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Daven while your baby naps, as you will be able to concentrate then. I find it hard to daven with proper kavana and keep an eye on my kids at the same time.
While you are playing with and feeding your baby keep in mind that THIS is what Hashem wants you to be doing. Don’t feel bad or guilty that you can’t be in shul, and you should have a beautiful yom tov. Good luck and welcome to motherhood!
dbwcbb- you can definitely ask the shadchan to meet the girl your son is dating.
I was asked to meet mothers of a few of the boys I dated, but it was always after 2-3 dates. It wasn’t a big deal, we usually met in a far-out Starbucks and shmoozed for 10 minutes.
After my fourth date with my husband, he took me to meet his parents at his house. A little awkward, but again not a big deal.
Good luck!
observanteen- I do not expect to find written in the Torah “every detail of untznius clothing”. However I DO want to know if there are sources for covering knees and elbows and toes. Like you said, tznius is a sensitivity and maturity. Therefore I try not to attract attention to myself, and I do not expose 90% of my body like a non-Jew would. But I have a hard time understanding why my toes, knees and elbows must be covered.
Personally I think these guidelines were instituted as gedarim (please tell me if I am wrong) but are they as serious as gedarim on hilchos shabbos (muktzah), or are they more lenient like the gedarim between an engaged couple (only speak every other day)?
If someone would show me a source for these guidelines, I (and I think many other women) would have an easier time dressing accordingly.
mdd: sorry I was unclear.
Basically I personally abide by the halachos of tznius, but only because of the community I associate myself with. I would really like to understand where the halachos come from. I’m sure that if girls (and women) were taught halachos of tznius (and not just told to cover) they would dress accordingly. In all my bais yakov years not a single teacher or Rabbi showed us a textual source of tznius guidelines. It was taught more as a sensitivity/hashkafa subject.
So can anyone tell me where it says I have to cover my whole knee at all times?
adorable and queenbee:
While many many women (in NY and other communities) are toeing the “tznius lines” of elbows, knees and collar bones, there is now a trend going the opposite way. There are many women and girls starting to dress more tzniusdig, more of a meah shearim style, my guess is to combat those losing their tznius.
Even though I am a pretty recent bais-yakov graduate I unfortunately have a hard time keeping to my high school’s standards of tznius. (My husband doesn’t get it either, and asked me why on earth I was wearing stockings in 100 degree Miami summer.) It was always drilled into my head to “cover, measure and pin” my clothing, but I was never taught the sources of the “tznius lines”.
I understand I must act in a certain aidele way, and not wear tight clothing, and must cover most of my body. But why do I have to wear stockings? Why can’t I show my toes? Why my elbows? Whats wrong with a slit below my knee? And whats the difference between 4 inches below my knee and one inch above?
Yes a Jewish woman has to act and dress a certain way, but who made up the rules?
P.S. One of my seminary rebbaim taught me a very important rule of tzinus, that inspires me more than 12 years of Bais Yakov training. He said “A woman should dress the way she wants OTHER women to dress in front of her husband”
the first shabbos i went to future inlaws i brought them the first batch of challah i ever made. they weren’t perfect but my inlaws (and chosson) loved it. another week, after i got pictures from my vort i brought them a silver frame with a great picture of me and chosson. they still have it displayed in their dining room.
A couple of weeks ago I took my two nefews to the childrens’ museum. They noticed a group of non-jewish kids being rude and wild. My 4 year old nefew turned to his brother and said “They dont know how to behave because they are Goyim!!” 🙂
Even little kids know that Jews are expected to act better than others!
Physicians Assistant. Truth is I’m young and can go back to school, but I dont want to leave my kids with a babysitter for hours a day. Maybe when they are all in school a full day? But then IY”H I will have more babies… Im a little jealous of my friends who got married late and were able to finish their schooling before the responsibilities of kids and husband. (I got married and had my first child before I was 20)
So when is the right time for a frum woman to go to school?
Really depends on what timeframe all these incidents occured. If they were all within one week I say your kids are more wild than average. If within a few months then definitely normal!
There is an amazing book call “1-2-3 Magic” that teaches you (parent) how to set boundaries and consequences, and stick with them. This method of discipline is easy to implement and can change your and your family’s lives! I recommend it to everyone with kids.