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Let me tell you something. These “Bein Hazmanim” breaks yield the most engagements. It gives time for Bochurim to focus on dating between the Zman. Families whose husbands learn full time don’t get time to spend a lot of time together. These are usually the most connecting times for husbands and wives. Lucky are those hard working earners that can go away on Pesach vacations, midwinter vacations, Chanukah vacations, tours to Israel. These two times of Bein Hazmanim is it, that’s all the “vacation” time they have. Many bochurim use this time to get their driving licenses (so they can date) medical appointments and shopping. That’s 4 weeks out of the year. What are you complaining about??
Go into http://www.hefkervelt .com and read Rav Aharon Feldman’s Shlita stance on Bnei Yeshiva not going. He does encourage Baalei Batim to go. Bais Yaakov Baltimore girls high school is going.
Most bochurim stay in Yeshiva for Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur in Chutz La’aretz too and Israeli Yeshivos. The Yeshivas provide the meals. Why aren’t these bochurim eating in their Yeshiva? Or they can make their own meals like the men do at Uman together or Chassidim by the Rebbe. Why are only the American bochurim shnoring for food on Yom Tov? There is inflation everywhere. Rent is high. People are struggling. They might be over on סעודה שאינה מספקת לבעלה.
“Why is this Golus different from all other Galuyos?”
In Mitzrayim it was only decreed to be 210 years. Their suffering was a Gezaira from “Bamah Ei’dah”.
Bavel was for 70 years, and even when people went up to build the second Bais Hamikdash, many Yidden stayed behind.
Galus Edom is the longest so far. Consider the Spanish expulsion, the crusades and the holocaust R”L. Have we ever permanently remained in one country, who have we wandered from place to place seeking refuge from our oppressors? What makes you think that Golus America is here to stay? Wake up and refocus your compass where it needs to be directed.Grilled cheese sandwiches, pizza, macaroni and cheese.
Have you read the first hand stories of children that became paralyzed from the vaccine? And the reported cases of heart inflammation in teenagers? And female hormones going crazy in addition to causing stillborns, miscarriages, rapid heart racing and blood clots. It’s all on the web. Just do your research like you do before buying your car. Need I say more?
To Yserbius123: We trust doctors because of their years of study and training in the medical field. COVID-19 was not in the curriculum in Medical School. Trusting your doctor on issues of new diseases is like trusting a coffee shop to make you a steak. They might know how to make the best coffee but you can’t make steak out of coffee beans. Unfortunately, many doctors misjudged and misguided people during Covid which has caused many people to be niftar wrongly R”L. Many cases known personally.
Siyum Hashas
Interesting. I was recently thinking that this mageifa happened right after the grand crowds at various Siyum Hashas venues, where the exact amount of people were counted and displayed in the local frum papers. I closed my eyes and held my breath when the numbers were stated, hoping that nothing bad would come of it. But alas the events right afterwards proved otherwise. I’m left wondering why this was never brought up in conversations about the virus. In the days of Dovid Hemelech, he too wanted to count Bnei Yisroel and a terrible mageifa erupted until he realized why it happened. Never put a number on Klal Yisroel. We are numerous like the starts in the sky and the sand.
We live in confusing times. The world of materialism surrounds us and engulfs us in its ever ending pursuit of acquiring more money and gadgets, leaving the spiritual pursuits of our neshama dormant. Eretz Yisroel is a place mostly devoid of materialistic pursuits and a place where 9/10 of the Shechinah in the world is found. Where else can a person tune in to their neshamos other than the walls of the Yeshiva, where girls have no place. The spiritual experience of Eretz Yisroel will leave an imprint on one’s neshama, and the images of the Kosel Hamaaravi, Kever Rachel, Mearas Hamachpela will forever be upfront in one’s mind when davening “Vesechezena Eineinu” and keep one on the right derech in challenging moments in life. Privileged are those who are zoche to return and build their own homes there as well, based on their positive experiences in seminary and Yeshiva. Many girls go on scholarships and Masa and earn 30 credits that year. Please ask your sons/daughters not to take advantage of the Israeli hospitality. Tuition supports the Israeli society and it’s your investment in the future of our land. It’s all a matter of perspective.
It would attract the wrong crowd. The Yeshivish Oilam won’t go for this new idea out of nowhere. There are other good solutions that could be implemented in a more private manner such as being set up in advance and meeting in a quiet corner. Hameivin Yavin.
I’m assuming most of the posters are married BH. As a single in shidduchim for over 15 years, I’ll tell you what I find the most difficult in shidduchim. Firstly, in the “olden day’s” where there was no official Bais Yaakov schools and the girls were educated at home by their mothers and the boys by their fathers, not only did the parents know their children better, but the children respected their parents’ decisions and the parents mostly did their childrens’ shidduchim without too much input by the children other than meeting once or twice. (Read all the gedolim books…) I think a major problem nowadays is the independence of children. Girls are sent out of the home from 8:30-4:30 getting education from others and developing an opinion of their own outside of their home, whether by educators or their peers. Then they go off to a year or two of seminary and continue on to college where their independent mindsets are further solidified, as well as bochurim who go off to years away to Yeshiva and develop a Kesher with their Rabbaim who may have a different hadhkafah than their upbringing. This leaves it that when it comes to shidduchim, girls and boys are more reliant on their mechanchim/mechanchos and peers to redt them shidduchim because at that point the parents are more or less out of the picture. I find that where the parents and girls are on the same page, the shidduchim go faster. Girls and boys who become shtarker than their parents or vice versa are left on their own devices and that can add years to the search as they have to do all the leg work on their own. If people would “adopt” a single they know in such a position and do the work like a parent would, there would be many more shidduchim happening at a quicker pace. Thank you.
Instead of looking at the way things are done today, let’s look back in our history. In the shtetel in Poland, the parents betrothed their children at a young age based on family background. (I think most of our families come from these marriages.) In other words, let the parents start the “shidduchim process” before the girls/boys come home from seminary/yeshiva. The reason why the percentage of marriages is higher in the chassidishe world is because the parents are the one in charge of finding/meeting the boys for their daughters and vice versa. (That, by the way, can save the girls a lot of embarrassment…) I think too much is left in the hands of single boys/girls these days and more action is required from parents/relatives. Instead of running to shadchanim, seek our your relatives who have known you for longer than 20 minutes. What happened to those old friends of grandpa and grandma? Let’s find out about their children. Let’s look close to home and follow the traditions of our ancestors. May we merit to continue the legacy of our families to the next generation.
If you are a caring, responsible mother to your children, you would put their physical and emotional safety first. Even though you feel bad (for your husband) to expose his abusive behavior towards you and your children, you excuse your silence for “the benefit” of your marriage. Where do the kids come into the picture? They are no less important than you are. If they are minors, they are reyling on you for their physical and emotional well-being. Staying silent is paramount to “AL Taamod Al Dam Raecha”. Years down the road, it will only be detructive to the family as a whole. Things will not get better on their own. Seeking help NOW will save your life and the lives of your children. I hope you have the courage to make the right decision.