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After 12 years of therapy, my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said “No hables Ingles”.
oy vey kids these days: sorry for guessing your gender incorrectly. I was not sure but I figured (a) its more of a feminine name that you have chosen, and (b) I KNEW that while a woman will not mind to be suspected of being a man, no man can remain silent if accused of being a woman. So I twice made reference to you being of the Bina Yeseira gender, and I stood back and waited to see what would happen.
Thank you for proving my point!!
I really dont mean to be picky
And I know limerick writing is tricky
But come on you posters
I’m not one of the boasters
Dont leave them to just Min Gal, Ursula and Shticky
Bar Shattya dont fall for oy vey’s posts she’s winding you up. Cant you tell… She got so drunk over purim that it took her 4 months to respond to you! ☺ ☺ ☺
Anyways, with initials like the ones you have, dont let anyone accuse you of speaking baloney…
Did you hear about the astronaut who stepped onto a piece of gum on the moon? He got stuck in Orbit.
BPG LOL!
This guy was a fantastic composer of music. His songs were great. But if was terribly absent minded. Once his wife sent him out to the food store but he was back two minutes later. He said to his wife “Please dont fly off the Handel at me but I cant find where you are Haydn the Chopin Lyszt”
This bothers me to no end also. Its bad enough when it happens in a frum neighbourhood. But out in a place where this stuff is never seen then we come and ‘invade’ and behave as if we own the place… I cant take it. Happens unfortunately in too many places all over the world. Then those who wont give out apartments to jews are accused of being anti semitic!
Wake up guys!
My brain doesnt know from the 3 weeks
stop baiting haifagirl…
I took out my violin…
remember there’s 8 notes in an octave, not 7 ☺
Coming back on topic, my kids banged on the NYBC cd as soon as they realised it was chatzos
I would love to come and would venture to suggest that everyone should wear a name tag with their coffeeroom name on. I hope some ex posters come too!
BTW I’m glad the mods have a secure facility… I’m a little worried about some of them… ☺
Yoreh Yadin smicha a year ago
Hey so its really Rabbi Poppa. Wow, I never knew. I must stand every time you enter a discussion. I just love my Rabbi to be a little over the top (and sometimes way over…)
bortezomib wow what a name! What does it mean?
nishtdayngesheft: Better reception
LOL!!! ? <Like!>
To find something rhyming with russia
IS hard, gal, so I would not go crush her
But to complete the ‘lim’
Just find a synonym
Then your poetry would be much plusher
Had you instead written ‘Soviet’
(The ones who play russian roulette)
You would easier have found
A word with matching sound
While enjoying their great string quartet
They’re a nation with problems beset
But nothing like our national debt
Should they want to impress
It wont be with their dress
Rather with their champions at the chess set
So do not break out in a sweat
When encountering a russian cadet
Try to sweet talk
Not trying to balk
At a soldier with a vodka and cigarette
There are many, many more words yet
That I can rhyme with Soviet
But pray MG tell us
Would that make you jealous
Could you do better? You bet!
Well Informed what an amazing chizuk! There’s nothing in the OP that is not absolutely obvious but how I needed that slap in the face to sit up and think! Thank you.
I think I should start a new website for myself eg learnformyownneshama.com where I should choose many things to learn for my own neshama. I hope to finish them by ?? ??? ??? ???? ????? as the mishna says in ???? ????.
==
(thanx 95)
A wily fox deep in the jungle suddenely noticed a lion about to pounce on him. ‘I’ve had it now’ he thought. Quick as a flash he picked up some old bones lying on the floor and while chewing on them said aloud ‘That was a tasty lion. I wonder where I can find another one because I’m still a little hungry’. When the lion heard that he froze and then ran away trembling. That fox must be a mighty strong fox he thought.
High up in a tree, a monkey saw what had taken place and raced after the lion to tell him, figuring that the lion would then owe him a favor. But the fox saw him and realised what the monkey was doing. Knowing that he could not outrun a lion, he stayed still.
Before long, sure enough, he saw the lion come racing back thru the jungle with the monkey riding on his back. The fox simply turned his back and waited until the lion was really close. Then he called out in an annoyed voice…
… ‘WHERE’S THAT DARN MONKEY? I SENT HIM AGES AGO TO BRING ME ANOTHER LION’…
Ursula you have a great style
Though we didnt hear from you for a while
But when you do post
You’re more talented than most
And are often ahead by a mile
Without dear Opening Poster Blinq
Our numbers here they will shrink
Without a computer
It just does not suit ‘er
The limerickers will be out of sync
We still have good old minyan gal
Who’s our most reliable pen pal
She always supplies
Its not a suprise
She’s a great boost to our morale
A certain other poster will clamor
To highlight our errors in grammar
While showing my kishroinos
If she gives me bizyoinos
I may then be tempted to slam ‘er
As for the one called Joseph
I think now enough is enough
His guile is well known
But we will him disown
There’s no limit how much he can bluff
Subject: The Irish
======== =================================
The Irish have solved their own fuel problems.
They imported 50 million tonnes of sand from the Arabs and they’re going to drill for their own oil.
======== =================================
The police came to my front door last night holding a picture of my mother in law.
They said, “Is this your mother in law, sir?”
Shocked, I answered, ” Yes.”
They said, “I’m afraid it looks like she’s been hit by a bus.”
I said, “I know, but she has a lovely personality.”
================================== =============
Two Irishmen find a mirror in the road.
The first one picks it up & says, “Blow me I know this face but I cant put a name to it.”
The second picks it up & says, “You daft idiot it’s me!”
==================================================================
Paddy’s in jail. The Guard looks in his cell and see’s him hanging by his feet.
“What are you doing?” he asks.
“Hanging myself,” Paddy replies.
“It should be round your neck,” says the guard.
“I tried that,” says Paddy, “but I couldn’t breathe.”
===================================================
Two lrishmen are hammering floorboards down in a house.
Paddy picks up a nail, looks at it, then throws it away.
He carries on doing this until Murphy says, “Why are you throwing them away?”
“Because they’re upside down,” says Paddy.
“You daft idiot,” replies Murphy, “save them for the ceiling!!”
====================================================
Man sitting at home on the veranda with his wife and he says, “I love you.”
She asks, “Is that you or the beer talking?”
He replies, “It’s me… talking to the beer.”
This is a olam hafuch, leading to an am k’shei oref… ☺
Yes this is real cool. I cant wait to see how this post ‘turns out’ upside down and back to front.
Oh no! My post flipped twice so its back to normal. What a flipping shame and waste of time. What a drei kup! ???? ??????
I’m sure that this is how zeeskite would have written this post. Remember her?
NEW AREA OF LEARNING: To say Perek Shira (takes about 15 mins).
So there really is something for everyone’s level on this pioneering phenomenal site. Were you moved by the Leiby story? Do something everlasting for his neshama. Whether you have only a one-off 3 minute slot or you have a few minutes once a week/day or you have plenty time every day, you can find something to say or learn L’ilui Nishmaso.
What greater thing can we do as ahavas chinom, especially now in the 3 weeks, than to learn for someone most of us didnt know.
Its very interesting to be told how many pages there are here since this site opened just over 5 years ago. Will you tell us more YWN facts and trivia. We find it fascinating. Eg how many posters are registered here? (I see there are 2588 followers of YWN on Twitter at the moment)
ItcheSrulik *LIKE!*
skiaddict you should know from skiing that if you see a ‘heap’ in front of you then you must avoid it by going round it and coming out the other side of it. If you dont avoid it, then although you may initially feel that you are going up, it’s inevitable that real soon you’re gonna come crashing down…
Blinky where have you been hiding
In who are you now confiding
A poster revered
You have disappeared
After so much you’ve been here providing
For those who put Chaim & Esther Grossbergman on the invitation, do they address every invitation that way??
Hopefully not otherwise they’d be inviting that couple a few hundred times to the Simcha and nobody else!
bpt lol. Its good nobody realises your name is short for beautifully painted toes otherwise you’d never get any posts thru… 🙂
Leave your message on the Contact Us form and ask the mods to forward. This doesnt always work,depends how busy they are and if you’re the same gender etc. Or start a thread only for that poster and write that nobody else should read it. Come on, you know we wont look…
After Rupert Murdoch called today the most humble of his life, he was forced to eat ‘humble pie’ after getting hit in the face by a bowl of shaving cream, in what could be called a foam-hacking incident!
Doesnt the absolute winner of any ‘worst joke’ contest have to go to president obama for last night’s pizza joke to the astronauts…
Patient: “Doctor, doctor I’m obsessed with Twitter”
Doctor: “Sorry I don’t follow you”
Current Completions on the http://www.learnforleiby.com site:
2X Chumash
3X Nach
4X Shas Mishnayos
50% of Shas Gemarah
35X Pirkei Avos
1X Cheylek Alef Mishnah Berurah
12X Sefer Tehillim
5X Mesilas Yesharim
94X Iggeres Haramban
50X Hafrashas Challah
550+ Hours of No Loshan Hara
New Areas of Learning:
Kitzur Shulchan Aruch
Concise Book of Mitzvos
Lets do much,much more!!!
I did too. Its a brilliant idea and a great website. Thanks to elik for telling us about it. There’s something for everyone on it, whatever your level, ability or time restraints. Let everyone do something for leiby!
My favorite at the moment: a friend lent me a cd by a guy called zevi krausher. There’s some phenomenal songs on it. I’m really into the 2nd song Visimloch Atoh Hu Hashem, a slow song but very hartzig. Anyone know of this cd? It must have slipped by me. I highly recommend it.
YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2011, WHEN:
#1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.
#2. You haven’t played solitaire with real cards in years.
#3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.
#4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
#5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don’t have e-mail addresses.
#6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.
#7. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn’t have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.
#10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.
#11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )
#12. You’re reading this and nodding and laughing.
#13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.
#14. You are too busy to notice there was no # 8&9 on this list.
#15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn’t a #8&9 on this list.
And now you are laughing at yourself.
So go on, forward this to your friends that you want to be laughing at themselves!
I used to be indecisive also. I’m not sure if I still am or not…
adorable what I’m trying to work out is what is YOUR other username. Because how did you dig this thread up after 5 months unless its on your history? Unless you are a mod too… ? ?
Actually you’ve been reviving other long forgotten threads also. While it’s fun to see them again, what’s your motive?
And should this award you a new subtitle? Eg EMT (Emerger of Moth-eaten Threads)
I’ll take 20-30
I know many people who use the tzom kal tablets and they say it helps them greatly in fasting better and easier. It makes no difference to me whether this is physical or psychological, if they feel better for taking them then it’s worthwhile and they work.
Thanks for starting this fascinating thread, oh Goqite. And did you hear the one about the swede who met a danish, a viennese and a hamburger in a european bakery? Or the guy who went bathing in a river in France and found himself in Seinne? By the way is someone from Paris known as a parasite?
Could anyone who CURRENTLY lives in EY update those of us who dont as to the situation now with wifi and fare ticketing system? Or any other interesting pieces of information. Thanx.
Eating is fine if you are careful. Talking on a phone takes your mind off the road. Texting takes your eyes off the road aswell. What neighbourhood do you live in? I want to avoid it!Eating is fine if you are careful. Talking on a phone takes your mind off the road. Texting takes your eyes off the road aswell. What neighbourhood do you live in? I want to avoid it!Eating is fine if you are careful. Talking on a phone takes your mind off the road. Texting takes your eyes off the road aswell. What neighbourhood do you live in? I want to avoid it!Eating is fine if you are careful. Talking on a phone takes your mind off the road. Texting takes your eyes off the road aswell. What neighbourhood do you live in? I want to avoid it!
And seriously, sneezing is highly dangerous while driving. If you have a cold or suffer from the pollen you will know that an unexpected sneeze will make you close your eyes and lose concentration for a good few seconds. May Hashem protect us all.
To miss putting on tefillin is a bittul mitzvas asei, r”l. This carries a chiyuv korban!
If you’ve gotten yourself into a rut and missed, then change from TODAY! If you find it difficult to go to shul then at least put on at home and at least say the minimum with them on eg maybe just shema? Not paskening. Check with your LOR. And just remember: you are not doing Hashem the favor; its the other way round!
A mamin: I generally do not like generalizations.
Anyway women are just usually busier. They say a woman’s job is never done… And then they wonders why they gets paid less…