screwdriverdelight

Yes, it’s called Jewish music.

http://hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=14678&st=&pgnum=21&hilite=

I don’t know where the story comes from, but it is said that the Gra, who was a b’chor, used to be podeh himself from every Kohein he met, until after he met a Kohein named Rappaport whose yichus he trusted and he stopped being podeh himself after that.

offbeat2, I’m not sure why it took you all the way until that entry to deem the chinese auction ridiculous. It’s a ridiculous chinese auction for a ridiculous organization and you shouldn’t be bringing an example from them.

I personally never heard of a shadchan charging to meet you. And if they do, it makes sense not to go meet them. The shadchan indeed owes it to no one to meet with them but that doesn’t mean that every girl necessarily has to meet every shadchan. And if they decide which to meet based on whether or not they charge, that seems like a pretty sensible way of doing things.

I agree with ubiquitin.

As for the farragamo belt, you’re right that everyone is entitled to a few mishugasen and it shouldn’t be the deciding factor in any shiduch, but the question isn’t out of place when trying to get a feel of the boy.

And you meant “flare-up.” “Flair-up” would be those shadchanim who only deal with the wealthy, and there’s no reason to be concerned your post would encourage that.

I would get angry, too. Why are you looking at people’s private things?

(CA, I have nothing to post here, but I don’t want you to feel ignored.)

no one denies that there is climate change,

But it is denied that climate change is a matter of concern.

I don’t understand LF’s and CA’s attitude. I love when I have the last word. It means that my last post was so correct that no one could argue.

Thanks, Comlink-X.

Why in the world is Neville ChaimBerlin’s subtitle, “blocked” when he doesn’t appear to be blocked at all?

Why’s that?

Who in the world is ????

That’s why.

It is.

Impossible?

lol. It is possible.

Touro College, the classes in accounting, for one.

??? ?????, not ???? ?????.

And many shidduchim have been turned down by boys wanting things that really don’t make a difference to a marriage.

No one is infalliable, as I already said here

http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/the-nasi-project-an-updated-assesement-of-this-shidduch-initiative#post-591023

but having parents in charge makes the insane demands come from someone other than the one whose opinion actually counts. I didn’t mention it earlier, but parents being in charge also has a major drawback from parents’ laziness and/or insistence on federal investigations on each potential shidduch.

it’s based on someone whose opinion I highly value who dealt with too many bad marriages caused by the boy’s immaturity, and (unrelated) to the point at which one’s learning style is established enough to get married.

I’m really curious if this respected person happens to know whether or not Israeli couples have more shalom bayyis issues than American families. (This whole thing is really irrelevant to this thread, but I am curious.) And I don’t know what you mean with that use of parenthesis; please remember that learning wasn’t mentioned in this thread thus far.

And similar to the litvish older girls, older boys especially if their ruchnios is low are considered “damaged goods”. And not being married for a not so solid boy definitely hinders his ruchnios, so it’s a vicious cycle.

so there we have it. Although they start shiduchim at the same age, there is still one gender who is more affected by age than the other gender.

Isn’t “corny jokes that don’t make sense” self-contradictory?

golfer, that was a typo. It should have said “younger girls” and not “single girls”

DY:

I don’t know why you think boys care less about unimportant criteria for a shidduch than do parents.

I speak from experience. Many shiduchim have been turned down by parents wanting things that didn’t make a difference to their children. Everyone–parents and children alike–will have their “thing” or “things” they’re makpid on, some of which are understandable, some of which aren’t. The result of parents dictating their children’s shiduchim is more of both types.

I think in the litvish yeshiva system, the natural age at which boys are ready to get married is about 22-23, and girls 19-20, and this is the cause of the gap. It has little or nothing to do with parental involvement.

First of all, I disagree with that assumption that the “natural age at which they’re ready to get married…” I don’t know if you meant it like that or if you merely meant that “the age at which they typically start dating.” If you meant the former, please tell me which psychological test you used to determine their readiness, whom you tested, and how you arrived at your results.

Second of all, age fastidiousness and fastidiousness about other nonsensical things is what makes the age gap be a problem, and that was

brought about through parents.

Joseph, I once asked a chassidish acquaintance of mine if it’s true that they don’t have any shiduch crisis, and he replied, “we don’t have a problem with the age; we have our own problems, though.” He didn’t elaborate. So that fits in with what I claim that were the age gap to be closed, there would still be problems. I also don’t know how much you can prove from chassidim as it is; the whole nature of a husband/wife relationship is different than ours, which is why we have our system and they theirs, in the first place. The fact that parental intervention doesn’t cause them problems wouldn’t necessarily prove anything about us.

hiram, I haven’t conducted a study on the matter, but from my own experience and from what others tell me, a boy’s options are a lot more than a girl’s, and often a girl is stuck without any shiduchim coming their way.

Okay. I think keeping parents away from their children’s shiduchim is not only sane, it’s smart.

If there continued to be an age gap, how would there not continue to be a shidduch crisis?

There are two things: 1) the fact that boys start dating later than girls do 2) the hakpada that boys’ parents have that their son shouldn’t marry someone older.

#2 is a direct consequence of parents being in charge, and if parents are not involved, that problem will go away. The #1 problem is only a problem as far as you take #2. In words, I mean that if boys would date older girls, the fact that they start later wouldn’t matter.

If boys would start shiduchim earlier, and the insane hypothetical law outlawing marrying a younger girl were to be enacted, but parents would still be in charge of the shiduchim, there probably would be improvement, but there would still be a general crisis, spread out equally among the boys and girls. When there’s an equal amount of unmarried boys and girls, it would result in everyone getting married eventually, the emphasis on “eventually”.

South Fallsburg has a very yeshivish crowd. The alumni typically end up in BMG, and go on to either stay in learning or get a yeshivishe job.

Toras Moshe is geared to getting the smart individuals who are on their way to college. Some of the alumni end up going to college, some don’t.

Torah Vodaas really depends on whose shiur you’d attend. R’ Savitsky’s shiur attracts people similar to South Fallsburg (not as “yeshivish”). R’ Reisman’s shiur is in English, has less yeshivish people, a lot of whom go to college or will go to college.

As far as where the best learning would be…I don’t think that should be posted here.

Joseph, the reason for the crisis is the fact that parents are put in charge of their children’s shiduchim and have inapt requirements for their perspective daughter in law. The age gap only serves to allow their demands to be met; hence, the age gap itself is not the issue but rather a means by which to nourish the underlying problem. Having boys dating earlier will not achieve anything, as long as it’s still acceptable for older boys to marry much younger girls. So the only way to stop the ctisis is to either keep parents away from their children’s shiduchim, or to have a more tortuous approach, which would be to somehow outlaw older boys from marrying single girls, which would be extremely insane, and anyway, isn’t what NASI is trying to do.

Mashiach Agent, why are you posting something that has nothing to do with Mashiach?

??? ??? ????

darth vador (or vader), the op was talking about on our planet.

I just reread my post. It says mods, is it possible to post my response on the other side here? I don’t know how I substituted ‘side’ for ‘thread’. (And I’m impressed you understood what I meant.)

mods, is it possible to post my response on the other side here?

Interesting question.

I don’t see why it shouldn’t be said. You say maybe “we havent started saying it”, and we haven’t, in practice, but theoretically when we begin saying it is on shabbos already.

Additionally, that s’vara is probably only used as to when to be m’sakein the time for beginning, but once the date was fixed as the 61st day, it wouldn’t be changed because no one said it yet. (ex. If you know that everyone else forgot to say it, you would still say it.)