Best post since zaidy’s on mayo thread. (that if not for mayo there would be an over population of tuna in the ocean!)
This one’s about pesach but could also be on the cute things kids said thread (maybe I’ll post it on both):
1. My young daughter asked why on pesach do we only have a seder night and dont also have a bubba night.
2. When my son was small, he asked why are the middle days of pesach called ‘challa moed’ when surely they should be called ‘matza moed’.
boys go to yeshiva, girls go to sem
Thanx to mbachur, the bachur who isnt, for clearing up that stage of life. (There’s some random praise for you…)
The next stage of course is that men go to kollel and women go to work.
wellmeaning busybody:
??? without ?????? looked wrong so I put in a ??? ?’ ????? to make it ????. But thanx for your ???? ????? anyways.
I would like to publicly thank Goq very much from the bottom of my heart. It was really nice of you, Goq. You’re amazing!! Not everyone would have done it. But you did. So I thank you.
Cant tell you what for, though. Cos then you wouldnt be the man of mystery that you are now, would you…
Why can’t everyone else who have (has??) nothing to say, do it here?
Posted 15 hours ago
I did. For the last 15 hours continuously. Without a break. For anything. I’m exhausted now. But feeling really really clever! Did you hear it? My silence must have been deafening. Its the ???? ?????
3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
6. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
9. I went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a mussel.
10. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
11. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eyed deer.
12. What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no eyed deer.
?? ??? ?? ???? ?????
A friend was looking for an apartment in Israel. He couldnt speak the language well and was trying to tell the agent that the most important things he needed and would not compromise on was decent air conditioning and a good shower. But he couldnt say it in Ivrit no matter how long he tried and motioned with his hands etc. The agent just looked at him blankly. In desperation, he shouted out ??? ???? …???? ???? ?????? ????
I still have the cassettes of that Hasc concert. Its Hasc 4 and it still makes for some gr8 listening (its one of my parents favorite concerts). Its a triple cassette with the 2nd cassette entirely for the London School of Jewish Song besides the last 5 mins. Its available at music sites like mostly music and I only recently bought the dvds of Hasc 4 for my parents from there.
They sing the entire ki yikorei song and also most their other gr8 hits like ko amar, ashira lahashem bachayay, vchi yadav shel moshe, hamalach, hamavdill and all the others too.
Those living in Seatle have a shower more often than the rest of us…
This is done with kavanah also. You cant get drunk without picking up alcohol while sober and deciding to drink more than you can usually handle. Unless you’re following the maxim that chayav lives by: “avoid hangovers; stay drunk”!
Hey chayav, you’ve been kinda quiet recently. I would have thought that this is your time of year and we’d be seeing much more of you than usual now that its Adar. Hmmm. There was this thread recently called chayav=eclipse, wasnt there. Hmmm! (well, there’s nothing like stirring things up is there?)
Homom my good friend thanx for coming to the party. Come and sit next to me. Actually on second thoughts, go and sit over there! Phew!!!
1981 & 2005 – Two Interesting Years
Interesting Year 1981
1. Prince Charles of England got married.
2. Liverpool were crowned soccer Champions of Europe .
3. Australia lost the Ashes.
4. The Pope died.
Interesting Year 2005
1. Prince Charles of England got married.
2. Liverpool were crowned soccer Champions of Europe .
3. Australia lost the Ashes.
4. The Pope died.
Lesson to be learned:
The next time Prince Charles gets married, someone should warn the Pope!!!
There was a sign on the lawn at a drug re-hab center that said ‘Keep off the Grass’.
…??? ????? ???? ??????, ????? ??????? ??? ????? ??????…
Zeeskite Who is your namesake?
Feif un thanx for your reply and answer. The answer to your question must be that homon was using koach hatuma and astrology etc so help him in many calculations to work out what to do. He also made many many cheshbonos to take every detail into account eg the amount of shekalim needed etc etc. So the fact that they took into account an event like chanuka that had yet to take place is not such a wonder by me. Its more of a wonder that he didnt realise that his plan was doomed.
UM: WOW thanx for the amazing answer! I know someone would answer my question.
So lets now see if anyone can answer the question that my 8 year old daughter asked me today. What point was there in homon going thru the months of the year to try and find one without zechusim for klal yisroel? He had already been thru all the days of the week and couldnt find a suitable day. So even if he would find a month without zechusim, he wouldnt be able to find a day in that month on which to do it!??
I smiled at the posts above although really i should have cried. Cos like nobody would ch”v post in here on shabbos and end off with nisht af shabbos geposted, they also shouldnt discuss things which are assur to talk about and finish off paradoxically with the phrase nisht af shabbos geredt!
So why do people do this?
Well, I have a theory that because hachayim v’hamaves beyad halashon, there’s a much larger yetzer hora to do aveiros thru speech. We therefore do aveiros via speech that we would never do thru action or deeds because we dont have the yetzer hora to do so. But this does not excuse it!
Similarly, from the mechaber we see that it’s worse to talk in chazaras hashatz than to kill someone r”l. But by walking into most shuls, this will unfortunately not be too obvious.
I give up! It could be absolutely anybody!
UM: Rebbe Alter and Pirchei Purim is a collection of regular purim songs for kids to sing along.
Now of the 98 posts in this thread, can NOBODY, after listening a million times to the cds or cassettes, answer my question on the lots?
By the way this is post #99 on this thread. Who will be poster #100!??
As usual this is something to discuss with your rov. But if you get paid and its for parnassah, or if its to cheer up sick ppl, or a tool to be mekarev ppl like last weeks mishpacha magazine had with the travelling musicians, then you have good grounds. There’s a famous gemara where eliyahu hanavi said that the only 2 ppl in the entire marketplace who would go directly to gan eden were the 2 letzonim who went around cheering ppl up from their bad matzav. There’s nothing at all wrong with a shticky guy!
Maybe your mommy only calls you zeeskite cos she forgot your real name… ?
Anyone else care to share the reason behind the name you chose?
Ps OP Will Hill aka J: You’ve been rather quiet recently if you’ve been sticking to the rules and only posting under one name
Blinquie hi, long time no appear,
Its been a long time since I saw you here,
What is your reason?
A busy season?
Then we wont see you till early next year!
What about my shver shayloh? You’re usually good at these things. Did you blink and miss it??
MiA thats my son’s best part. We’re just the wrong generation! (Its only short and its not too bad imo). We dont fully understand the salomi baloni part. Is it just funny sounding?
Now that i’ve done shnayim mikra v’echad targum on most of the story, i’ve a problem that i’m sure some maiven can answer:
During the using of the lots when homon goes thru the days (daze of the weak!!) and months, for marcheshvan the bas kol says soro imaynu maysoh. So why wasnt that a perfect month to choose? Instead he chose adar when moshe died? Whats the difference?
Mod: Thanx a lot for changing my original subtitle, but I now see that you’ve given someone else the same name so please change mine to my 2nd choice of Limericist Extraordinaire II
Thank you!
Wow! I had my heart in my mouth for a sec when I saw this thread posted. It sounded like you’re doing an eclipse and packing us in!! Phew! Although you’ve only (er… allegedly!) been with us for a few weeks, I’ve grown to admire your style and humor!
Yes everyone must Rest In Peace over Shabbos and have the maturity to know when they have the time and when they do not. If you find the CR is interfering with the special kedushas Shabbos touch then YES YOU MUST STAY AWAY EARLIER!!! (Cos Mommy said so!!!!)
Anyways this shouldnt be a problem for a ‘Down to Earth’ person like you… :~}
…some posters might come to it and throw rotten tomatoes at me!!!…
or watermelons!!! 🙂 🙂 🙂
You must and will feel attracted to your wife iyh. But remember how she looks on a date will be different to how she looks at 4am in a snood while changing a diaper! So yes while looks and chitzoniyos are also important, remember al tistakel b’kankan ELAH B’MAH SHEYESH BAH!
…My increased absence should be in your zechus…
Oh no! I hope i’m not guilty of chasing ANYBODY away from YWN! I was only trying to be shticky! I retract what I said. To be mekayem syag lchochma shsika, dont stay away, just post quietly!!
Believe me, when you’re bored at a meeting with nothing to do, if its not possible to browse divrei torah sites or tefillos or tehillim etc then its far, far better to visit here at a frum, moderated site than to stam browse the net.
Sure I know chayav’s ID. And I’ll tell you something else also. I dont remember the last time he (or is it she?) had a cold!
Anyway syag, why are you posting so much? Dont you know what the syag lchochma is?
Do you know of a medicine that helps?
Have you tried anything at all? I know stuff that works really well for colds etc. Its available in many flavours. I’ll list them alphabetically for your convenience. Try them in this order:
Aberlour, Balvenie, Cragganmore, Dalwhinnie, Edradour, Fettercairn, Glenfiddich, Highland Park, Isle of Jura, Kilchoman, Laphroaig, Macallan, North Port, Port Askaig, Royal Lochnagar, Speyburn, Tormore, Vat 69, William Grant.
IF THESE DONT WORK AFTER TAKING TWICE A DAY (BEFORE OR AFTER FOOD), PLEASE CALL 1-800 CHAYAVINISH
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time,
which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him ….. (Oh, man, this is so bad, it’s good)…..
A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
There is a midrash somewhere (cant think offhand where) that says that flowers were created specifically to adorn Jews’ shabbos tables
Cant believe my eyes! Hello and shalom alecha! How you doin’? Dont know if to say welcome back or not cos it doesnt sound as if you are back.
And can you believe it! The 1st time she’s back on she’s already opening threads… :o)
By the way, what does anything on earth have to do with an eclipse?? :o)
I’m not sure what you intend to do after your advertised event (?) is over next week… Will you then be appearing here more often or getting rid of your computer completely?
Nice to hear from you again anyway. Hatzlocha!
The question is asked for the difference between the pirsuma nissa of chanuka which requires us to light menorah at our doors or windows, and pirsuma nissa of purim where we lein megilla but from inside a shul/house out of view of the street.
The answer could be as mentioned earlier, that the main ness of purim was that when mordechai instructed esther not to reveal her religion or background, she listened and told no one!! To commemorate this, we keep the secret also and read the megilla not out by the street but from within the privacy and seclusion of our shul or home.
Shhhhhhhhhh!!!!!
Zeeskite: its cos you post smart and incisive comments and threads. You must have a sharp brain!
Onegoal: please share with us the story behind your subtitle. Thanx.