The recent podcast of Stories of Hope featured a couple with a disability married. It was quoted that in Skver, every year there is a list of all of the boys and girls and shadchanim go down the list and set them up. Within 1-2 years they are all married. The man on the podcast was considered an alter Bochur at 22 (and married a 26 year old girl). I believe that there is a shadchan crisis.
1. Shadchanim are too few compared to the number of eligible singles each year. The girls that get married young have parents working full time on shidduchim for them.
2. Shadchanim work “in the box”. Someone slightly circle automatically gets rejected and is left in her own to find her mate, whether single events or other.
3. Too much power is given to shadchanim. Left, right…
4. We need to create a database of names of boys and girls and have an organization going through the list and setting people up.

Go into http://www.hefkervelt .com and read Rav Aharon Feldman’s Shlita stance on Bnei Yeshiva not going. He does encourage Baalei Batim to go. Bais Yaakov Baltimore girls high school is going.

“Why is this Golus different from all other Galuyos?”
In Mitzrayim it was only decreed to be 210 years. Their suffering was a Gezaira from “Bamah Ei’dah”.
Bavel was for 70 years, and even when people went up to build the second Bais Hamikdash, many Yidden stayed behind.
Galus Edom is the longest so far. Consider the Spanish expulsion, the crusades and the holocaust R”L. Have we ever permanently remained in one country, who have we wandered from place to place seeking refuge from our oppressors? What makes you think that Golus America is here to stay? Wake up and refocus your compass where it needs to be directed.

Have you read the first hand stories of children that became paralyzed from the vaccine? And the reported cases of heart inflammation in teenagers? And female hormones going crazy in addition to causing stillborns, miscarriages, rapid heart racing and blood clots. It’s all on the web. Just do your research like you do before buying your car. Need I say more?

Siyum Hashas

We live in confusing times. The world of materialism surrounds us and engulfs us in its ever ending pursuit of acquiring more money and gadgets, leaving the spiritual pursuits of our neshama dormant. Eretz Yisroel is a place mostly devoid of materialistic pursuits and a place where 9/10 of the Shechinah in the world is found. Where else can a person tune in to their neshamos other than the walls of the Yeshiva, where girls have no place. The spiritual experience of Eretz Yisroel will leave an imprint on one’s neshama, and the images of the Kosel Hamaaravi, Kever Rachel, Mearas Hamachpela will forever be upfront in one’s mind when davening “Vesechezena Eineinu” and keep one on the right derech in challenging moments in life. Privileged are those who are zoche to return and build their own homes there as well, based on their positive experiences in seminary and Yeshiva. Many girls go on scholarships and Masa and earn 30 credits that year. Please ask your sons/daughters not to take advantage of the Israeli hospitality. Tuition supports the Israeli society and it’s your investment in the future of our land. It’s all a matter of perspective.

I’m assuming most of the posters are married BH. As a single in shidduchim for over 15 years, I’ll tell you what I find the most difficult in shidduchim. Firstly, in the “olden day’s” where there was no official Bais Yaakov schools and the girls were educated at home by their mothers and the boys by their fathers, not only did the parents know their children better, but the children respected their parents’ decisions and the parents mostly did their childrens’ shidduchim without too much input by the children other than meeting once or twice. (Read all the gedolim books…) I think a major problem nowadays is the independence of children. Girls are sent out of the home from 8:30-4:30 getting education from others and developing an opinion of their own outside of their home, whether by educators or their peers. Then they go off to a year or two of seminary and continue on to college where their independent mindsets are further solidified, as well as bochurim who go off to years away to Yeshiva and develop a Kesher with their Rabbaim who may have a different hadhkafah than their upbringing. This leaves it that when it comes to shidduchim, girls and boys are more reliant on their mechanchim/mechanchos and peers to redt them shidduchim because at that point the parents are more or less out of the picture. I find that where the parents and girls are on the same page, the shidduchim go faster. Girls and boys who become shtarker than their parents or vice versa are left on their own devices and that can add years to the search as they have to do all the leg work on their own. If people would “adopt” a single they know in such a position and do the work like a parent would, there would be many more shidduchim happening at a quicker pace. Thank you.

If you are a caring, responsible mother to your children, you would put their physical and emotional safety first. Even though you feel bad (for your husband) to expose his abusive behavior towards you and your children, you excuse your silence for “the benefit” of your marriage. Where do the kids come into the picture? They are no less important than you are. If they are minors, they are reyling on you for their physical and emotional well-being. Staying silent is paramount to “AL Taamod Al Dam Raecha”. Years down the road, it will only be detructive to the family as a whole. Things will not get better on their own. Seeking help NOW will save your life and the lives of your children. I hope you have the courage to make the right decision.