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I havent followed the whole thread but I did want to mention that my mother just told me about the R’ Arush books (Garden of Gratitude and one on Chinuch that she is reading) and they really help change perspective and acceptance of heart breaking life situations as well as possibly helping change the situation.
My parents have dealt with multiple issues from Yiddeshkeit tzaros to behavioral problems and offensive attitudes and my mother found R’ Arush to be comforting and life altering. Some people may find it simple (she likes the hebrew versions better) but at the end of the day if you internalize what it says you can actually realize why these things happen to us and how to deal with them and be content and give love that will be accepted back to your kids.
Its not magic but what used to be a strained relationship with a few of the kids in the family is now a close tight loving and accepting one from all of them on dif levels. And each one is growing in their own way at their own pace.
Hatzlacha!
I wont consider myself a regular anymore cuz I’m way too busy to spend my day here… but Ive been here from way back when where I used to be addicted ;P
I just want to comment that I helped out the Parnassah Expo team last year and that I personally know so many people that got jobs through it. In fact I bumped into people months (and I mean months) later that had forgotten to mention to anyone that their job came through the expo. So everyone can assume whatever they want but being involved in the klal work, I was able to see first hand ppl that were helped. Unfortunately thousands more are in need and we have to all do our hishtadlus but the keys are in Hashems hands.
As for this year, they are working to help not just job seekers but another section of Parnassah – keeping the business within the frum community.
They are running to programs – YES there is a program with a job fair. However the meadowlands is huge and they took the opportunity to make a program for existing businesses to fill the floor and network everyone together to help businesses know what services there are for them.
So if you are a job seeker there is a program for you.
And if you are a businessman – there is a program for you.
And its up to the businesses in our communities to join on both ends to help contribute to this beautiful gathering of klal Yisrael.
Looks like you got plenty of advice so not sure if you want mine too but here’s the scoop from the good old shkoyach.
Rule #1- If you dont have lots of money to spend… go on craigslist. We got so man thing in GREAT condition from there and spent close to nothing. Find people that used it for their 1 or 2 kids and arent planning on more. Make sure to see everything and anything before you buy it. We got clothes also – mostly like new or new – tons of gorgeous things for a joke of a price!
Carseat- we found the chicco keyfit to be the most padded and comfortable and yet affordable. You can get 2 bases and it snaps in and out of both cars. My baby lasted in it till abt a year. He is very tall and really started growing out of it at abt 10 months but still managed till abt 13mos.
We got the Stroller to go along with car seat. The carseat snaps into the stroller and you can use it without the car seat once they are big enough to sit in it and see the world. Also can be used to lay back and lay the baby in it tho I like to pad it with soft blanket when did that.
Stroller drawback- its a bit heavy and takes space. Try it out in store.
Swing – got a Graco swing – was pretty decent. The battery cover went missing and they sent me a new part no problem. I wish I got swing earlier cuz by the time I got it baby only fit in for a few months.
bassinet- we got kolcraft with music mobile and vibrator it was really very good. (aside from annoying song by a lady but you dont have to push that button.) The brakes on the wheels werent awesome and like to stay in locked position but that could be just our luck.
bathtub – no such luck. I had one that had a slope in it to hold the baby up but he hated the bath so he just kicked and screamed… somehow he learned to love the bath tub and offering bath time is like offering ice cream!
Diapers- contrary to popular belief you DONT need to buy huggies or pampers! I got Luvs, huggies, pampers, target, walmart and baby leaked through all of them. Some ppl love the luvs – they were the worst for me. huggies and pampers were compareable to target brand so being that the case, we stick to the cheaper option which is target. if you do want to get huggies or pampers – GO TO target – you can find major sales there on the cases.
Bibs- they come in handy with leaky bottles and jar food
Bottles- everyone goes nuts about the AVENT bottles. Baby sitter made us get also. They have one maila for a babysitter- it feeds the baby quickly. It has one maila that is really a MAJOR drawback: it has a leak guard ring. this is annoying because some of the leak guard rings dont fit properly and all the milk spills all over anyway. The rings that do fit nicely are great… but if you lose them – you’re doomed! You cant use the bottle without the guard ring or you end up with 90% of milk on babys onesie and 10% in his mouth!
I found the NUK orthodontic bottles to be the best. They have an air spot for air to go out when sucking so baby gets less gas and lied alot.
passifiers- docs and nurses tell you not to- DONT listen. It is the biggest lifesaver and you’d rather baby use the passy as a passy instead of Mom as a passy!
Pump- Medella pump in style is the “in” pump from what I hear. Many insurance cover and many dont. If they dont… Do not despair if you qualify for WIC (which you should be getting if you are low income as it is now! Important to get your nutrients and they pay for it!) WIC gave us an AMEDA electric pump and we were very happy with it. It takes patience to get the whole pumping thing straight but its great. If you dont get enough milk… DO not worry. You can speak to a lactation consultant and there is nothing wrong with supplementing with formula – just watch out for kashrus on dif types. If chalav stam is an issue – you can use soy or J&J has a chalav yisrael run of similac as well as sunrise brand which is WAY cheaper.
Nursing pillows-The Boppy was a LIFESAVER tho I dont know about others. I also got a pillow for my bed thats shaped like the back of a couch… hence turned bed into comfortable place to lean back when feeding baby.
Recliner – a Must whether its a rocking chair or a full recliner but great for feedings.
Nursing sheilds – nobody tells you about them but it saved me many moments of tears when I was in agony and it taught baby how to suck correctly.
Nursing pads- I found nuk disposable breathable to be great… evryone has dif prefernce…. you’ll have to try out what works for you.
highchair – we got safety 1st reclining and moveable height and baby LOVES it. Mother in law calls it his “throne”. It has removeable tray also good for cleaning (and for milchig fleishig!)
nail clippers nose bulb etc- many hospitals give it to you along with other stuff but if not you can always get in target.
Changing table – If you have no room for changing table you can always get changing pads that are washable and use them on the floor or bed. make sure to get a few in case of lucky leaky times.
co-sleeper- When I went to visit parents someone lent us a co sleeper that attaches to the bed and it was really great.
Pack n’ play we use the even flo brand but you can get graco also and if you will use it as a crib for a while I suggest you get the plush mattress to stick in. I didnt know abt it till after I got a crib and my poor baby slept on the hard mattress.
Cribs- they cost ALOT but get a good solid one. Watch for recalls! You can get on craigslist also but sometimes the price is almost worth it to get new. The jewish stores sometimes have some nice deals and nice sales.
And most important- get ready to ROB a Bank!!! Having kids cost lots of money and you just gotta do what you gotta do!
I definitely would look at it as small flag but wouldnt drop it like that! Maybe he was uncomfortable to say about quitting on a first or second date not sure as to how you would take it and his coping mechanism was to talk is if everything was regular.
What is important in relationships is communication so if you have no other reason to say no, I would say go out again, AND be bold and bring it up… you need to tell him that you know he isnt working and that you need him to be open with you and honest with you. you can see how he reacts to that and see other important parts of his personality. I can understand why he would have felt uncomfortable – not that he was right but its not necessarily a red flag – tho look out for more red flags.
Oh…. way back when… I used to be addicted to YWN and used to comment on all the news sites and lo and behold they decided to start a coffee room… at first I wasnt into it. But then i decided to be… and joined and became one of the coffee room zomnies that never slept… and watched as more and more mods joined 😉 remember when we were all guessing who’s a mod??
I realized I was so addicted when I started asking for help from fellow CR ppl to clean off the snow from my buried car (is asdf still on here anymore???) then I realized I was in a bubble that had to pop and so I ran for dear life from the CR with an occasional here and there.
Every so often (like once in 3 months I check up on it but… )
Remember when the dvar torah page and rule page and shmiras halashon pages started???
wait… so how did I find the coffee room again?
How about the palm?
I wish I could get bentching, sidur, jewish calendar, zmanim, etc as apps on my phone… but i see the apps are all bing made for the fancy phones.. Im not that updated yet in life!
Many friends of mine have been discussing for the past 3 weeks about the fact that they are dreading Pesach… it is very hard.
SENSITIVITY at a normal level is really all that is wanted.
They want to see your kids… they dont want it in their face.
They want to be treated normal…
They DONT want to be stuck babysitting your kids or doing all the work arounf the house cuz all the mommy and tatty siblings are busy with their kids and cant help. They dont want to be stuck cleaning up after you and your kids b/c of the same reason.
They want to be acknowledged and not made nebuch.
whatever you do… DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS about their personal life and if they have been to a Dr and anything like that. Trust me- if they want to share it they will. My policy in life (not just infertility but in all sitch) is I dont ask questions abt ur life- but I am here to listen and be a shoulder to lean on if you need to talk.
My sister married many years no kids, got pregnant and lost the kid in 6th month, we all wanted to know info and be there for her but we were careful not to probe. and she confided in me that the worst feeling she has is when ppl come and bring it up, or give her hugs and mussar and “chizuk” and all the stuff she didnt ask for. Just move on and have a regular conversation and thats it!
If you are a sibling YOUNGER than your older sibling of IF and have kids, your sibling doesnt hate you (prob. loves you) but it is very hard. Still be sensitive yet dont hide things from them. give them the respect of an older sibling.
Have a good Yom tov! Hope nobody has to dread Yomtov this year!
Original Poster— it is very kind of you to be concerned and ask so that you can be there for your sibling! Kol Hakavod!
Lakewood Kosher Pizza on Clifton and 1st makes one of the best pizzas I have ever tasted!
Also, the old kol tuv pizza at the capitol… I forgot the new name but new owners and new recipe make pretty good pizza too! Tho the truth is I must say that I like all the pizzas I have tasted in the Lkwd places!
oh… I am so hungry!!!!!!!!
Just from my dating experiences… you can feel very lost or confused when in it… So many times feeling not sure. Nice guy and nice girl but how do I know is for me? Thats what ppl feel. And shadchanim push… try again if no reason not to go out. sometimes they are right… and unfortunately sometimes not. Ive been pushed… almost too far but BH was able to suddenly see clearer before it was too late. Others are not so fortunate. BH when I found my spouse it was just right- even with a few ups and downs along the way but I learned never to judge bc it is just hard to know what you need and know who the other psn is!
Don’t see much of a discussion here-guess I’ll have to give my 2 cents.
I definitely have tried to google my name before, however I didnt find much- only boring info about some stranger out there that stole my name 😉
I’ve gotten shidduch calls about friends- and I almost fell off my chair the first time someone told me they googled the potential shidduch and had questions on what they found!Maybe they had the wrong person.
On google, I found some nasty info about a relative with a not so common last name and found someone else carrying his name is well with rather strange info. I was glad when a picture came up and saw it was someone else.
If I ran away but sneak in everynow and then for some good old gashmi do I get 74 – thats Ayin Dalid—- anyone need an Eid? Or is it ad olam? or “Dah” *know* that really I better get out of the CR now or I will have broken my big rule!!!!!! 🙂
Shkoyach- hi again to all!
oy vey! no dvar torah in a week!! Someone do something fast!
asdf….. ah hah! It’s been awhile!
uh oh- my five minutes on YW are up!!! 🙂
Well then my dear friend… I’ll be expecting a text from you cuz I iz clueless!
Married life is a Baruch Hashem beautiful, challenging, inspiring, and a learning experience. Thanks for askin.
Noitall- welcome back then but i better scidaddle cuz I am not allowing myself mor than five min here! 🙂
hey noitallmr, at least Im nota total strander and you rememba me! :)Welcome back- I better not get addicted to this thing again cuz i’ve been clean from YWNCR for about a year or so! 😉 wheres asdf and all the good old fellows?
And I am really glad to see how missed i am!!!! 🙂
It’s been a mighty long time since I’ve been on the shores of the coffee room but I just wanted to pop by and say hello!
Ive gotten married BH and accomplished a bit while I took a break from the coffee room but thought I would pop by to say hi. The coffee room is nice and friendly and I miss it but I realized how much I can accomplish when i dont waste tons of time on the computer… 🙁
Hi to all my good old buddies out there and Hi to all the new ppl who dont know I exist- and maybe one day i will come visit again!!!
Glad to see its a happenin place!
~Shkoyach 🙂
Just wanted to wish everyone a Chag kasher Vesameach and a Gut Yom Tov! I miss it here.. But BH I am keeping my self busy with more important things (at least I try!)
Enjoy pesach with relatives and friends and don’t forget it is a zman to clean out the chametz from with in us too! Please be careful not to keep the kedusha with in this Yom Tov and not chalila use it as a zman to be nichshul.
Good Y”T.
Shkoyach 🙂
should we be saying a yehi ratzon for this everyday for anything specific?
Asdf… I am trying to work on not wasting time still so i barely ever check the cr anymore but punkt tonight i skimmed through and was so touched that you at least missed me. well i trust you will do a good job running this place without me tho maybe you be smart and follow my lead… have a great shab ev1 missya
we can play priorities and see which things are most important in our life and which things we would give up in place of the other things 😉
btw- asdf- this “man” thing is making me meshiggers- (even tho i am not really around to see it right;) I really amen’t) but please, spare me. and good night. (ps… why do i have a feeling you are ALOT younger than most peeps think you are here????
We really need to be happy with what we have… And I am happy to say I was zoicheh today to be able again to stop myself in my tracks. When we get 100 we want 200- So someone dear to me had given me assistance today and I was hoping they could help me out also for something in the future. At first I was disappointed when they said they really cant and then i said, hey wait a second- they just put themselves out (time and money) for me today- am i a loser that I will ignore it?!? And it really set my perspective straight. thanks e/o for the chizuk in this thread of working on ourselves to be better ppl!! I hope e/o else is taking it to heart as much as I am!
at least someone misses me! aw… thanks. I am here for a few minutes- so hi e/o and bye. going to check out the DT… Gnite 🙂
thanks to e/o for updating! sorry… I dont spend enough time on here to do it anymore
don’t know where my post went… I’ll try again. HI e/o miss ya. trying not to waste time (really!) just want to say hi and thank you for the midah and DTs which I check when I havea few min! hope you dont miss me too much (as if you noticed I was gone in the first place 😉 Keep up the great work. ok… too much time already! toodaloo!
Thanks for the DT!!! so nice… well really trying to work on the first week middah and also this week as it seems is being happy with what you have. While I was davening today in Shema Kolenu I decided to ask Hashem to help me be happy with what I have. I decided that its not human to only be able to on my own and the only One that can help me is HKBH so why not ask Him first! And so I was in a happy mood today… and BH Beli ayin Hara, it hasn’t gone away yet! Even tho I had reasons to feel otherwise!!
Just wanna say hi…. miss the cr… but working on not wasting time. checkin the midah and the DT so still with ya guys! Enjoy without me. Bye for now!
I am really not here… you dont see me cuz I am on a not wasting time mode, but i check a few things a day… and i couldn;t control myself- I think moderating has been letting some not “yeshiva shprach” pass thru! ok Bye e/o. no more time wasting. I’ll miss you.
I think that the timewasting thing is way too big to start with but no fighting right?!?!? so then I guess i better scram from YWN coffee roomso I dont waste time! aaaah!
Should I be insulted that you just called me a bubby??? DOes your bubby by some chance use shprach like “oh man!” cuz mine sure doesn’t! the closest thing she’d get to that is OY VAIY! But yup Moish… i will tell you the truth I am your savta… 🙂
as for asdf… you will have to suffer with it cuz you got me started and once someone get s shkoyach started… the rest of the world has gotta deal!
I can;t believe I went from being an intelligent hashkafically opinionated commentor to a quacko jokester playing mind games on this site! (Man!) I gotta get back to focusing on imporant stuff!
Make an extra party for the girls that get to deal with the freezer unofficially opening 😉 A gutten Chodesh e/o! May it be a month of simcha, shalom, bracha, hatlzacha, parnassa, vechol tuv! And a zeman Geula!
random question…. why do I waste my time going through all the threads till unmentionable hours (besides the fact that I can only usually start reading them after midnight)????????????????????????????
I have an idea… we all can either pick our own one towork on each week or the Mods will TELL us which middah it will be that week. (or they can nominate a CR member to set it out) cuz this thread is so beautiful yet messy that I dont know where to start and will prob give up all cuz I can tdo e/o amazing ideas at once and I cant pick which one cuz e/o is saying s/t else
nu…. mods… what do u have to say??
sounds great! I nominate mdlevine to be in charge of giving out what midah everone should work on. He seems to be amazing at doing chessed.
Moderator-55
I am looking at my keyboard.. either I’m nuts, or there is no backtick by the 1, or both (maybe dont answer)
I have a laptop if that makes a dif. any explanations??? OMG I just looked at the clock… ouch! I need another wake up call— someone did a bad job this morning cuz I had no missed wake up calls!
qwerty, what in heaven does that say???
and i guess nobody shares in my symapthey of spider solitaire addiction. 🙁
I hope you guys at least daven for yourselves that you dont ever have to deal with that page that “doesnt apply to you!” your davening now can help for later.
Moish… man, you better not marry a Yekke 😉 Go chassidish maybe then you have till after Maariv– the next day 🙂 (that was said as a tease to Moishe’le not as anything against chassidish ppl) oops- just called you s/t probably your bubby calls you- dont kill me! it was a slip! (I tend to add ‘le on at the end when I tease ppl)
It definitely is better to put it on by the zman, but just like when I’m davening and lose track of what where and when they tell me (figuratively) to chop arein whatever is left with kavana, so too, if you missed the zman, chop arein whatever you got left in the day. So you’re good man, you’re good!
(adsf, I can’t stand this, now you got my brain saying Man at the end of every sentence! Oh man!)
Mod-72- when it’s 95 degrees and up I beg for the chilling ice weather. And then when I am outside freezing the nerves off my bones… I beg for Florida! The grass is always greener….! But L’maisah- a bit of cold air don’t do no harm and it helps keep the shvitz off so 🙂 bundle up (talking to myself) and be happy!
who makes better cholent??? men or ladies??? whose responsibility SHOULD it be in the house?? 😉
some hold it has to be before shkia. Ask YOUR rav!:)
nossond… very interesting… I like that. Where did you get it from?
Syrian, I like your devar torah too! I had a few situations where i remember thinking that Hashem should protect me please because I was on my way to a mitzvah and was close to getting harmed or stopped etc… and I just kept thinking this. It occurred to me that maybe my zechusim dont equal enough to the other “stuff” and who says I deserve protection etc… but BH without details, even in close calls, BH I was spared and able to carry out the mitzva. The power of a malach for a zechus is unbeleivably powerful! Thanks for the reminder!
If i missed a day… do I make it up retroactively??? (meaning say it twice the next day???) I should really ask a rav not a blog but if anyone else knows please share!