Shopping613 🌠

@coffee addict that literally like saying never try anything that has any risk in it.

It’s not so simple.
Maybe people ARE looking out for them. I have a lot of people and married friends looking out for me, I known they are and because they truly know me unlike a shadchan they’re not going to set me up with just any joe shmoe who is yeshivish and doesn’t have a smartphone. They are actually looking and very aware of what’s matim and what I’m looking for. I have brother in laws and brothers who know what I’m looking for, my really close friends husbands have heard me talk about it too.

Also, you SHOULD be focusing on YOUR marriage and building your relationship.
If you’re bored, shidduchim is NOT a hobby or a playground, it’s actual hard work that take physical and mental energy.

Not everyone can do it.

Go somewhere else.
Work harder to be shomer eineyim.
Make sure to make yourself lunch.
There’s not tzniyus women everywhere, why do you have to specify where you live and make it sound like there’s a specific issue with tzniyus in your community?

@knaidlach
After being straight up lied to so many times by friends and “rabbanim” I honestly don’t feel like research does much of anything. Everyone is great amazing and has great middos and no issues.

The only thing research does it tell me a little bit about things that are neutral and more technical.
Like:
Does he have a smartphone?
Does he want to live in Israel?
Is he comfortable with the system here?
Is he adventurous?
Is he planning to take the Ole of Parnassah at some point?
How long is he learning for?

When it comes down to middos, personality, depth, where the person is really holding and really going towards and what they are doing vs saying; you can’t know until the date.
And if everyone lies about someone being insane or completely socially off…you won’t know till the date either.

Well my parents and everyone says you cannot just say “I’d be okay with x, y, and z” because that’s an invitation to go doulbley far on such a road. In a shidduch world where everyone tries to conceal information “shy” can mean basically socially awkward to autistic and “openmindness” can equal openness in hashkafa.

You need to see different people and be super clear where you are holding. Don’t say “I’d date former MO girls” say “I want to date someone with my hashkafos, I don’t really mind where she comes from as long as were holding together in the same place now”.

I’m a former OOT girl. I live in-town now but I’m an OOT at heart, I feel like it’s hard to find someone who gets the mentality of OOT.

@anon1m0us In the times of tanach, EVERYONE was learning and only the most learned were the ones who went to battle. Thing is now, most Jews are in the army rather than learning. Like I’ve said before, if chilonim went to learn half time I would have no problem sending my child to fight half the time too.

You have to remember who is RUNNING this world, and although you may disagree, many people like Joseph have said are saying that the army is doing enough hishtadlus. We’ve won countless wars without the chareidim and protected our country very well with the insane odds against us. It’s been working till now, so why complain? Had we been losing wars with thousands of dying I think many of us and the gedolim may feel different on the issue…

@manitou Why can no one from the pro army answer my question? We need an army but we also need learners.

I mean, I think Trump is pretty good, but not like the best.
If someone better comes around, than I would not re-elect.
If no one better comes around I’d re-elect…if I feel like going through the whole mess of elections overseas.

@Avi K you do realize there are more opinions on the topic?

@yichusdik

The question is, who defines how we’re supposed to show that hakaras hatov?

It becomes a sticky situation when I get yelled at for not caring because I don’t do their ideas of hakaras hatov. Because I don’t say a special prayer in my shmoneh esrei for soldiers and I don’t observe yom hazikaron I am not showing hakaros hatov. Because they get to define it for me.

Yes we are all responsible, for the Torah and the physical fighting. But when half the population is only doing half the work, we are forced to do the other half. Like I said before, if chilonim were going to study Torah 8 hours a day, I’d feel more comfortable sending my son out to to do physical army work 8 hours a day.

@MrSarahLevine613

Learning is not putting your life on the line, but real learning is hard and doing the hardest work Hashem wants from a Jew, to work on himself. What more can you ask for?! Those bochurim are doing what Hashem created them to do, exactly his will. How can you compete?

In the times of the tanach thw soldiers had to be big talmudi chachamim, not just anyone who decided to put his life on the line.

All the songs on that album are all originally nonjewish mainly.
Do you want the original original name?

Living in America we didn’t celebrate thanksgiving. We celebrated the sales and day off from school 🙂
Muttar, Assur, it’s more about why are you celebrating? You should have hakaras hatov every day to everyone around you.

You’ll find serious academic girls and party girls is every seminary.
I was in a seminary where girls were pretty chill but in class girls were serious and respectful and listened.
The past years since me I’ve heard it’s a really big issue that their struggling with. You can’t really know.

These sems are all places full of mixes. Not super academic, but not a free for all. I’d say a normal balance.
If you REALLY want an academic place you should be looking into BJJ or Chemdas.

SL613:

“I think that academic exposure is more important.”
What do you mean by that? It’s important to me exposed to knowledge?

“There is a certain bluntness or agressiveness that i see in the charedi world (which is accepted there) that doesnt fit in the outside world. I could be wrong totally — but I see it on occassion”

There’s people everywhere in any society that can be blunt and aggressive. There’s many people with undiagnosed behavioral issues, mental disorders, and people who fall under the Autistic Spectrum who all can have tendencies to act that way.

I’m not sure what your point is. Do you think Bais Yaakovs teach young girls to be blunt?

SarahLevin613 I said before in my first post that it’s just basically balancing sheltering and also teaching your kid how to deal with it. And although people may disagree, you CAN shelter your child from internet, and TV and they’ll still learn how to deal with the outside world.

There’s still not religious cousins, less religous cousins, neighbors and friends who are unsheltered or have different hashkafos. The yetzer hara to be involved with gashmiyus and pritzus can express itself with radio use, getting a hold of non-jewish music, going out to ben yehudah with friends to just “watch” what’s going on. (No one will know, right? And we won’t do anything). Buying a smartphone when they are old enough to do so of their own accord and finding themselves addicted, bombarded with messages from other frum people of the opposite gender, realizing that there’s enough struggle without the smartphone and choosing to get rid of it, delete instagram, etc of their own accord.

As a child there’s so much to be exposed from, in the street, on vacations, from cousins, neighbors, friends, schoolmates (Why can’t we do that?) (Doing things by their houses).

My siblings went to the Beis Yaakov system and so did I, the things we heard in school, or the things classmates did, you wouldn’t believe. Hearing stories from my younger siblings, who go to one of the most prestigious and sheltered BY’s in the city, it DOESN’T matter. There’s still kids there coming to school and telling my sister about an extremely graphic movie she watched with her mother (Don’t ask, why isn’t this child kicked out already? They have money, and doing so makes the school stop being in denial. How can children in their school be watching such things when clearly they are so frum all the girls must wear skirts 5 inches below the knee, the won’t even MENTION the word internet because it’s so obvious that none of the children would ever know about that)

+1 Toi
+2 Chasid

I do want to just say I highly doubt 50 percent of chareidim in Jerusalem do not vaccinate.
I mean, I don’t know the entire population but I know hundreds of people and I have only met 1 family who are against medical science entirely. Everyone else I know vaccinates.

Perhaps I’m just not invited to the super secret anti -vacc meetings they hold under the kosel late at night or something.

In times like this you can raise a child with no internet and TV and they still can be the least naive people out there. The world outside is insane, and no matter what you do to “shelter” your kids, they’ll find out about it.

Now, I think it’s more of a concept of teaching our children to fight their battles, grow, think for themselves, make decisions, work on themselves etc, but also knowing what battles aren’t worth fighting. I gave up my smartphone a while ago because I realized that fighting all the tuma and the bad parts just wasn’t worth it. Theoretically I could of said “well it’s so useful, and Hashem really created technology, he must want me to harness it’s ability and overcome myself”. And yes, sometimes Hashem DOES want that from us, but I think, and I can really only speak for myself here that the world is filled with SO many battles to fight that children will not grow up weak without smartphones and TV.

There’s so much more overcoming our yetzer in the lesser more mundane and not exciting type of headline things. In addition if you raise your kids with a love of the Jewish people and allow them to socialize with people who may not share all the same hashkafos as you, that’s a great way for your kids to learn how to deal with the real world and deal with these types of technology.

00646: All of your points are faulty. These people are not interested in any deal or being part of a productive society. They want one thing, that is to completely own the land called Israel and run it to their own desires. The wouldn’t even want to co-run a state.

This land is ours, we won it fair and square in a war. Pretty sure that’s hows wars work. You haven’t adressed ANY of my other posts because you can’t back yourself up.

Many people pick up or drop of the girl if the guy has a car.
Most people here do not so therefore…busses.

Trust me, I’d rather get in a car than have to get on the same bus as my date back home and awkwardly try and figure out if we should sit near each other, or not, and if so worry about people looking at us.

@Avi no difference.
@00464 Um, actually some people don’t support the current zionist state as they do not uphold all of the religious values. A muslim state would support same gender marriage or allow abortion, the israeli state does.

Many people are against modern zionism.
Also you don’t offer citizenship to people who will kill you. It’s just not a smart idea.

‘@000646 Did you read the first page of this thread?
I clearly said I would have no issue living in a dual state co-run by palestinians and Jews that protects both nations. The only problem is most palestinians want this entire country, to themselves. They do not want any Jews running the country, perhaps they’d allow a couple thousand to live here and who knows how those would be treated and if their government would protect them.

Our loyalties first lay in our own nation and country before we can think about helping others. A country needs to first protect it’s own citizens.

You can buy a dumb phone online or abroad and hook up your SIM with it.

Cars aren’t addictive.

I would be okay living here (in Israel) if it were a joint country run by palestinians and Jews that protected both nations and was against any type of terror.

The only problem is there aren’t many palestinians who would agree to that.
Palestinians want the entire country, for themselves. AND don’t want any Jews running or living in it.