Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
DY,
Whether they look at it like that or not, at the end of the day some girls won’t have any groom or husband. There will be no more guys left for them. And while your point of the order of what to compromise first is an interesting (and worthwhile) one, the age gap means that the sad fact is some girls no matter what won’t be able to get married (when the men run out), no matter if they even compromise everything.
So, yes, 22 is a bit early, and perhaps the more appropriate age is say 26-27 before a dose of reality needs to set it for the girls, but if we understand the age gap correctly, and if they don’t want to be left stranded to a life of being single, some of them will need to compromise both on the age issue and on the previously married issue. Both compromises will add more men to the pool for the girls who are stranded after the young guys are married.
Forget the first result, ZeesKite. You take up all the top ten results (and more)!
DY –
What about those girls who are left without any shidduch due to the age gap making there not enough grooms for every girl? (I know they are working on solutions for the age gap, but even those solutions acknowledge even if it helps, until then the problem will persist.) Shouldn’t they marry a much older (or even previously married) man rather than stay single their entire lives, as the age gap will make some girls be?
Actually, ZeesKite, if you Google ZeesKite *YOUR* profile is the first result!
Isn’t the Hebrew Institute of Riverdale the place where Sara Hurwitz is a “rabba”?
MBYHBHSFGO
Machon Beis Yaakov Hilda Birn High School For Girls Only
P.S. The best girl’s high school on this side of the Atlantic!
Pony sheitels, like long sheitels, seem designed for look-at-me-I’m-cute.
How would there be a difference between an almana/g’rusha/b’ula and an eishes ish, as far as whether it is Das Moshe or Das Yehudis?
The fact that you knew to even ask indicates you know that there is.
gavra: Are you referring to the b’ula question or the almana/g’rusha question?
Okay, so now we have Rav Yaakov Kaminetzky paskening like the Mishna Brurua.
As far as b’ula being required to cover her hair but a rov wouldn’t be so “heartless” to enforce following halacha, that doesn’t cut it. We don’t throw out halachas because one feels the halacha in “heartless”. Note, I am not saying there isn’t legitimate heteirim, but that can’t be it. In fact another poster above said she was actually *married* before she became a BT and Rav Shlomo Zalman said she could still leave her hair uncovered, even though not only was she a b’ula but she was actually previously married — albeit without kiddushin. So perhaps there are shittos that don’t hold of any halacha that purportedly requires a b’ula to cover her hair?
And does Rav Moshe address the issue of almanas and g’rusha’s covering their hair in the Igros Moshe? Or where does he, or other poskim, address it.
So far we have the following piskei din as far as when a woman needs to cover her hair:
Mishna Brura – from kiddushin
Rav Moshe – from the morning
Rav Shmuel Kaminetzky – from the yichud
Any more?
An unmarried b’ula needs to cover her hair. So if someone wasn’t frum and is a b’ula, when she becomes a BT she must immediately cover her hair (even though she isn’t, and never was, married)?
cherrybim: Can you cite any posek (preferably major but any for now) regarding your contention that some might matir an almana or g’rusha from covering her hair “if it will help her remarry”? Also, if you can, a posek who allows married women to let strange men see her hair in her house.
I couldn’t agree with 600kilobear more. Well said Kilo.
Once we’ve agreed that Chaza”l’s position is not universal, we can discuss who is or isn’t excluded.
Which (kind of) people, in your opinion, shouldn’t ever get married (that would not violate Chazal or halacha)?
It is also apparent in some of the meforshim that one can, through his choices, follow a path different than the bas kol.
Do the meforshim saying one can follow a different path than the bas kol say so approvingly or disapprovingly?
Daas, that’s true, but out of context. The above posters don’t wish to exclude only those incapable of getting married. Read between the leaves. I’m sure they won’t agree to limit their “unmarriageable material” to those incapable of getting married. Poster “Ofcourse”, above, is implying that picky daters are unmarriageable material. And just look at the other thread on Shmiras Einayim, for example, where you have posters advocating that men with a shmiras einayim problem not get married. These are surely not things Chazal excluded from who should get married (i.e. in Avos).
The Mishna in Avos about L’Chupa isn’t exclusionary.
If there are indeed so many men looking at women, I surely wouldn’t want to be one of those women being ogled, and would thus properly cover up to minimize such a thing.
And is saying men shouldn’t look really an excuse to wear a miniskirt?
Im thinking that there are so many single girls in or close to their thirties now. Fast forward twenty years, unless Moshiach comes or some miracle happens, girls who will still be single, will be walking around the frum neighborhoods with uncovered graying or dyed thinning hair (while by comparison, the bulk of their classmates will be blondes, redheads, and brunettes, in addition to having children and granchildren at their sides, now and then). What a sad thought. Until recently they were only a tiny percentage. Ouch.
There are a greater *percentage* of older girls unmarried today than 20 years ago???
Marriage is not for everyone.
Chazal say otherwise.
DY & veteran: I am referring to not just walking into a treif restaurant to use the restroom, but to actually sitting down in it and ordering food. The difference is profound.
zsdad: You said you sat down in a treif restaurant and ate their food (salad) with a party of people (or at least another person). That isn’t a case of going in to only use the restroom for a child.
If this ain’t, what IS Maris Ayin?
“Do you try to find a Minyan or just daven alone?”
Minyan.
“Do you bring food or buy on the road? (even if there is no kosher restaurants you can always find plenty of Kosher food at a grocery store with the OU on it)…”
Bring and buy OU when needed.
“What happens if you have to go out to dinner with a client and there is no Kosher restaurants around?”
I don’t understand the question. Going to a non-kosher restaurant is not an option.
“Shaking hands with the opposite sex in a business setting?”
No.
So there’s no shidduch crisis? What about all those older singles?
Hey, the guys (unlike the girls) have a loooong list of prospective girls desperate to go on a date with them. So these tzadikim bochorim want to give as many single desperate-for-a-date girls as possible a chance to have a date.
jk
mike: Even a bunch of girls in this thread (pumper, hacham, whatrutalkingabt, etc.) said they agree they’re IS a tznius problem in this area. I’m not sure how you missed that. Like mdd said, the skirts need to be longer. This is a strict halachic issue (that knees need to be always covered), not a community standard issue.
And an additional point — unrelated to above — is that even men who have the best shmiras einayim will still see the women in public.
Women need to be tznius and men need to have shmiras einayim. One doesn’t absolve the other. You can’t say I don’t have to be tznius since men should have shmiras einayim.
What is there to “fix”? Is there a problem with it?
Being “friendly” and being “friends” are two different things. The former is to be commended; the latter to be censured (in the context of opposite genders).
Many Gedolim were against marrying off a younger child first. Some Gedolim allowed it in extenuating circumstances. But at such a young age its hard to see extenuating circumstances. Especially considering the older daughters not being agreeable to it.
Mazal Tov!
(Do you think the fright from the Shavuous CO exposure in her house induced labor too quick??)
I think that according to what one does, one dresses differently. For example if one goes bike riding one should not go with the same skirt as when one goes walking. If one really has to go out in the car with a stright skirt, a practical idea would be to have or to make a wrapover that is left in the car ready to be used whenever necessary.
The problem with going out in a dress not compatible or long enough for a car or minivan and all other daily activities, and leaving something in the car to cover you when you get in and out, is that you will be stuck if you go into another persons vehicle where you don’t have the wrapover. Are you not going to travel because your clothing will then make you untznius?
What is a concubine?
pumper:
I don’t understand what the misunderstanding is. You’ve said that pencil (straight) skirts cannot always cover the knees when getting in or out of a car or especially a minivan (or even just sitting in a car). A skirt that cannot keep the knees covered at all times cannot be worn. That would eliminate pencil skirts.
pumper: Instead of “usually” being very makpid, make it “always”. Also, if it needs to be 3 inches above the ankles, then that’s what’s needed. And if straight skirts can’t always do the job, then they shouldn’t be worn.
observanteen: Even so there will be times you will unfortunately not pull it enough and not even realize it. Like mdd said, you need a longer skirt.
observanteen: Hoping to pull the skirt every time it is too short is a poor excuse since there WILL be times you forger. You need a skirt that never needs to be pulled or covered to keep you tznius.
okay then: And hoping no one is looking is really bad. You should always expect people will see.
pumper: I know you said not to give that answer – but it is the only answer. If you asked what is 1+1, but you specified don’t answer me “2”, the answer is still 2.