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I only have 29’s e-mail and the main moderation e-mail. I think I tried both. 29 only e-mails me back when he is trying to give my advice.
I donβt remember receiving any emails that were not responded to. I will check again.
a good name: Are you new here or the incarnation of a bunch of recent usernames?
In any case, no one is really favored here. We have both been users for a few years and through respect and the forum we create a relationship with the mods. There’s a few other ways to get answered, like if they have something they need to say, they had to edit your post, you are driving them insane, or they’re just in the mood to respond.In any case if you are respectful and courteous to them, they will be to you in return.
The reason they responded to me was probably a combination of knowing me for years, and also it seems like the mod on duty didn’t know where this was coming from and was surprised.Most abuse happens by someone the child knows, so it does have a good chance to be a family member.
Although I usually hear more about cousins, uncles, etc and not siblings. I think siblings is rarer but it definitely still happens. I know some people…In any case, you need to stay vigilant, but be normal.
@Litvish, They use wordpress, I’m very familiar with it.
Mods aren’t interested in talking to me unfortunately but hey that’s life.That’s a pretty random, out of nowhere, statement
I take the chassidish route.
If we believe in an eternal world than their neshomos are still around and they can intervene on our behalf.
Specifically on a yartzeit and the 3 days afterwards, the neshomo is said to come down to this world, and you can feel it in the air, and it’s kedusha.I daven to HASHEM but I’ll also TALK to the neshoma, asking it to intervene.
I am not praying to it, I am talking to it. Also the entire time it’s so clear to me that Hashem is the one behind it all and he has the true power to allow something or not.It cannot be tailored at will. I run websites, there’s certain settings in the site already and if you want to tailor it, you need to pay a tailor a hefty fee. AKA a programmer.
Get an adblocker. You won’t see any ads at all. π
Not forcing your kids to eat, having set mealtimes and that’s when they eat. No eating when it’s not a meal.
Teaching them to eat by their hunger signals.
Never telling them to eat more or less.They do this in Israel. They have full time people getting on busses and checking Rav Kavs on the lightrail and busses. If you didn’t pay you get a pretty hefty fine. I guess it covers anyone else who ALSO didn’t pay with the fine.
They probably took the idea from Israel…
@Putin Oh and I don’t mind someone who has done immature things in the past, like making interesting names in the CR at age 14.
@Atl123 It’s not, sorry. That’s my own personal preference. π I found mine very addicting, do not want it in my house, even if someone says they aren’t addicted. If they truly aren’t addicted they won’t mind not bringing it into the house.
@Midwest2 Someone constantly looking to be better, and not just in areas where it’s convenient. I want someone who doesn’t talk just about ideals, but ALSO has a plan to actually get there. I find many people have ideals in mind but don’t really want to get there, because being frum and erliche and middos and stuff is hard, it’s easier to not.I am looking for someone who doesn’t have a smartphone, someone who is koveh itim for learning and enjoys it, someone who is growing constantly, someone who wants to send their kids to the mainstream BY schools…
Haven’t found someone who fits this bill and is working.
Maybe half half…but not fully working.I’m in
I think thereβs a stigma against working bochrim, Which must be changed. There are plenty of working bochrim who learn everyday and have great middos, but girls wonβt look at them because theyβre not learning full time.
Most people aren’t against someone who is working and erlich. They are just hard to come by.
Toi, google 3rd hand smoke. A new study shows the smoke can linger in a area for over 30 years, and will affect anyone who walks through that area.
Unlike overeating the smoke from your cigarettes can attach itself onto the physical environment and say there for over 30 years, causing every person who passes through to get that unhealthy stuff in their body.
How can you do that to so many people?!
avreimi, I don’t know which Rabbis you know but I wouldn’t call those people Rabbis.
Gadol Hadorah: This is true. I have mentioned multiple times that because extremists in Israel are SO anti it, it has created a large enough population that the government is forced to accommodate. I think it will take much more time to fully be integrated in Israel and it is definitely possible to live, thrive, get around, and do anything here with no smartphone. I don’t know the situation in America.I also do think books are not going out of style. Many nonjews also prefer books, holding it, flipping pages. Avid readers and writers…
Avram, according to your point that’s exactly why smartphones shouldn’t be used!
Most people will not be able to overcome temptation. Just like with heavy perscription drugs that your Doctor may tell you that you need to take but very very little because you will be addicted, it’s a phsyical response you cannot control, that is bigger than you.Even if you say you can overcome it.
THAT’S TODAY.
What bout tomorrow? Every day they spend millions of dollars trying to get it a little tighter, make it a little more addictive. How long can one hold out for?So my opinion is to use it minimally or not at all if possible.
Just like with the drugs, if you don’t truly need them and you can use other drugs that aren’t addictive, or as addictive, than do that.Takes2-2tango
Participant
Why stop at smartphones?
How can you trust yourself to not be mechallel shabbos,eat traif, hilchos nidda,
Hilchos yichud. Getting up to daven before zman krias shma,eating on Yom kipper The list is endless!
——————————————————————————————————————————–
1. None of these things are created to be physically addictive.
There’s a taivah there, but it’s not an addictive taivah. It doesn’t send endorphins to your brain every time you think about it or do it.I never said it’s assur. But why voluntarily put yourself in a extended position where you need to resist an addictive item every single day if you don’t have to? Don’t you have enough things to worry about? You are going to add more problems?
GadolHadorah, did you read my last post? I said:
1. I never said it’s assur, I just listed some of the bad parts about it and why it would be helpful to avoid it if possible.
2. Mentioned I do not know of the matzav how necessary it is in the USA. I have not been bad since I moved 6 years ago, and that was a time where most people I knew were getting the first Iphones and people have blacberrys.
3. I mentioned in Israel it is definitely possible to function and THRIVE without a smartphone. There is a massive population who will refuse to allow it in their homes, and although extreme, you can’t deny that in those people’s merit the government had to cater towards them since they are a pretty big amount of people.The Little I know:
If you aren’t working you don’t need one. That means moms who aren’t working. Also most women have jobs that they don’t need to be contacted off hours.
Even so I have a computer, I don’t need to have skype and e-mail at my reach every second of the day.
I do understand the matzav is a bit different in the USA.Although in Israel, having a smartphone means you don’t have to wait an hour at the bank, and you can work with your health care on the go, and many other useful apps, there aren’t necessary, and although technology advances and many people are trying to make things unworkable for non-smartphone users, I believe there’s a big enough population in Israel who will refuse to touch a smartphone, that forces the government and businesses and health care and everything else to make sure everything is available without a smartphone.
The little I know, it is true other things are addictive. Such as alcohol, drugs and other things.
Use them if you need to, and use them properly.
But do you REALLY need a smartphone? Seriously?I don’t know about you but I struggle with so much, with spiritual things, emotional things, I’m a work in progress! There so much work to be done, I can’t fathom introducing extra work for no reason.
It takes a lot of work to resist it.
The makers of this technology don’t own them themselves.
They pay millions of dollars a year to their workers to figure out your brain and how you can spend 1 more second on their app.I prefer to just stay out of it.
I don’t trust myself, and it’s not about doing “bad” things.
It’s about wasting hours there, constantly on edge, have everything on my fingertips.
I’m so happy mine is in the trash.I’ve spoken to a few posters outside of the CR.
It’s not so exciting after the first time.1. There is no mitzvah to serve in the IDF.
2. It makes life a lot easier, you are more integrated in the country’s system if you make aliyah, leaving less headache for schooling, health care, etc that are more complicated when you aren’t a citizenI have on conclusion now.
Troll.huju, so what does your Rabbi suggest you do?
RebYidd it also has to do with the sound settings and your device, so if you heard it on a different device or volume it could change that as well.
ready now, are you a human being or a bot on repeat.
It’s like you can’t hold a conversation. π.
You haven’t addressed anyone’s logical arguments, rather you keep yelling your lines over and over again.
No offense, it’s annoying. And it does not make your cause sound great, it just makes you sounds immature, like those SJWs who yell their propaganda over and over and over again and no matter what you say it goes in one ear and out the next.Avi K. I did not really go into specifics with my Rabbi since I do not like listening to romance songs in any case.
For what I understood he said anything that is privately shared between man and a woman, so anything that expresses that bond or relationship…Feel free to ask your own Rabbi.
I really think it boils down to asking your Rabbi and following what he says is halachically allowed, and after that seeing how the music makes you feel.
According to my Rabbi any song written about a relationship between man and woman is oiver on the issur of nivul peh. But I guess maybe other rabbi’s with disagree.
About feeling, I know some of you were making fun of me for saying it’s about how you find yourself dancing or what thoughts you have and how Jewish “copies” can do that too. Most of the people I know who cut out secular music from their lives have cut out various other music that is Jewish for this reason. I know people who won’t listen to Shwekey for this reason, simply because they find themselves dancing inappropriately.
In any case, music is supposed to connect you to Hashem.
It’s like an elevator, it’s either down or up. Either it helps your ruchniyus or makes it worse.
Each person needs to look inside and judge for themselves..The dress was white and gold.
The voice says Yanny.I don’t think you should look for opinions on this here.
I think this could end up being loshon hora.
I have head people say it works amazing and other say it is a scam.
Please, try asking real people, in real life.
Don’t take anything on the internet at face values and never take medical or therapeutic advice from strangers on a forum.Zoo is not a good first date…that’s like date 3 or 4.
Winnie had a bunch of great options.
I know this sounds insane but the shadchan could also ask the girl where she wants to go. I’m usually asked for input about where to go, especially since I’ve been here for a while and many boys haven’t.Takes2-2tango: Music is the language of the soul, when you listen to it you literally fall into the world of whoever created the music, into their soul. I believe Rabbi Dessler (I don’t remember which Rabbi it was) has an entire explanation for how it works. Music is extremely powerful.
If we are going to go the route that even though many Rabbanim say it’s horrible for your neshoma, some disagree, than first we have to cut out most of the rock and pop music. Any music that makes you feel like you should dance in a not tzniyus way.
Music should be something that connects you to HASHEM. You should be able to listen to a song, and afterwards be able to daven 5 minutes later. Try listening to a non-jewish song and davening right after and see where your head is during davening. I’ll bet you many songs will put your head is not good places.
Beyond that Midwest2 says you can listen to clean romance. According to many rabbanim any romance music, anything written from a man to woman or vise versa is assur. It violates the prohibition to listen or say nivul peh which according to many poskim is anything that is meant to be between a man and woman.
There’s many opinions, and I cannot judge anyone here for whatever theirs is. I assume they had a start conversation with their Rabbi and are following his advice on what is allowed and what isn’t.
I don’t understand.
Why is this collection of goyim coming to Israel a bigger chilul Hashem than the soccer ball games they have every week on shabbos where hundreds and thousands of yidden go to? Or the big pride parade in Tel Aviv each year? Or all the stores and whatnot open on shabbos? Or the hatred between us yidden?Um…people with smicha?
Of course not. Non-jewish music is detrimental to the soul, even if it’s clean.
I could care less about what anyone else is doing, why should that interfere with my ruchniyus and connection to Hashem?No hobblewash, wasn’t she inspired at seminary? Didn’t she make friends? Didn’t she learn and grow?
Just tell her to talk about that.
Plus, I’m sure half the class will be bawling no matter what sappy thing she said.I’ve never heard of hiring a speechwriter.
Most people figure out how to write it if they can’t themselves.
Frum schools are very non-professional, were not talking about Trump here.She can’t write a 5 minute sappy thin about how seminary changed her life?
I’ll write it for her for heavens sake!There are mussar yeshivos out there but they aren’t “mainstream”.
Who says you need to be “mainstream” anyway? Go to thebest place for you..Surviving without a smartphone I do believe will be possible in Israel at least for many years. There’s enough of a population here that is not willing to touch one with a ten foot pole that forces the government and institutions to make sure they can access things without a smartphone.
Even so as crazy at it sounds, there’s lots of other groups and people living in the USA that don’t own smartphones and who aren’t Jewish. Everyone has their own reasons, but their are lots of non-jews who dislike the affects of smartphone use too. When I was trying to get rid of mine finding other people who weren’t Jewish and had no push from anyone or any community or religion nor knew anyone living without a smartphone besides for themselves really gave me chizuk.
What genre?
Wait, did’t this happen like a few years ago?
Um has anyone thought maybe this crisis is caused by the will of Hashem?
I think people push their children in mold, or to go to x yeshiva like all their brothers/cousins/friends etc rather than actually find a good fit place.
Perhaps the yeshiva was just never his type. We all grow in different circumstances.
It’s really not a crazy question or a surprise.
Oftentimes we are somewhere we think were doing great but Hashem puts us somewhere else that is unexpected but we preform better in.Is it Maras Eyin to walk into a Mcdonalds if you need the bathroom?
On some level, yes. But you have to be normal. You have the job of trying to make it look as normal as possible and other people’s job is to think favorably.Do you want to live in America or Israel?
If you want to live in Israel than there’s plenty of american israeli girls in shidduchim who know english and hebrew, many of which have stronger english than hebrew. I am one of those.However if you plan on living in Israel you have to adapt to the country on some degree.
There’s many shadchanim in anglo areas of Jerusalem and Ramat Beit Shemesh.@DaasYochid β
Rule of thumb: old enough to post on the CR, old enough to get married
Disagree. I was posting here before I was in high school, definitely NOT ready for shidduchim.
How does one know if theyβre ready?
Are you ready to financially support a family for the rest of your life? Are you ready to have kids? Are you ready to educate kids and give them chinuch?
Visa’s and Passport updates, among other things.
My american passport expired a while ago, if I want to update it I go there.You know you can google “What does an embassy do?”