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Thanks R’ Jo and curious! I got to learn two extra times tonight 🙂
The shidduchim thing is a great thing to have on here… cant even describe how many times I’ve been put into those matzavim while ppl were inquiring abt shidduchim! Thank you for posting it. And I am so happy that I am not the only one posting halachos on here cuz I pashut dont always remember to post it 🙂
ok I was nice tonight.. I was really tempted to be obnoxious to someone tonight and I held back cuz I said I wouldn’t want them to do that thing to me and this week the middah is being nice so I didn’t and I am extrememly proud of myself, thank you! And they have NO IDEA what I almost did hehe 🙂
How abt we take syrians idea in a different way. We should get a notebook and in it write down each day that week things we did to fit into the midah of the week like for this week every page will have things we did nice for ppl. next week could write abt anivus that we worked on each day etc. as for a vort on tikun midos check out my vort on dvar torah page (i have no oclue how to link it to this page)
Asdf- aww… you were so nice and I am thnking you once again. now you can be nice and gice me a wake up call cuz I am so tired from going to sleep every night at 2 in the am cuz this ridiculous coffee addiction with lots of sugar and milk!!!
you can also be nice and take care of all the things I gotta do. All others that want to help and be nice- please join. i’ll be the chessed of the day 😉 j/k.
what language is that?? by the way… once we are into games… is anyway as nebuchly addicted to spider solitaire as I am??? Help! it used to be minesweeper but now I get sick when I see the game! now when the internet is slow i play game after game of spider solitaire and it has like no gain to it!
you wish I have ice cream righ now or I would make it in a zippee!!!! please can have some… It’lll finish off my melave malka!!! you got my stomach enzymes going now….
;(
on that note i think we should allow him to dress like a bachur and talk like one too 😉
lets stick to the first one and then we will go veiter each week.
ok— I guess i’ll have to be nice to s/o tomoro… shucks, I hate being nice 😉 j/k
psh… the yeshiva stuff is rubbing off 😉 nice picture… now give him a bop on the head and make lots of ’em
Try grill cheese… bread ketchup and cheese in the toaster oven,….. yum! Enjoy!
Milkshakes??? did someone say milkshakes??? i’ll be right over for my share! whats your address again??????
Interesting Jay Matt… Thanks! I also heard a pshat on that Rashi today… but I didn’t catch the answer cuz it wasn’t clear.
Heard interesting vort today in shul (if you heard it you may have been at the same shul…) That we are in this world for tikkun Hamidos. A person that isn’t mesaken their middos raos really ends up losing out and missing out in the world.
We see from the makkos, by tzefardeya there was just one frog. The mitzriim got angry and hit it and more came out. the more they got angry the more they hit and the more kept coming out yet they just made it worse!!! They did NOT get the pt and stop. When someone steps on your toe are you gonna make a whole big to do about it and scream and yell and just get hurt more back and fort fighting? or are you gonna realize it’s not worth it and be mesaken thet middah of kaas and be the winner in the end??
Gut vach!
(Wow… i feel so chashuv… I gave too vortlach in 2 days…:) )
I missed the party sorry… I didnt even have time to eat my full fat full sugar coffee yogurt (no joke I am starving but whatever. Came to say good shabbos and toodaloo- gotta run Good Shabbos. Party’s over friends till after shabbos!
The dvar Torah is li’iluy nishmas Rebbetzin Feldberger. May we all take a moment today to be sensitive to at least one person (as the dvar torah requests) as a zechus for he neshama. I was happy today, now I am sad 🙁 but I think its allowed for now.
Li’iluy Nishmas HaTzadekes Rebbetzin Cheryl Feldberger…. Hashkafa lesson of the day.
ppl tend to think that if I dont speak L”H I will have nothing left to say and wont have any friends! Punkt fakert! When you are careful wih your speech you will see that your conversations will become deeper and more meaningful as well as profound and will invigorate friendships and relationships!
HALACHA: Rechilus- You may not say rechilus abt a child. 10 yr old Moishy has a fight with friend Yanky Berger. Do NOT go tell Mrs. Berger that you saw Moishy hit her son because she will go and may cause undue harm to Moishy etc getting a whole family fight out of this!
Mod…. yuck! coffee yogurt without sugar just aint coffee yogurt, I dont care what! I’ve tried em all and there aint nuthin like the real stuff. I will bring regular coffee yogurt but if you want I can bring a strainer for you to strain out the sugar 😉
Hey, whats a party without bklyn???? We gotta get her back! Moish help!
I thnk I missed s/t. where did brooklyn go….??????????????
Since I don’t have time to go on YWN on Erev Shabbos (I do try to keep the Sabbath thing… ya know and there ain’t much time when I get home) I will post now and please put it up for me tomoro. (Ahhh I miss doing this stuff- Geshmak!)
Parashas Va’era –
By R’ Pam Zt”l Sefer Darchei Noam
(shortened into my own words)
Paroh told Moshe Rabbeinu and Aharon Hacohen that they can serve their G-d inside the land. The request was for B.Y. to be able to leave to the Midbar and bring karbanos there. Paroh nixes this and says you gotta stay here and do it in Mitzraim. So Moshe Rabeinu answers back- Sorry, we can’t do it here b/c the Mitriyim will find it disgusting to see us slaughter their gods in front of them. (They served Sheep as gods).
Amazing! M”R risked angering Paroh (and possibly his life) because he didn’t want to cause pain or anguish to the horrible and insensitive Mitzriyim! Al achas kama vekama we have to be careful not to cause tzaar to other Yidden!
>>>>>>>>>> Lesson for us
How many times do we get so involved with our own personal wills that we forget to care about how the other guy feels?
–Younger chevra, ever been dancing and k-nocking at a chasuna so much that we don’t realize we are knocking over and stepping on all the ppl older than us?
–Ever been so eager to get to the front of the line that you don’t realize you are actually pushing ppl??
— How abt this one… (oh my I’ve been on both ends) Ever met a person that hs so much to say and doesn’t let the other person get a word in edgewise? (mamish just happened to me today! I wanted to say my point already but by the time I could say it, it wasnt shayach anymore!)
***** So many times a day we can stop what we’re doing and think, “Am I REALLY doing a mitzvah now or am I not being sensitive and rubbing my mitzvah in someone else’s face and not being sensitive to them and their pain. Let us learn from Moshe Rabeinu who was sensitive to Mitzriyim and chose one minute a day to be sensitive to any person we come in contact with that day. *****
Good Shabbos Everybody 🙂
(BTW this is so changed from the text i dont know if its fair to even say it B’shem R’Pam Zt”l… sorry)
was that you asdf??? I came home and my car was clean from the snow!!!!!!!!!! (as you would do). Man, you ARE talented! shkoyach R’ Asdfghjkl;’!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol
If I knew how to post a picture on here of the massive lizard like cratures that I caught on my phone and on my camera I would just to show how ” ma rabu” they are… coolest creatures that look like mini dinosaurs! walk right along the sidewalk…. as for the little geccos… ahhh nothing like opening the window and having a teeny lizard jump away in fright! 🙂
oops… at 2:45 am I would not make a good mod… I just read my post and i spelled somethings wrong that sound quite funny 🙂 I meant a light weight bed not a wet bed 😛 and I also meant a bed and not “bad”. oh squeak… it don’t need to be queen size as long as its long enough for me (Hey in EY days it was barely long enough nor wide enough so I had to learn to sleep on anything!)
For all those who said Moshiach… I was thinking of saying that but then I thought, hey are we supposed to be aiming for “moshiach” or I we supposed to be aiming to do Razon Hashem and as a result Hashem will bring moshiach. we are not living for Moshiach (contrary to popular belief!) we are living to serve Hakadosh Baruch Hu and bring the world to perfection as He deems it and clinging to Him and part of that process is Moshiach. Yes its an incentive but it’s not the top goal and we have torealize that and start deserving it.
oh man, you gotta have lunch when I am busy… maybe I’ll bring a coffee yogurt and step in for two seconds….
good idea. bring 2. make mine sugar free. thanks :o) YW Moderator-72
Not stam Moish! Or shall we call you R’ Moish?! Its really a great d’var torah…!! Are you on for every thursday? 😉 (hehe, don’t kill me for the suggestion) my name says it all- shkoyach to you and e/o else. maybe I should do a dvar torah for tomorrow… I havent done one yet… what a shame.
Your on call for tomorrow. Don’t let us down! YW Moderator-72
If I could have anything it would be a fold up light wet bed that I could carry in my pocket and put to use daily…. no I take that back… i think I am learning to sleep without the bad in all postions! ok then I guess I would want…. um…. ooohhh this is hard…. I would want to have the chachma to always do the right thing!! (no more sticking a foot in my mouth… its getting sore!)
What thing could I not live without? My bed… oh we took care of that, I guess my true happiness.
Wow Moish…. consider yourself the new CR artist… sorry curious you got a pal there! I still cant figure out how to make my letters bold (I know if I had the patience to read the html thread I could get it but there are too many other exciting things to catch up on.) Well Moish how about a good game of soccer on your cast free leg?????
Mods what in earth are you doing up at this hour??? I thought I was the only insomniac in the CR now!!!! I guess you are tired cuz you posted me two times 🙂 Did you drink too much coffee????
One more thing… for all those of you that want to see ppl married so you give advice like keep going out or ignore your feelings its not a good reason… you may be the cause of the divorce crisis. I’m sorry to say it, but sometimes Hashem sends us msgs that “no this is not for you” and of course we have to go to Daas Torah, but sometimes it’s cold feet and other times its really not. Be mechabed that and help the person figure out. Dont just unvalidate their feelings altogether.
time
I will admit, sometimes, the person does need a good kick in the pants to go thru with it but be sensitive and understanding that dating is a confusing time for many and you need to clarify if there is an anxiety.
I want to share something that may help in regards to asking shailos.
I had a situation (without details of course) where I wasn’t sure if I should continue with the shidduch. I had parents, shadchan, friends etc involved (which by the way not a good idea b/c I had everyone giving me contradicting opinions) until finally I said out with everyone else… I need to speak to a Rav THAT DEALS WITH THESE THINGS VERY OFTEN as well as KNOWS ME to some extent that he can give a good eitzah. And so, I called up this Rav flustered and a bit emabarrassed and tried to recap e/t in a not so long phone conversation. He gave me eitzah, but I wasn’t content with it and I felt that he didn’t chap the matziv. I followed some of his advice and was back in touch with him. When I spoke to him the second time, apparently I had given a much bigger picture where he could help me MUCH MORE b/c he saw more details and things became clearer to him. Suffice it to say he helped me through and helped me to be aware of what I needed to be aware of and make appropriate decisions. I also went to Daas Toirah for a bracha and extra eitza and you can’t go wrong I dont care what when you follow the psak of gedolei Hador. They see things that we dont.
If you made it thru the story great. My point being… go to a rav… ASK and GET EITZAH but be clear and repeat the situation and give as many details as needed to get the proper eitzah and then you With Siyata Dishmaya you cant go wrong
First and foremost the reason that there is a shidduch crisis is because it is the retzon Hashem and He obviously wants us to take several messages and get closer to Him through it as with all tzaros.
As for the asking a shaila… Rabbanim are human and can make mistakes however, they daven and we should daven to that their eitza should be the best eitzah for us and HKB”H should guide them. That being said never be afraid to go and ask. in ANY siuation. We can’t rely on our own objective feelings, especially girls b/c girls/women get completely wrapped in the emotionality of the situation and there goes all logic out the window. And even for the guys, logic isn’t always the answer, sometimes there’s an extra bitachon and emunas chachamim involved.
more in the next post…
Be friendly and kind to ppl. Even if you don’t know them. Belive me, a kind remark goes a long way… I have been on both ends.
If someone is stuck on the road- don’t just pass if you have time to help.
If I see a bus trying to pull out or a car, I try to let them in front of me
When parking, I almost always try to pull up all the way to make room for another car. Thank you so much to those who do it for me too!
ALSO>>> very important… when doing chesed for ppl, do it in a way that they don’t feel like a nebuch situation. It’s hard to take chesed too. I recently had to take favors from ppl and I felt so uncomfy yet in some cases they made it like I was doing them the favor (not fakely but in a real way) and other times I felt like thanks but I dont need your favor.
Be friendly and kind to ppl. Even if you don’t know them. Belive me, a kind remark goes a long way… I have been on both ends.
If someone is stuck on the road- don’t just pass if you have time to help.
If I see a bus trying to pull out or a car, I try to let them in front of me
When parking, I almost always try to pull up all the way to make room for another car. Thank you so much to those who do it for me too!
ALSO>>> very important… when doing chesed for ppl, do it in a way that they don’t feel like a nebuch situation. It’s hard to take chesed too. I recently had to take favors from ppl and I felt so uncomfy yet in some cases they made it like I was doing them the favor (not fakely but in a real way) and other times I felt like thanks but I dont need your favor.
thanks asdf, you da MAN! It’s the car sitting outside my house covered in snow for the past week! Can you come save it before the next alternate side???? pleeeeze!!!!!!!! I beg you! I may need chaverim if you dont help!
Mods… what time do you go to bed????????????? I know I check this site late sometimes and I don’t understand how everyone else functions especially mods who do it nightly!!!!!!!
once you are out in the snow curious and asdf and moish and Joseph… can you please clean off my car and get it started??? it’s buried under and you just made it worse now with all your snowballs!!!! (no joke abt the cleaning it tho:] )
Moish… that was real brain power!!!!! Gr8 idea 🙂
As for the personal thing… I do agree that it is remotely close to a chat room (what do I know from these things?? not a clue… but my understanding of it) especially b/c ppl share that they are of the opposite gender young and old I dunno, it kind of bothers me. I think we should keep this to the cold facts and opinions with out the chummy chummy getting to know ya buddy and really know you!
my vote of the best thing to do in Miami is sta inside and enjoy the heavy duty AC! No joke!
Dont forget to go for chalav yisrael Ice cream in Hollywood (10 min from NMB)
be sure to tak a walk outside- you’ll find all kind of interesting looking creatures. Sounds weird, but if yougo to the canal in NMB at the right time of day and drop bread crumbs… a TON of birds from a different world come around you to get the bread…. mamish a sight!
I dunno about you but all the Goldbergs I know I would want to keep up with cuz they are beautiful Torahdik ppl with the right hashkafos… pick on the Jones and the smiths… and leave the heilege families at peace.
How to not keep up with the jones… pashut- realize what is important in life and that life will go on contrary to common belief even if you dont have the same ritzy show as your neighbor. deal with it and be proud of it!
asdf….. what up with “man” at the end of all your comments?? Are you proud of the prez or sumthin? 😉
curious… interesting. i wonder how this applies to ppl seeking info on a shidduch of s/o who had a broken engagement or divorce. does it discuss that?
yo pashuteh yid, welcome back! where did you fly off to?
oh my favorite topic… 😉
Honestly, you cant totally blame the shadchunim b/c they deal with so many ppl and have lives besides being shadchunim. That is why either you, your parent, or someone who is there looking out for your shidduchim, should pleasantly but assertively be on the shadchun’s case. Call Up and remind them to work on things. update them. ASk them is new things came up or if they have new ppl for you to meet. I am a BIG talker cuz don’t ask… but l’maase this is what they say works.
Also, if you make yourself sound like a nebuch, they will think you are one, if you clearly show them you are not, they will clearly not think you are (except a few exceptions… and boo on them)
Sorry I disappeared for a bit.. it happens well I am back for now at least.
7 conditions of toeles. Sometimes you think you have to repeat “lashon hara” because you know that Mr. Joe is harming your freind. But wait!!! You may only repeat the info if ALL 7 conditions are met. (See Guard your tongue by R’ Pliskin P.115-118)
#1 You know absolutely positively that it is 100% (and no less) true.
(that means you didn’t just hear abt it from your cousins uncle’s washing machine’s sock’s neighbor)
#2 You know for a fact that what is being done is wrong. (you must find out and weigh the matter carefully for it may be permissible)
#3 You must first rebuke the evildoer before repeating the info. If you know for a fact that he won’t listen and it may even make matters worse than you can avoid doing this as long as you repeat the info in front of 3 people. (if that will also cause more harm than good then you may forego this too.)
#4 The information you are repeating must be absolutely true to the details without exaggeration whatsoever.
#5 You may not intend to derive pleasure from repeating the info and you are forbidden to speak against the wrongdoer if you are motivated by personal dislike. (there is more to this so look in the book.)
#6 Use another method other then repeating negative information whenever possible. Meaning if you can get the point across or mission accomplihed by other means than bad mouthing the culprit then you must do so.
# 7 Punishment must be in accordance with Torah Law. If by you tellin over this information you will cause the wrongdoer a greater loss than the Torah requires of him than you can not repeat it.
There are many more rules regarding these halachos and condtions and you are bet off learning them and chazering them over and over as well as asking a competent Rav when such a shaila arises.
WELCOME AMES!!! glad to join you into the CR fam
just get back on track brook… put a phone reminder in!
jphone…. you da man! Squeak… are cameras enough?
I guess I am little har sinai… humble and low… 😉 (biggest anav of all)
I’ll be happy to post the 7 conditions soon IY”H if I am able too. Just had a really late night and didnt have a chance to check the CR till 2:45 am!
well I guess to quote you quoting myself “Ma Pleeeezure” 🙂 Hey I think that’;; be my new quote. i really am sleeping by the way qwerty. You’re imagining that I am here 🙂
it seems to me YW CR is having some tech difficulties tonight… refua shleima