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i can tell you one instance which Moshe Dayan saw clear evidence of Hasgacha
when Tzahal conquered the HarHabays during the 6 days war, and a lot of jews streamed to the kosel,
General Dayan did too; He did insert a ‘petek’ in the wall; one news reporter got curious as to what the he write, and he retrieved it;
this is what he found (per him)
מֵאֵ֣ת יְ֭הוָה הָ֣יְתָה זֹּ֑את הִ֖יא נִפְלָ֣את בְּעֵינֵֽינוּ׃Please look at this stats from the us census (table MS-2) estimated median age at first marriage by male/female, going back to 1890;
Pretty clear across the board men marry younger women;
Is it because females mature earlier than males? maybe;
in talmud times marriageable age started for females before 13; for males around 18;
you may argue that men sometimes married multiple women;
that basically stopped after the cherem of R’GMH.
perhaps the ages quoted above also changed, but then need we need to go back to the us census stats;
if the theory of nassi is correct, this shiduch crisis should have appeared way back in our history, and i don;t believe it is the case. so i personally don’t see the math concurring with reality;
Maybe there are more odd boys than girls; I don’t know;
What i do know is that there are many jewish girls (& boys) in pain because they are not married and having families, and that should be painful to all of us; any efforts to solve the issue should be welcomed ; not sure it can be pinned on one reason alone , either;
One thing which could be done, if a lot more people feeling the pain would volunteer some of their time in a concerted effort to try and run more shiduchim ; as has been said, professional shadchanim focus on their income, (and i have nothing against that); but if a large effort is done by volunteers who are not looking for money, then we can have a positive influence;
perhaps a 100% free website oriented to shiduchim, well written , well designed , so volunteer shdchanim can propose matches, and/or people can search for matches , and request volunteers to match them ; i would even have an eYente 🙂 thereDY: i was dating about 30 years ago, and my recollection is that the scene was very different than what it is now;
i have a married daughter, but i do recall the pressure we all felt when it was time for her to start;
it maybe not only anecdotal what i recall from 30 years ago, but do you have some real numbers to show that it was the case as you describe 30 years ago?
is the situation the same in EY? what about Europe; if someone really wants to get to the bottom of this, don;t we need real numbers?i do feel bad for any person not finding his/her shiduch;
what i don;t understand with this theory, is : when did the cycle start? why did it become so extreme only in recent times; i may be mistaken, but not my impression that this was the situation 30 years ago;
what about 150 years ago? if the concept is real, this situation should have come up way back in jewish history
maybe i am missing something, help me understand
i do wish everybody the best in finding an appropriate matchJoseph: with all due respect to R’ A.M. the description of the love between David and Yonasan doesn’t resemble what he is describing; their friendship is the one of love which doesn’t depend on anything; Rav Ovadia also describes that as the love between tzadikim and chachomim