shtarkzich

Depression and Asperger’s are both treatable. The problem with depression is the condition itself can prevent you from putting in the sustained effort to get help. However, if you are able to post a call for help on a website you can probably push yourself to get help. As mentioned, OHEL could probably help. Try the office on the 4th floor (16th Ave.) as well as Bikur Cholim on 11th Ave. (if you reside in the area) or, I believe, the Met Council on Coney Island Ave. If you have a menschlich Rav he would probably be able to direct you. Don’t be afraid to confide in decent people. You must do your hishtadlus. Hatzlacha rabba!

I’ve heard it’s OK. There are also some frum women around who teach baking and cooking skills one on one at reasonable rates.

I wonder if The Breslover Rebbe, who I hold in some regard though not at all a Chasid, meant that people should come to his kever even from distant countries at great cost, leaving their families for yom tov and enriching a nation that hates us and him. It is understandable for him to have expressed what he did to fellow yidden in his day but would he have wanted the same thing under the above very different circumstances?

Such feelings are common but if you harp on them you will only be digging a pit for yourself and your probably blameless spouse. You do not mention what these unpleasant surprises are so we are left to assume they are of the sort that practically everyone encounters including your spouse. She may not be so discouraged by her surprises because either she had less expectations or is just more able to be sameach bechelka. I must assume she has positive things about her and that she didn’t intentionally fool you about important issues. Romance is illusory and usually dims after marriage. Any girl or boy is usually on their best behavior when dating and especially girls doing their utmost to enhance their appearance, a level that rarely is maintained after marriage. The day to day grind of life is natural and the focus should be on building a amicable home life with as few waves as possible not a lot of fun and good times. Sometimes a souse spends too much time with old friends or their family which might create resentment. There are issues of all sorts that could be ironed out or just accepted and not turn into reasons to ruin such an important commitment and mar another human beings life or hurt their feelings because they are not quite what you expected. Rarely, if ever, is another human being being quite what one expects. Is the other person at fault or our expectations? This requires fair and mature consideration. Focus on the good aspects of your spouse – is she healthy and more or less agreeable as a person. It is unjust because you may not have entered this commitment with a realistic attitude to consider that it is not such a big deal in today’s even Orthodox society to divorce. This should be the furthest thing from your mind. Be fair and considerate and you may be able to turn around your attitude and judge your mate more kindly and considerately. HATZLACHA RABBAH TO YOU BOTH…

I recall a Rav Miller tape where he discusses the subject of a child dying. I was somewhat comforted when he pointed out that the child is compensated with an oylum habo as if he had toiled and lived to be an old and successful yiras shomayim which we believe is our purpose for living in this world to begin with.

I mentioned this seminary because they are supposedly not only half the price of Israel but also have a midyear trip to Israel as part of their curriculum. Hatzlacha rabbah whatever you decide.